Monday, March 24, 2008

what every woman should know about men

-this ad arrived in this morning's slush mail ...

You're About To Learn Secrets That
Most Women Will Never Know About Meeting And Keeping Great Men...

"Inside you'll learn...

  • What goes on inside a man's mind... and how attraction works for him.
  • How to "cheat-proof" your relationship... and why he might be tempted.
  • The ten fatal mistakes to avoid that most women make with men.
  • What to do if your man has a "wandering eye".
  • The differences in how men and women think about dating... and why
    most men want to keep you from being successful.
  • The seven secrets to communicating with a man that will create lasting love and affection.
  • The truth about men who aren't "emotionally available"... how to know if you've got one and what to do if you're dating one.
  • The five things women do that annoy men and kill intimacy.
  • The inside tips married women know about the tell-tale signs of a great guy."

Ladies, look: I'm a guy and that means I know stuff about guys. Obviously I'm not trying to sell anything ... so here's the easy, un-varnished truth about men:

Men Do Not Get It
They never have. Nor does the current version of Men come wired from the factory with the potential for upgrades, nor are there plans to include the "Getting It" skill-set in any future release of Men.

Neither can Men ever be taught, hacked or cracked to ever "Get It."

Men who do not GET IT are not defective, nor can they be returned for a refund or replacement.

A Visual Illustration of the facts:
A man can accidentally smash his thumb into pulp with a hammer, stare at the injury and instead of seeking immediate medical assistance, wiggle it back and forth to see if it's broken and then wonder, "How did that happen? It always worked right before."

And then look at the hammer as if it had tricked him.

But why aren't men emotionally responsive?
The truth is that the vast majority of men are incredibly responsive ... to sporting events broadcast live in high-def. Especially on flat screens measuring more than 60 inches.

(It's well-known that 72" plasma displays and 6.1 surround sound will bring tears to a man's eyes, every time.)

Conclusion
Expecting a Man to GET IT is like expecting a Woman to grasp the spiritual significance of a programmable multi-function remote control.