Monday, February 04, 2008

What's that in the lake, a duck?

Are ya tired of reading my long-winded boat stories?

You should be there when they're happening in real-life: I'm especially tired of living them.

I pulled up the anchor this morning and decided to circle the unfamiliar little island before heading back, so I'd be more familiar next time out.

So then I see a duck about thirty feet ahead, slightly off to the right. But as I get closer the duck shows no indication of moving. When I'm about 20 feet away I realize it ain't no duck.

It's the top of a tree.

Never mind that the depth finder indicated there was 35 feet of water underneath me: the lake's down almost 20 feet and all sorts of stuff that's been submerged for 40 years has started rearing up from the bottom. I jerked both engines into reverse and crept backwards like a blind mouse right outta there.

Well, I'm sure I had a point when I started ... I'm just glad it's not protruding through the bottom of the hull.

Seems like there's always seams somewhere

8:23 AM
-same GPS coordinates

It's raining hard right now and I'm pleasantly surprised Calypso's 24-year old canvas top is keeping 99% of the water out.

A 99% success rate sounds pretty good ... except that it's 47 degrees outside and a 47 degree body-bath don't feel good.

Funny how leaks seem to show up most often near seams in the fabric, hmmm.

UFO over Lake Hartwell

7:05 am
N 34 29.65
W 082 48.471

Ok that was weird.

I anchored out last night near an unnamed island. Then a few minutes before dawn this morning I glanced out Calypso's port port (left window) just in time to see a bright, pulsing white light streak across the sky.

It's impossible to estimate an object's size and speed without knowing its distance, but what I saw was too low and way too fast to be an airplane: it moved through a 90-degree field of view in about 6 seconds ... in other words it would've appeared at one horizon and disappeared at the other in about 12 seconds.

Whoa.

I jumped to the helm for a better look before the light totally disappeared from sight ... and immediately encountered the unexpected: the light was attached to a radio tower on shore and towers don't fly,

The light appeared to be moving at an incredible speed because Calypso was pivoting counter-clockwise on her anchor line.

So there ya go. Boats move; radio towers not so much. End of mystery.

Sorry to report there were no flying saucers diving to their secret base at the bottom of Lake Hartwell, no little green men in silver suits stealing cattle, no lurid tale of abduction by extraterrestrials, not even a telepathic robot instructing me to "Take me to your leader."

But I'm still pretty sure I did see Oprah's face in an oatmeal cookie once.


From Monday's "What's that got to do with anything?" Department

Last night when I arrived the lake was smooth as glass. Shoot, conditions were so calm that once I was on course I literally didn't have to touch the wheel the whole way out.

Well, the weather forecast said conditions would change overnight and they did: right now there's a combination of wind and current trying to push Calypso backwards toward the shallows.

Precisely where I don't want her to go because rocks, stumps, jagged roots and who knows what other nasties lurking down there would eagerly disrespect her integrity and thoughtlessly punch unwelcome holes in her bottom.

Thank goodness her anchor is solid. Thank goodness her anchor's still holding.

Why are boats named after women anyway?
Calypso would rather be GOING than sitting still and she's letting me know she's restless & morose by twisting n' groaning against her anchor. That's her way of pouting & saying she'd rather be making waves in public with her throttles open and the wind in her face and she thinks her anchor is weighing her down.

She can't grasp that her anchor's there for a reason: to keep her safe and afloat in the worst possible conditions.

At least from my perspective that means Calypso's anchor is also her most dependable friend.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

I fought the Giants... c[orrectred]

I thought the Giants were playing the Baltimore Patriots. listen

Powered by Jott

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Luke-Warm Coffeewalker


"Starbucks said it will close 100 underperforming U.S. stores, or roughly 1% of its current coffee shops, by the end of September. It also cut the pace of new store openings by 425 outlets for fiscal 2008. Starbucks currently operates more than 11,160 U.S. stores.

“By reducing the number of openings, we expect to optimize our resources and potentially reduce cannibalization of our existing stores,” founder and CEO Howard Schultz said.

McDonald’s has moved onto Starbucks’ turf in the past year, selling new coffee, undercutting Starbucks on price, and installing coffee baristas. Recently, Starbucks started testing $1 coffee and free refills at a few of its locations in Seattle." - source

"The company's characteristically high growth rate showed signs of fatigue last year, unnerving investors, who sold off the stock. Shares are down 43% over the past year." - source


OK so I still buy mine at the grocery store, by the 1-lb pre-ground bag.

The Runaway Baptist?

"Novelist John Grisham said it is time for Baptists to stop reading the Bible with so-called narrow literalness and celebrate diversity."
-source

Locard's exchange principle

"Locard was the director of the very first crime laboratory in existence, located in Lyon, France.

" Locard's exchange principle states that 'with contact between two items, there will be an exchange' (Thornton, 1997).

"Essentially Locard's principle is applied to crime scenes in which the perpetrator(s) of a crime comes into contact with the scene, so he will both bring something into the scene and leave with something from the scene. Every contact leaves a trace.

"An easier way to remember this is that 'Every Contact Leaves a Trace.'"
-wiki

Friday, February 01, 2008

word up

fac·ile \'fa-səl\ adj [MF, fr. L facilis, fr. facere to do — more at do] (15c)
1 a (1): easily accomplished or attained ‹a ~ victory› (2): shallow simplistic
b : used or comprehended with ease c : readily manifested and often lacking sincerity or depth
-from Merriam Webster Dictionary and Thesaurus



Rules, traditions and legalism are much more facile than faith.

boldly going, etc etc

From the "Friday Fone Fun" iDepartment:


So it's not really a Tricorder - but don't tell iSpock.

Just beam me up before the ibattery runs down.

Disclaimer: Some of my best friends use Macs.

words count

This morning I did a search through the New Testament (NIV) for the word "Encourage" and counted 36 hits.

The Book of Acts contained the most instances with 10. Then I looked for "Joy" too and found about 70 hits.

But "Love" was the clear & inevitable winner, with about 257.

Then I searched for "Scold" but Scold wasn't there. Not in either the Old or the New Testament. Neither was "Retaliation," "Sarcastic," "Demean," "Browbeat" or "Condescend." Not anywhere.

Hmmm. Can't find those words anywhere in Scripture ... so what're they doing written inside my heart?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Christ woulda liked what I like

"My style of worship.
My style of music.
My style of dress.
My style of haircut.
My style of Biblical translation.
My style of politics.
My style of religion.

I believe in Christ because he was just like me."

Cloverfield


Loved it.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

what's the problem?

-What's up?
I got this big problem in my life ... and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.


-Have you talked to talked to a Godly person about it?
No, it's none of their business.


-Have you prayerfully consulted Scripture?
No, I don't have time.


-Have you asked Christ to take total control of your life?
No, come on. I don't believe all that "Christ is Alive" stuff.


That's
the problem.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Pilotage

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

3. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

4. The propeller is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

5. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

6. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

7. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

8. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

9. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

10. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal.


Sunday, January 27, 2008

Wanna Cannoli?


I gotta try it: Cannoligram of New York.

Monkey Business

-from Tony Zappone at Wikipedia

"Early in 1964, Zappone was monitoring local police frequencies and overheard a Florida Highway Patrolman requesting a sergeant after he pulled over a chimpanzee driving a compact convertible for speeding on Interstate 4 just east of Tampa.

He rushed to grab a ride with another newsman and arrived in time to photograph the lawman issuing the chimp a citation for speeding and having no driver's license. Subsequently, charges against "Cappy" the chimp were dropped after a Hillsborough County judge ruled no infraction had occurred because at that time there was no requirement in Florida law that chimpanzees have licenses to drive.

Zappone was later commissioned by NBC Productions, Inc. to shoot film footage of Cappy driving around the Tampa area for later use on that network's The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.

During the shoot, he was injured when the animal bit unrelentingly into his right hand during a stop at a downtown Tampa intersection and refused to let go until the light turned green 30 seconds later."

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The funniest thing I heard all week

Fran was driving, we'd been trapped in the parking lot of some shopping center on Woodruff Road doing helpless circles for about 15 minutes trying to find an exit.

We were talking about the differences between flying and driving and I said, "Ya know with an auto-pilot, the only thing you really have to worry about is the landing."

Fran kinda shrugged and said, "Joe Hall I'm a sky diver ... so landings don't scare me."

Singing Bulldogs, Crying Poodles

Walking across the Marina City parking lot tonight I spied a a big black pit bull sitting at the tailgate of the pickup truck parked beside me. As I strolled by my eyes locked in on his and I realized he'd seen me long before I'd spotted him.

Nothing happened, nothing at all.

That dog was a pure-T all-out 4-legged BAD MAN. But he seemed 100% bored, as if he was used to biting through engine blocks and outdrives in his spare time ... and yours truly didn't amount to much of a distraction.

The next SUV I passed had a blond cocker-poodle wearing a designer sweater lurking inside on the back seat: even though the windows were rolled up tight Mr. Poo lurched for me, enthusiastically launching at the window and resonating with rabid barks accompanied by a bright flashing of his pearly doggy-orthodontist maintained snappers.

The Poo was having a mood swing, and angrily let me know I didn't belong near his Blazer ... and announced that I'd probably wrinkled his new sweater just by walking past.

Somehow I think there was more than a thin glass window's worth of difference between them.

HAVE YOU SEEN TODAY'S NEWS?!!!!

-from the "Headlines We'll Never See" Department:

God Caught Off-Guard:

Creator urges calm pending full investigation

a short list for Saturday

From where I live there's simply no easy way to get anywhere from here.

Like, it's a 70-mile round trip to get a haircut and a15-mile round trip to check my mail. So I don't do either one very often.

Thus, on the drive to the post office this morning I started counting how many churches I passed along the way ... but forgot about that when I tried memorizing the portable church signs instead.

Here's 4 I remember:

1. It Takes Dirt to Make A Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill
2. Some People Are Anxious to Serve God - As Advisers
3. Jesus Love You and So Do We*
4. Try Less Self Control and More God Control

* Earlier in the week this same sign read "God Loves Your $ And So Do We." I figure that one had to be a late-night practical joker's mischief, right?

Friday, January 25, 2008

the king's clothes

There Will Be Blood.

Overlaying incongruent, sloppily directed scenes with atonal music = an absurdly poor excuse for film-making.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

There Will Be Boredom


Just got back from seeing "There Will Be Blood" in Gville with Fran.

TWBB has received more stars at IMDB.com than either The Godfather, Citizen Kane, or The Godfather Part II so I was very anxious to see it.* Ok so I missed something.

Like, why they bothered.

Call me dense; now let's eat.


* check out all these awards.

incommunicado

I'm in the lobby of a hotel in downtown Gville while Fran's at a job interview in the same facility, but my phone is back on the boat in the pocket of the jacket I forgot to bring.

Times like this make me wish I could Twitter. But then you need a phone for that too, right?

All SHook UP

Chris W. said I should see Cloverfield; after reading this I'm more anxious than ever.

Remind me to keep repeating, "It's just a movie, it's just a movie." And to bring some Dramamine along just in case.

I hate movie lists

Top 10 Most Influential Films of All Time (decided by me)

Top-Ranked Films of the Past 10 Years (determined by New York film critics)

Best Films Ever (voted by LA movie reviews)

Highest Grossing Films of All Time (in US dollars)

Best Foreign Film Dubbed in English

Highest Grossing Films of All Time (adjusted for inflation)

Top 20 Unfinished Films

Top 10 Films with the Longest Waiting Lines

Top 5 Films Lost to History

Top 20 Films You've Never Seen

Top 10 Films Never Released


eeeh, the artificial lists and rankings go on and on.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Attention Film & Video Bosses, Experts, Gurus and Pretenders

How many of the top 10 (of the Top 250) Films of all time (as selected by IMDB.com users) have you seen?

Top 250 movies as voted by our users

For this top 250, only votes from regular voters are considered.
RankRatingTitleVotes
1.9.1The Godfather (1972)257,044
2.9.1The Shawshank Redemption (1994)303,921
3.9.0The Godfather: Part II (1974)147,230
4.8.9Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)83,040
5.8.8Pulp Fiction (1994)261,221
6.8.8Schindler's List (1993)175,720
7.8.8One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)130,991
8.8.8Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)185,944
9.8.8Casablanca (1942)115,600
10.8.8Shichinin no samurai (1954)64,516

I'm a movie moron, and thoroughly disagree with the IMDB list.

In a mob, maybe

"The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people."
-President Woodrow Wilson

Monday, January 21, 2008

You Don't Have to be Broke!


Joe Sangl's book is finally here!

-from Joe's web site:

"In this book, I share how my family stopped being broke and won with money. While telling my family's story, I teach the actual tools that we used and still use to this day!

More than anything else, this is a book of HOPE. I know that you CAN do this! I know that you CAN win with money! I know that you do not have to be a straight-A student to win with money (that's really good news for me!).

You CAN break free of financial bondage and win with money. This book was written to show you HOW to do so in a PRACTICAL way!

If you are looking for theory or philosophy, this is the wrong book. If you are looking for immediate help to take your finances to the next level, this is the right book!"


Joe's book can be purchased here.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Seen tonight's forecast?

38° F | 12° F
3° C | -11° C

No no no, not Relativism again

"Every religion says their way is the only way, but there are no universal, absolute truths because everything's relative."

-How can you say that?

"Because it's true."

-You're saying it's true that there are no universal, absolute truths because everything's relative?"

"Exactly. That's how I know all religions are the same."

-And you're sure what you're saying is true?

-Absolutely.

Wow.

Sorry, I didn't recognize you in here without a tie

The other afternoon I was sitting in Fran's car while she used my lap top to do some work-related stuff on the web.

Suddenly I remembered how much water I'd had at lunch ... and there I was on the marina restaurant's parking lot. U-r-g-e-n-c-y rhymes with EMERGENCY and well, you get the idea.

The restaurant didn't open for another 90 minutes but with no other option I ducked inside.

I know (by a first name anyway) 99% of the nice folks who work there, but the point of re-telling this mundane story is that I had trouble recognizing most of them: without uniforms, still dressed in their "casual clothes," they looked so different from the folks I knew.

Entirely different; a simple necktie and button-down shirt can make someone seem familiar when they're totally not.

Man I can be so shallow sometimes, even when I think I'm paying attention.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

My daughter's first date ...

... would never happen. Period. Here's why:

Picture some 16-year old guy showing up at night to pick up your daughter for a date.

See, he's gonna take her out ... away from your house ... and drive her around in a car. You trust him to behave and have her home by 11 PM.

Guess that's OK because that's part of "Dating."

Now imagine the same 16-year old guy shows up at your house but instead of leaving with your daughter, you entrust him with your bank cards, the deed to your house, the title to your car and oh, yeah ... your entire life's savings, in cash ... asking only that he bring everything back safely by 11 PM,

Nobody'd do that.

Nobody in their right mind would trust a 16-year old to assume responsibility for their most important material assets, not even for an hour. Yet a daughter is infinitely more valuable than a house or any amount of cash.

Without even mentioning that a daughter is irreplaceable.

Call me old fashioned, call me a dinosaur. Just promise you'll call me if you're gonna be home after 11.

Friday, January 18, 2008

time cRunCh

Wow there's never enough time to fit in all the things that are unimportant and ultimately don't mattermuchtoanyoneelse is there

super SUPER bowl rivals

Rival tribes clash with machetes


NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -- Clashes between rival tribes armed with machetes and bows and arrows on Friday marked the third successive day of opposition protests over Kenya's disputed presidential election.

art.1717.kenya.ap.jpg

Soldiers and protesters clash in Mombasa.

Click to view previous image
1 of 3
Click to view next image

With more than 20 people killed since Wednesday, the opposition announced a new strategy of economic boycotts and strikes to ratchet up pressure.

The U.S. ambassador, citing "many factors and underlying grievances," compared Kenya's violence to the 1968 race riots in the United States.

At a town hall meeting for Americans in Nairobi, Ambassador Michael Ranneberger said there was "a lot of cheating on both sides" in the December 27 elections that pitted President Mwai Kibaki against opposition leader Raila Odinga.

Kibaki insists he won the election, but international and local observers say the vote count was rigged. Kibaki's power has become more entrenched and he appears unlikely to accede to demands he step down.

The opposition's best hope may rest in wrangling a power-sharing agreement that might make Odinga prime minister or vice president.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Who's gonna preach my Super Bowl funeral?

I keep hearing this: "I couldn't go to a Super Bowl-sized church because I have no way of knowing who'd preach at my funeral."

OK.

#1. When the time comes, you won't know either

#2. You don't know who's gonna be playing in next year's Super Bowl ... or if there'll even be a Super Bowl

#3. Heaven nain't neer nough ferye?

Part 2

I Want to go to a church where the preacher knows my name and acknowledges my contributions

Yup yup, I'm quite sure ... but if a persecution started, would ya want similar recognition and attention from the folks anxious to start the crucifixion line?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

What church should I be at?

Picking a church can be hard; let's run down the list:

This one's too big, this one is boring, I like dressing up, I don't like dressing up, that one's a clique, that one's too strict, they don't have a choir, I had a problem with that preacher when I was growing up, they play songs that don't come from the Bible, I don't get fed, I get asked to do too much, that church is a cult, they don't have Sunday School, I don't like the music, they don't preach from the Bible, they take the Bible too literally, they let men wear hats in church, they'll expect me to tithe, they don't oppose Halloween, all the members are hypocrites, they don't have Bingo, they didn't support mandatory pet neutering, nobody cares what I say, everybody there acts like they're big shots, the music is too loud, they have Bingo, I saw one of their members stopped at a red light outside an adult book store after dark, everybody there gossips, it all depends on how much you give, the pastor doesn't know my name, the pastor's always preaching right at ME, the air-conditioner blows on my face and I heard their pastor preaches naked. So where am I supposed to go?

Hmmm, I dunno ... what'd the Holy Spirit say last time you asked?

Treasure Hunting

8:32 AM
As a kid growing up on Florida's Gulf coast I remember being fascinated with pirates ... the buccaneers who'd roamed the Caribbean hundred of years before, preying on treasure-laden galleons sailing from Mexico back to Spain.

The house where we lived was built on an island; to a seven-year-old it seemed likely that Jose Gaspar himself could have left a treasure chest buried no further away than the backyard.

Stop being an adult for a minute and think about it: a treasure beyond description might lie just a few feet away, but where? Somewhere in the back yard? Under the patio? But what if it lay buried under the garage- how would you get to it then?

I KNEW buried treasure was close but how would I know where to start looking, unless I had a map?

-I asked my folks; no map came with the house when they bought it.
-I couldn't find any library books that mentioned a pirate treasure being buried anywhere near my house.
-I consulted school friends to brainstorm their ideas (after swearing them to secrecy, naturally) about where to look.

During times when "Knowing Where to Look" seemed hopeless I regained my enthusiasm by imagining all the things I'd buy once the treasure was mine.

I didn't wanna give up the idea that there were riches waiting nearby, a treasure so close I might literally be sleeping on top of it. But I always ended up stumped, perplexed about what to do next.

Because no matter how much I believed or how overwhelming my enthusiasm became, I simply had no idea where to start digging.


Gee, my childish visions of treasure hunting start sounding a lot like mainstream religion.

The Jolly Roger & The Cross
A mysterious man arrived a long time ago with a treasure. He left the treasure behind and then went away again, abandoning his followers and leaving precious few clues beyond a dusty, ancient map, about "the right way" to find his treasure.

Too often we see believers acting and living their lives just that way: as if Christ left us marooned on a desert island to suffer and muddle through on our own, despite having promised his treasure lies waiting ... if only He'd left us more clues to get us on track so we could finally find it and be sure.

Dead Men Tell No Tales: what we need is a Southern Buccaneer Clue Convention
Convinced that Christ returned to Heaven (awaiting the Rapture as a sour-faced recluse) and took all the clues with Him, many groups of believers created their own clues ... complete with "treasure maps" describing and pointing to the booty ... yet none of the man-made maps seem to agree on how to find the treasure, much less on a common compass heading ... many insisting instead that they alone possess the clues belonging to "the one true map."

Others go so far as to argue that the treasure is exclusively theirs (which explains, I guess, why they intend to keep it guarded so jealously), so looking outside the auspices of their convention is useless.

Yet, to outsiders, do these tight-fisted believers reveal any hint of living treasure-filled lives? Or do they seem more concerned with greedily keeping the treasure hoarded and hidden from view ... instead of sharing their unearned riches?

Yo ho ho and a stained glass window ... Walking the Man-made Plank
There's at least one INFINITE difference between hunting for pirates' treasure and seeking Heavenly treasure: it's too late for treasure hunters to call upon Jose Gaspar, or Blackbeard or Captain Kidd for guidance finding the treasure, because none of them have done much communicating in the past four hundred years.

The map to Heavenly treasure, on the other hand, comes with a 24x7 Help Line ... and unlimited lifetime support.

Monday, January 14, 2008

"Hai-Koi" Poemetry

-humor

My excellent and technological friend Ken's been after me to take up Twittering. So far I've resisted, arguing I'm too long-winded; the other night he suggested Haiku might be the answer.


"Flirting with Goldfish"

I caught the gaze of
A koi seduced by shadows
Reflections, not me.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Comprehensive Plan for Local Church Success

"We had a meeting, took proposals, created a committee, held a dozen votes, fired a Minister of Music, threatened the preacher, had four members withdraw their tithes and 2 deacons storm out in disgust, but we finally re-painted the church restrooms. Without going over budget."

Friday, January 11, 2008

It's Friday

I lifted this post & Love It because it's so completely without rust:

“'Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.'

Philippians 1:6 is true and He is so much larger than we could ever imagine."

Thursday, January 10, 2008

a tale of two believers

One believer embraces religion as proof of his superiority. Because his faith is based on fear and uncertainty, he testifies to his own inerrant righteousness, and lives his faith to justify and glorify himself. He wants to praise God by doing Him favors.

Another believer embraces Christ as proof of God's word. Because his faith is based on love and the resurrection, he testifies to Christ's righteousness, and lives his faith to honor and glorify God. He wants to praise God by being His slave.

Financial Freedom Experience!


Joe Sangl's entire five-session Financial Freedom class will be taught in just one weekend! The class times are:

Friday, January 25th, 6:30PM – 9:00PM

Saturday, January 26th, 9:30AM – 1:00PM

Complete the entire Financial Freedom Experience in just one weekend! This five-session class will teach you how to get your finances in order, use your tax refund in the best way possible, pay cash for Christmas 2008 and avoid those nasty credit card bills.

Cost of the class is $20/individual or $30/family



More info here.

Great Reading Weather

134 Bible Contradictions Explained

I haven't read 'em all yet, but this looks like the kinda weather made for reading.

ps. Earlier this week I got a copy of The Apologetics Study Bible and have had a hard time putting it down.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

2fer Wednesday

"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'Thy will be done.'"
C.S. Lewis

"This, then, is the judgement: the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. For everyone who practices wicked hates the light and avoids it, so that his deeds may not be exposed.

But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God."
-John 3:19-21

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

sounds of silence

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Never mind ... you're not a dog

Your calling might tell you different ... especially if "different" means looking your own way.
But then, somebody else got that calling, rrrrright?

soLiD.



The college football championship's been decided, the Golden Globes got canceled ... and the election's not until November. So try watching these instead:


Hotel Rwanda - 2004
Sometimes in April - 2005
Beyond the Gates [Shooting Dogs} - 2005
The Devil Came on Horseback - 2007

from Kenya


Kenya's turmoil triggers underlying problems

Posted: 8 January, 2008

Kenya (MNN) ? Audio Scripture Ministries partners in Kenya reported that the greatest danger is being out and about.

There are roving vans on the roads around the airport in Nairobi, attacking at random. "Many of our partner ministry teams left Nairobi and went to their villages. The ones who were in town basically were forced to hole up in their homes; that is, they are trying to get off the roads and just out of sight until things calm down," said ASM's Tom Dudenhofer.

As their partner ministries look to the future, the current situation may open doors for people to hear the Gospel.

"People are going to be looking for some answers. The country of Kenya is known as having a long-time influence of Christianity but that the Christianity in the country is very shallow," said Dudenhofer. He said that Kenya is one of the worst places for corruption in Africa. "There's a lot of shallow, moral dissatisfaction with the way things have been going, and people really, really need to get a grip on what it means to be a Christian. They need to get into God's Word, which is one of the real causes for so much of the shallow Christianity."

Monday, January 07, 2008

Belief, Conviction and boating on the Delaware

I believe George Washington crossed the Delaware River on Christmas night 1776, to attack the Hessian troops in Trenton. I believe that's a literal fact.

But I don't measure myself or live according to Washington's life. Even though I just professed my belief.

I mean, nobody would ever look at me and think, "Now there's a guy who totally lives according to his conviction that Washington crossed the Delaware." Even though I absolutely, honestly and completely believe that it happened. I just choose not to have my life affected by what I believe. I mean, not by all of my beliefs.

Hmmmm .... now that it's Monday and I start thinking about it, what I believe about Washington crossing the Delaware is a private matter ... and nobody else's business.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Kenya Church Massacre

From Reuters.

From The International Herald Tribune.


From the BBC.

Kenya's crisis spreads gloom over Africa

Thu 3 Jan 2008, 12:31 GMT


By Barry Moody

NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenya's sudden spiral into chaos after years as a regional anchor has badly set back Africa's democratic progress and will strike a heavy blow against the economies of a wide swathe of neighbouring nations.

In a few turbulent days since a tarnished election on Dec. 27, Kenya has gone from democratic hope to disaster, from a country seen as an island of stability in a dangerous region to a new trouble spot torn by ethnic bloodletting.

The election, which Kenya's opposition says was rigged to re-elect President Mwai Kibaki, ended a year in which democratic hopes in Africa had already been dented by a totally discredited poll in Nigeria and turmoil in the politics of South Africa, the continent's economic locomotive.

"This is the greatest setback to Africa's reputation since the 60s. Kenya has an iconic status, seen as synonymous with Africa," said Kenya expert Michael Holman.

But analysts do not believe Kenya's crisis will contaminate other nations politically.

"The politics of every country in Africa are very, very separate. African politics are all local and all personal ... I don't think it has any wider implications at all," said Richard Dowden, director of the Royal African Society.

Control Risks senior Africa analyst Chris Melville agreed: "While Kenya is at the heart of an unstable region, we do not consider that the current situation will significantly contribute to regional instability in the short-term."

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Chinese New Year?

Nee hao ma?
Oh yeah before I forget, I almost forgot.

The other night Fran & I did Chinese; this is how I like my spring rolls:

Where you can just barely see 'um, under the hot mustard.

PPS- This is what Fran got from Shawn for Christmas, oh wow:

Most Popular of 2007

Here's The Blue Book's Top Posts of '07:

5. The Source of All Leaks
4. Here's MY Plan
3. Farewell, Old Friends
2. From the "Snooze n' Lose" Department
1. Have A Very Mastodon Christmas

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Poverty Theology

"In a nutshell, it [Prosperity Theology] suggests that a God who loves you does not want you to be broke.

"In a TIME poll, 17% of Christians surveyed said they considered themselves part of such a movement, while a full 61% believed that God wants people to be prosperous. And 31%--a far higher percentage than there are Pentecostals in America--agreed that if you give your money to God, God will bless you with more money.

"Who would want to get in on something where you're miserable, poor, broke and ugly and you just have to muddle through until you get to heaven?" asks Joyce Meyer, a popular television preacher and author often lumped in the Prosperity Lite camp. "I believe God wants to give us nice things." -source

Friday, December 28, 2007

Oye Como Va

This is what I missed most about Christmas.


Scachatta.

Yep, uh huh

About a week ago I had the opportunity to go shooting with the surgeon who did the PRK-procedure on my eyes.

What may have been the most memorable moment of 2007 occurred right after he suggested I try firing a Jeffery 450 #2 Nitro Express ... from the bench rest. Just to check my aim.

Left to right - .450 N.E., .500/.450, .450 no.2, .465 and .470.

Hahahaha 45 minutes later, generally satisfied neither my nose nor right hand was broken, I felt like I was marginally OK to drive home.

Later that night I told TPW on the phone, "What happened? I just don't remember recoil affecting me that much."

After listening to me whine and complain for 15 minutes she said, "As long as I've known you, you always come back from shooting whining about how much such-and-such rifle kicks."

--- ----

One day we'll talk more about it.

One day we'll talk more about stepping aboard the Nitro Sleigh Ride. One day we'll talk about leaving the trigger, flying along the rifle's front sight and feeling the primer's ignition blow 3 tons of kinetic energy down the slim 110-year old barrels resting between your bare, unprotected fingers. One day we'll talk about ...

"Yeah," she said. "Now stop talking about it."

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

But are you sure ...?

Have you ever imagined what it woulda been like to live 2000 years ago, and met Christ during His ministry ... in the flesh? Eye to eye with God, up close and personal.

I especially wonder what it must've been like for the disciples ... the twelve chosen to spend three years in day to day existence with Jesus. To have had that much time to know Him, and ask any questions to clear up any issues of doctrine or theology whatsoever.

What strikes me, in reading the gospel accounts, is that I can't find anyone, not even the Pharisees, taking time to ask Christ:

-Is it okay to include harp music in worship?
-Is it lawful to clap in synagogue?
-When will organs and stained glass windows be invented ... and where should we meet until then?
-What's the absolutely right number to form a church Finance and Steering Committee?
-Does "tithe" mean net, or gross?
-How do we make grape juice?
-Exactly how much are you earning, and why didn't we get to vote on it first?
-When you come back to earth, the first thing you'll do is tell everybody else that our faction was right, won't you?
-What's a Disney World?

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

... not from a portable sign

Evil quickly rewards both weakness and compromise.

Wait'll next year

First off, ya'll know I don't have a dog in the Clemson-USC fight, but thought both camps might enjoy seeing what Fran got me for Christmas.

She asked if I was gonna wear it in Africa. I nodded Yes ... I'll explain that the shirt celebrates "The amazing American fighting chicken." I think that's kuchi ajabu marekani, in Swahili.

Wow.

Ho ho ... uh oh

We all know what "interest" means: it's the price paid for using credit or money. But why does Interest exist in the first place?

Here's some theories:

1. The Time-Preference Theory explains interest "as an inducement to "engage in time-consuming but more productive activities"
2. Liquidity-Preference Theory explains interest as "an inducement to sacrifice a portion of liquidity for a nonliquid contractual obligation"
3. According to Marxist theory, interest is "a portion of labor expropriated by the capitalist class by virtue of its political power"

Here's a word we don't hear often enough: Usury

usu·ry \'yü-zhə-rē, 'yüzh-rē\ n, pl -ries [ME usurie, fr. AF, fr. ML usuria, alter. of L usura, fr. usus, pp. of uti to use] (14c)
1 archaic: interest

2 : the lending of money with an interest charge for its use ; esp: the lending of money at exorbitant interest rates

3 : an unconscionable or exorbitant rate or amount of interest ; specif: interest in excess of a legal rate charged to a borrower for the use of money

"In Old English law, the taking of any compensation whatsoever was termed usury [emphasis added]. With the expansion of trade in the 13th century, however, the demand for credit increased, necessitating a modification in the definition of the term."

"The total amount of consumer debt in the United States stands at nearly $2.5 trillion dollars - and based on the latest Census statistics, that works out to be nearly $8,200 in debt for every man, woman and child that lives here in the US."

Sources:
-Merriam Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus
-"interest." Encyclopædia Britannica. Ultimate Reference Suite. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, 2007.)
-Money-zine.com

Monday, December 24, 2007

The Hawking's Socks Paradox

Wash n' Wear Inside the Event Horizon

Last night I recorded a show about Black Holes on the Science Channel. What I learned was that anything crossing a Black Hole's "Event Horizon" becomes forever trapped by its gravity ... and eventually disappears within an infinite crush of space-time.


I don't pretend to understand the math, but I'm pretty sure that's what happens to socks inside the washing machine, too.



(Above: Un-retouched photo of an actual Black Hole, recently discovered while doing my laundry.)

Saturday, December 22, 2007

What?! Notevena Cantata?

It's the time of the year for folks who have zero interest in anything other than criticizing and condescending to start asking, "What's your church doing for its Christmas service?"

Doing? You mean like ...

"Like a Christmas cantata. Or a candlelight service."

Not that I know of.

"Doesn't your church have a choir?"

No.

"So your church isn't doing anything special for Christmas?"

Special? Ah, I thought teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ was special ... and all that ultimately matters.


I'm not sure what the word "Cantata" means, anyway.

Friday, December 21, 2007

No reason to cell-ebrate; No Gripe with Skype

Vernon called the other night.

First thing I asked him was, "Are you in the States?" because the connection was so clear, it sounded like he was calling from a pay phone on the parking lot. Yet he was calling from his cell, south of the equator, not far from the Kenya border.

The point is: the clearest calls I get are consistently from Tanzania and the worst, hardest to hear and de-scramble calls come from folks ... well, I won't name names (but their phones can store and play every episode of Heroes and LOST in Hi-Def).

Anyway, based on my anecdotal experiences (and that's all that matters, sure) I think US cell phone companies should be ashamed of themselves. Truly & I mean it.

I've called and talked to Vernon while he was traveling on dirt roads scores of miles removed from pavement, in the fourth poorest country on the planet with no reception problems whatsoever, yet the coverage in the quadrant roughly defined by I-85, Highway 81 and Lake Hartwell and River Street is abysmal.

From the "I Don't Care if it's Christmas, I STILL HATE WINDOWS" Department:
Bah, software bug. Each time Windows warns of a "Critical Update" waiting to be installed, you run the risk of getting Scrouged.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Dark Side of RULES N' LEGALISM

My biggest motivation in comitting to rules and adhering to tradition is that then, I can focus on "What I Can Get Away With Because There's No Rule Saying I Can't Do It" ... and point back to the rules themselves, to justify & condone my own sinfulness.

It's easier to love tradition and follow rules than it is to love God, follow Christ and hear the Holy Spirit.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I hate you because God loves me & MY RELIGION most

Last Christians of Bethlehem” 2007 National Geographic Channel

Did you ever read anything like this?

16 Argue and shout loudly, disputing often among yourselves, and accuse each other of scandal, of breaking rules you created and those things you do not understand, 17 that the world might look to you as an example, 18 and see the father in all things.

19 Verily thy religion saves thee, and sayest unto thee, Thou lookest exceedingly sharp in thine store-bought threads, 20 thine ride and car payments spell glory in letters reaching into heaven. 21 Truly thine plastic burden proveth none among men is as important and righteous as thee in thine own eyes.

22 For truly there is no room in heaven for both thee and me, my right-hand and most righteous man, 23 who wisely chose when to be born and exalted,.

24 The creator thanks thee for watching his back and says,

25 I couldn’t keep it together without thee.

No, some may have imagined it, but Scripture doesn’t say that.

Note: gasping Thee or Thine at dinner-time (in front of relatives who don’t know your name) doesn’t make you righteous, or make the food more satisfying … much less impress God in the least.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Famous Face Book - Here's the Answers

For a gold-zillion points, could you name these famous faces?


Jim Fisk












Daniel Drew
















Cornelius Vanderbilt





Jay Gould
"In his lifetime and for a century after, Gould had a firm reputation as the most unethical of the 19th century American businessmen known as robber barons. Many times he allowed his rivals to believe that he was beaten, then sprang some legal or contractual loophole on them that completely reversed the situation and gave him the advantage. He pioneered the practice, now commonplace, of declaring bankruptcy as a strategic maneuver. He had no opposition to using stock manipulation and insider trading (which were then legal but frowned upon) to build capital and to execute or prevent hostile takeover attempts. As a result, many contemporary businessmen did not trust Gould and often expressed contempt for his approach to business. Even so, John D. Rockefeller named him as the most skilled businessman he ever encountered."


John D. Rockefeller

From the "BIG TUESDAY SO WHAT?" Department:
These were some of the richest guys who ever lived, at least in modern terms. But besides having almost unimaginable wealth, they shared a few other things as well:

1. None ever owned an Ipod
2. None ever owned a computer or sent an e-mail
3. None even owned a color TV. Or cell phone. Or had any idea what "MasterCard" meant.

Hmmm, all those millions still wasn't enough to buy an Ipod? Man, that had to be rough.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Here’s MY Plan


1) I’m gonna go church-shopping till I find one I like ... one with a deep discount, that (a) tolerates my self-important ambition to be a big shot & make my own rules; or (b) either overlooks or permits the sins that give me the most physical pleasure & satisfaction ... and generally makes me feel good about ignoring God's plan for my life

Adjunct: I call the shots in my life, not the Holy Spirit

2) I don’t mind giving MY money to the church … so long as God rewards me (success, a relationship, material success) as much as I deserve. Beforehand.

Adjunct: My cash = my voice in church and all other decisions


Hey now.


If cell phones existed that could take calls across 2000 years of time, would you be too busy to take Christ's call today?

Huh? Aw gee Joe, that’s stupid & obvious and I'm starting to think you take all this stuff way too seriously! Heck oh yeah, I’d live my life different if I knew Jesus was about to call me on the phone, for Pete's sake.

What about right now ... when He stands at your door and knocks?


Where'’s the problem ... are ya blaming a loose connection for any ourtstanding communication issues?

Misc crumbs from the cupboard ...

1. The BassMaster Classic will be held on Lake Hartwell in February, 2008.

Professional bass fishermen are already converging from across the US in preparation for the tournament ... and employing the latest GPS satellite technology to identify the most likely spots where "The Biggest Catch" might be lurking.

Hint: With 87 square miles of lake to explore, why must the monster bass be hiding under my window? Just asking, say.


2. Einstein said more than E=mc2:
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has
limits." - Albert Einstein

"If they wanna see me, here I am. If they wanna see my clothes, show them my closet."
- Albert Einstein

3. From a neck-down guy:
"The first man to earn your affection could change the course of history."
-joe hall
August 18, 2007

4. Quote from a friend
"Who knows what a Puffin thinks?"
-Tatiana Del Rio

Friday, December 14, 2007

We're from the bank and we're here to help you: Now stick 'em up

Bank of America, Wachovia, PNC Report New Loan Losses (Update3)
By David Mildenberg and Hugh Son

Dec. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Bank of America Corp., Wachovia Corp. and PNC Financial Services Group Inc. said losses tied to bad debt will be worse than expected, providing fresh evidence that credit markets aren't returning to normal. -original source here

Hmmm, ... wonder whether our Bank Buddies are gonna shrug off their losses with big red faces, admit their unbridled avarice ... and learn a lesson about fiscal responsibility?

Will banks finally wise up n' buckle down ... no longer writing risky loans or issuing "credit cards" to folks who're already over-extended & unable to make minimum monthly payments?

Or, can we expect them to:

1) Raise interest rates & minimum monthly payments for "marginal" borrowers (folks with variable-interest mortgages and debt cards)
2) Mass-mail enticing new offers to "even more marginal" borrowers/debtors
3) Lay off "non-essential personnel" (i.e. bottom-tier bank employees; not the folks responsible for banks' lending practices) "as a response to the disappointing current economic downtrend"?
4) Resort to predatory lending by writing increasingly-risky loans (before their competitors do)
5) Increase fees & service charges; create new ones; offer fewer services
6) Argue that "Stealing isn't stealing when stealing is protected by law"

But isn't that Free Enterprise? Ain't that how Capitalism works?

Banks hire lobbyists and make huge political contributions to manipulate the legislative process and enact laws penned in their corporate board rooms intended to guarantee their profits.

That how we end up with The Best Government Money Can Buy.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

"I saw you at church Sunday"

I've known Ke for at least six months ... but didn't know till tonight that we go to the same church.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

judge as I say, not as I do

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
-Matthew 7:1-2

Something occurred to me yesterday: we tend to remember that passage as Christ's warning against making negative judgments, but does it equally apply to judging things we might like and want- things that seem attractive and totally desirable-- that we just might want for ourselves?

Like, when we make judgments about others, "So-and-so has the total package ... a fairy-tale marriage to the perfect spouse, wonderful kids, great looks, fame, prestige, deep-pocket wealth and every other sign of material success ... exactly all the things I want in my life, too."

Lest others judge you to be superficial, shallow, vain and selfish?

wish in one hand ...

I wish Peter Tosh had done his own cover of "Never My Love."

Wouldn't his reggae version have been cool? Sure, sure it would.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Team Effort

"Ding-A-Ling, make I help you?" Department

As Christmas approaches, The G is slammed sideways with folks anxiously calling in their dinner reservations ... and nothing works better than having a guy manning the desk who can't figure which end of the phone to talk into.