Things to Think About

Thanks again to Tom at Adrenaline PowerBoats, for passing along these imponderables with this morning's email.

THINGS YOV'VE PROBABLY NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT:

-Can you cry under water?

-Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

-Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

-What disease did cured ham actually have?

-How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

-Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

-Hey DJ, why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

-Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

-Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

-Why is "bra" singular and "undies" plural?

-Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no human being would eat?

-If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

-If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

-Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

-Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

-Do you ever wonder why I started blogging in the first place?

Lembrete: Prática F1 hoje em 2:00 PM em Speed.TV



Friday's Disco Weekend in Sao Paolo Playlist:
Lady Zu - "Dança Louca"
Rita Lee - "Chega Mais"
Two Man Sound - "Disco Samba"

Friday Prayer List

I'm unplugging the phone all day on Friday so I can catch up my prayer list.

I wrote down all the essentials so I don't leave out anything important ...

-Grant me good health, so that I might keep on like I have been

-Please watch over my family, cause I don't have time to

-Please heal my car for 25,000 more miles, especially after my warranty expires or until I finish making all the payments, and can afford to buy a new one with No-Money-Down financing (make that 50,000 miles if you think my "God Is My Co-Pilot" bumpersticker is awesome)

-Bless my financial situation and punish those creditors who scorn me, that after I've taken a vacation and set aside a fat bankroll according to your heavenly design, I might start tithing again, and earn more respect and a say-so in church committees

-Be with our pastor, Bless His Heart, that he will not continue to say things during the service that really tick me off, or cause me to stay up nights. Don't let him preach about things that offend my friends who I've invited as guests to the service so they'll think I'm cool, or preach about controversial subjects that cause me to send anonymous e-mails to the church office on Wednesday mornings, even after I've talked to my attorney and calmed down

-Please watch and hover over the church staff, so that they will see the wisdom of every word that leaves my mouth, and check with me first before making any decision, amen

-Grant me strength to resist porn and temptation, instead of having the cable and internet disconnected

-Please forgive me for being bored and distracted when there's nothing else to do

-Be with that girl from church (you know the one I mean), let her see the many errors of her ways, let her realize I'm not a LOSER and see I was right (as usual) and come grovelling back ... that I may show her a full measure of grace and forgiveness ... so long as she acts right (the other one can drop dead with bee stings for all I care, if it suits you)

-Please end the relationship anxiety in my life by pointing me to the perfect partner, who is already perfect in every way

-Generally, please make me happy and as comfortable as possible, as proof of your awesome power

I know You're busy but also ...

-Let lots of people be saved around the world, even if I've never met them

-Don't let believers in other countries go hungry or without clothes, unless it pleases You and they deserve it

-Keep their populations under control, and teach them to be content with what they have

-Give me the strength to stay focused on what's most important to me

-Let others see the errors of their ways

-Help me live so that others see You in me

LIFE Magazine October 3, 1969

The grace of ballet ...


The Tumult of Hendrix

Never Leave the House on Halloween

11 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly on Halloween

If you're looking for a few screams this season, check out some of these wonderfully weird attractions. All are bound to scare, or at least impress, the most cynical visitors.

Headless Horseman, Ulster Park, NY
This is 45 acres of pure Halloween happiness. A one-mile hayride (enlivened with amazing special effects), a labyrinth corn maze, three ghost-infested houses, Cypher's Casket Company, the Haunted Gardens, and four ghoulish gift shops are among the star attractions. And, yes, there's a headless horseman merrily galloping around. Click here for details. $27. (photo above)

Dr. Lady Horror Hotel, Chatfield, OH
Laura and David Lady live inside their morbid mansion year round, opening their home to guests in October. The draw here are dozens of incredible life-size monster figures (most built by David, who designs latex monster masks for movies), which can be viewed on a tour that mixes high-tech sound and lighting effects with delightfully lowbrow humor. David and Laura personally conduct each tour. Click here for details. $5

Halloween Horror Nights, Orlando, FL
October 19-22, 26-29 & 31
Weekend nights in October, Universal Studio morphs into a weird world where vampires, soul catchers, and zombies romp around in a dark forest, a half-dozen haunted houses provoke screams of pure panic, and a 40-foot tall, 30-ton mechanical dinosaur rampages through the streets. Click here for details. $60. If you'd like to spend a few days quivering in fear, check out the Gory Getaway Vacation Package. (photo, right)

Bates Motel, Philadelphia, PA
Think you've stayed in some scary places? You ain't seen nothing yet. The Bates Motel is a high-energy haunted house whose inhabitants will do their best to keep you from ever checking out. If you do manage to escape their clutches, hop on the hayride and enjoy the Hollywood-style pyrotechnics as you battle off flying ghouls and goblins. The corn maze will convince urbanites that rural America is just as terrifying as they'd always suspected. Click here for details. $25

Haunted Overload, Stratham, NH
Get scared and feel really good about it afterwards -- half of Haunted Overload profits go to the local humane society, the other half are invested into enhancing next year's show. This old-fashioned attraction, built every year by Eric Lowther with the help of friends, family, and neighbors, features clever displays scattered around Lowther's Haunted Lawn. The grand finale, on October 30 and 31, includes 150-plus illuminated jack-o-lanterns, a battalion of fog machines, and "a chainsaw guy running wild." Click here for details. No set fee. Donations accepted.

Nautical Nightmares, Mystic, CT
Things that go bump in the night, creepy ghost tales, spirits guiding you through a dark village, and a mysterious lantern-lit boat ride along the Mystic River -- it's all part of "Nautical Nightmares," an annual Halloween event at Mystic Seaport. The nearly-departed share stories, unsolved mysteries, and strange legends with visitors as they sail down the river on a ghost ship. Click here for details. $18 (photo, right)

Netherworld, Atlanta
Located in the Georgia Antique & Design Center, the themes for 2006 are "Cursed," "Dr. Bill's Freak Pit," and "Shock-O-Rama". You'll marvel at the amazing monster makeup and special 3D effects even as you cower, gibbering with fear, in a dark corner. Click here for details. $15 for Cursed; $20 for Cursed and Shock-O-Rama in 3D or Cursed & Freak Pit; $25 all three shows.

Pirates of Emerson, Fremont, CA
Swirling fog, a desolate swamp, a creaking boat, an "underwater" tour of Davy Jones' Locker, a bilge rats maze, creepy dead pirates, outstanding special effects -- it's all here in a spook house with a swashbuckling theme. Pirates of Emerson has been frightening Californians for 15 years, and the attention paid to every devilish detail at this attraction is legendary. Click here for details. $18

Shocktoberfest, Sinking Spring, PA
Five minutes from Reading, PA, Shocktoberfest has the feel of a classic country fair gone crazy. The story is that the town was polluted by environmental waste and everyone went nuts. Visitors can explore the Toxic Asylum, climb aboard a BioHazard Hayride, visit a Prison of the Dead, and stroll along the Monster Midway to play games of ghoulish skill and chance. All of this is enlivened by "the same computer effects technology used by Universal Studios and Disney," according to the event's organizers. Click here for details. $30.

USS Nightmare, Newport, KY
Billed as America's Premier Haunted Steamboat, it's also America's only haunted Steamboat. Join the ghostly crew on a spine-chilling tour through the infirmary, the boiler pit, the pantry, the cargo hold, and the torturer's chamber. Meet the Rat Lady, legendary Captain Mitchell, and Captain Mitchell's evil twin, and the Pickled Brothers. When you're done screeching like a crazed banshee, have a slice of pizza in the Nightmare Mess Hall. Click here for details. $15. (photo, right)

The Darkness, St. Louis, MO
This is one of the country's scariest Halloween extravaganzas, according to HauntWorld, a magazine for the haunted house industry. But it isn't just cheap chills. The Darkness spends over $150,000 each year to upgrade its eerie offerings. There are 100-plus animations, 50 actors, and more than 40 demonically decorated sites to explore, all packed with demon mummies, zombified Pygmies, lots of weapon-wielding maniacs, and -- The Darkness' organizers firmly insist -- real ghosts. Click here for details. $15.

---Michelle Delio

LOST done lost it - updated 2:33PM

LOST is floundering ... and this time the smash cuts, polar bears and a sweat lodge didn't fool me.

Overlooking for a moment that not a single significant thing happened in last night's episode, this silliness about splitting the season up with three new episodes, taking three months off ... eight new episodes, take eight months off is like a server adding sandspurs to your salad and explaining, "Try this, it's different" as she hands you a fork.

Oh, and yes ... can we please have some more new characters in mid-season? Please pretty please?

Maybe if Kate could replace Rosie O'Donnell and become a regular on "The View" ... yah, that'd be cool.

I just realized how much Luke looks like a polar bear.
Much is made clear.

Killer Device Drivers

-from ZDNet

Surge of killer device drivers leave no OS safe

Posted by George Ou @ 5:39 am

Digg This!

News came yesterday that Linux users who used NVIDIA's drivers were in danger of being remotely exploited because a zero-day exploit code was released last week. Just the mere act of visiting a malicious website could trigger a buffer overflow that can lead to arbitrary code execution.

Since the attack is on the device driver which is closely tied in to the kernel, it operates beneath the user space and does not require root privileges to completely take over the system. Currently there are no patches or updated drivers that fix this issue so Linux users are faced with the difficult choice of running more generic drivers that lack hardware optimization or live with the risk of being rooted.

These kinds of device driver flaws aren't just limited to Linux; the reality is that they have recently plagued all operating systems from FreeBSD to Linux to Windows to Mac OS X.

Getting to know you ...

According to Ken, these are just a few of the "Would You Rather ..." questions folks had the challenge of answering last night during their Home Group's first "at home" meeting.

-Have Boba Fett-like thrusters in your nostrils OR retractable roller blades on the bottom of your feet?

-Have a foot long eyelash you can never pluck OR an earlobe the size of a basketball?

-Have your eye fall out at random times OR have uncontrollable constant drool?

-Have one giant tooth OR millions of tiny teeth?

-Get a bad tattoo OR have bad teeth?

-Wear a life vest the rest of your life OR a pair of parachute pants?

-Have one leg ridiculously shorter than the other OR arms that don't bend?

-Eat 3 lbs of hair OR Drink a gallon of shampoo?

-Have caterpillars on your face moving around on your eyebrows OR or be trailing paprika wherever you go?

-Have needles for leg hair, OR have flares shoot out of your nose every time you say the word "the".

-Hit every red light for the rest of your life, OR always be wrong?

Girl Knows Stuff

What do I know about women? Absolutely nothing (just ask me).

So after reading this post at Dysfunction Junction and seeing it was directed at women prone fretting about the turmoil, confusion and disappointments in their lives, I asked for permission and ORP was kind enough to allow me to include a few excerpts here.

You alone choose how to behave and how to react to every situation. You can choose to let things happen. You can choose to make a mountain out of a molehill, or a molehill out of a mountain range. You can choose to get angry and scream and break things (and people); you can choose to look like an idiot at best, and go to jail eventually at worst, and nobody can do a thing about it. But the fact remains that you are in control of and responsible for your own behavior.

You decide who you allow into your life. And guess what? Most people don't deserve a place in your heart. Cold? Yep. But I've seen first hand what an unworthy "friend" can do to your life. The same applies to dating relationships. Just because someone is "hot" or "sexy" doesn't mean he deserves a place in your life, your heart, or even your bed. Hell, especially your bed. Or, substitute "hot" or "sexy" for "rich".. the same applies.

You decide how people will treat you.. not based on how you treat them, but on how you treat yourself. A person who respects herself does not treat herself badly. She doesn't put herself in dangerous and shameful situations. She doesn't have unsafe sex or "casual" sex.. because come on everybody knows that for a woman, sex is never casual. She doesn't allow toxic people to worm their way into her life, and once she's kicked a toxic person to the curb, she slams the door on their bad influence and doesn't look back! She doesn't use coersion or manipulation or intimidation or her body to get what she wants. A woman who respects herself learns how to get what she needs on her own power, without sacrificing her self respect.

It basically took my world falling apart and all of my ideas about life and love and faith being slashed to the bone. It took me finally admitting that it's not all about me and gritting my teeth against a lifelong disgust for religion and God and opening my mind. I heard a pastor say something that God had been trying to tell me for years, and I was too hardheaded to listen:

I've lived my life for the wrong man.. a different man every few years, and every one of them wrong. God is the only one who doesn't disappoint you in the end. And more importantly, God made each of us exactly the way we were supposed to be. He made us on purpose, with a purpose, and for a purpose. In his image.

Now you know I'm not a church nut. I don't even attend every week. I'm not involved. I don't go around praying for random people and laying hands on them and speaking in tongues. I'm not out there thumping the bible and being a Jesus freak. In fact, I'm probably one of the most cynical and skeptic Christians I know. But you know what? Becoming a Christian changed my life anyway.

I'm not lucky and I'm not special. I'm not doing anything anyone else can't do. I've just realized that this works.


I Always Thought The Old Testament Was BORING Department:

Sunday School was never like this. But it shoulda been.

Yo Men, Listen Up

Hope I'm not violating copyright laws by lifting this awesome post from BIG TRUTH Small Packaging.

I don't know who she is ... but her words, aimed at men, are worth memorizing:

You are respectable. Respect is something that needs to be earned, and as a Godly man you succeed at that. Your strength, not just physical, is something that women need to reach our potential as well as reflecting well on you. I know that the intricate workings of yourY mind is essential in God's plan.

Does that surprise you? I know you think about sex as much as women think about chocolate; so you may have a problem with this statement. You were designed like that by God himself. Yes, there is a right way and wrong way to use this mind of yours. I have no problem with the way a Godly man handles this gift.

You walk with dignity and statue worthy of admiration. You enter a room and every woman knows they are now in the presence of a Man. There is a security in your presence that we can find no where else on earth. You bring conversation topics that make us laugh and think in ways women cannot achieve.

We love it when you take the time to present yourself in public. When you use products to make you smell irresistible and look GQ, we do notice; however it is your character that catches our attention. Women may be intrigued by the physical but are captivated by your character.

You are beautiful too.

You have an incredible responsibility to live up to and you’re trying your best to accomplish it. God himself chose to enter humanity as a man, and you are the reflection of his image. I can see glimpses of Christ Himself in you.

Briefly, moments will come when, I swear, you have shrugged off humanity itself and been covered in Christ to the point I can't tell you apart. Through this, tangible reflections of my Savior are given. We can see, touch, and feel the love of our Lord.

I say the world is better for having Godly men like you. I know I am better for it. Again I say Thank You, men, for just being good men.

The Bare Facts About Belton

www.nonudebelton.com

Saying No to No Clothes

October 15, 2006

A group of Belton residents are saying no to no clothes at nudist colony that wants to move into the small Anderson County town. And they are uniting with the help of a Web site - nonudebeleton.com.

The site offers information about the development that is proposed for 103 acres of land along Blake Dairy Road, just outside the city of Belton.

-The Anderson Independent Mail

The Big Rallye

Can you believe it?

Tonight The Blue Book stepped into the local political fracas by appearing live before The Electric City Council ... and sang a heart-felt (albeit solo) "Un di, si den rammento mi" from Verdi's Rigoletto to express outrage over the latest downtown redevelopment plan.

Yes. So I directed all white blood cells and enzymes to attack this viral intrusion, commanding myself not to get sick.

Is it working?

Not important ... so long as I function as though it's working.

No More Posts for You

I keep telling myself not to blog until whatever this is goes away.

I had a nagging sore throat yesterday, then woke up in the middle of the night with a headache (I can count my lifetime total heachaches on one hand) and felt like my situation would greatly improve if I unloaded last night's frozen pizza cargo.

I didn't ... and feel slightly better now, but just got an unsolicited e-mail from FF saying she was also sick this morning, with similar flu-like symptoms.

Glad I've still got the strength of 9.325 men, it comes in handy during flu season.

Backdoor Love Affair

Ya''ll quit already.

Whatever you're thinking, stop it and pay attention. I heard something tonight at The 6 that tied in with ... well, this classic ZZ Top song.

Any way you want it baby,
I'll settle for a back door love affair.

I call you on the telephone,
the party says that you ain't there.

When a man asked who's callin',
I said, just tell 'em it's a back door love affair.

At Tonight's 6 it sunk in that some folks are trying to hide behind dual-citizenship about their church membership.

They'll attend an early service at one church, then scoot across town (changing clothes en route?) to arrive on time for the service at the church where they grew up, where they were married, where their parents still attend.

I want to be clear: those people are spending more time driving than they are serving. They're focused more on keeping other people happy than they are on serving God's Kingdom.

Like someone wiser than me once said: If the church is Christ's body, are we sure we wanna close the back door? ... but that doesn't mean it's kept open so you can try to sneak in while nobody's watching.

Don't compromise your spiritual gifts by settling for a backdoor love affair.

Double Espresso Shot

I'm a dummy who doesn't even deserve having a blog.

I shoulda already mentioned you can catch the Sunday services every week via Podcast or direct link here.

Now you don't have any excuses, even if you live on the other side of the Pacific (and Yes, from now on there will be a quiz every Monday).

I'm not gonna say This is the most exciting church in the world! or Nobody Brings Scripture To Life And Makes it Relevant Like My Pastor! or My Church Has The Best Staff And Volunteers On The Planet! Even if I think they're all true, it's not about one church or one group of people or even about one person.

It's only about a man named Jesus Christ, and following his command to reach every corner of this community with the gospel.

Pocahontas and Me

Terribly awesome evening sitting on top of the Old Stone wall with The Frashleys winding down as we speak.

In the meantime, create your own audio-visual treat by clicking here for a time-lapsed look at the Aurora Borealis ... and mixing in The Playlist to suit.

Neil Young - Aurora Borealis

See ya at The Six.

Archival Feetage

By popular demand ... an untitled poem from a few years
back.


Your name
The customary word
Rings the moonrise
Silver echoes cascade
And split the hillside.

Phantoms chant
Through sun-seared eyes
I dreamed your soul melted into
A chorus inside me.

To know your touch
Breath and pulse
Your words before you say them.
Become me.

I dreamed I saw you sleeping
Alone in the desert
And in the saturnine sky
The stars spelled out your name.

Tendril Love.

If only we had time
Time enough
I'd poison you.

Solid Gold

"Time allows you to truly understand ..."

Stop whatever you're doing right now and click here.

Joe Sangl's October 12 post is titled "Financial Advice to Married Persons" but I'd add the caption ... and for folks who might one day get married.

Then print out 100 copies (we tend to lose things over the years), and carry one folded copy in your purse or wallet to have handy for reference the next time you meet Mr or Miss Awesomely Right.

Ask them to read it, explaining that you've got a few questions about the future and that you're curious to find out what they think. Do this long before any possibility of getting engaged is even a remote possibility ... like on the second (but no later than third) date.

Here's a hint straight from the core binding of The Blue Book.

If the new hottie who's put a twinkle in your eye and a skip in your step rolls their eyes, skims over the page and says something insightful like "I'm not interested in any of that stuff" or shrugs off the subject of financial responsibility without telling you what they think, then you're left with just one option for that relationship:

Don't walk away ... start running and don't spare the horses.

I promise you will not be looking back at Joe Sangl's advice five years from now, wondering why on earth you made life so hard when you had everything you needed to make it so easy.

Those with ears should start hearing.

I'll bet couples in love spend 1500% more time thinking about sex than they do thinking about their finances. Which goes a long way toward explaining why so many married couples find themselves financially screwed.

Hi Ho The Derry-O, A Voting We Will Go - updated 7:17 am Oct 14-2006

Thursday at lunch I thought McCoy was gonna throw me on top of the table and use a butter knife to get urgently busy finding out "What's wrong with you?"

Talk about sudden fury.

All I'd done was confess I hadn't voted in the last election, or even the one before that.

Can we put politics aside for a minute, please?

Both national political parties are morally corrupt: Democrats are Godless self-serving liars bankrolled by secular humanists, eco-freaks, trial lawyers and liberals dedicated to expanding their "progressive" agenda with moral relativisim and destroying our fundamental freedoms.

The Republican Party's been bought and paid for by blood-sucking corporate interests dedicated to stealing everybody else's money (like banks, pharmaceutical and petro-chemical monopolies), and shamelessly profiting from selling advanced (translation: highly-profitable) weapons systems to already-indebted Third World countries while ignoring their impoverished populations. And to destroying our fundamental freedoms.

I know God-fearing, Christ-loving people on both political sides, and they'll never see eye to eye on the issues. The fact that they'll turn around and vote against each other's ballots during an election is kinda puzzling ... and seems self-defeating.

No matter what your political affiliation, the simple fact remains that in this corporate-funded democracy, the candidate with the deepest pockets typically wins ... and immediately sets out to repay campaign debts and obligations by granting favors and privileges to his/her friends and sponsors while ignoring the nation's interests.

Big corporations, labor unions and PACs know this: that's why they hedge their election bets by generously contributing to both candidates on both sides of the issues.

And when it comes to being "representative," one well-heeled lobbyist in the D.C. Beltway packs more punch than 500,000 constituents back home.

It's almost like every four years our federal government is put up for sale at public auction, and goes to the highest bidder.

But what about hot-button topics like abortion? Or gay rights? And what about protecting our borders against terrorist attack?!

What about less time dwelling on fear and more attention focused on spreading the gospel ... and remembering that God alone is sovereign and in control at all times, no matter which party gets elected?

Jimi Hendrix, Ferrari and Following Christ

I've wondered if people sometimes land at The Blue Book almost by accident after Googling with words like Grace, Jesus Christ or salvation ... and instead find posts about Faith mixed with an odd assortment of ramblings about Jimi Hendrix, Ferraris, Formula 1 racing, something called Today's Playlist and who possibly knows what else.

Ok, I'll do my best.

Jimi Hendrix
I don't do illegal drugs, and neither should you. Hendrix's music was science fiction ... stories about outer space told with feedback through an amplified electric guitar.

-I also think he was the most original, innovative and influential electric guitarist who ever lived ... despite the arm-chair critics who say he was un-trained, un-skilled and musically un-educated.

Even if they're right, being "un-polished" didn't stop Hendrix from doing solos that leave other guitarists with their mouths hanging open ... even today.

Formula 1 Racing
Being strapped into a 1700-pound chassis carrying an 800 horsepower furnace that feels like it's flattening your eyesballs every time you step on the gas, and blasting through hairpin turns and chicanes at over twice the national speed limit with 4-Gs squishing you sideways in your seat, is probably something spectators would rather watch from afar, where it's safe ... while avoiding any direct participation.

-the same way some congregations sit back and watch their pastor run the race ... until he finally crashes and burns-out in front of the grandstands.

No racing team would ever hire a Formula 1 driver who said, "I don't care about winning because I've never been that enthusiastic about the manufacturer. Finishing second to the other guy is good enough for me, and that's as hard as I'm willing to work."

-but lots of churches would hire him without batting an eye ... and then go right back to arguing with the Building Committee about where to put the new water fountain

Ferrari
Never mind the flashy new models that cost more than the average American home; this has nothing to do with status symbols, extravagance or materialism.

Back in the 1950s one man's vision changed not just racing but automobile design forever, even though no one grasped Ferrari's impact at the time. What Enzo was doing was simply building the best cars in the world ... by hand, one at a time. The man had a single vision, an uncompromised devotion to what he would accomplish.

As long as Enzo was alive, his passion took Ferrari to levels beyond what anyone thought possible.

The Playlist
Is simply what I'm listening to in the background.

Minivan Drivers From Hell

Remember the old saw about "Be careful what you pray for, 'cause you just might get it?"

I'm learning to be very careful ... because the past few weeks I've been praying for Patience.

No kidding, prayer works.

Now a whole week can slip by with me still stuck in traffic at red lights, or trapped behind two drivers doing 20 miles an hour side-by-side on Clemson Boulevard. But I just turn up the volume and start wishing "Holy Holy Holy"could somehow play on the radio.

Or I can be waiting in the Express Lane for what seems long enough to let the Post Office know to start forwarding my mail while the customer ahead of me loses count of the pennies she's using to make a $400 purchase, and starts over ... but it won't faze me one bit.

Or I can be waiting in a restaurant while the ice caps melt and North America develops a food crisis waiting for my order to arrive, and never saying a word to the server about "What happened to my food?" Really.

But come Sunday ... whether it's one of the two morning services or the stompin' 6, when the time comes to head up Highway 81 it doesn't make any difference ... I've come to recognize there's hand-to-hand spiritual combat on the horizon.

Happens every time, as every minivan driver, every octogenarian on a moped and every person who's ever failed their driver's test decides it's time to get on the road, pull out in front and start blocking my way.

Last Sunday evening at a red light I was about 2 seconds away from climbing out, walking up to the driver ahead of me and asking if he'd mind if I checked his pulse. Drivers like him may not know it, but they are part of the army opposing me in spiritual warfare.

Seriously.

If I'd said the enemy had been hurling Lust! Greed! or Temptation! in my direction to distract me, even strictest legalists would understand exactly what I meant. But the idea that minivan drivers might somehow fall into the same category as an awfully-on-purpose painted-on skirt probably sounds like a stretch.

But I don't think so.

Here's the reason: if I pull up at church and have to immediately give myself a Timeout to calm down before getting out of my vehicle and walking into God's House, or if I jab my finger in the face of the poor guy on the Parking Team to let him know he's Number 1 for not pointing me to the parking space I want, that means I've lost focus and let myself become distracted just when I need to be most prepared to listen ... and the enemy has won that round.

That awareness applies across the board: any time I allow normal, day to day irritations to come between me and where I want to be, even though snapping at a server (or seeking revenge by not leaving a generous tip) might sound more like a quick skirmish than a nuclear spiritual attack, it's still one more opportunity for the enemy to snicker "Gotcha!" ... and another invitation for a bigger stumbling block to get tossed in my path next time.

If I let trivial annoyances, gossip, disappointments or anger distract me, my weakness just might be an invitation for the enemy to "check back soon" with something much bigger: if I've proved even insigificant distractions cause me to stumble then how on earth will I have the strength and experience to climb over boulders?

Maybe the enemy has the best chance of winning when we don't even realize it's him we've been fighting.