Perfect Vanity

Nobody drops by my blog looking for perfect analogies or expecting slick intellectual insights. The Blue Book clumsily still saws each timber by hand ... and turns out 2x4's and fence posts with all their flaws and imperfections intact.

Gotta admit I have a hard time watching reality TV.

Not the shows where human beings make fools of themselves to win money or fame in fake situations that have nothing to do with "Real Life," but the real real-life shows ... like the ones on National Geographic Channel starring The Hungry Lion family or the Starving Hyenas next door.

I won't go into the gruesome details; you can click on either link [above] and see exactly what I'm talking about if you're interested. At least if you watched, you'd know quite vividly what I'm referring to.

It's amazing that

-a Zebra mare will ignore the jaws of hyenas and run beside her colt to protect and save it from being eaten alive without regard to her own safety

-a Cape Buffalo female will willingly separate herself from the safety of the herd to race forward and protect her calf from a half-dozen lions intent on eating it alive

-female Elephants will swarm around and conceal an injured calf between their legs to protect it from being singled-out and devoured by predators

I'm awed by their Courage and frankly, their absolute Fearlessness in literal life-and-death situations usually leaves me in tears. I mean Heck ... I'm awed that none of them ran away explaining that graduation or their careers or their finances or disappointing their parents came ahead of fighting to save the lives of their offspring.

Go ahead & roll your eyes ... "Hey Papa Stupid, we're different. We're not animals, are we?"

Nope, because animals don't trust what they see on TV or put their faith in lies.

Only human beings could be so vain to create a "pro-choice" culture and then argue that destroying one's own offspring is rational and a "right."

All right, young lady ...

Don't have sex.

"But I'd rather you take these than get pregnant and ruin your future. Just don't say anything to your father ... I told him it's because you get such bad cramps."


Right right right.

Do numbers really matter?

"A groundbreaking ABC News "Primetime Live" survey finds a range of eye-popping sexual activities, fantasies and attitudes in this country, confirming some conventional wisdom, exploding some myths -- and venturing where few scientific surveys have gone before."
-http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/Story?id=156921&page=1

Total Number of Sex Partners
	Average	Median
All	13	5
Men	20	8
Women	6	3

Total Number of Sex Partners
	All	Men	Women
One	19%	12	25
2-4	25	16	33
5-10	28	26	29
11-20	12	18	6
21+	12	20	4

First-time sex was too young:
Men	37%
Women	50

-Sexually active young people report a median of two partners in the last year, compared with a median of one for other adults.
-Concern about AIDS and other STDs peaks, at 59 percent, among anyone who's had two or more sex partners in the last year

-Four in 10 [young people] say sex without an emotional relationship is OK

Did this really happen?

I was surprised this Clemson Homecoming Weekend to see how many folks at the marina have Gamecock decals on their cars during the week, but have Clemson season tickets, wear orange on game day Saturday and are raising their kids to be Tiger fans.

They simply explained that which team they cheered for during the week was a private matter, that they didn't want to offend their friends and co-workers (who are Carolina fans), and besides ... who they cheered for in private was nobody else's business because all teams are ultimately the same.

Yeah right, like that would ever happen.

I mean, not on Saturday anyway.

Today's "I'm Too Trashed from Church to Make The Game"* Playlist
The Noise We Make

* Nobody ever says that, do they? Because worship is postpone-able, but kickoff time ...

Add to the top of Today's Must-Have List

The definitive golf-ball display case.

Soirce.com

Yesterday, I realized...

Yesterday, I realized it's my bad, my bad, my ooh so bad, Celit(?) Masa(?) has no chance of winning the World Drivers Championship. I'm easily confused. Sorry. Oops.
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RTSS/AS02

"Scientists have been on the lookout for a malaria vaccine since the 1970s but no vaccine has demonstrated a protection rate of more than 35% [emphasis added]. Meanwhile, malaria continues to ravage nations and rob children of their lives. Annually, malaria affects half a billion people across the world, killing 2-3 million people. A child is killed every 30 seconds around the world." - Vaccine kindles hope

STATISTICS ON MALARIA

• Malaria is one of the planet's deadliest diseases and one of the leading causes of sickness and death in the developing world. According to the World Health Organization there are 300 to 500 million clinical cases of malaria each year resulting in 1.5 to 2.7 million deaths.
• Children aged one to four are the most vulnerable to infection and death. Malaria is responsible for as many as half the deaths of African children under the age of five. The disease kills more than one million children - 2,800 per day - each year in Africa alone. In regions of intense transmission, 40% of toddlers may die of acute malaria.
• About 40% of the world's population - about two billion people - are at risk in about 90 countries and territories. 80 to 90% of malaria deaths occur in sub-Saharan Africa where 90% of the infected people live.
• Sub-Saharan Africa is the region with the highest malaria infection rate. Here alone, the disease kills at least one million people each year. According to some estimates, 275 million out of a total of 530 million people have malaria parasites in their blood, although they may not develop symptoms.
• Of the four human malaria strains, Plasmodium falciparum is the most common and deadly form. It is responsible for about 95% of malaria deaths worldwide and has a mortality rate of 1-3%.
• In the early 1960s, only 10% the world's population was at risk of contracting malaria. This rose to 40% as mosquitoes developed resistance to pesticides and malaria parasites developed resistance to treatment drugs. Malaria is now spreading to areas previously free of the disease.
• Malaria kills 8,000 Brazilians yearly - more than AIDS and cholera combined.
• There were 483 reported cases of malaria in Canada in 1993, according to Health Canada and approximately 431 in 1994. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the United States received reports of 910 cases of malaria in 1992 and seven of those cases were acquired there. In 1970, reported malaria cases in the U.S. were 4,247 with more than 4,000 of the total being U.S. military personnel.
• According to material from Third World Network Features, in Africa alone, direct and indirect costs of malaria amounted to US $800 million in 1987 and are expected to reach US $1.8 billion annually by 1995.

-source here

Farewell, old friends

I've had these for 12 years and hate to throw them out.

Fear, not Choice

Back in college, Don and I had a friend named Tim. Tim was from Illinois, was raised Catholic, and played on the offensive line. You may have already guessed, because he played college football, that Tim was quite strong.

One time I saw Tim pick up a 150-pound barbell (not a dumbbell or curling bar) and do a standing military press ... with one hand ... so your guess woulda been correct.

Tim had even stronger morals and values than that: another friend's girlfriend once made a "suggestive overture" to Tim. He responded by first addressing her appropriately (rather than by name), then let her know she had a CHOICE to make: either she told her boyfriend what she'd done, or he would.

She had a big choice to make ... and neither outcome looked pretty or desirable.

The reason Tim didn't take the girl up on her offer wasn't because Tim was afraid of her boyfriend (or of anybody else). Tim also faced a choice , but his decision not to have sex with the girl was based on strength ... not on opportunity or convenience.

Also worth mentioning that Tim didn't have sex with his friend's girlfriend and then lie about what he'd done, or sneak around behind his friend's back and then claim that he hadn't. Tim didn't have a quickie on the floor beside the couch and then apologize "I'm sorry, but I was drunk" to her boyfriend. Or shrug "It was just that one time."

Tim could do one-handed presses with 150 pounds, for pete's sake. Tim wasn't easily impressed ... not by what either men could do or by women thought about him ... which meant he wasn't afraid to tell the truth, always, and then act according to strength.

Tim was too strong to be weak.

And lying, like making excuses, is a playground for weaklings.

Who knew?

Just found out this morning the 1985 Carver Riviera was available in a hardtop model.

Wow.

Call Me ... just don't answer

(a) I just won't necessarily answer, or (b) listen to your message. But (c) don't answer when my number pops up on your phone.


See, I have on-going & unresolved Communication Issues:
A. My phone turns itself off for no reason without telling me
B. I forgot my password to retrieve voice mails
C. Carrying my phone in my front pocket means it speed-dials folks whose names start with "N," "L" and "J" of its own accord

Better to call early, and often ...



Wednesday's "The Volume Knob is my Glazed Donut" Playlist:

Communication Breakdown - Led Zepplin

Fall Classes - for men

(Tom sent me this; I'm merely passing it along ...)

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, October 23, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, October 30, 2007

Class 1
How To Fill Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM .

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday a t 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks , Saturday noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

this is weird

Noticed that if I eat breakfast while on-line, I have zero association with the actual eating experience.

Meaning there's an empty plate on the table, I'm not hungry and I owe somebody three bucks.

Here comes the weekend

Yes, oh my YES ....

(It don't come easy)

Planet Terror

I hate Windows Vista. Vista truly proves the universe is de-energizing and moving into frozen, static flux. Vista is the operating system designed to make computers EZ for "normal people" by geeks visualizing what "normal people" must be like; since geeks never met one and could not communicate with one even if they had, Vista is absolutely the worst idea since New Coke.

Mr. Gates, Mr. Dell et al: Congratulations, you have all but driven your most fervent and ardent supporter, meaning me, toward the unthinkable.

You've succeeded in making Windows Vista so user-unfriendly and counter-intuitive, so mind-numbingly difficult to navigate ... and have bogged-down new "custom made" PCs with so many trial programs, I'm looking seriously at Macs.

Come to think of it, none of the Windows-based operating systems ever improved on DOS, did they? (At least, DOS worked.)

Please, not another Necktie Party

"Form follows function." - Horatio Greenough


Ok, so what's the FUNCTION of a necktie? I mean, seriously.

Hello all Earth stations:A necktie has no function; it's a DECORATION & a FASHION STATEMENT and only changes how we feel about OURSELVES.

Which sure sounds like unbridled VANITY to me.

Besides, God already knows what's hanging in your closet ... and wants us to show what's in our hearts instead.

Unmatched Performance - passion, passion passion

-meant to include this anecdote in last week's post "Why Bother?"


"Jim Clark's drive in the 1967 Italian Grand Prix is regarded one of the greatest ever in F1. After starting from pole, he was leading in his Lotus 49 (chassis R2), when a tyre punctured. He lost an entire lap while having the wheel changed in the pits. After rejoining sixteenth, Clark then showed his genius by driving at his own limit, something which was not required when leading.

"He ripped back through the field, progressively lowered the lap record, eventually equalling his pole time of 1m 28.5s, to regain the lost lap and the lead. He was narrowly ahead of Brabham and Surtees starting the last lap, but his car had not been filled with enough fuel for such a performance [italics added]— it faltered, and finally coasted across the finish line in third place. This performance is considered unmatched in the long history of F1." -wikipedia

Aye, thar be monsters ...

... and dragons and such.


See? I done told you so.

The Church Factory?

Before trying to live like Christ you must first live, worship, talk and dress like me … embracing all my legalistic rules and empty traditions.

In an off-hand remark in his elephant-hunting memoirs from the 1930s, John “Pondoro” Taylor quipped that the African missionaries that seemed most effective and had the longest-lasting impact were the White Fathers.

60 years ago the White Fathers were notorious among other missionary organizations, who considered them suspect trouble-makers for two reasons: the White Fathers didn’t try to “convert” Africans into Europeans.

And because the White Fathers thundered around Africa on motorcycles.

Esta noche

Tan salvaje, con ella manos en ella pelo.

musica.

Part 2, tomorrow there...

Part 2, tomorrow there are dragon races at the Marina to celebrate the Viking Invasion of Lake Hartwell, back in 957 AD.
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North 34, 29.025, West...

North 34, 29.025, West 082, 49.264. I'm anchored out here for the evening, it's still weird calling in post(?), but I'm anchored out because tomorrow
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All About Holga

Yes, certain thieves & scoundrels made sure I have no camera. But that's about to change:

"Holga is here to save you from a future of digital pixels and images shared on small screens on cameras or phones. We have all become numbed with photography, there is no denying it, but a chunky camera made almost entirely of plastic has been put on this Earth to save us. It will reawaken your vision, fill you with joy, make you see beauty when you thought it had disappeared forever, and bring out sunshine on a cloudy day." http://shop.lomography.com/holga/

Wiki-up on the $25 camera that blows the socks off all the digital-derring-do:
Holga camera

A big THANK YOU-

-for Big Jake

"What is going on is definitely more than a hint of immorality. These young people are pretending to live in the vows of marriage without understanding the covenant of marriage and the commitment, sacrifice, and hard work it takes to make a marriage work. To do this basically spits in the face of God and tells Him that His design for marriage is outdated and needs to be improved. God also says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to flee from sexual immorality.

These youth are being deceived. What they are doing in their minds is getting as close to sin as they can without crossing “the line.” In doing this, they are being deceived into thinking that they are strong enough to avoid going farther into sin. Scripture doesn’t tell us to get as close as we can to “the line” as long as we don’t sin…scripture tells us to flee from sexual immorality and to be holy because God is holy. Our goal should be to see how much like Jesus we can be…not to see how much we can get away with without crossing a morality standard that we create and feel comfortable with.

One thing I learned long ago is that sin will take you farther than you want to go, and will cost you more than you were ever willing to pay."

Nosy nosy

Still no prospect of regular web access from my dock, which meant roaming around Marina City's parking lot in search of a wireless signal.

I started going online from Huddle House because there's a dude where I live who's convinced that I'm a "private investigator" and enjoys sneaking up to the truck and suddenly banging on the door while I'm online to demand "What the %#*! are you doing? Who the #$&! are you watching?"

After five surprise encounters with this guy (maybe he's too drunk to remember the first four times?), these confrontations start getting old. Scary even ... especially because not even "the dock regulars" know who he is, and his behavior's so weird some of them have become anxious to uh, make his acquaintance.

Anyway, back to the present.

So why do people feel so entitled to snoop and be so nosy? I mean, people walking past the table will practically stop and read my e-mails along with me. Even dudes with Spock-style phone pods screwed into their ear holes gape as if seeing something new from outer space.

It's not just bad manners; it's something to do with feeling entitled to butt-in and indulge without consequences.

[A few bugs yet] KEN taught me how to...

Ken taught me how to do this. Now, I will teach Ken the pirate dance.
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Can I post from my cell...

Can I post from my cell phone?
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I AM old, I AM stubborn

With irregular web access at Marina City, I've resorted to surfing/waffling at the local Huddle House.

I sit at the same place, in the same booth, every time. No matter that there's an air-conditioner leak in the ceiling over my head.

I still sit in the same place and on the same side of the booth every time. Because I won't be beaten even if drain drops keep falling on my head. Let it drain down on me.

Proof enough.

Before we get married, there's something you need to know ...

Wow, does that phrase strike terror in a lover's heart, or what?

[interrupted by phone call ...

9:19 pm Yep, that was my folks on the phone. Anyway ------]

Never mind the details & all the background info involving the past: when two believers who are in love with Christ find each other through the Holy Spirit, the past is dead. Totally & to everything.

On the other hand, here's some stinkers from the future that would likely kill engagement dead on the spot:

1) My career/children/church will always come first
2) Having nice things is important to me
3) My mom thinks we should ...

What's coming next ... a dual G5? [updated/explained]

Looks like I've been spending too much time with mac-Friends ... hmmm.

The above image is my most recent photo; sort of a major departure from previous stuff [below].

Why flippin' bother?!

Ferrari's Felipe Massa finished 3rd --- 12.8 seconds behind Ferrari teammate Kimi Räikkönen --- in Sunday's Grand Prix of China. Why is a 3rd place finish worth mentioning ... and why did it keep me up half of last night thinking about it?

Because even though he had ZERO CHANCE of closing the gap, Massa was driving successively faster laps to the finish, and drove the fastest lap of the race - of anybody- on the very last lap of the race.

What's up with that?

Massa coulda played it safe, coulda avoided taking chances, coulda thought "Well, I can't win so I'll slow down & ease off the throttle to avoid crashing" ... but instead he pulled out all the stops and drove all-out all the way to the finish.

That's the pure joy of driving the race. That's passion.

Race to win ... or drive something safe & practical like a Prius- and stay off the flippin' track.


A Purely Passionate PS:
Oooh, looks like Massa's a contender to win the 2007 Driver's Championship (a 3-way tie means the winner's gonna be decided two weeks from now in the Grand Prix of Brazil -- the last race of the season).

Aaah, wanna take a wild guess what country Massa happens to hail from?

In the end, all things figure

I previously mentioned that Ferrari's already won the 2007 F1 Constructor's Championship.

I didn't know this when I wrote yesterday's post, but it just figures ... and shows ta go ya:
Passion is everything.
Passion is all about winning.
Passion never dies.

See you in Sao Paulo

Lewis Hamilton's decision to eke a few more laps from his tires in yesterday's Grand Prix of China may have ruined the 20-year old McClaren-Mercedes driver's chance at becoming the first rookie ever to win a Formula 1 Driver's Championship.

After leading for most of the race, Hamilton entered the pit lane going just a bit too fast and slid into a gravel trap instead. That unbelievable, minuscule lapse of judgment means the championship will be decided two weeks from now in the last race of the season: The Grand Prix of Brazil.

F1 Page with photos here

So sex in marriage can't be sow n' sew?

Didn't guys used to own that old saw about needing to "sow their wild oats" before marriage?

But come on ladies, having 5 ... or 10 or 20 sexual partners before marriage doesn't come with a stigma (or label) attached any more, does it? Shoot, I've ever heard women explain their sexual habits according to the "take the test drive first" theory. So, sow, sew what?

So instead of taking test laps, I'd rather race from the driver's seat (doing the steering and the shifting myself) for the entire race ... instead of merely being another passenger riding along in the backseat, thank you very much.

-- -- You can't win races if you aren't passionate about driving -- --

Forget rationalizations like "Well, compared to girls like so-and-so" or "Times have changed" or "Lots of girls/guys are worse than me ..." or even "Numbers don't matter." Having casual sex (in any form, thank you Ms Lewinski) .... or using the excuse "I'm just getting some experience under my belt" or even daydreaming with mechanical curiosity about "I wonder what it would be like with so-and-so ..." are sew STOOPID. For girls and for guys.

-- oooh uh oh, he's standing on the gas coming out of the corner ----

Here's a CRAZY FANTASY: What about the idea of sharing all your sexual sewing (in all its intrigues) with one person ... forever? Like, with a person who's proven they've been worth waiting for - and feels the same way about you?

Or, since you've already absorbed all the sleaziness our profit-motived culture's convinced you must be "real life," does the idea of having just one sexual partner sound impossibly boring & dull? Do it? Does it?

Only for those so-and-so's stymied by an embarrassingly Spectacular deficit of Passion and Romantic uh, Imagination.

It aint me

Like this a lot.

More volume if you please, Mr Scott.

Huddle Up [2 scrambled, grits, 2 biscuits, a waffle ... and a tiger tale]

A few loose odds 'n ends in time for the weekend ...

- What Kinda Crazy Nut Would Do This?
At 6:45 am there musta been 70 bass boats on the water, poised in a half-circle near the gas dock. Looked like they were waiting for a 7AM Starting Signal to begin a weekend tournament ... then I saw another dozen waiting to be off-loaded from their trailers.

OK, I don't understand why anybody'd get up and leave the house by 2:00 AM to go bass-fishing, I just don't.

Especially when Live Formula 1 Qualifying from the Grand Prix of China stayed on until 3AM. ---And if you can't watch racing live, why bother?

- Francis Lands On Double-Overtime Secret Phone Restriction, Indeed
I love Francis dearly, ya'll know this. But while she's always had a sense of humor, in the past few months her wit has become spontaneous, razor-sharp & blistering. Problem is, we wait till the rates go down at 9PM ... so by the time we get off the phone I'm laughing so hard I can't even think about falling asleep and end up sleep-deprived the next day.

Francis, stop making me laugh so hard. So late and so often. Indeed.

-I Refuse To Believe In Gravity
Somebody fell on the dock the other day. I've seen lots of people fall and think falling is unfair. They say it's because of gravity, but I just can't believe gravity would be so unfair. That's how I came to the conclusion gravity doesn't exist. Because I don't like falling.

-I Hope You're Still Not Here To Read This
Yesterday I heard that high school kids are having sex "like animals in a zoo."

Does that explain why they can't read, or find South Carolina on a map?

-Finally, I Reckon
After bombing in theaters, Grindhouse is out on DVD.

-pApa'S PURe wReTChed MeAneSS Department
The other day a friend over on Dock 14 told me, "You ever need tickets to home games, let me know. I got two for ya anytime you want 'em." True.

Gosh too bad I'm a Spurrier fan, eh?

Feelin’ Good Faith, Day Trippers & Daydream Believers

7:23 PM

My heart’s broken because you still don’t believe – why even bother pretending that you do?

You can’t even wake up without an alarm clock, stay in touch without a cell phone, program your TiVo … or have a meaningful relationship and still keep all your clothes on … yet somehow you know more than the Creator, and think you’ve worked a private “deal.”

Because you think God wrote the Bible for other people. Because you think God must’ve negotiated 1 trillion deals & Exceptions Clauses (like yours … because that’s the only way you’d get one) in the past 2000 years?

So stop the flippin’ sinning already.

See, your life remains exactly that. Yours … and you aren’t even ashamed to let everyone see it. Your life is spelled out in big bold electric letters at all your exits along LIFE’S HIGHWAY (just so you don’t forget when it’s time to get off?):

MY life exits and takes My-Wanna Adventure Highway here … because your route leads to your career, your conveniences, your interpretations, your lifestyle, your choices and your expectations.

Might wanna get ready for some Breakdowns and Layovers prior to arriving at your disappointment destination, too.

"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?"

My NetFlix

	Val Lewton: Isle of the Dead / Bedlam		NR	Horror	Shipping today
2	Night Watch		R	Foreign	10/03/07	10/04/07
3	Life and Debt		NR	Documentary	10/03/07	10/04/07
4	Find Me Guilty		R	Drama	10/03/07	10/04/07
5	The White Hell of Pitz Palu		NR	Foreign	10/03/07	10/04/07
6	Fidel

Big Snappers anxious to meet you!

"Swimming: Lake Hartwell has 15 designated public swim beaches. There are hundreds of Island and shoreline beaches throughout the lake. Water temperatures may be suitable for swimming from May through October. There are no alligators, jellyfish, poisonous snakes or other unusual swimming hazards." http://www.lake-hartwell.com/GreatLake/LakeActivities.htm

Uh, Uh-Oh ... YES THERE ARE ALLIGATORS in LAKE HARTWELL ... and their disposal is your responsibility.

Awesome.

Meet Mrs Moorhead

Sherry's cool.

Die Weiße Hölle vom Piz Palü

I've been waiting TEN YEARS to see this movie!

And it's coming tomorrow via NetFlix ... oh joy.

Clueless, clueless - UPDATED

Went to the grocery store this afternoon and saw a girl who looked awfully familiar.

In the checkout line I glanced over, she was already glancing over, a rhythm sorta developed from there, she seemed so familiar I guessed she was trying to remember, too.

After taking longer than it shoulda, when I glanced up after paying she was gone.

No bells are ringing ... so familiar, but still can't remember what's missing.

I think I recognized her from the donut room, the Fine Arts Building, Sunday mornings back at AC.

Creativity!

I love cheesecake; I hate strawberries.

Today by accident, I discovered Chili Cheesecake & my culinary world will never be the same.

(Nor will my digestion)

This is how trouble starts, right here

I'm live at an undisclosed Huddle House location (with web access).

I got chili, cheesecake ... and one spoon.

Get Your Sunday On

7:45 AM

Wow, talk about an action-packed Sunday Triple-Header:

Outlaw Dirt Track Sprint Car Racing
900 horsepower open-wheel racing on a dirt track oval
-2 PM on SpeedTV

ING Formula 1 Grand Prix of Japan
200 mph road-racing in the rain at the foot of Mt. Fuji

(Ferrari’s already clinched the Constructor’s Championship; will phenom Lewis Hamilton do the unthinkable & become the first rookie to clinch the Driver’s Championship?)
-US replay at 4 PM on SpeedTV

Gametime
No second-place winners in the ultimate real-life battle
-Live at 9:15am, 11:15, 4:15pm & 6

Pocahontas - clarified; one reader writes back

So I'm back to my old schedule of getting up at 4 AM - which means I can watch feature-length movies like The New World before the sun's up.

Ok, so the truth is that most historians these days doubt the story about Pocahontas saving John Smith's life by throwing her arms around his neck as he was about to be clubbed to death by her fathers' warriors ... John Smith didn't get around to telling that story till 7 years after she died, at age 22.

Besides, he was 29 when taken prisoner and she would've been about 13. And Smith was hardly known for being a "friend" of Native Americans, sorry. Also, I wonder how many 20-something single women in the 21st century identify with Pocahantas, and wanna be "just like her" when they grow up.

Still it was great entertainment; some of my favorite lines include:

Oh, to be given to you …
You to me
I will be faithful to you
True
Two no more
One.

You flow through me like a river
Come
Follow me.
I can’t sleep till I see you again

She weaves all things together
I touched her long ago
Without knowing her name

Once false,
I must not be again.
Take out the thorn.

Aw gee, one reader sent me this original 3AM update:
I can hear her heartbeat from a thousand miles
And the heavens open up every time she smiles
When I come to her that is where I belong
And I'm running through her like a rivers song

Nice, indeed.

Postcard Believers

Tagging along for a thrill ride.

Church bizarre

Ok, we know some denominations call themselves "Baptists" and, modeling themselves after John the Baptist, don't touch alcohol.

See, John was stripping away everything that reeked of being man-made and religious --- and opening the way for the messiah. Did ya catch that part? The Pharisees and priests showed out and "proved" their religiousness by wearing fine garments and creating rules for others to follow - while John trusted his faith and lived according to what God provided.

Not being sarcastic, but if you're modeling yourself after John:

(1) You missed something critical to the New Testament - model yourself after Christ instead

(2) What are your feelings about homeless folks who wear animal-hide suits n' ties to church?

And anyway ... when's the last time you had a honey-melt locust Baptist-burger?

completely

Golly, didn't Christ sacrifice himself completely & die completely on the cross so I could be completely forgiven?

So how can I give myself ... my focus/money/career/relationships/everything including my body ... to him in any way other than completely?

Was Jesus A Redneck?

Heck yeah he was … especially when compared to the religious leaders who got in his face. And don't roll your eyes 'cause there's a point here:

-The temple priests in Jerusalem were like today’s New York City bankers & stock brokers: hearing about a country preacher from Nazareth got them riled-up that things weren’t being done “the proper well-mannered way”

-Arriving in Jerusalem, the disciples were awed like country boys falling off the turban-truck and seeing “the big city” for the first time

-After hearing about Jesus, the priests asked each other, “Has anything good ever come from Nazareth?” (sorta like modern-day Belton)

-After Christ’s arrest, one of Peter’s accusers identified him by his accent

-The first miracle was turning water into “wine-shine”

-There’s some really big-time Takin’ Names and Kickin-A in Revelation

And not even King James' scribes' best flowery prose could turn the Prince of Peace from into a limp-wristed lamb-kisser.

And when ya live on a boat …

… storage space comes at an extreme premium. So it pays to think carefully and plan in advance about Only stowing what’s important and essential.

Sorta like making “MY BIG WHAT I’M TAKING WITH ME TO HEAVEN” list.

To make sure I’m comfortable, and have all the luxuries I need forever. In case God gets busy and forgets something that’s important to me.

Yaaaa, just saying. That bus always has one empty seat … and don’t arrive on nobody’s schedule.

Get yer intimacy & affection right here

6:00 PM

I didn’t think of this; Chip Ingram said this on 106.9 FM yesterday morning and it rang the big bell real good: Human beings need intimacy and affection.

But if you’re lonely … feeling your life’s missing intimacy & affection … guess what? It’s NOT in romance or in a relationship with another person.

Quick-n-easy affection has an embarrassing way of evaporating when exposed to daylight (or sobriety) … and real Intimacy just ain’t the same thing as THANKS A LOT SWEETIE, UH I’LL CALL YA NEXT TIME ME SO HORNY … I PROMISE.

Feeling empty, lonely and un-loved is God tugging at our heart strings and saying.

Wish we could hang out & spend more time together … ‘cause you’ve been on my mind forever and I been missing you for what seems like an eternity. Know what else?

I LOVE YOU and wish you felt the same way, because I can’t forget you ... no matter what you’ve done.

There’s something else I wanna say, so call me back … I’m always here.

Back up for bits n' pieces, from the rabbit warren

"The greatest thing in life is finding someone who knows all of your mistakes and weaknesses ... and still finds you completely amazing." -Wesley's friend, Brooklyn

Not sure that's the greatest thing in life, but it'll do for a boot-leg post on a Monday night here live from Marina City.

Intimacy, Affection & and A Handful of Stinking Liars

Oh yeah, check back often & see when that one's posted .... it's just too riveting a title to stick up there by itself :-)

No No No

It can't be true. Summer's not really back, is it? Just feels that way, right?

BLOG-O-SPHERE UPDATE

Web access more difficult to find than ever, so no new posts ... and somebody keeps trying to break into my storage building. Pesky pests.

Somebody Oughta Do A Commercial …

7:10 am

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Eeeh, somebody probably already has.

tomorrow?

More as we get there: git ready for a big weekend!

Power Budget

Guess what? When there's no web access for 2 or 3 days ya start not to miss it, and logging on seems like a chore ... :-)

I anchored Calypso out the other night to try the new inverter [more later]. Watched one DVD that night and another one the next day, before the mighty inverter sucked its 350-pound battery bank dry.

WHAT?! How's that possible ... I got enough battery power to jump-start the starship Enterprise ... and shoulda had at least another 2 days or so of juice still in reserve.

So I sat down with a pencil, a calculator and an Energy Budget worksheet to tally-up my actual energy spending ... rather than trusting my own "good sense." Aha, guess what I found?

I'd been real good about taking it easy with the obvious power-hogs, like the microwave, toaster oven and stereo receiver, but it was the little stuff I'd overlooked: stuff that seemed too insignificant to take into account that drained me dry.

Carelessness like leaving the laptop on overnight, not turning off its external hard drive, and letting a desk fan whir away all night that added up to nickel-and-dime wasting of 2/3 of my battery capacity.

Uh, this closely parallels what happens to folks who try to manage their personal finances without first building a budget. Even spending a buck for a Diet Coke, when there's no allowance for a Diet Coke, puts the budget into deficit even if you make $200,000 a year.

The big difference is that boat batteries get fully recharged and ready to go again in two painless hours.

Row ZZ, Seat 799

8:44 PM

Yep, he/she calls him/herself a Christ-lover … so long as there's box seats available and Christ's the home team playing in the local stadium.

Anger, Rape, Murder … and Who’s Your Daddy?

7:42 pm

I did a post about anger & rage the other day; I’m coming back to it because I don’t think I was quite clear enough: Anger is a sin. Anger is a sin deserving of more attention because Anger can only grow from a tiny seed called vanity.

Ok, how’s that again?

Remember the Roman soldier who stuck the spear in Christ’s side … let’s call him Sam the Solider. His duty (as part of the crucifixion squad) was to absolutely make sure no one came down from the cross alive.

Historical records indicate it sometimes took criminals condemned to die by crucifixion almost a week to die … before exposure, dehydration and muscle fatigue ultimately took their toll. So if Christ seemed to die within 3 hours of being crucified, Sam’s job was to make sure the deaths of condemned prisoners was both sincere and … complete.

Roman law tended to be a bit intolerant of slackers: if Sam messed up and “let one get away” then he had to replace the “missing” prisoner’s life with his own. So Sam used his spear to make good n’ sure Christ was dead.

If Christ had been like you and me, after the resurrection he woulda tracked Sam down, jabbed a finger in his face and started shouting “So how do you like me now?” or even “I was dead, now I’m not … you want come git some of this?”

But that’s not what happened.

Christ had more reason to be angry at Sam than you and I will ever have to get mad at anybody, ever … but Jesus just had other things on his mind.

Like following God’s plan, and doing his Father’s will.

- - -- --

Anger comes from vanity; vanity comes from pride; pride comes from ignoring Christ and putting “Me first” and results from immature believers thinking I’M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU SO WHAT EVER I WANNA DO IS OK (and my mommy says so).

Putting ME FIRST makes ignoring God’s plan and getting OUR WAY so much easier … and is ultimately what makes rape, murder, abortion & genocide seem entirely reasonable and justifiable. Anger is an enabler that makes us feel entitled to pick n’ choose whatever roles or behavior ... or scripture … we like.

Because we’re convinced we deserve it.

PUTTING ME FIRST means I get to re-write scripture, make my own plans, stick to my own schedule, prescribe my own eternity … and heck, for that matter, completely leave God outta the equation … because PUTTING ME FIRST means is I’m only accountable to myself.

Uh, yo earthworm guess what? You’re deceptively gullible and a liar: that’s proven on its face every time you choose to ignore God … and put faith in lies.

Now just for fun, guess who’s the father of all lies?

Asking, not listening

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know

That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

"Word of God Speak"
-Mercy Me


Tonight I learned Mike had a heart attack; he might be back home tomorrow.

Summary

I get a headache maybe once a year and today was the one for '07. Fortunately, it only lasted for about 8 minutes.

Hope regular web access will be available again soon; I miss you guys.



Ephesians 1:11-12
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory

Smashing Grapefruit

"Hey Joe know what? You got it all wrong! My God doesn't let bad things happen to people."

That's because your God doesn't exist.

Ho hum, another day in the world

I've been stranded out here in Marina City all week, since Black Lightning's water pump went bad on Monday. The diesel mechanic called this PM and said she'll be ready tomorrow morning, and for just $460. PLUS no web access.

But earlier in the afternoon, the mini-warehouse folks called to tell me my storage unit had been broken into, and I needed to put on a new lock.

Well, things didn't look too bad at first when I got there. Not until I realized the culprit(s) had crawled all the way to the back, turning over and emptying every box on the floor. Like literally, even including my photography prints and negatives. Yes, yes yes.

They got all my video & film cameras, all the lenses, the works. Everything, all gone.

Much less now to worry about losing or having stolen.

Say that again?

For the first time in our 4-year history, tonight Francis actually raised her voice and scolded my tired, clumsy attempts at humor during a difficult dilemma:

"Joseph, I'm not a nice person. I'm pushing myself."

Wow and like, I'm always the last person to find out.

Silly spotted hyenas

3:23 PM

Funny, isn’t it, how you can surrender to Christ (and I don’t mean merely invite him in for a visit), and then start seeing unexpected changes in your life?

I’m not talking about finding out in certain spots, like there's strict new rules you gotta follow to “make sure” you’re saved so you can win nods of approval from the senior members who’re proud to let new members know, “This is the onliest church I ever been to in my whole entire life, and it’s the best church there ever was.”

Nope, I’m talking about changes in the way you act when Nobody’s Watching to see your sin spots … like when you’re feeling tempted and there’s no “Holy Joe’s” standing around nearby, looking over your shoulder.

I grew up in a church environment where drinking, dancing, and gambling were loudly denounced as the worst sort of sins (adultery might’ve been up there too, but seems like sex-talk was too dirty to ever be discussed in church). Because those sins were easily recognized as “among the worst” then identifying the “worst sinners” among us was easy … because those were exactly the sins they committed.

And everybody knew who they were because the Gossip-and-411 Live Updates were always spotting new sins 24/7x365 … even if Blue Laws kept retail stores closed on Sundays.

How about some of those “Other sins?” Aaah let’s see … I guess technically, uh … hey, where ya’ll going for lunch after the service?

Can’t recall hearing much about anger being a sin, and now that makes me mad.

Since I’m a guy, let’s say another guy does something that has the consequence of “making” me enraged. I feel like lashing out, and feel very fortunate when this other guy, his wife and their kids just happen to come walking by.

What makes the set-up even better is, he’s got no idea at all how upset he’s ‘made” me. So soon as he opens his mouth and grins “Hey dude, whadup?” I pounce like a hyena and catch his neck in my rage-jaws, and use verbal claws to open up his best intentions and show him his insides. He can’t even think of one word to defend himself against that kind of vicious attack, and just stammers while I proceed to break off and tear loose every bit of dignity and self-esteem that’s still holding the poor guy up.

For a minute this guy looks like he might even start crying but he can’t, because all the tears have already found another, lower way to flee and exit what’s left of his body.

His wife and kids must be on my side and see who’s stronger, because they keep staring at him as if wondering why he doesn’t step up, fight back and be a man, unless he’s too scared … but being women and children, they don’t understand that today that ain’t gonna happen because I won’t let it happen.

I’m having too much fun.

When I’m finally full and there’s not a scrap of self-respect left on his spine, I grunt “OK, I hope there’s no hard feelings” (because at least I’m feeling satisfied), smack my lips and slouch away to the nearest hyena-hole for a nice post-dinner nap.

Does ripping that guy apart make me a bad person? Heck no, I’m covered all-over with spots that prove I’m a hyena, and doing what hyenas do is fun (and makes hyenas laugh later about doing it). Besides, scaring grown men and pulling people apart feels so gooood … but then maybe you’d have to be a laughing-hyena to know that in the first place.

What difference does it make to me if this poor guy just got his fragile little daddy-ego sliced into bait chunks right there in front of his kids? Shoot, if he’s any kind of man he’ll spank the daylights out of them when he gets home, and teach ‘em that’s the best way to deal with being mad.

Or if he feels humiliated at having his pants pulled down and getting spanked in front of his wife, it’s only because she’s already wearing the pants around their house, and how they speak to or respect each other in the privacy of their own home is none of this hyena’s business.
- - -
Here’s the thing about the situation I just described: Does it really make any difference whether the guy’s wife and kids were standing there to see the guy get a rabid tongue-lashing? Didn’t it still happen the same way, and doesn’t that same guy walk away still feeling just as bruised, and still just as whipped and battered?

Doesn’t he still carry away the same emotional soreness, and hear the same words over and over again (and probably will for days), after he’s driven home and it’s crunch-time again … when he’s gotta step up and be a husband, father, a man and an example … no matter how he got treated that day at work?

Bullying describes the kind of anger that’s directed at a person who’s unable or unwilling to fight back. Intimidating a weaker person, or self-righteously attacking someone who’s in a more vulnerable situation, or taunting them with sarcasm and circular reasoning (“If you knew that’s not what I wanted then why did you do it?”) for whatever reason can in no way be compared to Christ’s anger when he ejected the money-changers from the temple.

I’ve heard that excuse used a time or twelve too many, and it sounds like all the other flimsy excuses folks conjure to explain why their sin just happens not to be a sin after all.

When their real excuse is it’s because hyenas like doing what hyenas do.

Stuck in the saddle again ...

Here's the kind of quick, tight post most-highly favored by the gnomes over at AVCLUB ...

REM I could stay busy if only I had an iPod
CLR
0001 If truck$ = Broke Then water pump$ = kaput
0010 Fret
0020 Call routine MECHANIC
0030 If sum$ = Tomorrow Then wait
0040 If MECHANIC$ = No then Return
0050 For x= 100 GOTO 0005
0060 If CLOCK$=6:00 PM THEN END
0100 END

In the Arms of the Angels

"Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that will make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day

So tired of the straight life
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
Storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack

You were pulled from the wreckage ..."

-Sarah Mclaughlin
In the Arms of the Angels

Real Value Added

8:18 AM

N 34 29.25
W082.59.223

I’ve got two material “things” among my possessions that I value far more than the next say, 10 or 15 “things” on the Most-Important list.

Not gonna say what they are (because it’s unimportant) but let’s describe Item #1 as a very unique “tool.” It’s absolutely not anything essential or something I couldn’t live without; it’s merely frightfully expensive and an affectation I’ve carried since I was a kid, and I was very fortunate to finally find just what I wanted.

At the opposite end of the scale is Item #2. On a good day, I might find someone willing to trade me a can of Diet Coke for this item, but I doubt it. So how does Item #2 end up ranking alongside Item #1?

Because Item #2 is something I could never give to myself: it was a gift I received from the person it who it belonged to and chose to give away. To me.

---

If I ever lost Item #1 (or it was stolen), the insurance company might growl and snarl but eventually they’d end up writing a check. Might take years, but eventually I could probably find something to replace Item #1. So in financial terms at least, there’s no much chance of suffering a loss.

But no amount of money could replace Item #2.

There’s just no replica, substitute or any other “thing” like it. It’s irreplaceable and valuable because it represents the person who gave it to me: it’s not something I could steal or earn for myself. Item #2’s value comes from the importance I’ve attached to my relationship with the person who willingly gifted it to me … and in thinking what gifting this thing to me meant for the person who gave it away.

The only way Item #2 could ever lose its value is if I changed my mind about the person, and felt our relationship was no longer as important as it was.

Item #2’s value might seem entirely symbolic and over-rated, but its importance is still solid in its place alongside Item #1. And Cash is Trash if time ever came to replace it.

---

Uh in case you’re wondering, if I were ever forced to choose between the two which one would I pick? Among all of life’s most difficult decisions, that one would prove to be by far the easiest.

Gosh Joe, frankly I’m not buying it. You’re assigning a lot of value to something that’s practically worthless.

Sure, but writing this now, I realized that even more important than stuff is remembering what it feels like giving it away.