Acts of Worship, Patterns of the World, Reaching the World

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:1-2

---
"These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.

Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." -Mark 16:13-15

The MegaMellow Message?

Yesterday on the FM I heard a radio preacher, I can't remember his name, suggest something like, "It makes you wonder how the message is being mellowed in megachurches to attract such big numbers."

Diggity diggity then, radio dog: did ya forget that no church ever started out being a megachurch?

Why is it so tempting, and so easy, for "traditional" churches to assume that "megachurches" must be "mellowing down the message" ... assuming a priori that otherwise, megachurches wouldn't reach so many people for Christ? Why do critics keep trying to limit God and squeeze him down to fit their convenient little church-in-a-box?

A church that's not adding seats is a church that's stopped reaching people for Christ. Period.

This question could be posed instead: "It makes you wonder why traditional Me-First churches are alienating people from God by keeping the Gospel of Jesus Christ all to themselves."

So what's the biggest difference between a scripturally-based "megachurch" and the scripturally-based church down the street?

A megachurch has more seats.

ChurchMaster Classic

-humor

This weekend Marina City is hosting the acclaimed BassMasters Classic fishing tournament; you can catch live coverage on ESPN.

Having spent a considerable amount of my life knowing what fish look like (and which side of a boat floats), I consider myself something of an expert when it comes to offering suggestions, advice and opinions about fishing.

So this morning I trotted down to the marina office and jumped right in with some helpful suggestions and criticism about how to run a fishing tournament ... just like we did at my old marina.

-We need a dress code. Something about anglers wearing outfits color-coordinated with their bass boats scares me

-Engines are too loud. Turn 'em down and be respectful of those of us trying to sleep!

-Too many contestants. I like a more personal tournament, where all the contestants know my name

-I don't want people from Georgia riding around on my lake. (They're my relatives, after all)

You can imagination the enthusiastic suggestions I received in turn ...

(Please send cash in lieu of flowers to facilitate my speedy and complete bodily recovery.)

Roll bass, roll tide.

:-)

Joy ... or Fun?

Fun is chasing the moment; Joy arrives with certainty.

CHANEL S5018 (5018) SUNGLASSES

Sold for $1509.95 on ebay (item #160195457290)

160195457290

I'm ready for Playstation

Turok

Vantage Point

People been asking me, "So where's the best place to 'catch' all the action at this weekend's Bassmaster Classic?"

I'd have to say a firm answer is still up in the air.

Success 101

"The way to succeed is to double your error rate."
-Thomas J. Watson

President Bush in Tanzania

"DAR ES SALAAM, Tanzania (CNN) -- President George W. Bush signed a multi-million dollar aid deal with the government of Tanzania Sunday morning on the second stop of his five-nation tour of Africa.

The compact, agreed with Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete, will provide a $698 million Millennium Challenge grant to the nation. Bush's six-day tour of the continent is intended to stress U.S. initiatives to combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and poverty in the region.

Billboards and dancers wearing President Bush's likeness Saturday welcomed the U.S. leader and first lady Laura Bush to Tanzania Saturday.

Enthusiastic crowds lined the road from Dar es Salaam's airport to the hotel where the Bushes are staying. Billboards along the road expressed thanks to the president for anti-AIDS efforts and other U.S. help." - read full story

No, I'm fine thank you

Overheard during breakfast ...

A server wearing rubber gloves, carrying a bucket filled with cleaning supplies, approached the folks sitting at the booth beside me and said, "I gotta go clean the restroom. Can I get ya'll anything else?"

churchsportsbook.com?

-from today's Anderson Independent Mail:

"Anderson faith leaders don't see gambling as a possibility for their churches

ANDERSON COUNTY — Some Anderson faith leaders say they are wary of the chance that churches and nonprofits soon could be able to host card and casino nights to raise money.

A state Senate subcommittee has approved legislation that would exempt the two groups from South Carolina’s 200-year-old law that prohibits dice and card games."

Some faiths teach that tithing is an "old covenant" remnant and no longer applies to believers, which has lead some cash-crunched congregations to consider "alternative income streams" ... like gambling.

Wonder what we'd see first?

Bingo baptism services? Blackjack for Baptists? Dice for Christ? Slot machines in the vestibule? Fundamentalist Football parlay cards?

Ugh, seems like we don't mind parting with money ... so long as we're having double-down FUN! doing it.

sea change at Daytona?

Toyota Steals American Thunder During Daytona Qualifying ...

"DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. -- On a milestone day for Toyota, NASCAR's newest manufacturer, veteran drivers stole the show Thursday at Daytona International Speedway.

With a push from Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Tony Stewart, Denny Hamlin won the second Gatorade Duel 150 qualifying race for Sunday's Daytona 500 in a green-white-checkered-flag finish that took the event four laps beyond its posted distance. The victory for Toyota was the second for a foreign manufacturer in NASCAR's top series. Jaguar driver Al Keller won a road-course race in Linden, N.J., in 1954."

Race Lineup

1.	Jimmie Johnson	Chevrolet
2.	Michael Waltrip	Toyota
3.	Dale Earnhardt Jr.	Chevrolet
4.	Denny Hamlin	Toyota
5.	Reed Sorenson	Dodge
6.	Tony Stewart	Toyota
7.	Ryan Newman	Dodge
8.	Jeff Gordon	Chevrolet
9.	Casey Mears	Chevrolet
10.	Kasey Kahne	Dodge

-source

a living love letter

"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." -1 John 4:19-21


"You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." - II Corinthians 3:3-6

News that's new

Swiss bank UBS reports huge loss for 2007 after subprime debacle
"Swiss banking giant UBS said on Thursday it had suffered a net loss of 4.4 billion Swiss francs (4.0 billion dollars, 2.7 billion euros) in 2007 after losing billions in the US mortgage crisis.

The loss -- the bank's first-ever full-year loss -- compared to a profit of 12.3 billion Swiss francs in 2006 and was in line with forecasts." -source


Thai elephant at Sydney zoo pregnant
"Sydney's Taronga Zoo has officially announced the pregnancy of one its Asian elephants. The elephant is expected to give birth in June 2009.

The eight-year-old elephant, named Thong Dee, is one of four female elephants brought to Taronga Zoo from Thailand in 2005.

News of the pregnancy was leaked to the media, when Lee Rhiannon, an MP from the Greens Party, expressed concern the zoo had put the animal at risk by allowing her to get pregnant before reaching maturity.

Taronga Zoo denies the elephant is too young to reproduce, saying experts examined the female Asian elephants at the zoo last year and all were found to be healthy and fertile." - source


Saudi Arabia: Halt Woman’s Execution for ‘Witchcraft’
"(New York, February 14, 2008) – King Abdullah should halt the execution of Fawza Falih and void her conviction for “witchcraft,” Human Rights Watch said in a letter to the Saudi king.

"The religious police who arrested and interrogated Fawza Falih and the judges who tried her in the northern town of Quraiyat never gave her the opportunity to prove her innocence against absurd charges that have no basis in law.

“The fact that Saudi judges still conduct trials for unprovable crimes like ‘witchcraft’ underscores their inability to carry out objective criminal investigations,” said Joe Stork, Middle East director at Human Rights Watch. “Fawza Falih’s case is an example of how the authorities failed to comply even with existing safeguards in the Saudi justice system.” -source


Zimbabwe's inflation surges to 66,000 per cent
"HARARE (AFP) — Zimbabwe's inflation rate, already the highest in the world, has soared to a new high of 66,212.3 percent, according to official figures obtained by AFP on Thursday.

""This means that prices as measured by the all items CPI, increased by an average 66,212.3 percent between December 2006 and December 2007." -source


Shanghaiese Symbol for LOST:

失

Gossip Hound

No one enjoys being the subject of gossip, but sometimes the dirt blows back in the most doggone directions.

Coupla years ago the girl I was dating came by after work and told me, "I ran into So-and-So today, and she said she saw you driving down Clemson Boulevard this afternoon with your daughter."

The girl I was dating continued, "When I told So-and-So you didn't have a daughter, So-and-So's eyes started bulging in their sockets.

"Well," So-and-So confided, "The girl I saw was riding in the front seat and had long blond hair so I just assumed it was Joe's daughter.'" Implying something else, of course, which is what gossips do.

A few days later, we introduced So-and-So to my "daughter" ....

Guys, avoid self-destructing on Valentine's Day

-humor

Word up, dude. You may think a woman loves reading a bunch of goo when she opens her Valentine card, but choose the words you write very carefully ... and don't scribble down the first thing that pops in your head just because it sounds romantic.

There's sweet-sounding lines that'll backfire & kill romance faster than ketchup stains a new white shirt. Some fool-hardy examples include:

- Seems like ages ago, but I remember you were hot when we first met

- I wonder what's going on inside your head. Probably nothing, but ...

- You're the one I think about spending my life with any time we're together

- Even a loser could see there's something special about you

- I've learned not to dwell on the past, and promise to quit bringing it up

- I don't know what I did to deserve this

- I hope you never catch me doing anything that makes you mistrust me

And please, avoid this next one at all possible cost:

- It's like I've known you my entire life, probably because you remind me of my mom


Hope everybody has The Valentine's Day they've been dreaming about! xxx ooo xxx, swak, etc.

It's the smallest son of arboreal pterosaur

"A tiny, toothless pterodactyl with bat-like wings, bird-like claws and a sharp, pointy beak has just been identified from a remarkably well-preserved Chinese fossil, according to a paper published today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences." -source

Batteries not included?

The Cheapest Car in the World

The Tata Nano

4-Door Hatchback
Distributed In India
98,094 Rupees; $2,497

The Nano is a pet project of Ratan Tata, chairman of India-based Tata Motors, who imagined a low-cost vehicle that could safely transport a family in India who otherwise couldn't afford a car. It is about 10 feet long and five feet wide. The 2-cylinder petrol engine delivers 33 horsepower and a top speed of just over 60 mph. The basic model has no radio, air-conditioning or air bags, but it does have seat belts and a catalytic converter to reduce air pollution, and it gets 50 miles to the gallon. It meets all current safety and emissions requirements in India, and will be ready for market later this year. - Forbes

it's the little things that count

Did ya know that "Something," "Wonderful Tonight" and "Layla" were all written about the same woman?

Pattie Boyd

Ok guys ... so what're you doing for your sweetie on Thursday? Say.

So true, sadly

-from Tuesday's "What's Wrong With This Guy Anyway?" Department:


I was still half-asleep this morning when I reached under my head to re-arrange the pillow. Thing is, I grabbed the back of my hoodie instead.

I figured this out after about 5 minutes.

Acts of Obedience and Reverence

-satire

Being Totally Religious: Lesson #4
How should believers act around non-believers? More importantly, how should believers act in church? Often it's easy to tell where a believer's heart is simply by how he or she acts.

Start by studying these Acting Lessons.

Acting Obedient Around Non-believers:
1. Act Stern when meeting strangers. There's no better indication of your self-righteousness than a frown to let others know "Something's wrong with you." Sneer, as required
2. Act Superior by making dagger eyes, then stare & scowl at their clothes. People who dress poorly reflect badly on the entire congregation and can only deflate how others measure your importance
3. Act Busy by ignoring church visitors: besides, they're likely to be sinners
4. Act Indignant by wincing and snorting before answering questions. This lets sinners know you're offended by their faults & weaknesses
5. Act Suspicious or Betrayed when confronting new situations and challenges. What you don't already know is obviously unimportant anyway

Reverence in Church: keeping up the act
1. Act tired and fatigued, to let others know you've been busy doing the Lord's business
2. Act generous, to make sure your voice gets heard first at Budget Meetings
3. Act reverent and morose, because no matter how hard others may try to be perfect, they can only disappoint you
4. Act as though nothing's ever good enough, but be patient before voicing your opinion; everybody knows they'll hear it eventually anyway
5. Act like you have the church's best interests at heart; it's the best way to get exactly what you want without others catching on

Going Deeper (really deeper) [fixed broken demo video link]

Come on, you know you want one ...
The VideoRay Deep Blue Submersible Robot
"The VideoRay Deep Blue is ideally suited for deep missions. The Deep Blue can easily accommodate modular instrumentation and tools such as: scanning imaging sonar for low visibility environments; manipulator for object retrieval or intervention; positioning system for exhaustive area searches; water quality sensor, metal thickness gauge, and more. The Tether Deployment System (TDS) is included for quick coiling and recoiling of the tether." $46,500

-view demo video
-VideoRay web site

Hold on tight

-from today's "Ouch, But I'm Sure It Only Looks Painful" Department:

Here's a youtube clip of several different guys firing a 577 Tyrannosaur rifle at an indoor range.

The 577 T-Rex is one of the hardest-kicking rifles around ... about like having a 160-lb weight free-fall into your shoulder ... and most of the "victims" appear to have no idea what's in store.

Enjoy :-)

My favorite Pharisee

4: 21 AM

... is the one who says "Rules and traditions define who I am and what my faith means. My religion's rules and traditions cease being man-made soon as they become important and sentimental to me."

Like, huh?

"What's the best way to make sure my faith fits all my needs?"

Breaking News

-from the "News That'll Never Happen" Department:

God Uncertain Regarding Election Outcome
Expressing concern over latest primary results, Creator calls mud-throwing, name-calling and back-room intrigue His candidate's "best chance" for victory.

Selfishness Pays ... with interest [improved & super-updated]

"We deserve ours ... and all you other people can get in line behind us and wait till we're done."

The US is the greatest country on earth, right? The rest of the world is jealous, and that's why they hate Americans. Americans enjoy the highest standard of living and are the wealthiest people in the world, right?
Wrong ... in fact, the US isn't even close.

Standard of Living
1. Norway
2. Sweden
3. Canada
4. Belgium
5. Australia
6. United States
7. Iceland
8. Netherlands
9. Japan
10. Finland
-source

Snoozing in The American Dream Land
-U.S. students scored lower on science/literacy than their peers in 16 of the other 29 OECD jurisdictions and 6 of the 27 non-OECD [Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development] jurisdictions - source

-The US ranks #21 in Litericy (behind Armenia and Barbados)

-The US is the world's largest debtor nation.
"In recent years, the US trade deficit has reached roughly 6% of the GDP, a level former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker calls unsustainable." -wiki

-Every US citizen owes the federal government $$30,378.80 (babies and children are citizens, so figure about $79,000 per taxpayer). "Poor" countries like China and India are lending money to the US to service its debt)
Check out the National Debt Clock here.

-The second most expensive item in the US budget (after Defense spending) is paying interest on the national debt ... more than $1 billion per day in 2006. (NASA's annual budget is about $15 billion per year)

-Though accounting for only 5 percent of the world's population, Americans consume 26 percent of the world's energy -more energy info here

-The US ranks #45 in both Life Expectancy and Suicide Rates

---
I'm not crossing the line into politics, but look at today's headlines.

I hope it's not s sign of things to come that OPEC and other global oil suppliers, worried about the shrinking value of the dollar, might start asking to be paid in currencies other than dollars. Or that Great Britain is mussing with the idea of "constructive accommodation" with Islamic Shariah law.

Meanwhile Congress borrows another $168 billion to stimulate the world's greatest consumers into spending themselves even further into debt.

Don't get me wrong: Americans enjoy tremendous political freedom and have greater economic opportunity than any country in the world. Still I wonder if the US is the greatest country on earth ... or maybe just the most selfish.

I guess we'll find out when the bills come due.

"I remember a time when churches made it their business to ..."

"... make sure folks in the community behaved and started acting right. If the churches can't do that, then why on earth do we bother keeping the doors open in the first place?

"We gotta stand up right now and do something publicly to protest against liquor, adult book stores, pornography, TV programming, rock music, public health clinics, Sports Illustrated, local government, The Olson Twins, flu shots and fluoride, tight jeans and orange hair dye, the political party I disagree with, karaoke ... and especially folks who own cats should have to keep them leashed and licensed, too."



Time spent obsessing on man-made problems is time lost toward pursuing God's solution.

"Pity the Poor Pharisees"

5:34 AM
Did the Pharisees get the short end of the spiritual stick? I mean, just think about it for a minute.

In the New Testament the Pharisees were a strict sect of Rabis whose compulsive devotion to rules and traditions might be politely described as obsessive.

But the Pharisees grew up religiously going to temple and "only doing the best they could," staying busy trying to be very strict and religious, to earn God's favor. Then, through no earthly fault of their own, Christ arrived on the scene ... and overturned their legalistic apple cart.

So how were they to know God made His own plans instead?

Oh my ... here they'd devoted their entire lives to publicly proving their piety, but still somehow managed to get it all wrong. How were the poor Pharisees, who loved rules SO MUCH, to know the rules had changed? How had their hard work, Legalism and traditions managed to fail them?

----
The Pharisees rejected Christ because they loved & worshiped what was safe and familiar, Legalism, instead of the living God. Which caused the Pharisees to miss recognizing the Messiah when he stood in the flesh before them. Their laws had become legal bars wedged so tightly together that their own rules kept them from seeing outside the cells of their spiritual captivity.

The Pharisees didn't love the Spirit; they loved their self-importance. They also loved emphasizing their OBLIGATION to force others to respect their self-righteousness.

Shoot, not even the light got inside the Pharisees' man-made reformatory.

Here's a story-book ending to the story ...
The best part for 21st-century believers is that after witnessing the Resurrection the Pharisees realized their man-made errors, apologized for all the confusion, Rules n' Traditions they'd created, and went voluntarily extinct (taking their R n' T music with them).

I mean, can you imagine what churches would be like today if the Pharisees had quietly escaped from the temples ... and slipped into modern-day pews, committees and the blog-o-sphere instead?

more annoying add-ons

"Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow."

-But blog to put off doing all three, haha.

"To achieve lasting literature, fictional or factual, a writer needs perceptive vision, absorptive capacity, and creative strength. "

-I'd settle for remembering "Righty tighty, lefty loosey."

"We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing much of our routine work. Printing is no longer the only way of reproducing books. Reading them, however, has not changed. "

-And reading will remain the easiest part of writing.

(all quotes from Lawrence Clark Powell)

the post I almost wrote ...

was gonna be about the nerve of some people.

See, there was a new guy here at The Breakfast Place who talks way too loud and has way too much fun to be taking his job seriously (which, as you know, can be disruptive and distracting when you're online and trying to eat ... while buried under the crushing burden of trying to stay caught up on Facebook).

This dude had the audacity to call his daughter on the phone, in front of everybody, and sing her a roof-shaking Happy Birthday for her sixth birthday.

Then, cringe, he had the nerve to come over and actually start talking to me. One on one. Telling me about his life and goals and stuff. I could hardly get a word in edge-wise.

Turns out he goes to Redemption. Turns out their message last night came from Galatians.

Turns out new friends can show up when you're least expecting it ... and I learn a lot from posts that don't get written.

borrowed

-from the "Humor, Hopefully" Department:

Yesterday a friend's blog included a post titled 5 Weird Facts. Here's 5 of my own ...

- Sometimes I still count using my fingers
- I watch movies without ever knowing the characters' names (I gotta see faces to follow the plot)
- I get uneasy every time something familiar becomes "New & Improved! or Updated"
- Everything tastes better with Texas Pete
- I can't decide whether I'd rather have:
cat whiskers, or compound eyes
grasshopper legs, or twin USB ports for nostrils
my hair replaced with outdoor carpet, or feathers

Pickfordese

"It would have been more logical if silent pictures had grown out of the talkies instead of the other way around."

"Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo."

"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."

-Mary Pickford

Hey ... can I get some answers about my life, please?

"Prayer is fine for some people, but other times I need advice from a living person with a face about what to do and where to go with my life."

You mean like ...




and least of all ...

Start acting like a Christian!

8:56 AM

Gimme that Old Time Religion--- It's Good Enough For me*

"Accepting Christ is just the first part of salvation, but you gotta do YOUR part by being obedient. Being obedient means following the rules ... and acting like a Christian.

"So what are the basic rules about being Religious and ACTING Like A Christian?

1. That means going to church 3 times in a week (one with stained glass windows and a steeple)
2. That means worshiping (with 18th century hymns, choir robes, an organ & cantatas)
3. That means being reverent (by dressing up in your best coat n' tie)
4. That means praying (especially when others are within ear shot)
5. That means witnessing to others (except when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient)
6. That means abstaining from alcohol and sexual sins (in public)
7. That means walking upright (so it's easier to look down on others)
8. That means not swearing (but cursing with words that rhyme with profanity is legally OK)
9. That means being religious and living apart from the world (by being pious, self-righteous, arrogant and condescending)
10. That means reading the Bible (assumed when you're spotted toting one around in the vestibule on Sunday mornings)
11. That means sharing freely with others (especially your anger, opinions and advice)
12. That means serving (publicly for acclaim, and on committees)
13. That means standing by your principles (and waiting for others to apologize & ask for forgiveness first)
14. That means not seeking revenge (unless the opportunity presents itself)
15. That means creating more n' more rules (so others can be inspired & follow your example)."



-and that's what counts

Urgency vs Heaven can wait

Funny how prayers for the things I want can be riddled with wide-eyed urgency ... like "Heavenly Father, I can't wait ... let my will be done!"

Because my time-scale becomes much more laid-back & patient when it comes to answering "Your will be done."

Exactly

The other day I heard that the minister at a local community outreach program had serious misgivings about "recommending" our church to the folks he served.

His explanation was that "Their pastor doesn't take religion seriously."

Ah ... wasn't that the key point of Christ's message, after all?

- - -
"I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" - Galatians 3:2-3

Blood Sucking Leeches

If you feel safe, comfortable and satisfied at your church then give this message a listen.

ps. Where did the "feel good church" thing come from anyway?

What's that in the lake, a duck?

Are ya tired of reading my long-winded boat stories?

You should be there when they're happening in real-life: I'm especially tired of living them.

I pulled up the anchor this morning and decided to circle the unfamiliar little island before heading back, so I'd be more familiar next time out.

So then I see a duck about thirty feet ahead, slightly off to the right. But as I get closer the duck shows no indication of moving. When I'm about 20 feet away I realize it ain't no duck.

It's the top of a tree.

Never mind that the depth finder indicated there was 35 feet of water underneath me: the lake's down almost 20 feet and all sorts of stuff that's been submerged for 40 years has started rearing up from the bottom. I jerked both engines into reverse and crept backwards like a blind mouse right outta there.

Well, I'm sure I had a point when I started ... I'm just glad it's not protruding through the bottom of the hull.

Seems like there's always seams somewhere

8:23 AM
-same GPS coordinates

It's raining hard right now and I'm pleasantly surprised Calypso's 24-year old canvas top is keeping 99% of the water out.

A 99% success rate sounds pretty good ... except that it's 47 degrees outside and a 47 degree body-bath don't feel good.

Funny how leaks seem to show up most often near seams in the fabric, hmmm.

UFO over Lake Hartwell

7:05 am
N 34 29.65
W 082 48.471

Ok that was weird.

I anchored out last night near an unnamed island. Then a few minutes before dawn this morning I glanced out Calypso's port port (left window) just in time to see a bright, pulsing white light streak across the sky.

It's impossible to estimate an object's size and speed without knowing its distance, but what I saw was too low and way too fast to be an airplane: it moved through a 90-degree field of view in about 6 seconds ... in other words it would've appeared at one horizon and disappeared at the other in about 12 seconds.

Whoa.

I jumped to the helm for a better look before the light totally disappeared from sight ... and immediately encountered the unexpected: the light was attached to a radio tower on shore and towers don't fly,

The light appeared to be moving at an incredible speed because Calypso was pivoting counter-clockwise on her anchor line.

So there ya go. Boats move; radio towers not so much. End of mystery.

Sorry to report there were no flying saucers diving to their secret base at the bottom of Lake Hartwell, no little green men in silver suits stealing cattle, no lurid tale of abduction by extraterrestrials, not even a telepathic robot instructing me to "Take me to your leader."

But I'm still pretty sure I did see Oprah's face in an oatmeal cookie once.


From Monday's "What's that got to do with anything?" Department

Last night when I arrived the lake was smooth as glass. Shoot, conditions were so calm that once I was on course I literally didn't have to touch the wheel the whole way out.

Well, the weather forecast said conditions would change overnight and they did: right now there's a combination of wind and current trying to push Calypso backwards toward the shallows.

Precisely where I don't want her to go because rocks, stumps, jagged roots and who knows what other nasties lurking down there would eagerly disrespect her integrity and thoughtlessly punch unwelcome holes in her bottom.

Thank goodness her anchor is solid. Thank goodness her anchor's still holding.

Why are boats named after women anyway?
Calypso would rather be GOING than sitting still and she's letting me know she's restless & morose by twisting n' groaning against her anchor. That's her way of pouting & saying she'd rather be making waves in public with her throttles open and the wind in her face and she thinks her anchor is weighing her down.

She can't grasp that her anchor's there for a reason: to keep her safe and afloat in the worst possible conditions.

At least from my perspective that means Calypso's anchor is also her most dependable friend.

I fought the Giants... c[orrectred]

I thought the Giants were playing the Baltimore Patriots. listen

Powered by Jott

Luke-Warm Coffeewalker

"Starbucks said it will close 100 underperforming U.S. stores, or roughly 1% of its current coffee shops, by the end of September. It also cut the pace of new store openings by 425 outlets for fiscal 2008. Starbucks currently operates more than 11,160 U.S. stores.

“By reducing the number of openings, we expect to optimize our resources and potentially reduce cannibalization of our existing stores,” founder and CEO Howard Schultz said.

McDonald’s has moved onto Starbucks’ turf in the past year, selling new coffee, undercutting Starbucks on price, and installing coffee baristas. Recently, Starbucks started testing $1 coffee and free refills at a few of its locations in Seattle." - source

"The company's characteristically high growth rate showed signs of fatigue last year, unnerving investors, who sold off the stock. Shares are down 43% over the past year." - source


OK so I still buy mine at the grocery store, by the 1-lb pre-ground bag.

The Runaway Baptist?

"Novelist John Grisham said it is time for Baptists to stop reading the Bible with so-called narrow literalness and celebrate diversity."
-source

Locard's exchange principle

"Locard was the director of the very first crime laboratory in existence, located in Lyon, France.

" Locard's exchange principle states that 'with contact between two items, there will be an exchange' (Thornton, 1997).

"Essentially Locard's principle is applied to crime scenes in which the perpetrator(s) of a crime comes into contact with the scene, so he will both bring something into the scene and leave with something from the scene. Every contact leaves a trace.

"An easier way to remember this is that 'Every Contact Leaves a Trace.'"
-wiki

word up

fac·ile \'fa-səl\ adj [MF, fr. L facilis, fr. facere to do — more at do] (15c)
1 a (1): easily accomplished or attained ‹a ~ victory› (2): shallow simplistic‹b : used or comprehended with ease c : readily manifested and often lacking sincerity or depth
-from Merriam Webster Dictionary and Thesaurus



Rules, traditions and legalism are much more facile than faith.

boldly going, etc etc

From the "Friday Fone Fun" iDepartment:


So it's not really a Tricorder - but don't tell iSpock.

Just beam me up before the ibattery runs down.

Disclaimer: Some of my best friends use Macs.

words count

This morning I did a search through the New Testament (NIV) for the word "Encourage" and counted 36 hits.

The Book of Acts contained the most instances with 10. Then I looked for "Joy" too and found about 70 hits.

But "Love" was the clear & inevitable winner, with about 257.

Then I searched for "Scold" but Scold wasn't there. Not in either the Old or the New Testament. Neither was "Retaliation," "Sarcastic," "Demean," "Browbeat" or "Condescend." Not anywhere.

Hmmm. Can't find those words anywhere in Scripture ... so what're they doing written inside my heart?

Christ woulda liked what I like

"My style of worship.
My style of music.
My style of dress.
My style of haircut.
My style of Biblical translation.
My style of politics.
My style of religion.

I believe in Christ because he was just like me."

Cloverfield

Loved it.

what's the problem?

-What's up?
I got this big problem in my life ... and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

-Have you talked to talked to a Godly person about it?
No, it's none of their business.

-Have you prayerfully consulted Scripture?
No, I don't have time.

-Have you asked Christ to take total control of your life?
No, come on. I don't believe all that "Christ is Alive" stuff.


That's the problem.

Pilotage

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

3. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

4. The propeller is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

5. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

6. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

7. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

8. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

9. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

10. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal.

Wanna Cannoli?

I gotta try it: Cannoligram of New York.

Monkey Business

-from Tony Zappone at Wikipedia

"Early in 1964, Zappone was monitoring local police frequencies and overheard a Florida Highway Patrolman requesting a sergeant after he pulled over a chimpanzee driving a compact convertible for speeding on Interstate 4 just east of Tampa.

He rushed to grab a ride with another newsman and arrived in time to photograph the lawman issuing the chimp a citation for speeding and having no driver's license. Subsequently, charges against "Cappy" the chimp were dropped after a Hillsborough County judge ruled no infraction had occurred because at that time there was no requirement in Florida law that chimpanzees have licenses to drive.

Zappone was later commissioned by NBC Productions, Inc. to shoot film footage of Cappy driving around the Tampa area for later use on that network's The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.

During the shoot, he was injured when the animal bit unrelentingly into his right hand during a stop at a downtown Tampa intersection and refused to let go until the light turned green 30 seconds later."

The funniest thing I heard all week

Fran was driving, we'd been trapped in the parking lot of some shopping center on Woodruff Road doing helpless circles for about 15 minutes trying to find an exit.

We were talking about the differences between flying and driving and I said, "Ya know with an auto-pilot, the only thing you really have to worry about is the landing."

Fran kinda shrugged and said, "Joe Hall I'm a sky diver ... so landings don't scare me."

Singing Bulldogs, Crying Poodles

Walking across the Marina City parking lot tonight I spied a a big black pit bull sitting at the tailgate of the pickup truck parked beside me. As I strolled by my eyes locked in on his and I realized he'd seen me long before I'd spotted him.

Nothing happened, nothing at all.

That dog was a pure-T all-out 4-legged BAD MAN. But he seemed 100% bored, as if he was used to biting through engine blocks and outdrives in his spare time ... and yours truly didn't amount to much of a distraction.

The next SUV I passed had a blond cocker-poodle wearing a designer sweater lurking inside on the back seat: even though the windows were rolled up tight Mr. Poo lurched for me, enthusiastically launching at the window and resonating with rabid barks accompanied by a bright flashing of his pearly doggy-orthodontist maintained snappers.

The Poo was having a mood swing, and angrily let me know I didn't belong near his Blazer ... and announced that I'd probably wrinkled his new sweater just by walking past.

Somehow I think there was more than a thin glass window's worth of difference between them.

HAVE YOU SEEN TODAY'S NEWS?!!!!

-from the "Headlines We'll Never See" Department:

God Caught Off-Guard:
Creator urges calm pending full investigation

a short list for Saturday

From where I live there's simply no easy way to get anywhere from here.

Like, it's a 70-mile round trip to get a haircut and a15-mile round trip to check my mail. So I don't do either one very often.

Thus, on the drive to the post office this morning I started counting how many churches I passed along the way ... but forgot about that when I tried memorizing the portable church signs instead.

Here's 4 I remember:

1. It Takes Dirt to Make A Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill
2. Some People Are Anxious to Serve God - As Advisers
3. Jesus Love You and So Do We*
4. Try Less Self Control and More God Control

* Earlier in the week this same sign read "God Loves Your $ And So Do We." I figure that one had to be a late-night practical joker's mischief, right?

the king's clothes

There Will Be Blood.

Overlaying incongruent, sloppily directed scenes with atonal music = an absurdly poor excuse for film-making.

There Will Be Boredom

Just got back from seeing "There Will Be Blood" in Gville with Fran.

TWBB has received more stars at IMDB.com than either The Godfather, Citizen Kane, or The Godfather Part II so I was very anxious to see it.* Ok so I missed something.

Like, why they bothered.

Call me dense; now let's eat.


* check out all these awards.

incommunicado

I'm in the lobby of a hotel in downtown Gville while Fran's at a job interview in the same facility, but my phone is back on the boat in the pocket of the jacket I forgot to bring.

Times like this make me wish I could Twitter. But then you need a phone for that too, right?

All SHook UP

Chris W. said I should see Cloverfield; after reading this I'm more anxious than ever.

Remind me to keep repeating, "It's just a movie, it's just a movie." And to bring some Dramamine along just in case.

I hate movie lists

Top 10 Most Influential Films of All Time (decided by me)

Top-Ranked Films of the Past 10 Years (determined by New York film critics)

Best Films Ever (voted by LA movie reviews)

Highest Grossing Films of All Time (in US dollars)

Best Foreign Film Dubbed in English

Highest Grossing Films of All Time (adjusted for inflation)

Top 20 Unfinished Films

Top 10 Films with the Longest Waiting Lines

Top 5 Films Lost to History

Top 20 Films You've Never Seen

Top 10 Films Never Released


eeeh, the artificial lists and rankings go on and on.

Attention Film & Video Bosses, Experts, Gurus and Pretenders

How many of the top 10 (of the Top 250) Films of all time (as selected by IMDB.com users) have you seen?

Top 250 movies as voted by our users

For this top 250, only votes from regular voters are considered.

Rank	Rating	Title	Votes
1.	9.1	The Godfather (1972)	257,044
2.	9.1	The Shawshank Redemption (1994)	303,921
3.	9.0	The Godfather: Part II (1974)	147,230
4.	8.9	Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)	83,040
5.	8.8	Pulp Fiction (1994)	261,221
6.	8.8	Schindler's List (1993)	175,720
7.	8.8	One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)	130,991
8.	8.8	Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)	185,944
9.	8.8	Casablanca (1942)	115,600
10.	8.8	Shichinin no samurai (1954)	64,516

I'm a movie moron, and thoroughly disagree with the IMDB list.

In a mob, maybe

"The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people."
-President Woodrow Wilson

You Don't Have to be Broke!

Joe Sangl's book is finally here!

-from Joe's web site:

"In this book, I share how my family stopped being broke and won with money. While telling my family's story, I teach the actual tools that we used and still use to this day!

More than anything else, this is a book of HOPE. I know that you CAN do this! I know that you CAN win with money! I know that you do not have to be a straight-A student to win with money (that's really good news for me!).

You CAN break free of financial bondage and win with money. This book was written to show you HOW to do so in a PRACTICAL way!

If you are looking for theory or philosophy, this is the wrong book. If you are looking for immediate help to take your finances to the next level, this is the right book!"

Joe's book can be purchased here.

Seen tonight's forecast?

38° F | 12° F
3° C | -11° C

No no no, not Relativism again

"Every religion says their way is the only way, but there are no universal, absolute truths because everything's relative."

-How can you say that?

"Because it's true."

-You're saying it's true that there are no universal, absolute truths because everything's relative?"

"Exactly. That's how I know all religions are the same."

-And you're sure what you're saying is true?

-Absolutely.

Wow.

Sorry, I didn't recognize you in here without a tie

The other afternoon I was sitting in Fran's car while she used my lap top to do some work-related stuff on the web.

Suddenly I remembered how much water I'd had at lunch ... and there I was on the marina restaurant's parking lot. U-r-g-e-n-c-y rhymes with EMERGENCY and well, you get the idea.

The restaurant didn't open for another 90 minutes but with no other option I ducked inside.

I know (by a first name anyway) 99% of the nice folks who work there, but the point of re-telling this mundane story is that I had trouble recognizing most of them: without uniforms, still dressed in their "casual clothes," they looked so different from the folks I knew.

Entirely different; a simple necktie and button-down shirt can make someone seem familiar when they're totally not.

Man I can be so shallow sometimes, even when I think I'm paying attention.

My daughter's first date ...

... would never happen. Period. Here's why:

Picture some 16-year old guy showing up at night to pick up your daughter for a date.

See, he's gonna take her out ... away from your house ... and drive her around in a car. You trust him to behave and have her home by 11 PM.

Guess that's OK because that's part of "Dating."

Now imagine the same 16-year old guy shows up at your house but instead of leaving with your daughter, you entrust him with your bank cards, the deed to your house, the title to your car and oh, yeah ... your entire life's savings, in cash ... asking only that he bring everything back safely by 11 PM,

Nobody'd do that.

Nobody in their right mind would trust a 16-year old to assume responsibility for their most important material assets, not even for an hour. Yet a daughter is infinitely more valuable than a house or any amount of cash.

Without even mentioning that a daughter is irreplaceable.

Call me old fashioned, call me a dinosaur. Just promise you'll call me if you're gonna be home after 11.

time cRunCh

Wow there's never enough time to fit in all the things that are unimportant and ultimately don't mattermuchtoanyoneelse is there

super SUPER bowl rivals

Rival tribes clash with machetes

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -- Clashes between rival tribes armed with machetes and bows and arrows on Friday marked the third successive day of opposition protests over Kenya's disputed presidential election.

Soldiers and protesters clash in Mombasa.

1 of 3

With more than 20 people killed since Wednesday, the opposition announced a new strategy of economic boycotts and strikes to ratchet up pressure.

The U.S. ambassador, citing "many factors and underlying grievances," compared Kenya's violence to the 1968 race riots in the United States.

At a town hall meeting for Americans in Nairobi, Ambassador Michael Ranneberger said there was "a lot of cheating on both sides" in the December 27 elections that pitted President Mwai Kibaki against opposition leader Raila Odinga.

Kibaki insists he won the election, but international and local observers say the vote count was rigged. Kibaki's power has become more entrenched and he appears unlikely to accede to demands he step down.

The opposition's best hope may rest in wrangling a power-sharing agreement that might make Odinga prime minister or vice president.

Who's gonna preach my Super Bowl funeral?

I keep hearing this: "I couldn't go to a Super Bowl-sized church because I have no way of knowing who'd preach at my funeral."

OK.

#1. When the time comes, you won't know either

#2. You don't know who's gonna be playing in next year's Super Bowl ... or if there'll even be a Super Bowl

#3. Heaven nain't neer nough ferye?

Part 2

I Want to go to a church where the preacher knows my name and acknowledges my contributions

Yup yup, I'm quite sure ... but if a persecution started, would ya want similar recognition and attention from the folks anxious to start the crucifixion line?

What church should I be at?

Picking a church can be hard; let's run down the list:

This one's too big, this one is boring, I like dressing up, I don't like dressing up, that one's a clique, that one's too strict, they don't have a choir, I had a problem with that preacher when I was growing up, they play songs that don't come from the Bible, I don't get fed, I get asked to do too much, that church is a cult, they don't have Sunday School, I don't like the music, they don't preach from the Bible, they take the Bible too literally, they let men wear hats in church, they'll expect me to tithe, they don't oppose Halloween, all the members are hypocrites, they don't have Bingo, they didn't support mandatory pet neutering, nobody cares what I say, everybody there acts like they're big shots, the music is too loud, they have Bingo, I saw one of their members stopped at a red light outside an adult book store after dark, everybody there gossips, it all depends on how much you give, the pastor doesn't know my name, the pastor's always preaching right at ME, the air-conditioner blows on my face and I heard their pastor preaches naked. So where am I supposed to go?

Hmmm, I dunno ... what'd the Holy Spirit say last time you asked?

Treasure Hunting

8:32 AM
As a kid growing up on Florida's Gulf coast I remember being fascinated with pirates ... the buccaneers who'd roamed the Caribbean hundred of years before, preying on treasure-laden galleons sailing from Mexico back to Spain.

The house where we lived was built on an island; to a seven-year-old it seemed likely that Jose Gaspar himself could have left a treasure chest buried no further away than the backyard.

Stop being an adult for a minute and think about it: a treasure beyond description might lie just a few feet away, but where? Somewhere in the back yard? Under the patio? But what if it lay buried under the garage- how would you get to it then?

I KNEW buried treasure was close but how would I know where to start looking, unless I had a map?

-I asked my folks; no map came with the house when they bought it.
-I couldn't find any library books that mentioned a pirate treasure being buried anywhere near my house.
-I consulted school friends to brainstorm their ideas (after swearing them to secrecy, naturally) about where to look.

During times when "Knowing Where to Look" seemed hopeless I regained my enthusiasm by imagining all the things I'd buy once the treasure was mine.

I didn't wanna give up the idea that there were riches waiting nearby, a treasure so close I might literally be sleeping on top of it. But I always ended up stumped, perplexed about what to do next.

Because no matter how much I believed or how overwhelming my enthusiasm became, I simply had no idea where to start digging.


Gee, my childish visions of treasure hunting start sounding a lot like mainstream religion.

The Jolly Roger & The Cross
A mysterious man arrived a long time ago with a treasure. He left the treasure behind and then went away again, abandoning his followers and leaving precious few clues beyond a dusty, ancient map, about "the right way" to find his treasure.

Too often we see believers acting and living their lives just that way: as if Christ left us marooned on a desert island to suffer and muddle through on our own, despite having promised his treasure lies waiting ... if only He'd left us more clues to get us on track so we could finally find it and be sure.

Dead Men Tell No Tales: what we need is a Southern Buccaneer Clue Convention
Convinced that Christ returned to Heaven (awaiting the Rapture as a sour-faced recluse) and took all the clues with Him, many groups of believers created their own clues ... complete with "treasure maps" describing and pointing to the booty ... yet none of the man-made maps seem to agree on how to find the treasure, much less on a common compass heading ... many insisting instead that they alone possess the clues belonging to "the one true map."

Others go so far as to argue that the treasure is exclusively theirs (which explains, I guess, why they intend to keep it guarded so jealously), so looking outside the auspices of their convention is useless.

Yet, to outsiders, do these tight-fisted believers reveal any hint of living treasure-filled lives? Or do they seem more concerned with greedily keeping the treasure hoarded and hidden from view ... instead of sharing their unearned riches?

Yo ho ho and a stained glass window ... Walking the Man-made Plank
There's at least one INFINITE difference between hunting for pirates' treasure and seeking Heavenly treasure: it's too late for treasure hunters to call upon Jose Gaspar, or Blackbeard or Captain Kidd for guidance finding the treasure, because none of them have done much communicating in the past four hundred years.

The map to Heavenly treasure, on the other hand, comes with a 24x7 Help Line ... and unlimited lifetime support.