Running from-or out of- zeroes

The proposed Federal bail-out of US financial and investment markets is estimated to have a cost of $1 trillion dollars.  That's a million billions, right?

For comparison, the 2007 total budget was $2.8 trillion.

Let's forget that the trillion dollar figure is a Friday estimate: next Friday, and next month, it's likely to be much higher.  And never mind the big automakers who've already asked for their share of the Federal bail-out pie, too.

I'm still waiting however, to hear how that trillion dollar bail-out debt breaks down per person; what's the average cost per US citizen going to be?

Does that work out to about $5000 per person for every man, woman and child ...  $20,000 in new taxes for a 4-person family ... to bail-out the guys who got paid the big bucks to make smart financial decisions?

I'm steering clear of politics, but just one observation: maybe the nation's health care industry should declare bankruptcy next?

So un-PC

(humor)

Thought I'd better post this on a Friday, while all my friends with Macs have the day off ... and are unlikely to see it.  :-)

Don'tcha just love those "Hi, I'm a Mac" TV spots?  Aren't they clever?  Don't they make ya wanna run out and take a bite outta the big Apple?

Sure.

It only took about a year for Bill Gates to fight back ... he just chose to do it with a dull sword.

Old, not BOLD

 Unfortunately for those of us who cherish our PCs, the first volley in Windows' counter-attack goes far to prove that Tired n' Uninspired might be a mindset in Redmond, instead of just a state of mind.

Pseudo-Assurance: grant me my wishes

Why do Bad Things happen to believers?

If we're saved, and God loves us, then why does he allow bad things to blow up our lives?

But if we're saved and trust Christ, why do we believe we're immune from having bad things happen?  Is the idea that "Bad Things don't happen to Saved People- unless they've been bad" scriptural?  

--   --   --

I don't believe Christ died on the cross to create a prosperity or "well-being" gospel.  Nor did he preach "I have come that they may have life, and enjoy it to the full" nor "If a man remains in me and I in him, he will live on Easy Street" nor "How easy it is for the rich to enter the kindgom of God!"

Kinda makes you wonder about the difference between "being blessed" and being rich.

--   --   --

Then why do bad things happen ... most often when we least expect it?

I don't know... but I do know Jesus was not Genie Christ on a cross.

When bad things happen in my life, I try to keep reminding myself that my faith is in Christ and I'm here to serve him ... and that he didn't die on the cross to serve me and grant all my wishes.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

- Romans 8:28

Evolution: on the poo fast track

This fungi spore has the fastest launch in nature, accelerating from a standstill to 56 mph (90 kph) in one-millionth of a second.  That's like a human being going from zero to 5000 times the speed of sound in 1/1,000,000 of a second.

Scientists used very high speed 250,000 frame-per-second video cameras to record the event, which occurs so quickly it can't be detected with the human eye.

So what's the spore's need for speed?

"It is the need to get their spores away from the pile of poo on which these fungi live that drove the evolution of their dramatic ability."

Poo, oh yes indeed.

Nukin' Mickey

Muslims: We must kill Mickey Mouse

Tuesday September 16, 2008 Israel Today Staff

A prominent Saudi Islamic cleric has issued a fatwa, or religious edict, against Mickey Mouse, whom he characterized as an agent of Satan sent to corrupt young minds.

Sheikh Mohammed Al-Munajid told Saudi Arabia's Al-Majd Television that his beef with Mickey is that he is a mouse, a creature that Islam sees as "repulsive and corrupting."

Al-Munajid explained that Islamic law refers to the mouse as "little corrupter" and a creature that is "steered by Satan," and grants permission to all Muslims to "kill [mice] in all cases."

Therefore, according to Islamic law, insisted the sheikh, "Mickey Mouse should be killed."

- read more here

Saudi official: OK to kill owners of immoral TV

updated 3:11 p.m. ET, Fri., Sept. 12, 2008

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia's top judiciary official has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast immoral content.

The 79-year-old Sheik Saleh al-Lihedan said Thursday that satellite channels cause the "deviance of thousands of people."

- full story here

RAFSANJANI SAYS MUSLIMS SHOULD USE NUCLEAR WEAPON AGAINST ISRAEL

TEHRAN 14 Dec. (IPS) One of Iran’s most influential ruling cleric called Friday on the Muslim states to use nuclear weapon against Israel, assuring them that while such an attack would annihilate Israel, it would cost them "damages only".

Analysts said not only Mr. Hashemi-Rafsanjani’s speech was the strongest against Israel, but also this is the first time that a prominent leader of the Islamic Republic openly suggests the use of nuclear weapon [sic] against the Jewish State.

- Iran Press Service

What I do in my private life is my business: a dialogue

If I'm saved and can't lost my salvation, then can't I sin when, and as often, as I want to?  

Nope, not at all.  

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

- John 14:21

That's your interpretation, and sounds so legalistic.  What difference does a little sin-on-the-side really make?

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?

- 1 Corinthians 3:16

But life is complicated, and sometimes there's gray areas.  Who can say what's good and what's not?

"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

- Matthew 19:17

But I'm dating someone who's not a believer and he/she says there's no such things as 'sin' when two people love each other.  So what's the worst that can happen?

If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple.

- 1 Corinthians 3:17

Come on, be serious.  Nobody thinks like that any more.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise.

 - 1 Corinthians 3:18

Blue Book Bank Redux

- from Friday, December 14, 2007

We're from the bank and we're here to help you: Now stick 'em up

Bank of America, Wachovia, PNC Report New Loan Losses (Update3) 
By David Mildenberg and Hugh Son

Dec. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Bank of America Corp., Wachovia Corp. and PNC Financial Services Group Inc. said losses tied to bad debt will be worse than expected, providing fresh evidence that credit markets aren't returning to normal. -original source here

Hmmm, ... wonder whether our Bank Buddies are gonna shrug off their losses with big red faces, admit their unbridled avarice ... and learn a lesson about fiscal responsibility?

Will banks finally wise up n' buckle down ... no longer writing risky loans or issuing "credit cards" to folks who're already over-extended & unable to make minimum monthly payments?

Or, can we expect them to:

1) Raise interest rates & minimum monthly payments for "marginal" borrowers (folks with variable-interest mortgages and debt cards)
2) Mass-mail enticing new offers to "even more marginal" borrowers/debtors
3) Lay off "non-essential personnel" (i.e. bottom-tier bank employees; not the folks responsible for banks' lending practices) "as a response to the disappointing current economic downtrend"?
4) Resort to predatory lending by writing increasingly-risky loans (before their competitors do)
5) Increase fees & service charges; create new ones; offer fewer services
6) Argue that "Stealing isn't stealing when stealing is protected by law"

But isn't that Free Enterprise? Ain't that how Capitalism works? 

Banks hire lobbyists and make huge political contributions to manipulate the legislative process and enact laws penned in their corporate board rooms intended to guarantee their profits.

That how we end up with The Best Government Money Can Buy.

- from Thursday, July 13, 2006

Somebody Slap Me

I wouldn't know Joe Sangl if he walked up and slapped me in the face.

But I wish there was a time when he'd come up and knocked me flat silly. That's why now I'm hoping he'll lay one upside your head, too. Joe blogs about personal finances and how to become (and stay) debt-free.

It's not a gimmick or get rich quick scheme. Joe presents solid, 100% reality-based insights on how "only a little" debt snowballs, affects our choices, takes over our lives and turns us into slaves. Joe's blog is packed full of solid advice about getting your finances under control and keeping them there.

It might be hard to believe but there was a time when being a "debtor" carried a social stigma ... sorta like being an alcoholic who couldn't function without a drink, or an addict hustling the streets looking for the next fix.

Be Honest with Yourself: If racing down to the mall with a wallet (or purse) full of plastic is your idea of fun or recreation then you need to listen up.

Being out of financial control and accumulating DEBT is Not Fun. Paying 22% finance charges is isn't just STUPID ... it's a hint you might be addicted to spending.

We've been brainwashed with temptations like 0% interest and No Money Down Easy Credit Terms. But credit cards don't convey social status and aren't proof of your financial success, no matter what their advertising claims.

A credit card is your Debt Slave ID Badge and only impresses other people that you're a debt "ho" who's borrowing money from a credit pimp to buy stuff you really can't afford.

And pimps don't care about anything except getting their money paid back with 22% interest.

You need to start getting out of debt today ... and there's no better time to take the first step than right now.

Rollin' Heavy

Had dinner last night at an outdoor cafe near the marina.

Sitting on the opposite side from me was an arrogant loud-speaking guy, who became louder and more obnoxious with each beer he ordered.  Soon he started yelling, "Who's rollin' heavy?  Who else besides me is rollin' heavy?  Nobody?"

Then to prove his point, he left his server a $245 [two hundred and forty-five] dollar tip and staggered out.  He climbed into his truck and as he pulled from the parking lot, the driver's door flew open ... and he spilled out onto the pavement.

I was too far away to tell if he hit the ground still rollin' heavy.

--   --   --

If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over. I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.

- Leviticus 26:18-19

Buzzwords? I hate 'em

(humor)

Buzzwords ... those clever, trendy and irritating expressions that burst forth from nothingness to make the point that the speaker is blisteringly bright, without ever saying or meaning anything.

In the framework of The Bluebook, the next generation of posts will be dynamic and proactive, achieving a paradigm shift intended to leverage a synergism of coopetitive perspectives into a composite by employing a long tail approach, in the face of Web 2.0, to accomplish total geoweb immersion via knowledge process outsourcing, with virtually no carbon footprint whatsoever.

I have no idea what any of that means.

More buzzwords here.

Wow, you're so HOT in that blouse ... wanna move in and start messing up my life?

Because love and passion is new and unfamiliar territory to teenagers, they're likely to express their emotions with awed and significant terms like "True Love," "Forever" and "Always."

But shoot, I'm not talking about love-sick teenagers ... I'm talking about grown mens and womens.   Meaning, middle-aged folks ("middle age" means anyone older than me) with the experience and wisdom to behave better.

Or better behave.

Whether they're recently divorced, newly broken-up or long-term singles, wow ... when Love (meaning, lust) lands on their shoulders, shouldn't they know better than to pass-out with passion?  

Oh no, that's not the case at all.

I'm starting to think middle-aged folks fall harder and get knocked sillier than their middle-school counterparts ... folks in their 40s and 50s just go nuts with infatuation and daydreams: 

"Hey since we've known each other for almost two weeks, wanna move in and start helping me make critical life-altering decisions?  Like, should I change jobs so we can spend more time together?

"Should I cancel my health insurance at work, and get added to your coverage instead? 

"Should I pay off my charge cards or use the available credit to buy myself a new plasma TV?  Let's compromise, and use both our cards to take a 5-star vacation instead!"

Then three weeks later, as if proceeding according to an unspoken script, the relationship's over more quickly than it started, and the quest for passion continues unimpeded.  Each experience of falling in love is exciting and wonderful and each time feels new all over again.

Just seems handling the consequences of decisions forged in hot romantic fires would start getting OLD after a while.

Mushmouth Middle Road Universal Church of Context

The things you hear in the background, just by listening:

-When it comes to big issues like religion, what's true for you might not be true for me.

-So much about faith comes down to a matter of interpretation and personal opinion. It's up to each person to decide what's right ... and try to live according to the parts they believe.

-Everybody's situation is different and no one person or religion can point to a single solution that everybody's comfortable with.

-I don't want to alienate or offend anybody by sharing something as private as my faith. Besides, people might think I'm a kook.

Christ didn't keep his faith private: he was crucified and resurrected from the dead to save us ... because why? Because each person- except him- was born in the same situation as everybody else: it's called sin.

Jesus didn't worry much about mincing words and softening scripture to keep the flock happy, nor did he stop doing miracles because he was concerned people wouldn't like him.

And I doubt he's much afraid of folks who call his followers kooks and nut jobs, either.



The wicked man flees though no one pursues,
but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
- Proverbs 28:1


When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold and stouthearted.
- Psalm 138:3

Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.
- Acts 4:29

What's today's BTC?

What's today's Biggest Threat to the Church?

Does it come from internet porn, or the entertainment industry's assault on family and moral values? Or is the threat teenage pregnancy, drugs, liquor, gambling ... or shopping on Sundays?

Could today's Biggest Threat to the Church come from political instability in the Middle East, terrorism, or is it that guy running against my guy for President?

Or is it allowing worship services to become "relevant" and "contemporary" and reading from the NIV?

Or is today's threat the same old threat ... the one that happens when churches focus on becoming self-serving, rather than on being servants and serving the kingdom.

Mine Mine All Mine

Who doesn't mind giving a little ... especially when it's convenient, or makes others notice our "good works" ... and the difference in our share is hardly noticed.

But give up my pew to anybody who drags in and wants to sit there? Give up my voice in how things are done? Give up my music ... and every other church tradition I enjoy?

Why, that's like asking me to give up my church.


And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me
- Luke 22:29

What kind of man was Christ? (updated)

The popular image of a bearded, pale-faced and sad-eyed frail little man in a white robe clutching a lamb to his chest doesn't seem to represent Christ the way he's depicted in scripture.

A bearded lady-man would hardly have the conviction to whip and toss money changers from the temple, cast out chain-breaking demons, raise Lazarus from the dead, call himself the Son of God and willingly suffer and die in our place on the cross.

How would you describe a man like that?



Yet he saved them for his name's sake,
to make his mighty power known.
- Psalm 106:8

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
- Zephaniah 3:17

Who is this coming from Edom, 
       from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson? 
       Who is this, robed in splendor, 
       striding forward in the greatness of his strength? 
       "It is I, speaking in righteousness, 
       mighty to save."

- Isaiah 63:1

with a mighty hand and outstretched arm;
His love endures forever.
- Psalm 136:12

Oh boy, I can't believe how many "Can'ts"

I feel God is speaking to my heart and letting me know that salvation only comes through repenting, and believing in Jesus. But then does that I also mean ...


- I can't go to church unless I'm wearing a coat and tie?
- I can't read from any translation except the King James Version?
- I can't vote?
- I can't go to movies, listen to music or watch TV after 8 PM?
- I can't be friends with anyone who's not a believer?
- I can't go to a doctor of the opposite sex?


We cannot let man-made rules and traditions interfere with God's plan, or become more important than our relationship with Christ.

Evolution of a fairy tale - part 3

"No No No!" shout the evolutionists. "Apparently you haven't evolved sufficient brain capacity to understand!

"Evolution works because each environment is different, and evolution works by adapting each species to their environment."

That's an example of the pragmatic fallacy: the argument that something is true because it works ... when the meaning of "works" is vague and implies, "It's as much explanation as we need."

Or did I mean the ad hoc fallacy instead?

-- -- --

I've read pro-evolution arguments suggesting that the evidence in favor of evolution is so convincing, if a scientist really wanted to attract attention and make a name for himself, all he'd have to do is come up with proof that evolution doesn't work.

Implying of course, that no scientist anywhere can reasonably dispute evolution because if such a person existed, that scientist would become famous overnight.

But that's circular reasoning ... assuming your argument to be true because you believe it.

-- -- --

See, I'm guessing if a scientist really wanted to draw tons of attention to him/herself overnight, and have his/her name carved in scientific stone ahead of both Darwin's and Newton's, answering the question How Did Life Start? would sure do the trick.

Evolution of a fairy tale - part 2

Happy, Happy Answers Evolved Ahead of Every Question

The thought process of evolution is backwards. Where else would science allow a theory to begin with a conclusion, and then reason its way backwards (not deductively), to create optimistic allegories passing as proof:

Why do giraffes have long necks?

"Giraffes have long necks because, as their environment changed, only those individuals with 'long neck genetic drift' were physically able to reach higher limbs, eat the leaves there, and live long enough to reproduce and pass on their long-neck genes."

And why does a cactus have thorns?

"Because in its environment, only those individuals with 'thorny genetic drift' were physically able to resist being eaten, and live long enough to reproduce and pass along their thorn genes."

Never mind the slow process of genetic drift; if you were a giraffe, wouldn't you be happy that, while adapting to their environment, cacti didn't cross-breed with trees?

How would giraffes lucky enough to evolve with long necks have survived if trees had started sprouting thorns instead of leaves?

South African Cactus Tree

Hmmmm.

Evolution of a fairy tale

I was walking back to my boat and started thinking again about evolution.

Proponents argue it's "proven" and a "fact" ... but how can evolution evolve from theory to fact when evolution ignores this simple fact: Evolution does not explain how the very first cell, or whatever you choose to call it, changed its state from Not Alive to Alive.

Evolutionists already have an answer for that challenge, however, and argue that evolution isn't required to explain how life began, only how life changes ... especially to "evolve" new species, according to natural selection and genetic drift.

That's why evolution can skip past "How'd life start?" and still land at a gallop, explaining that human beings are the leaves dangling from the chimpanzee twigs of the primate branch extending from the vertebrate limb of Mr. Darwin's magic tree.

Evolution argues God's not necessary, and that DNA sequencing and the fossil record are proof. But proof of what ... if they don't know where DNA came from in the first place?

Why can't evolutionists refer back to pre-historic mud pies and mutations, do themselves a favor, and cast genetic runes to explain how life began?

Because (a) that's not in their job description; and (b) the answer lies above their pay grade.

What reasonable person's up at this hour?

Went to bed early last night at 9 PM, then woke up even earlier at 2:15 AM.

What's that old saying ... "Early to bed, early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"?

How about "Early to bed, earlier to rise, Makes this blogger grumpy, irritable and red-eyed."

Notes on Memorizing the Entire Bible

I don't have the gift of memorization.  I don't.

So instead of memorizing verses I'm left with trying to live them instead ... and this one's at the very top of my list:

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

- 1 John 4:8

When I've got that one nailed down, this one comes next:

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

-John 3:17

The "Who's More Holy" Lights Out Grudge Match

Wow, such anger in the blogosphere among believers.

OK, stop it.

The Challenge:

Imagine if Faith was like pro wrestling, and Big John Calvin challenged "Nature Boy" Free Will to a Loser-Must-Leave-Town grudge match. 

"Hey Free Bird, I'm calling you out.  Let's move to the same community, and live under the same roof.  We'll witness and preach the gospel as each of us believes Christ commanded, reaching people for Christ in the way we know best ...  for one month.  Then we'll see who's right, because no one's more holy than me and my traditions."

Maybe a handful of KJV-only folks would be at ringside, waiting to browbeat someone upside the head (literally, of course) .

Doest thine actions and confrontationalism proveth thine righteousness?

Nope ... and neither doest attacking other believers for thine own sake.

Fireworks at Fort McHenry

Quotable

"It is always easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."

- Alfred Adler

Friends, Fellowship and T-Bones

About a year ago I pulled out of my driveway and thought, "What if I ignored every stop sign on the way and just rolled on through each intersection, without even looking?"

What would happen?

Uh, as I drove on and mentally played out the experiment, I was shocked- not by how often I'd hear screeching brakes or the number of minor fender benders my bodywork would sustain- but by how many times I woulda been cleanly T-boned and knocked sideways  outta my seat, while merrily going my way.

Obeying traffic laws seems to make good sense, and keep me outta trouble.

-- --  --

Having fellowship with friends who love Christ is good.

Brent Sears gave me an overview of the message he'd be presenting this weekend at a FCA event down in Jacksonville: while wandering around the desert, the Israelites began grumbling and rebelling because of the hardships they endured on their way to Canaan.

They wondered why God put so many delays and obstacles in their path when, being sovereign, he already knew their final destination.  So why couldn't they just "pick up, go on and get there"?

Uh, could be because the Israelites weren't ready to receive the Promised Land ... as evidenced by all their suspicion, doubt and mistrust.

Or simply because God, in his infinite wisdom, had other plans.  Which points back to the Israelites' failure to stop whining and Trust.

--   --   --

Do we obey Christ because we expect him to keep us from getting T-boned in life's intersections, or because that's what he commands?  Do we look for our advantage first, or wait for satisfactory explanations, before deciding whose will to obey?  

Why are we willing to trust ourselves ahead of the Almighty?  Is it because we're eager to take short-cuts to get what we want ... even if it means short-circuiting God's plan?

--   --   --

How often do we find ourselves asking for explanations in our prayers?  "OK Lord, I'm ready to go.  It's time something changed, so what's the hold up?"

If we feel stuck in the desert of life*, and haven't yet arrived, figuratively, in the Promised Land ... could it be because we think we're willing to trust God ... so long as we see how trust benefits and satisfies ME?

* - Brent's term

Notes on Failing

While talking to Brent Sears last night on the phone, I realized that despite taking 3 posts to write "Church Ain't What It USED to Be" I'd still managed to miss the point I was trying to make when I started.

The first churches didn't have steeples, the members didn't dress up for services, didn't have organs or sing from hymnals, didn't organize protests, didn't burn scolls, didn't endorse political candidates, didn't boycott certain resorts on the Mediterranean and certainly weren't country clubs where believers bought pews, dug holes and hid out.

And I sincerely doubt that anyone became a member and joined the early churches because it was the cool, popular thing to do.

I believe the first churches were formed by ordinary people who'd seen Christ alive, crucified and resurrected and that the first churches were composed of followers who believed, and could not be dissuaded from believing, in Christ ... not to benefit or glorify themselves, but because they knew he was alive.

Imagine a church today filled with people who're convicted that Christ is alive because they had witnessed his love with their own eyes.

Nope ... church sure ain't what it USED to be.

Whatcha Watchin'?

Hello, Hemingway (1990)

"A young girl's academic asperation conflict with her family's struggle against poverty. Both these aspects are made all the more potent by the clear view they have of Ernest Hemingway's mansion in their home town just outside Havana." - imdb.com

Saved, and Out: What does "Church" mean?

What does "church" mean?  What's church all about, anyway?

I wonder how many believers think something like this:

1. The world is an evil place, and the Bible says we're to set ourselves apart from the world.  So we go to church to get away from evil and distance ourselves from sinners, because sinners keep sinning and deserve going to hell.

Well, you and I deserve hell too, and it's not our works or our righteousness that saved us.  We're also instructed in scripture to be like Christ, and Christ didn't hide from evil and Christ didn't run away from sinners: Christ closed the distance and loved. 

Other believers might answer: 

2.Church is where we go to be reminded that the only reason we're here on earth is to suffer and endure misery.  

But does the worship service also have to be a miserable event, and heap an extra hour of suffering on top of everything else we're here to endure?

If you enjoy sitting in the exact same pew every Sunday, being miserable and scowling at strangers and frowning at visitors, please Smile- I'm just asking  :-)

Thes next two answers might be my favorites:

3. Church is Heaven's waiting room

These folks believe church is Christ's waiting room ... a great place to huddle up, discuss what's wrong with everybody else (and their politics),  find fault with and gossip about each other, and just generally stand around smoking spiritual cigarettes.  In short, doing nothing.

Their approach seems to be, "Now that we're saved and safe doesn't that mean it's time to pack up our stuff, find a comfortable seat in the auditorium and wait for the Heaven Bus to take us home?"

No.  Scripture doesn't say that turning the body into a waiting room is what Christ commanded of his church.

4. Church is where God put me to straighten other people out

These believers are convinced that their spiritual gift is Being Critical and Condescending to Others.  They have all the answers without even needing to hear the question: just ask and they'll tell you they're not always right ... but they've never been wrong, either.  

These Big Shot Brothers can hardly wait to get to Heaven, and help God straighten things out there, too.  Folks like this tend to be selfish with contributing their money to the church, but quite generous with their unsolicited advice and opinions.

But generally, free advice is worth what you pay for it.

Maybe instead of trying to answer What does church mean? we could try asking,  What should church BE?

Let's go church-shopping for Insurance. Just in case.

[parody]

Eternity lasts for an awfully long time: you'll sleep better knowing your investment there is secure.

Let's face facts: lots can go wrong in life between today and the hereafter.   Maybe you've been wondering whether Grace Is Enough ... or do you need a little "Extry" insurance to feel secure and at peace?

Why not play life safe?  Let's go church-shopping and see what kinds of insurance are available, and determine which policy offers the most value and protection: 

Backrow Hell-Fire and Casualty

"Because who knows?  You might've missed something."

This is a traditional policy designed for believers who suspect they're saved, without ever being sure.  They're afraid they might sin (or read from the wrong translation), worry about overlooking some small legalism, and face the fiery furnace for falling short.  Note: each policy renewal requires rededication

Premium: Fluctuates with guilt    Deductible: Basic    Maximum Benefit: Minimum

Hole Life

"Do what Scripture says when you want to, but cover your assets when you have to."

A church-offered policy for today's successful, upscale customer who's interested in protecting their wealth and possesions, yet whose life constantly seems to keep leaking ... from the holes in their faith.  

Premium: Very High    Deductible: N/A    Maximum Benefit: lifetime asset protection

Term Life

"For the part-time believer who wants God there, just in case."

Who's always righteous, and never trips or stumbles?  If you're one of the millions of believers who like having their faith and denying it too, this policy is guaranteed to put a fat happy smile on your face --- and isn't 'Making Me Happy' what life's all about?

Premium: pay when coverage needed   Deductible: always   Maximum Benefit: pays per incident

Good Works and Righteousness Compensation

"Design your own deeds: finally a policy that allows you to save yourself!"

A customized church policy for the believer who wants others knowing he's more saved, worked harder and is more righteous than anyone else.   Insist on having the best: You're in good hands with your own hands.

Premium: custom      Deductible: Custom      Maximum Benefit: Allowed by Law

True Cross, True Shield

The total policy that answers every emergency and fits every need.  Only plan offering Eternal Salvation and Assurance.

Premium: Paid in Full    Deductible: infinite Grace period     Maximum Benefit: YES

Any vessel, any vessel in the area please respond

For the past two months I've been living on a 28-foot boat in one of the downtown marinas of a large mid-Atlantic city.

Even though I'm technically 160 miles from the ocean, it's still salt water with unpredictable weather, and the inner harbor is regularly navigated by tankers, freighters, warships the length of two football fields, tugboats and world-cruising mega-yachts.

But there's more ordinary folks in boats than anything else; regular people with unremarkable boats who're out on the water just trying to mind their own business, and have a good time.

--   --   --

No one goes leaves the security of dry land intending to have an emergency at sea.  But it seems you can turn the VHF radio to Channel 16 most any weekend, especially when storms or other hazardous conditions are forecast, and hear the badly frightened voices of boaters calling the Coast Guard for urgent assistance.

The vessels in distress aren't calling from the other side of the world: marine VHF radios have a very limited range under the best of conditions, which means the guy calling for help is close ... almost near enough to be in sight.  But even then, help isn't automatically on its way.

There's lots of legitimate reasons why the Coast Guard can't be like the pizza delivery guys and respond to every call in 30 minutes or less: when the wind starts howling and conditions get rough, there's ususally more than one guy foundering in a boat who needs immediate assisstance.

In the past eight weeks I've heard broadcasts similar to, "Coast Guard calling any vessel, any vessel in the area, please respond to [the emergency] at coordinates X, Y Z" almost a half-dozen times.  

The Coast Guard does not come on the air and announce, "Any vessel in the area please respond ... but only if you know the folks who're sinking and their skin's the same color as yours."

Nor does the Coast Guard ever say, "There's plenty of time, so discuss the situation and create an Action Committee.  Feel free to have a vote and offer suggestions before responding.  Don't worry about responding if you're uncomfortable getting involved, or not quite feeling up to responding ... and there's nothing selfish about turning off your radio and locking your doors if you'd rather not be disturbed."   

Never.

  

By law, any vessel capable of responding is required to show up and offer assistance ... and the penalties for failure to provide assistance reflect the serious nature of life-threatening emergencies at sea.

The Federal government doesn't fudge or back down from the seriousness of rendering assistance to folks in danger of being lost.

Which is the long way of getting around to the point:  Shouldn't churches be at least as serious about responding and rendering assistance to folks in danger of being lost?

VIOLATIONS OF INTERNATIONAL NAVIGATION RULES AND REGULATIONS (33 U.S.C. 1608)

§2304 Duty to provide assistance at sea

1. A master or individual in charge of a vessel shall render assistance to any individual found at sea in danger of being lost, so far as the master or individual in charge can do so without serious danger to the master's or individual's vessel or individuals on board.
2. A master or individual violating this section shall be fined not more than $1,000, imprisoned for not more than 2 years, or both.

Church Sure Ain't What It USED to BE - Part 3

Folks who complain about churches "not being what they used to be" or accuse congregations of "changing and becoming wordly, just to attract people" probably forgot that steeples and stained glass windows weren't part of the original churches' equation.

At least, believers fixated on "having old time church services, like we used to" seldom mention how pews, choirs, organs and dressing-up for church actually originated:

"Contrary to popular opinion, medieval Christians had no common practice of dressing up for church because nice clothes were only afforded by the wealthy.

"The growing prosperity of the middle class cultivated a craving for bigger and better houses, church buildings, and clothes.  Denominations with a greater proportion of wealthy members (e.g. Episcopal, Unitarian) began selling pews to wealthy families to fund elaborate church building improvements. 

"As the Victorian enculturation of the middle class progressed, fancier and more formal worship houses began to draw the influential people of society, so that the more populist congregations (e.g. Baptist, Methodist) had to work hard to try to keep up with improvements to their own facilities.  

"Borrowing from the Episcopalians, Methodist and Baptists began to bring choirs and organs into their worship services."  - source here

Funny, isn't it, how believers will fight any kind of Change to the last deacon standing, and argue themselves out the church door rejecting change, insisting upon "keeping things like they always have been."

Without once recognizing that steeples, pews and dressing-up for church are actually recent, modern changes incorporated to reflect and "keep up with the times."

Church Sure Ain't What It USED to Be - Part 2

Of course churches in Paul's day weren't anything like churches today.  Based on the information I've found, it doesn't look like the early churches even had buildings.

The church in Rome didn't have a building?  Why not?

Not because church leaders understood from the very beginning that there could be no building without first forming FINANCE and BUILDING COMMITTEES, but because the early Christians were often targets of political and religious persecution.  

Having a big new building where the faithful dutifully assembled at 11 AM every Sunday morning would've made the job of arresting the entire congregation and hauling them off to jail an easier task than deciding what color to paint the church bathrooms.

So the early churches most likely met in peoples' homes, and their services included singing hymns, reciting scripture and creeds, praying, and praising God.

--  --  --

The more I thought about it, the more I  wondered whether the first Christians set their finest robes aside on Saturday nights, and dressed up for church.  I kinda doubted it.

Not just because Peter and Paul warned against it, or because dressed-up people tended to be in palaces, but also because sneaking around all dressed-up on Sunday mornings between 10AM-12PM would've tipped off the Persecution Police.

So when did steeples, stained glass windows and dressing-up become rock solid trademarks of "church"?

Church Sure Ain't What It USED to Be - Part 1

When I was a kid, I figured the churches Paul wrote letters to were a lot like the church I knew.

Which meant they had red brick walls, stained glass windows,  big white columns at the front door and a shining steeple with a bell up top ... with signs near the sidewalk announcing something like, First Church of Rome or maybe Corinthian Baptist Church.

Oh, I understood enough to know the church at Ephesus probably didn't have an organ, but surely they had a choir, choir robes and a Minister of Music.  And after hearing the Sunday School report, he'd motion everyone to stand up from their pews and turn their hymnal scrolls open to sing #72 ... "With the first as the last."

(Since nobody had cars back in those days, I wonder where the deacons went after the service to stand around and smoke?)

That was my picture of what church must've been like 2000 years ago, because pews, steeples, stained glass windows and dressing-up make the building we know into a church.

Sounds silly and naive now, doesn't it?

But then I started wondering, what were the early churches really like?

The body is not a corpse

There's a scene in Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness that describes a warship lying off a remote coast in 19th century Africa, firing its cannons (at regular intervals) at the shore.

The men on board aren't aiming at anything; they're terminally sick, hallucinating and delirious with fever.

You gotta wonder why the captain, or an officer or any other leader, hadn't re-ordered their priorities before the situation became critical.

So what was leadership paying attention to instead?

-- -- --

When it became obvious the ship's crew was no longer effective- or even functioning coherently- why didn't someone step up and take charge?

Even if it meant thinking outside the ship, challenging man-made rituals and routines, and asking "Are we doing anything worthwhile out here, or are we just following ourselves in circles and making each other sick?"

-- -- --

The men in Conrad's story, allegedly based on true events, were like zombies ... robot-ing their way through the last days of their lives, adhering to strict traditions like "duty, " "regulation" and "conduct of high standing," even though their "approbation to their county" meant they were sick, dying, and sailing around in circles.

Literally, no one was willing to endanger their position and status by rocking the boat.

-- -- --

At the instant before the last man left on board lit the last fuse, fired the last canon (without a clear target, except perhaps his own helplessness) and collapsed for the last time to die at his station, did he understand what happened and why they had failed?

Could he have explained that blind subordination to man-made regulations, self-serving goals and lofty ambition had trapped them in place, blinded their vision and made their commission inert and ineffective?

Could the last man standing watch at the helm have admitted that stubborn self-absorption ... and not an enemy ... had poisoned their purpose, and left their will vulnerable to defeat?

But what am I supposed to do when ...

What's the biggest impact my faith in Christ is having on my life?  The truth is, being a believer makes working, and interacting, with other people seem so hard.  And I don't even wanna start talking about how faith affects dating ... and the possibility of ever getting married.

I mean, outside of church, nobody believes or trusts religion any more.  Hardly anybody ever talks about God,  and people who don't believe seem to automatically feel entitled to provoke or make fun of me.  Like I'm the one who's doing something wrong.

So what am I supposed to do?

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

- 1 Peter 5:7-10

Diamonds on the Inside

If you're inclined to bristle because I quote lyrics here from a secular song, please don't.

The application, compared to the potential for misinterpretation, still seems worthwhile.

When you have everything

You have everything to lose.

Make sure the fortune that you seek

Is the fortune that you need

What you say and do not mean
Follows you close behind

Like the soldier long standing under fire

Any change comes as a relief

Let the givers name remain unspoken
She is just a generous thief

She had diamonds on the inside

She wore diamonds in the inside.

Ben Harper

"Diamonds on the Inside"

Me and My Church don't always see eye to eye

No, wait a minute-   ooops.

I don't have a church.

The church belongs to Christ ... the problem must be with me, and the I, and the I.

I'd rather be right than righteous

Why do believers have so many different labels to identify their "religion" and insulate themselves from other believers?

Some groups of followers seem to spend more time arguing about being "right" on every issue, from which text is the "right" translation, to which political candidate is the "right" choice for president and whether it's "right" to play guitars in church, than they do preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Is that what Christ commanded?  

Is his sacrifice honored by cliques, quarreling and score-settling?  Is The Prince of Peace glorified by name-calling, diviseness or factionalism in his church?

so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

- Romans 12:5

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

- Ephesians 4:2-6

Asking for miracles

We're so used to asking God to give us what we want, sometimes we wonder what's wrong with his hearing:

"Here's what I want, it's not that hard, and I know you can hear me.  I can't make you do anything, so let your will be done."

But what happens if God answers,

Here's what I want, it's not that hard, and I know you can hear me.  I can't make you do anything, so let your will be done.

When evil means "I'm bigger than you"

One definition of evil might be, "An eagerness to inflict, or to cause, physical pain to another person; most often to create or to affirm dominant Superior/Inferior roles; to 'teach a  lesson' and thus gain the satisfaction of involuntary control or authority; to perpetuate violence against another as a right; to cause or to seek humiliation, especially as a means of sadistic self-affirmation; to use fear or violence as a means of expression or communication in the pursuit of,  or to further, a self-glorifying agenda; usually explained as a birthright or entitlement."

The definition's not perfect, but it does fit pretty close when it comes to describing the mind-set of torturers, terrorists and tyrants.

--   --   --

But it also describes the frenetic compulsion of adults who feel "Responsible Parenting" first and foremost means grabbing a belt whenever they feel like it, and spanking the asphalt outta their kids.

Oh sure, getting spanked hurt back when they were kids, but "spanking done did me good!"  

When a little person gets angry or frustrated about not having his way, he still needs that lesson, the infliction of pain, to get re-focused and be reminded who's in charge.

I mean that, what I'm saying is, the little person is the parent who entitles himself to start spanking.

 

"He'll hurt you with his wheels"

Carl von Clausewitz was a 19th century Prussian military officer and the author of the definitive treatise about conflict titled "On War."

Some of Clausewitz's principle ideas included:

- understanding the distinction between "absolute" or "ideal war," and "real war"

- the importance of "moral forces" (more than simply "morale"), as opposed to quantifiable physical elements

-expecting, and adjusting for, unpredictable chance ... i.e. "the fog of war"

-"the culminating point of the attack" ... the turning point at which attack becomes defense

-"the culminating point of victory" ... loosely paraphrased, when the attacker wins, but still isn't sure who'll wake up tomorrow blacker and bluer

Clausewitz taught that War is comprised of four elements: Danger, Physical Effort, Uncertainty, and Chance.

--   --   --

So why am I mentioning him here?  Because ...

The enemy expects total victory, and we cannot make the mistake of believing he's engaged in anything less than all-out war.

We can never refuse to take the offensive because, after consulting with the Church Steering Committee, re-reading the minutes, voting and carrying the motion, we're convinced there's no way we can win.

We can never approach any task half-heartedly, half-prepared, armed with half-measures, and then expect God to take up our slack.

We serve the one living God, the King of Kings, and reject the burdens, limitations and self-righteousness of man-made rules, rituals and traditions.

Christ came to earth and died on the cross to give us victory through him ... not to prepare us to lose or to give up, to fail and point fingers, to form quorums and re-write God's plan or to huddle-up and reminisce about the wayeth we used to doeth things at mine olde church .

Much less to give us the option of "being too busy," "not having enough time" or "not being entirely onboard" ... and making excuses for disobedience.