It wasn't what I expected- otherwise, I woulda liked it

I'm not gonna beat around the church bush.

I've often wondered what would happen if we could somehow bring Peter, or John or Paul into the 21st century and have him sit in during the preaching at one of today's "modern," "contemporary," "casual" churches.

Since "contemporary churches" draw so much ire from folks who'd like nothing better than keeping Salvation all to themselves, I wonder what one of the Gospel writers would have to say about "relevant" preaching, and how he'd react to the sermon.

I'm pretty sure he'd clasp his hands over his ears and run screaming from the auditorium, shaking his head violently with fear.

By the time we caught up to him in the lobby, I'm sure the first thing he'd wanna know is, "What makes that man's voice so big?"

We could try explaining microphones, speakers, electricity and sound reenforcement systems ... but never mind that; what we really want to know is, "What did you think of the message?" 

I'm 100% convinced any one of the three would throw up his hands and announce, "I don't know where those words come from, but it's certainly not what Jesus said and not anything like what we wrote in the Gospels."

Uh oh, this isn't going at all like we expected.  

So we turn to the Aramaic language coach we wisely thought to include in our experiment, and ask him to translate our question into the language our guest speaks and understands.

At which point his eyes would light up, he'd clasp us on the back and explain, "I'm willing to give this new church and its preacher another shot ... but first, is English really a language?  I've never heard of it, and the words sound like gibberish and bird squawks to me."

Having a translator sure comes in handy when it comes to communicating in a language that the listener understands, you see.

Someone guided by God who can present and share the Gospel clearly and plainly to anyone willing to hear it ... without nineteen hundred years of self-serving stipulations, religious word plays, archaic code words, and most of all, without the man-made themes that make Christ seem so inapplicable and distant in our times.

--   ---  --

PS.  When's the last time you heard this taught in church?

 בְּרֵאשִׁ֖ית בָּרָ֣א אֱלֹהִ֑ים אֵ֥ת הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם וְאֵ֥ת הָאָֽרֶץ׃

No?  I'm surprised.  It's Genesis 1:1, from the Westminster Leningrad Codex.

(Having a translator sure comes in handy when it comes to communicating.)

UFO Crashes near subdivision off County Line Road! Object remains in clear sight -- Sheriff describes it as "Huge" and "Definitely not of this world"

I Can't Wait to See Jesus:   Part 3

Wonder how many folks might throw on their shoes, skip church and thunder off in the family mini-van toward County Line Road with cell phone camera in hand ... if given the chance to finally get a good close-up look at a real UFO for themselves?

Sound silly?

What about folks who skip church because their team played in a bowl game that ran late on Saturday night?

Is that different?

Ok, what about folks who skip church because they've got family visiting over the holidays ... and it's just too much of a hassle to get everybody fed, dressed and ready in time to get to church?  (Never mind the expense of having to take everybody to lunch at your favorite joint afterwards.)

How bad do people really want to see Jesus?

"Hey Joe, you're taking this way too seriously.  I mean, Bowl Games are only played once a year.  My team doesn't get to go that often ... and next Sunday church will still be there."

"Next Sunday my family won't be around anymore, but church will."

"Joe, you're absolutely right.  I would skip church to see a real UFO if one crashed nearby. Because seeing a UFO first hand would change the way we think, not just about the world, but about everything in the universe.  And besides ... "

Wait, I already know the answer: "Next week, church'll still be there."

Yep, but you might not be.  

Just sayin'.

Can you imagine standing before God's throne, glancing up at His face and the first thing He says is, "So how about that field goal with three seconds left to go in the fourth?"

Just sayin', ya'll.    :-)

--   ---  --

Expect to see something HUGE and "out of this world" every Sunday.

I can't wait to see Jesus ... part 2

This Week Only: Sunday Special Salvation Savings!

--Quantities strictly limited, absolutely no rain checks!!

- First come first served!!!

I hate opening my mail box and seeing sales flyers, especially when they're splashed with red letters implying the offer is so sweet, it's likely to be withdrawn at any time ... never to be available again, at any price.  Not anywhere.

Except maybe a month later on ebay, for a fraction of the price.

Sales pitches like the ones mentioned above are designed to make the buyer feel smart, to assure him or her that he/she belongs to an exclusive group of savy shoppers who know a  great deal when they see one.

The same kind of hype is even worse on TV.  The "special promotions" are introduced with a somber voice-over proclaiming, "This offer will not be repeated.  Be the envy of all your friends!  Act now!"

Sometimes I do Act Now, by changing channels.  Or by going outside to see which way the wind's blowing.

--   ---  --

"Be the envy of all your friends"?  Is that a smart reason to buy anything?

Unless your life-purpose is to be envied.

--   ---  --

Ever been to a church where the members acted like you'd invaded their private clubhouse, or been treated indifferently by deacons who'd rather keep the secret of the Heaven's Handshake to themselves?

Ever tried talking to a pastor who looked up and down at your clothes first, and then grimmaced as though you'd just stepped in from raking manure?

What makes church people act like that?  Like they were the first to hear about Christ and Salvation ... but now that they're in Heaven's Members Only Club, time's expired & the gift of Salvation will Never Be Available Again.

Did Christ ever tell the disciples, "After accepting Me and entering the kingdom, slam the door shut behind you"?

Was Christ crucified so we could create steering committees to decide what socio-economic group is the most convenient, or the most fashionable and lucrative, for our church will appeal to?

Did Christ die in our place to leave us more free time to form cliques, and ostracize other believers for being different or not looking or dressing like us?

Was Christ resurrected to give us the authority to turn up our noses at whoever's not "good enough" to sit on the pew beside us?

Then Jesus, still teaching in the temple courts, cried out, "Yes, you know me, and you know where I am from. I am not here on my own, but he who sent me is true. You do not know him, but I know him because I am from him and he sent me."

- John 7:27-29

Right.  Christ was teaching in the temple, crying out to the self-righteous when He said "You do not know him."

I might give this a try ...

(culinary aside)

 SPAM FAJITAS

 

 Recipe By     :  MASTERCOOK

 Serving Size  : 8    Preparation Time :0:00

 Categories    : Main dish

 

   Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method

 --------  ------------  --------------------------------

                     Vegetable cooking spray

1                   Green bell pepper, cut into julienne strips

1/2               Onion, cut into 1/4″ slices

1 can            SPAM Luncheon Meat, cut into julienne strips (12 oz)

3/4   cup     CHI-CHI's Salsa

8                   Flour tortillas, warmed (8")

2 cups          Shredded lettuce

1/2   cup      Shredded hot pepper Monterey Jack or Cheddar cheese

1/2   cup      Nonfat plain yogurt

                      Extra salsa, if desired

 

Spray large non-stick skillet with vegetable cooking spray. Heat skillet over medium-high heat. Saute green pepper and onion 2 minutes. Add SPAM. Saute 2 minutes. Stir in salsa and heat thoroughly. Spoon about 1/2 cup SPAM mixture into each flour tortilla.

Top each with 1/2 cup shredded lettuce, 1 tablespoon shredded cheese, 1 tablespoon yogurt, and extra salsa, if desired.

Yummy, yummy.

I can't wait till I see Jesus - part 1

Funny how as you get older, notions of death and dying become less abstract and less theoretical.

While awaiting the results of your first medical "procedure," you may start noticing your outlook is coalescing into an acknowledgment that your rickety, fleshy anatomy is fairly flimsy; non-renewable in fact ... and that mortal defunction is firm and inevitable after all.

Sometimes folks who consider themselves "religious" or "church-going" ride through their years on the soul train of their choice, convinced that they've written their own schedule and Heavenly reservation; believers who recline on comfortable loungers of spiritual denial, self-righteously pointing fingers at sinners standing outside Church Station (but unwilling to give up their seats, or extend a hand to help them aboard), snoozing past the scenery ... only waking when it's time to snap their fingers and demand a filling snack from their personal porter-pastor.

Being more religious, more saved and more arrogant than anyone else, they expect life to be one smooth trip, an easy First Class ride all the way through the Pearly Gates en route to their Heavenly mansion ...  it's only humility that prevents these holy rollers from letting other believers in on the secret, "My mansion's gonna be the biggest mansion you've ever seen!"

These pious passengers feel confident their train's on the right track and that their private Pullman Sleeper pew is chugging along on a non-stop route to Heaven's station.  That life will be a cozy, self-satisfying and distraction-free trip all the way.

At least, till the engine starts slowing down, the whistle blows ... and their estimated Eternal Time of Arrival abruptly, or unfairly, becomes certain and inflexible.  

Uh oh, when the ride's over it's gonna be my turn to step off.  That's when anxiety hits, the finality of death seems real, and soul-searching through the spiritual baggage begins in earnest.

I got baptized to make sure my ticket's punched, but did my reservation get confirmed on the prayer line?  Will somebody up there recognize me?  Wonder if I've got time to buy a stained glass window or a pew inscribed with my name, just so they'll know who I am.

Oh boy, where did I pack my church clothes and wallet?  I'll never find anything in all this mess ... why on earth did I bring so much useless stuff ?

Manger Outrage

Is Christmas being targeted for extinction?  Why are some factions rejecting nativity scenes, taking down Christmas trees, forbidding Christmas carols, and replacing Christmas with "Winter Solstice" celebrations?

Secular progressives say there's no war on Christmas, but a quick stroll around the world's calendar tells me otherwise.

When's the last time secularists suggested eliminating, re-naming or replacing:

Rohatsu (Buddhism), Zarathosht Diso (Zoroastrian), Litha (Wicca), Gatan-sai (Shinto), Guru Gobindh Singh Birthday (Sikh), Mahavir Jayanti (Jain), Lord's Evening Meal (Jehovah Witness), First Day of Ridva (Baha'i), Haile Selassi I birthday (Rastafari), Hanukkah (Jewish) or Pioneer Day (Mormon)?

Much less Ramadan (Islam)?

Nope, secularists look the other way 364 days of the year ... waiting for Christmas to roll around.  Why just Christmas?

What is it about Christmas that inflames and scares atheists so much?

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

- John 15:18

Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.

- 1 John 3:12-14

Your New Moon festivals and your appointed feasts 
       my soul hates. 
       They have become a burden to me; 
       I am weary of bearing them.

- Isaiah 1:14

Dropping the Most Powerful F-bomb of all

OK, so sometimes why do we think it's cool (or appropriate) to use profanity or vulgarity?

Does it come from an urge fit in, or to appear "real," or urgent, "in-touch" and earthy?  Does the world really have that kind of hold on our speech, and on how we express our thoughts with others?

What was Christ's message all about anyway?

Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.

- Acts 13:38

In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

- Matthew 13:34-35

If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake

- 2 Corinthians 2:10

WOW, I coulda had a Verse 8!

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

- 1 John 4:8

There's Good News ... and Bad News

After raining all week, with a temperature stuck in the low 40s, the good news is that it's gonna finally be All Sun and Clear Skies on Friday.

The bad news is that Friday's temperature drops back down into the 20s.

No such thing as a balmy trade-off, is there?

Scripture: the Un-Accessory

Wonder what would happen if we agreed to spend an hour reading the Bible for every hour we spend watching TV.

I dunno ... but I'd like to find out.

e-mail from Vernon

So do not fear, for I am with you; 
       do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
       I will strengthen you and help you; 
       I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

-Isaiah 41:10

I hate liver ... so fill up my plate with a big heapin' helping

I've eaten some outrageous stuff ... things I won't mention here (except Wildebeeste; it's delicious and far better than any roast beef.  And my mouth absolutely waters at leg of goat, slow-roasted over charcoal).

But I hate liver.  Don't care what kind it is; I'd rather not touch it, thanks.

Which means when I sit down in a restaurant I don't start proclaiming to everybody within earshot how much I hate liver ... and then add some to my plate to enjoy, and smack my lips with glee while nobody's looking.

I hate liver, truly.  And you can't tempt me with liver, no matter how it's disguised.

Not even pan-seared with gravy and onions ... and fries on the side.

--   --   ---

We hear Christians say they hate sin ... but why do so many keep sneaking sin into their lives? Or are those believers talking about the sin in the other guy's life?

"Man, that guy (or girl) oughtta cut that out!"

"Why can't so-and-so just stop what they're doing?"

"How can she call herself a Christian and carry on like that?"

Why is it that the other guy's sin is always so bad ... and always so easy to see and condemn?  Do we really think the other guy's sin is SO BIG that seeing it prevents us from noticing our own?

Hmm.

--   ---  --

Whether it's porn, swearing, adultery, lying, gambling, pride, jealousy, gossip, anger or not tithing: it's ALL still Sin.

I mean, Do you really hate sin, or do you prefer writing your own definition of what sin means?  Or maybe you enjoy sinning in the moment, while getting your fill ... and it's only afterwards that sinning seems bad enough to hate?

Remember what I said about liver; there's bound to be a certain food you hate just as much. Let's say yours is fresh eel.  

If you hate the sins in your life as much as you hate fresh eel, then why's eel gone from your life but the sin's still there? 

The truth is that sin's still there not because we hate it, but because we like it.  We'll peek through Scripture anxious to find new ways to justify angering God, rather than give up our sins.

Sometimes we sin to "even the score" and give ourselves what we feel we deserve:  money, an emotional or sexual relationship, power, superiority, revenge or justice.  Awarding ourselves a "sin bailout" to answer any need, whether physical, emotional or intellectual, isn't just  pretending ... it's a warped crutch we design and clutch to make life easier and feel better about ourselves: it's a lie.

Sin is all about Lies.  Lies involving others and lies we tell ourselves ... but sin points back to the same thing: a dissatisfaction with who we are.  

That's the nature of sin: We want to feel or to be something else.  Something better, someone else with experiences more intense and more satisfying.  Sin pushes God from our attention by tempting us with easy shortcuts to get exactly what we want, instead of what God planned.

Who was it that Christ called "The father of all lies"?

--   ---  --

We don't mind pursuing Righteousness, especially for 90 minutes on Sunday mornings ... so long as we can still indulge in our delightful little sin any time the mood hits.  Nobody wants us to be perfect, right?

Wrong ... and what must be in the heart of a believer who'd use another's sins to justify their own?

--   ---  --

Sometimes we can't imagine, and aren't even interested in imagining, what life would be like without our most funnest sins ... and some of us live life on the edge of our seats, just drooling to indulge our secret sin next chance we get.  

We're so enamored of our favorite sins that we aren't even ashamed of protesting, "But I'm an adult, it's my life and besides, who's is hurting?" or "You've got your sins, too!"

Nope.  Making excuses or pointing fingers isn't the same thing as Hating Sin at all.

But every sin we rationalize ... and every sin we can't let go of, is the same thing as being frustrated, chained and held captive.  

And prevented from living the life God intended.

Structuralism and the Evolution of the First Caveman Atheist

Since atheists reject God's existence, it follows that atheists believe it was left up to the earliest Cro-Magnons [opinion is split about the capacity of Neanderthal vocal chords] to create the first spoken language.

Thus the very first spoken words likely had nothing to do with thought, abstraction or imagination, and were most likely grunts strictly limited to connoting and communicating the familiar entities that cavemen could see, literally, in their primordial, prehistoric environment ... and not much else.

We could create a simple Caveman Dictionary of our own: Dirt would be Grund, You would be Yu, Me would be be Mhi, Sky would be Xhi, Death would be Dhid, and No would be Nop.  Oh, and Moron would be Moron.

But how did the very first atheist come about?

Let's call our imaginary cavemen Kra and Gnuc ... and their conversation might have gone something like this: 

Kra and Gnuc work the same shift at the local tar pit and are walking home together late one afternoon.  A gorgeous sunset unfolds before their eyes, and Gnuc feels a presence and a power greater than himself.  

Even though the crude caveman language limits his ability to express himself, Gnuc grabs Kra's arm and points to the sky.  "Mhi dhid, Mhi xhi."

Kra smirks back at Gnuc and shakes his shaggy head.  "Yu moron, yu grund.  Mhi grund.  Nop xhi! Nop nop nop, yu moron."

--   ---   --

Poor Kra.  If only caveman words had existed back then to describe the indescribable, atheists might never have "evolved" in the first place.   

If only cavemen had been imaginative enough to create words that could adequately describe, encompass and explain the infinite unknowable they perceived unfolding at the edge of their eyeballs.

But then that assumes human beings have the capacity (or mental horsepower) to grasp the Almighty, the Sovereign ... the I AM.

Cavemen sure didn't.  

And thousands and thousands of words, books and essays later we still don't either; it's only blind Arrogance that keeps atheists huddling in their caves and from saying so.

Blogging Ain't Free

(personal opinion)

Never mind gasoline, central air and heat, cell phones and TV.   

Nor am I talking about essential stuff like electricity, warm clothes, running water and well-stocked grocery stores.   We take those things for granted and don't spend much time thinking about where they come from, or why we have ... or much less deserve... any of those luxuries in the first place.

Yep, I said Luxuries: it's estimated 75% of the world's population has never made a phone call.  For most of the world, there's not much hope of ever owning a car, a computer, or even a refrigerator ... and clean water is a luxury. 

But I'm not talking about stuff: I'm talking about something as mundane and inconsequential as Blogging.

Blogging.  My personal web journal, splashed all over the InterWeb for anybody with a computer to see.  My life. My Opinions. My Gripes and Grudges.  My Perspective as I choose to depict it.  

As more and more people started blogging, the more blogs began reading like they were written with indifference, grogginess, boredom, contempt for the reader ... and maybe a touch of indigestion, too.  [Ok.  So like I'm embarrassed of my own grammer. I know its none to good to start with, you know so I won't mention nobody elses out there neither!  So OK cause like I'm embarrassed alot already enough as it is! So Im just sayin!]

If there's one thing that's transparent in the Blogosphere, it's a Lack of Conviction.  Not just about cogent writing: it's an appallingly complacent lassitude ... about Everything.

"Hey Joe!  If you don't like my blog don't read it!  I mean, what's the big deal?"

Exactly.

--  ---  --

Newspapers (like The Tribune Company; announced earlier today) are going OOB faster than a four-tailed mule can swat flies ... because today's modern consumer wants what little news he/she cares about reading served quick & easy.  Spoon-fed, in juicy bite-sized pieces ... from mother web.

Writing and reading- much less thinking about reading and writing- is too much work and simply takes too much time.  Like, what difference does it make anyway?  I have such a busy life!  Really I do! And my opinion about stuff 's still just as good as somebody else's!  So.

I must be old and pertinacious, yo.

--   ---  --

Cuba recently enacted a new crackdown.  Not only on what, when and where bloggers can post, but on where bloggers can travel.  No kidding: a violation could earn a lengthy stay at the Morro Castle, or its equivalent.

OMG prison, IOW.

Say what?  That's sooo lame!  Like what's the big deal if I wanna blog about My Bad Hair Day, or about how long I had to stand in line to get a new PlayStation!

Could be that Cuba's communist government understands, and has already seen, that Blogging can be ubiquitous, powerful and far-reaching in its impact: fair warning that we should never take Blogging, or its easy availability, for granted.  

Else we could find ourselves impuissant, and lose the privilege entirely.

So.  And like, wouldn't that be a bummer?

--   ---  --

There's a link to Generation Y on the right-hand side of every page.

Oh yeah, it's Sunday

Ever woken up abruptly from a deep sleep in an unfamiliar surrounding ... and taking a moment before remembering where you were?

Now there's a solution: The Holus GPS Tracker 500.

Sure it's a watch, but there's also a GPS receiver inside to present you with your exact global coordinates.

Which means no more waking up in church during the Easter or Christmas service, and wondering where you are. 

Sh-Boom, Raca Knocka

- What's wrong with you?

- That's your whole problem

- You just don't get it, do you?

- What in the world were you thinking?

- Are you stupid?

What's the big deal about mocking or ridiculing someone else?  Are we really in danger of hell for being sarcastic or condescending?

Yes, that's right.  God loved us so much that He offered and sacrificed His Son so that any one who believed in Him would be saved.  Christ died for every one of us ... which doesn't leave any room to treat any one else, N-O O-N-E, with spite, ridicule .... or as an "inferior."

Because we're ALL inferior to Christ.

And if God Himself placed that kind of worth and value on sinners like thee and me, who are we to sacrifice our witness ... and pretend we're superior to Christ ... by acting superior, insulting- or antagonistic- toward any other person?

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.  Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, ' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. 

But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

- Matthew 5:22

The trouble with the tongue

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

- James 1:26

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

- James 3:5-6

"Yes," declares the LORD, "I am against the prophets who wag their own tongues and yet declare, 'The LORD declares.'"

- Jeremiah 23:31

Sin keeps creeping in & I don't know why

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

- Ephesians 6:11-13

When I get rich, THEN I'll start thinking about being religious

Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?

- James 2:5

I wonder if Sardis said "Ouch"

 I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.

- see Revelation 3:1