What good is English? [Russian translation]

Здесь на голубой книге, мы стремимся управлять ясно политических аргумента и аргумент.

Голубая книга знает разницу между неправильны и право, и принимает вы делает, слишком. Вы приходите к голубой книге когда будет временем пнуть назад, извлекайте ваши ботинки, сидеть пожаром и ослабить, удобной знающ вас уже делали отдельно мир с внешним миром.

Голубая книга будет нашей кабиной каникула в стержн-drevesinax.

[ОДОБРЕНО, ровно я получаю снесенным прочь иногда]

В лубом случае, как-то устанавливать английскую язык как "официальныйа язык США" состязательн. Некоторые говорят будет здравыйа смысл, другие говорят он расистск.

Английская язык вероятно не будет обнята как официальныйа язык США в любое время скоро. Вероятно всегда. Тем временем, здесь немного стран которые делают:

Belize
Ботсвана
Южная
Африка
Танзания
Тринидад и Тобаго
Зимбабве
Hong Kong
Индии
Кении
Намибии
Нигерии
Philippines
Singapore
Южная Африка

Английская язык не может быть очень хороша здесь в США, но вокруг мира 402 миллиона говорят их, и только китайско и Hindi имейте больше говорящия на родном языке.

Потому что книга сини любит свой отдел читателей для всех вы фонологические вентиляторы истории, здесь будет заклепывать обзором разделения Поглощать-vanny.

What good is English?

Here at The Blue Book, we strive to steer clear of political argument and debate.

The Blue Book knows the difference between what's wrong and what's right, and assumes you do, too. You come to The Blue Book whenever it's time to kick back, take off your shoes, sit by the fire and relax, comfortable knowing you've already made a separate peace with the outside world.

The Blue Book is our getaway cabin in the web-woods.

[OK, even I get carried away sometimes]

Anyway, somehow establishing English as the "official language of the USA" is controversial. Some say it's common sense, others say it's racist.

English probably won't be embraced as the official language of the USA any time soon. Probably not ever. In the meantime, here's a few countries that do:

Belize
Botswana
Hong Kong
India
Kenya
Namibia
Nigeria
Philippines
Singapore
South Africa
Tanzania
Trinidad and Tobago
Zimbabwe

English may not be much good here in the USA, but around the world 402 million speak it, and only Chinese and Hindi have more native speakers.

Because The Blue Book Loves Its Readers Department
For all you phonological history fans, here's a riveting overview of The Trap-bath Split.

If Dogs Could Talk

People who've grown especially close to their dogs report having frequent dreams about their pets, including life-like episodes in which their faithful companion suddenly has the ability to talk and express its feelings.

Here's a few things Luke's said in mine:

How come we gotta watch what you wanna watch all the time?

No, why? Do you need to go outside?

Walking around naked all the time is highly over-rated.

Hey! What're you doing in my water bowl?

Not Slamming the Geek

I always look forward to finding the latest X-treme geek catalog waiting in the mailbox.

X-treme geek has a catalog of innovative gadgets and cool tools for those of us who live with one hand glued to a mouse and the other to a hot key.

Most of their products are really awesome ... like a turntable with a USB cable so you can dub your old LPs directly to your hard drive

Here's a Wi-Fi radio that plays web music without requiring any connection to a PC (I'm not sure if Macs can log-on to the web, connect to a network, play music ... or boot-up without crashing).


But a few others left me laughing with the visuals ...

Ipod Illuminated Earbud Cords

Yeah, so you're wearing your illuminated earbud cables next time you're out dancing ... and suddenly Homeland Security shows up, locks the door and quarantines the building ... reacting to "grave concerns" that a toxic radioactive substance somehow found its way into the club's tap water, and turned patrons into phosphorescent human anatomy models.

Uncle John's Inspiring Bathroom Reading

Oh boy. I don't even need to say anything, do I? So I'll pass [Sorry] on this one instead.

Portable Agitating Washing Machine
"Here's an agitator washing machine that is truly portable. You can just pick it up! Long haul truckers and RV enthusiasts will love it and it's ideal for cramped dorm rooms, guest houses or cabins."

Dude! It's called a sheetrock bucket! Go grab the laundry soap, find a broomstick, and get those clothes clean!

Matrix Adapter Adds Multi-Display Capability To Your Laptop
"The Matrox DualHead2Go. It doubles your laptop's existing video out capabilities, providing independent output to two adjacent monitors simultaneously."

That's what I've been waiting for ... now when I'm working wirelessly from the couch I can drop my laptop, spill my coffee, scare Luke senseless, ruin my shirt, run from the room screaming with 3rd degree burns and drop two expensive flat-panel monitors on the floor just by leaning over to scratch my foot.

Technology is amazing, sure.

Friday's Blue Book Fun Trivia Quiz Playlist
When a lei-wearing Elvis impersonator groomsman shows up at your wedding, should you expect Jelly Donuts and Peanut Butter n' Banana sandwiches at a Blue Hawaii-themed reception?

Does the bride do The Twist to "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love" coming down the aisle?

While we're swimming with the visual dolphins, The Blue Book recommends these two Robert Johnson classics:
"Preaching Blues (Up Jumped the Devil)"
"Terraplane Blues"

Notes on Being A Manager

A few quotes to fall asleep with, from baseball manager Casey Stengel.

"The trick is to keep the guys who hate you away from the ones who haven't made up their minds yet."

"Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits."

"There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them."

"Most ball games are lost, not won."

"I could'nt done it without my players."

"Good pitching will always stop good hitting, and vice-versa."

Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself."

What To Say To Someone Who Realizes They Made A Bad Mistake

Never say "I told you so" to anyone who's at the end of a relationship. Besides sounding insensitive, anybody can quote cliches ...which makes cliches worthless.

Try these instead:

1. A vampire can't come into your house unless you first invite him.

2. You knew it was a snake when you picked it up.

3. Maybe it really is you every time.

4. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff.

5. Looking at the big picture, it's all small stuff.

Life is good here inside The Blue Book.

Where's Tack?

I been thinking about having some work done at the house, routine painting and repairs ... and I try to stick with folks I've already used, especially if they've been in business for a while.

I always used Sharply Builders, but they're not in the phone book anymore. Seems like Mr. Sharply retired 4 or 5 years back but he had a son, "Tack," who was about my age. Not much like his father, but Tack was funny in his own way.

Wish I had some way of getting in touch if they're still in business.

Kiss My Foot, But No Go On Toes?

Let's go ahead and get this outta the way:

On July 11, a 27-year old Boardman Township woman told police she was in a study room at the Boardman branch of the Public Library of Youngstown and Mahoning County about 6 p.m. Tuesday when a man came in and asked if she wanted to participate in his sociology project. Boardman is a suburb of Youngstown, Ohio.

The man, whom she described as 20 to 25 years old with a thin build and black curly hair, told her that he had to kiss people's feet and record their reactions as part of a sociology research experiment.

She relented and he briefly kissed the bottom of her foot, and then without warning he began sucking her toe, according to a police report. She then pulled her foot away and the man asked her reaction to which she replied she was freaked out.

The victim then went to her car and applied hand sanitizer to her foot.

Joseph Colella, 28, of Olde Winter Trail, Poland Township was indicted for gross sexual imposition.

If convicted, he could be sentenced for between six and 18 months incarceration and ordered to pay a fine of up to $5,000.

Never In My Life ...

When I started doing The Blue Book last year I wasn't expecting much to come from it.

But a minute ago when I checked the latest web stats from Netcraft, well, you can imagine how shocked I was to see The Blue Book ranked among the top 1000 most popular web sites in the world ... alongside names like Downloadaccelerator.com, Freevideogallery.com and Sony.com!

I can't tell you what it feels like every time I look down at the rankings and see ... wait, hold on a second.

Uh, looks like I missed a couple of zeros in there somewhere. Sorry.

Never mind.

SpeedStacker

Sports stacking, wouldn't ya know, started in California as a game to help children improve their coordination.

Sports Stacking involves stacking and unstacking cups.

From its humble origins, Sports Stacking's grown into a competitive sport with divisions including the 3-3-3, the 3-6-3, team relay, Time to Shoot For and the Cycle Stack.

ESPN's airing coverage of the World Sports Stacking Championships on August 21. You can buy Sports Stacking essentials here.

"Stack early. Stack often. Stack fast."

Props to Ken!

I'm crunk about my homie Ken tweakin' his font. Man, that is clean.

Until this morning, my tiny screen meant I looked like this every time I dropped by the AVCLUB. But it's all good now.

ps. Just realized I'm glad I made it through the 90's without ever hearing, Yo, yo, homie Joe!

Lady Big Shots

Might be hard to believe that in the days while the US was still waiting for TV and the NBA to be invented, Exhibition Shooting was a wildly popular national sport. What's been almost completely forgotten from those days is the amazing skills of the women.

Next to Annie Oakley, Elizabeth "Plinky" Servantry Topperwein, who performed shooting exhibitions with her husband, Ad, is probably the most famous.
In 1904 the Topperweins performed at the St. Louis World Fair, and later that year she became the first woman to break 100 straight at trap. Plinky went on to shoot 14 consecutive 200 straight in Alabama, and in 1916 she broke 1952 out of 2000 targets in 5 hours and 20 minutes.

That's some kinda shootin'.

Annie Oakley described Plinky as "the greatest shooter of all time."

Plinky retired in the 1920s after giving birth to her only child, and died in San Antonio, Texas in 1945.

Lillian Smith [above] joined Buffalo Bill Cody's Wild West Show at age 15, and was known not only for her shooting skills but also for her flashy outfits ... and for being a "flirt."

Guess ya had to be there.

Betting on the Future

People love trying to guess and make predictions about what's gonna happen in the future. Here's a web site that lets you Put Up, or Shut Up.

Longbets.org is the web site of the Long Bets Foundation, which "is a public arena for enjoyably competitive predictions, of interest to society, with philanthropic money at stake."

Let's say you believe that in 2007, "a Google search of five keywords or phrases representing the top five news stories of 2007, weblogs will rank higher than the New York Times' Web site."

What you'd do is log on at longbets.org and place a $1000 bet that that prediction will come true. Whether you win or lose, your wager is donated to charity.

I feel pretty confident myself about making two predictions:

1. I predict it's a bad idea to make bets
2. I predict not many people will be placing $1000 bets on Prediction #1

Petition Power

Wish there was some way of putting a petition together with 10,000 names on it- and ask Ken to use a bigger font. When I squint to read it the letters suddenly turn 3D. Now that I think about it, that's pretty cool.
Never mind ...

You Can't Teach An Old Dog ...

The only TV I watch any more these days is the news.

(Before I say anything else, rather than risk leaving you with the wrong impression about things, I'll avoid mentioning any names and use a pseudonym for the specific network instead).

Seems like every time I'm watching "The Foxy News Channel" they play that 10-second "Play In" with the barking dog sound bite [sorry] at the end.

Problem is, their dog barks through my rear speakers and doggone it, every time that happens I immediately Run to the Window to find out what's got Luke so upset.

Every time. I still do it. Even if Luke's in the room with me waiting for The Dog Whisperer to come on.

Luke doesn't even lift up his head, he just rolls his eyes and snickers till I settle back down. Man, you'd think I woulda learned by now.

Sometimes I look at Luke, and gotta wonder who's training who.

The Amazing Weekly Money Puzzle

Ever noticed when you're worried about going broke and decide to "Fine Tune" your finances by holding off on tithing "to make sure everything else gets caught up with first" ... that somehow everything else only ends up getting even farther behind?

Wonder what's up with that?

Today Belongs to Brookers

Folks, making videos is hard. Just ask Ken or DJ how many days, or even weeks, it can take to complete a 4-minute piece.

When showtime comes around it's literally a matter of "Ready or not, let's see what you got." And when it's your work on the screen it's easy to feel like you're watching a newly-born foal trying to stand on its own feet for the first time.

Other times you gotta take a deep breath ... and hope viewers don't start throwing seat cushions.

Posting videos at YouTube.com can earn a would-be filmmaker either almost instant acclaim or thousands of blisteringly negative reviews. That's why Brookers deserves mention.

Love her or hate her, Brookers is a 20-year old auteur from Worcester, Massachusetts who's created her own phenomena with nothing more than a web cam, a silly grin and a small galaxy of imagination.

Here's the first video that got the YouTube world buzzing about Brookers.

Elephant Kills TN Sanctuary Worker

From USA Today 7/21/2006

Elephant kills handler in Tennessee sanctuary

"A 36-year-old woman whose love for pachyderms led her from her native Maine to rural Lewis County, Tenn., was attacked and killed Friday morning at a preserve for aging elephants, authorities said.

Also, a man who handles the 22 Asian and African elephants at The Elephant Sanctuary was injured and hospitalized late Friday at Maury Regional Medical Center in Columbia, Tenn.

The aggressor was Winkie, a 40-year-old female Asian elephant who has been at the sanctuary for six years and who has a history of attacking humans who worked with her.

It is unclear what will happen to the elephant now."

Let's hope nothing "happens" to Winkie. According to a spokesman for the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, Winkie has an eye injury on the same side of her head where the the woman was standing when the attack began.

This is Winkie, from The Elephant Sanctuary web site.

This from Monday July 17, 2006 at The Blue Book.

Cheap Share A Ton Endorsement

Here at The Blue Book, we never want to cow-tow to parasitic corporate interests. And we're not gonna do it now. The Blue Book doesn't sell itself out to The Man for cheap profit.

BUT!

The oh-so-yes-say-so Sheraton "We Belong" TV Commercial!
Have you seen it? (Vote Yes [ ] No [ ] )

It's a commercial straight from the daydreams of The Blue Book, which means Luke and I fall on the floor simultaneously and start scratching (fleas) everytime it comes on.

25?

Because (A) It's got a Ridgeback near the opening (b) The "We Belong" version's better than Benatar (c) Long hair works, Long Hair works good (d) unrelated: But dreds are better

Less than 7% of communication is verbal

"I've been to the Egyptian Theater in Los Angeles and the Ziegfeld in New York. Both theaters combined would not be nearly as beautiful as the shimmering Tampa Theatre." -Born Jaded