"Hai-Koi" Poemetry

-humor

My excellent and technological friend Ken's been after me to take up Twittering. So far I've resisted, arguing I'm too long-winded; the other night he suggested Haiku might be the answer.


"Flirting with Goldfish"

I caught the gaze of
A koi seduced by shadows
Reflections, not me.

A Comprehensive Plan for Local Church Success

"We had a meeting, took proposals, created a committee, held a dozen votes, fired a Minister of Music, threatened the preacher, had four members withdraw their tithes and 2 deacons storm out in disgust, but we finally re-painted the church restrooms. Without going over budget."

It's Friday

I lifted this post & Love It because it's so completely without rust:

“'Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.'

Philippians 1:6 is true and He is so much larger than we could ever imagine."

a tale of two believers

One believer embraces religion as proof of his superiority. Because his faith is based on fear and uncertainty, he testifies to his own inerrant righteousness, and lives his faith to justify and glorify himself. He wants to praise God by doing Him favors.

Another believer embraces Christ as proof of God's word. Because his faith is based on love and the resurrection, he testifies to Christ's righteousness, and lives his faith to honor and glorify God. He wants to praise God by being His slave.

Financial Freedom Experience!

Joe Sangl's entire five-session Financial Freedom class will be taught in just one weekend! The class times are:

Friday, January 25^th, 6:30PM – 9:00PM

Saturday, January 26^th, 9:30AM – 1:00PM

Complete the entire Financial Freedom Experience in just one weekend! This five-session class will teach you how to get your finances in order, use your tax refund in the best way possible, pay cash for Christmas 2008 and avoid those nasty credit card bills.

• Cost of the class is $20/individual or $30/family

More info here.

Great Reading Weather

134 Bible Contradictions Explained

I haven't read 'em all yet, but this looks like the kinda weather made for reading.

ps. Earlier this week I got a copy of The Apologetics Study Bible and have had a hard time putting it down.

2fer Wednesday

"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'Thy will be done.'"
C.S. Lewis

"This, then, is the judgement: the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. For everyone who practices wicked hates the light and avoids it, so that his deeds may not be exposed.

But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God."
-John 3:19-21

sounds of silence

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Never mind ... you're not a dog

Your calling might tell you different ... especially if "different" means looking your own way.
But then, somebody else got that calling, rrrrright?

soLiD.



The college football championship's been decided, the Golden Globes got canceled ... and the election's not until November. So try watching these instead:


Hotel Rwanda - 2004
Sometimes in April - 2005
Beyond the Gates [Shooting Dogs} - 2005
The Devil Came on Horseback - 2007

from Kenya

Kenya's turmoil triggers underlying problems

Posted: 8 January, 2008

Kenya (MNN) ? Audio Scripture Ministries partners in Kenya reported that the greatest danger is being out and about.

There are roving vans on the roads around the airport in Nairobi, attacking at random. "Many of our partner ministry teams left Nairobi and went to their villages. The ones who were in town basically were forced to hole up in their homes; that is, they are trying to get off the roads and just out of sight until things calm down," said ASM's Tom Dudenhofer.

As their partner ministries look to the future, the current situation may open doors for people to hear the Gospel.

"People are going to be looking for some answers. The country of Kenya is known as having a long-time influence of Christianity but that the Christianity in the country is very shallow," said Dudenhofer. He said that Kenya is one of the worst places for corruption in Africa. "There's a lot of shallow, moral dissatisfaction with the way things have been going, and people really, really need to get a grip on what it means to be a Christian. They need to get into God's Word, which is one of the real causes for so much of the shallow Christianity."

Belief, Conviction and boating on the Delaware

I believe George Washington crossed the Delaware River on Christmas night 1776, to attack the Hessian troops in Trenton. I believe that's a literal fact.

But I don't measure myself or live according to Washington's life. Even though I just professed my belief.

I mean, nobody would ever look at me and think, "Now there's a guy who totally lives according to his conviction that Washington crossed the Delaware." Even though I absolutely, honestly and completely believe that it happened. I just choose not to have my life affected by what I believe. I mean, not by all of my beliefs.

Hmmmm .... now that it's Monday and I start thinking about it, what I believe about Washington crossing the Delaware is a private matter ... and nobody else's business.

The 20 Richest Women in Entertainment

From Forbes -

1. Oprah Winfrey
2. J.K. Rowling
3. Martha Stewart
4. Madonna
5. Celine Dion
6. Mariah Carey
7. Janet Jackson
8. Julia Roberts
9. Jennifer Lopez
10. Jennifer Aniston
11. The Olsen Twins
12. Britney Spears
13. Judge Judy
14. Sandra Bullock
15. Cameron Diaz
16. Gisele Bundchen
17. Ellen DeGeneres
18. Nicole Kidman
19. Christina Aguilera
20. Renee Zellweger

Kenya Church Massacre

From Reuters.

From The International Herald Tribune.


From the BBC.

Kenya's crisis spreads gloom over Africa

Thu 3 Jan 2008, 12:31 GMT

By Barry Moody

NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenya's sudden spiral into chaos after years as a regional anchor has badly set back Africa's democratic progress and will strike a heavy blow against the economies of a wide swathe of neighbouring nations.

In a few turbulent days since a tarnished election on Dec. 27, Kenya has gone from democratic hope to disaster, from a country seen as an island of stability in a dangerous region to a new trouble spot torn by ethnic bloodletting.

The election, which Kenya's opposition says was rigged to re-elect President Mwai Kibaki, ended a year in which democratic hopes in Africa had already been dented by a totally discredited poll in Nigeria and turmoil in the politics of South Africa, the continent's economic locomotive.

"This is the greatest setback to Africa's reputation since the 60s. Kenya has an iconic status, seen as synonymous with Africa," said Kenya expert Michael Holman.

But analysts do not believe Kenya's crisis will contaminate other nations politically.

"The politics of every country in Africa are very, very separate. African politics are all local and all personal ... I don't think it has any wider implications at all," said Richard Dowden, director of the Royal African Society.

Control Risks senior Africa analyst Chris Melville agreed: "While Kenya is at the heart of an unstable region, we do not consider that the current situation will significantly contribute to regional instability in the short-term."

Chinese New Year?

Nee hao ma?

Oh yeah before I forget, I almost forgot.

The other night Fran & I did Chinese; this is how I like my spring rolls:

Where you can just barely see 'um, under the hot mustard.

PPS- This is what Fran got from Shawn for Christmas, oh wow:

Most Popular of 2007

Here's The Blue Book's Top Posts of '07:

5. The Source of All Leaks
4. Here's MY Plan
3. Farewell, Old Friends
2. From the "Snooze n' Lose" Department
1. Have A Very Mastodon Christmas

Poverty Theology

"In a nutshell, it [Prosperity Theology] suggests that a God who loves you does not want you to be broke.

"In a TIME poll, 17% of Christians surveyed said they considered themselves part of such a movement, while a full 61% believed that God wants people to be prosperous. And 31%--a far higher percentage than there are Pentecostals in America--agreed that if you give your money to God, God will bless you with more money.

"Who would want to get in on something where you're miserable, poor, broke and ugly and you just have to muddle through until you get to heaven?" asks Joyce Meyer, a popular television preacher and author often lumped in the Prosperity Lite camp. "I believe God wants to give us nice things." -source

Oye Como Va

This is what I missed most about Christmas.


Scachatta.

Yep, uh huh

About a week ago I had the opportunity to go shooting with the surgeon who did the PRK-procedure on my eyes.

What may have been the most memorable moment of 2007 occurred right after he suggested I try firing a Jeffery 450 #2 Nitro Express ... from the bench rest. Just to check my aim.

Left to right - .450 N.E., .500/.450, .450 no.2, .465 and .470.

Hahahaha 45 minutes later, generally satisfied neither my nose nor right hand was broken, I felt like I was marginally OK to drive home.

Later that night I told TPW on the phone, "What happened? I just don't remember recoil affecting me that much."

After listening to me whine and complain for 15 minutes she said, "As long as I've known you, you always come back from shooting whining about how much such-and-such rifle kicks."

--- ----

One day we'll talk more about it.

One day we'll talk more about stepping aboard the Nitro Sleigh Ride. One day we'll talk about leaving the trigger, flying along the rifle's front sight and feeling the primer's ignition blow 3 tons of kinetic energy down the slim 110-year old barrels resting between your bare, unprotected fingers. One day we'll talk about ...

"Yeah," she said. "Now stop talking about it."

But are you sure ...?

Have you ever imagined what it woulda been like to live 2000 years ago, and met Christ during His ministry ... in the flesh? Eye to eye with God, up close and personal.

I especially wonder what it must've been like for the disciples ... the twelve chosen to spend three years in day to day existence with Jesus. To have had that much time to know Him, and ask any questions to clear up any issues of doctrine or theology whatsoever.

What strikes me, in reading the gospel accounts, is that I can't find anyone, not even the Pharisees, taking time to ask Christ:

-Is it okay to include harp music in worship?
-Is it lawful to clap in synagogue?
-When will organs and stained glass windows be invented ... and where should we meet until then?
-What's the absolutely right number to form a church Finance and Steering Committee?
-Does "tithe" mean net, or gross?
-How do we make grape juice?
-Exactly how much are you earning, and why didn't we get to vote on it first?
-When you come back to earth, the first thing you'll do is tell everybody else that our faction was right, won't you?
-What's a Disney World?

... not from a portable sign

Evil quickly rewards both weakness and compromise.

Wait'll next year

First off, ya'll know I don't have a dog in the Clemson-USC fight, but thought both camps might enjoy seeing what Fran got me for Christmas.

She asked if I was gonna wear it in Africa. I nodded Yes ... I'll explain that the shirt celebrates "The amazing American fighting chicken." I think that's kuchi ajabu marekani, in Swahili.

Wow.

Ho ho ... uh oh

We all know what "interest" means: it's the price paid for using credit or money. But why does Interest exist in the first place?

Here's some theories:

1. The Time-Preference Theory explains interest "as an inducement to "engage in time-consuming but more productive activities"
2. Liquidity-Preference Theory explains interest as "an inducement to sacrifice a portion of liquidity for a nonliquid contractual obligation"
3. According to Marxist theory, interest is "a portion of labor expropriated by the capitalist class by virtue of its political power"

Here's a word we don't hear often enough: Usury

usu·ry \'yü-zhə-rē, 'yüzh-rē\ n, pl -ries [ME usurie, fr. AF, fr. ML usuria, alter. of L usura, fr. usus, pp. of uti to use] (14c)
1 archaic: interest
2 : the lending of money with an interest charge for its use ; esp: the lending of money at exorbitant interest rates
3 : an unconscionable or exorbitant rate or amount of interest ; specif: interest in excess of a legal rate charged to a borrower for the use of money

"In Old English law, the taking of any compensation whatsoever was termed usury [emphasis added]. With the expansion of trade in the 13th century, however, the demand for credit increased, necessitating a modification in the definition of the term."

"The total amount of consumer debt in the United States stands at nearly $2.5 trillion dollars - and based on the latest Census statistics, that works out to be nearly $8,200 in debt for every man, woman and child that lives here in the US."

Sources:
-Merriam Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus
-"interest." Encyclopædia Britannica. Ultimate Reference Suite. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, 2007.)
-Money-zine.com

The Hawking's Socks Paradox

Wash n' Wear Inside the Event Horizon

Last night I recorded a show about Black Holes on the Science Channel. What I learned was that anything crossing a Black Hole's "Event Horizon" becomes forever trapped by its gravity ... and eventually disappears within an infinite crush of space-time.


I don't pretend to understand the math, but I'm pretty sure that's what happens to socks inside the washing machine, too.



(Above: Un-retouched photo of an actual Black Hole, recently discovered while doing my laundry.)

What?! Notevena Cantata?

It's the time of the year for folks who have zero interest in anything other than criticizing and condescending to start asking, "What's your church doing for its Christmas service?"

Doing? You mean like ...

"Like a Christmas cantata. Or a candlelight service."

Not that I know of.

"Doesn't your church have a choir?"

No.

"So your church isn't doing anything special for Christmas?"

Special? Ah, I thought teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ was special ... and all that ultimately matters.


I'm not sure what the word "Cantata" means, anyway.

No reason to cell-ebrate; No Gripe with Skype

Vernon called the other night.

First thing I asked him was, "Are you in the States?" because the connection was so clear, it sounded like he was calling from a pay phone on the parking lot. Yet he was calling from his cell, south of the equator, not far from the Kenya border.

The point is: the clearest calls I get are consistently from Tanzania and the worst, hardest to hear and de-scramble calls come from folks ... well, I won't name names (but their phones can store and play every episode of Heroes and LOST in Hi-Def).

Anyway, based on my anecdotal experiences (and that's all that matters, sure) I think US cell phone companies should be ashamed of themselves. Truly & I mean it.

I've called and talked to Vernon while he was traveling on dirt roads scores of miles removed from pavement, in the fourth poorest country on the planet with no reception problems whatsoever, yet the coverage in the quadrant roughly defined by I-85, Highway 81 and Lake Hartwell and River Street is abysmal.

From the "I Don't Care if it's Christmas, I STILL HATE WINDOWS" Department:
Bah, software bug. Each time Windows warns of a "Critical Update" waiting to be installed, you run the risk of getting Scrouged.

The Dark Side of RULES N' LEGALISM

My biggest motivation in comitting to rules and adhering to tradition is that then, I can focus on "What I Can Get Away With Because There's No Rule Saying I Can't Do It" ... and point back to the rules themselves, to justify & condone my own sinfulness.

It's easier to love tradition and follow rules than it is to love God, follow Christ and hear the Holy Spirit.

I hate you because God loves me & MY RELIGION most

“Last Christians of Bethlehem” 2007 National Geographic Channel

Did you ever read anything like this?

16 Argue and shout loudly, disputing often among yourselves, and accuse each other of scandal, of breaking rules you created and those things you do not understand, 17 that the world might look to you as an example, 18 and see the father in all things.

19 Verily thy religion saves thee, and sayest unto thee, Thou lookest exceedingly sharp in thine store-bought threads, 20 thine ride and car payments spell glory in letters reaching into heaven. 21 Truly thine plastic burden proveth none among men is as important and righteous as thee in thine own eyes.

22 For truly there is no room in heaven for both thee and me, my right-hand and most righteous man, 23 who wisely chose when to be born and exalted,.

24 The creator thanks thee for watching his back and says,

25 I couldn’t keep it together without thee.

No, some may have imagined it, but Scripture doesn’t say that.

Note: gasping Thee or Thine at dinner-time (in front of relatives who don’t know your name) doesn’t make you righteous, or make the food more satisfying … much less impress God in the least.

Famous Face Book - Here's the Answers

For a gold-zillion points, could you name these famous faces?


Jim Fisk












Daniel Drew
















Cornelius Vanderbilt





Jay Gould
"In his lifetime and for a century after, Gould had a firm reputation as the most unethical of the 19th century American businessmen known as robber barons. Many times he allowed his rivals to believe that he was beaten, then sprang some legal or contractual loophole on them that completely reversed the situation and gave him the advantage. He pioneered the practice, now commonplace, of declaring bankruptcy as a strategic maneuver. He had no opposition to using stock manipulation and insider trading (which were then legal but frowned upon) to build capital and to execute or prevent hostile takeover attempts. As a result, many contemporary businessmen did not trust Gould and often expressed contempt for his approach to business. Even so, John D. Rockefeller named him as the most skilled businessman he ever encountered."


John D. Rockefeller

From the "BIG TUESDAY SO WHAT?" Department:
These were some of the richest guys who ever lived, at least in modern terms. But besides having almost unimaginable wealth, they shared a few other things as well:

1. None ever owned an Ipod
2. None ever owned a computer or sent an e-mail
3. None even owned a color TV. Or cell phone. Or had any idea what "MasterCard" meant.

Hmmm, all those millions still wasn't enough to buy an Ipod? Man, that had to be rough.

Here’s MY Plan

1) I’m gonna go church-shopping till I find one I like ... one with a deep discount, that (a) tolerates my self-important ambition to be a big shot & make my own rules; or (b) either overlooks or permits the sins that give me the most physical pleasure & satisfaction ... and generally makes me feel good about ignoring God's plan for my life

Adjunct: I call the shots in my life, not the Holy Spirit

2) I don’t mind giving MY money to the church … so long as God rewards me (success, a relationship, material success) as much as I deserve. Beforehand.

Adjunct: My cash = my voice in church and all other decisions

Hey now.

If cell phones existed that could take calls across 2000 years of time, would you be too busy to take Christ's call today?

Huh? Aw gee Joe, that’s stupid & obvious and I'm starting to think you take all this stuff way too seriously! Heck oh yeah, I’d live my life different if I knew Jesus was about to call me on the phone, for Pete's sake.

What about right now ... when He stands at your door and knocks?


Where'’s the problem ... are ya blaming a loose connection for any ourtstanding communication issues?

Misc crumbs from the cupboard ...

1. The BassMaster Classic will be held on Lake Hartwell in February, 2008.

Professional bass fishermen are already converging from across the US in preparation for the tournament ... and employing the latest GPS satellite technology to identify the most likely spots where "The Biggest Catch" might be lurking.

Hint: With 87 square miles of lake to explore, why must the monster bass be hiding under my window? Just asking, say.


2. Einstein said more than E=mc2:
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has
limits." - Albert Einstein

"If they wanna see me, here I am. If they wanna see my clothes, show them my closet."
- Albert Einstein

3. From a neck-down guy:
"The first man to earn your affection could change the course of history."
-joe hall
August 18, 2007

4. Quote from a friend
"Who knows what a Puffin thinks?"
-Tatiana Del Rio

This was yesterday evening

This was yesterday afternoon

\

This was yesterday morning

We're from the bank and we're here to help you: Now stick 'em up

Bank of America, Wachovia, PNC Report New Loan Losses (Update3)
By David Mildenberg and Hugh Son

Dec. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Bank of America Corp., Wachovia Corp. and PNC Financial Services Group Inc. said losses tied to bad debt will be worse than expected, providing fresh evidence that credit markets aren't returning to normal. -original source here

Hmmm, ... wonder whether our Bank Buddies are gonna shrug off their losses with big red faces, admit their unbridled avarice ... and learn a lesson about fiscal responsibility?

Will banks finally wise up n' buckle down ... no longer writing risky loans or issuing "credit cards" to folks who're already over-extended & unable to make minimum monthly payments?

Or, can we expect them to:

1) Raise interest rates & minimum monthly payments for "marginal" borrowers (folks with variable-interest mortgages and debt cards)
2) Mass-mail enticing new offers to "even more marginal" borrowers/debtors
3) Lay off "non-essential personnel" (i.e. bottom-tier bank employees; not the folks responsible for banks' lending practices) "as a response to the disappointing current economic downtrend"?
4) Resort to predatory lending by writing increasingly-risky loans (before their competitors do)
5) Increase fees & service charges; create new ones; offer fewer services
6) Argue that "Stealing isn't stealing when stealing is protected by law"

But isn't that Free Enterprise? Ain't that how Capitalism works?

Banks hire lobbyists and make huge political contributions to manipulate the legislative process and enact laws penned in their corporate board rooms intended to guarantee their profits.

That how we end up with The Best Government Money Can Buy.

"I saw you at church Sunday"

I've known Ke for at least six months ... but didn't know till tonight that we go to the same church.

judge as I say, not as I do

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
-Matthew 7:1-2

Something occurred to me yesterday: we tend to remember that passage as Christ's warning against making negative judgments, but does it equally apply to judging things we might like and want- things that seem attractive and totally desirable-- that we just might want for ourselves?

Like, when we make judgments about others, "So-and-so has the total package ... a fairy-tale marriage to the perfect spouse, wonderful kids, great looks, fame, prestige, deep-pocket wealth and every other sign of material success ... exactly all the things I want in my life, too."

Lest others judge you to be superficial, shallow, vain and selfish?

wish in one hand ...

I wish Peter Tosh had done his own cover of "Never My Love."

Wouldn't his reggae version have been cool? Sure, sure it would.

Team Effort

"Ding-A-Ling, make I help you?" Department

As Christmas approaches, The G is slammed sideways with folks anxiously calling in their dinner reservations ... and nothing works better than having a guy manning the desk who can't figure which end of the phone to talk into.

Use A Hoe

As ya'll know, the lake level is down to record lows ... and life here in Marina City ain't always a beach. Especially when it comes to looking out for & taking care of the critters.

Below is a photo of the actual lake bottom (i.e. mud) emerging between Docks 7 & 8

The lake is so shallow, even geese are getting their paddlers stuck in the bottom.


Next, we find an unused backhoe parked on the beach near Dock 12:


Suddenly, a concerned local points to a pending Emergency:


"Uh Oh, oh no! The lake is so shallow, now Hansel and Gretl have their feets stuck in the bottom, too!"

Your faithful servant and host catches a gear, and digs the ducks a way outta the muck

Ducks must swim, and swim free.

For All My Friends Who're CLEMSON FANS ...

I lifted this image from F's blog.

Memory Mayhem

I started thinking about this post the other day, then forgot about it ...

I'm terrified of dropping my phone into the lake because if I do I'm not sure who I'll remember to call (I know it's only a matter of time before it happens, too).

So as a mental exercise to prove a point to myself, I decided to write down the names of the folks whose phone numbers I've actually committed to memory. Thus,

Ken
DJ
New Spring Office
Mike
Anzie
Fran & AB
Dr. Billy
Bruce R.
My folks in Fla

Wow. Eeeeh ... the "D" does stand for "Dummy" after all.

Un-laxing on Saturday with The Blue Book

-just some miscellaneous wanderings & gatherings ...


Today DJ is getting married:
Playing under the lights in Clemson's own Death Valley, my friend JJ's Ladies Tag Football Team won the Clemson Championship . JJ (who I know from The G and from NewSpring) plays running back:

How Low Can It Go? Department
I heard the lake is down 19 feet, and the drought might bottom out at 35-feet below Full Capacity by February.

Here's a photo (above) I took next to Dock 12, where the old Portman Road is making a surprise appearance after a nearly 50-year absence.

What direction does The Golden Compass point to? Department
Huh?

Have A Very Mastodon Christmas

(this post is from the Whimsy & Imagination Department, c.1880) M.K. Owen 4 Bore "Mastodon"

Cal./Gauge: 4 Bore Rifled Barrel (.995" Bore Diameter)!! Chamber(s): 4", 4 1/2" COL Barrel(s): 22 1/2" Weight: 29 Lbs. Sights/Scope: 2 Leaf rear, Ramped white bead front Trigger(s): Double Triggers Stock: Classic comb, with cheekpiece, checkering Stock Dimensions: 14 1/4" LOP Fore End: Splinter, with checkering Butt/Pad: Red rubber recoil pad Metal Condition: Excellent Wood Condition: Excellent Bore Condition: As new Manufacture Date: 2005 Extras: Fitted Aluminum hard case

First of all, this gun is MASSIVE! The scale of the 4 bore is truly amazing, and yet, it breaks opens and locks up like a fine English shotgun. Second, it mounts and balances like a fine shotgun. (That weighs 29 pounds). The barrels are 22 1/2", with a bore diameter of .995". The cartidge case is 4" tall, and the Cartridge overall length is 4 1/2". This M.K. Owen built gun is regulated for a 2000 grain bullet travelling at 1400 fps, and is on at 50 yards. It is patterned after the only H&H built 4 bore proofed for smokeless powder, and features a back action sidelock action, and Purdey style lugs with a Greener crossbolt for the third bite. The firing pins are bushed. The receiver and metalwork is fully engraved by A.B. Bradshaw, and features a Mastodon, sabre tooth tigers, and assorted dinosaurs. It is our understanding that Owen built only five of these, and that he will make no more.

Sunsets Redux

I don't like shooting in color; I don't like "pretty" pictures; most of all I look past pictures of sunsets. So then what do I do?

I turn right around and indulge in a sunset binge :-)

Hope's Sunset

My friend Hope a/k/a Hopie, The Hopester, took this photo with her phone.


Thursday's Hope, You ROCK! Sunset Playlist:
Tomorrow Never Knows - Phil Collins

skip it

Yep, I was up at 3 AM this morning. It sounded like a giant metal spider was walking back and forth over the dock.

Of course I coulda got outta bed, gone outside and checked to find out, but two things prevented me:

(1) If I'd spotted a 40-ft tall metal spider walking across Lake Hartwell at 3 AM, you wouldn't believe me

(2) If a 40-ft tall metal spider is content to mind his own business and keep on moving, then that's perfectly fine with me


ps. I'm pretty sure it was just the wind ...

Blog Lite:The Story of a Haircut (told in pictures)

Ever wondered what yer face looks like while you're getting yer hair shampooed?

Ever wondered if everybody becomes Papa Bear at some point, and their water is either "too hot" or "too cold"? {Bear with me; I'm not good on my fairy tales}


Here's where Mel reminds me the future is a place about 70 miles east of here ... after talking me through traffic on the drive over. Are we cool? We cool.


Afterwards I get lost again on the drive home and simply wave at people peering into the truck, explaining "Excuse me, but Thank You Very Much."

Chewbacca-row Baptists

-See: The Chewbacca Defense; wherein "The aim of the argument is to deliberately confuse."

I gotta tell ya up front, I been feeling ill (for non-Southerners, that means angry) for about a week following the latest telephone conversation (previously mentioned) in what feels like a long, pointed but pointless series of telephone calls.

Look, it's not honorable, funny, amusing, insightful, beneficial, righteous, pious, illuminating or in any way impressive or Christ-like to attack, criticize or ridicule another believer's church with double-talk and word puzzles, or condescend to any part of their worship service just because it's not the style of worship you're familiar with.

Jabba the Baptist

"Send us another fresh pastor, that the flock may consume and devour him."

"More from you because how great are our needs!"

Man Up; Mac Out

You cannot have a Mac/Apple and a Man Card: They are mutually exclusive ... and Mac has gobs of exciting new designer colors just dying to make this point for me.

Period. There. End of discussion.

Maxed Out

See Maxed Out before charging another penny on a charge card.

It might make your blood boil; it might make you think LONG & HARD about gumming up your life, your relationships and your future with plastic glue.