Thursday, February 28, 2008
Marina City, after hours
Got up at 4 AM this morning to snap a photo of what Marina City looks like in the middle of the night. Amazing really, when ya stop to think about it.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Buried in Religion - or resurrected with Christ?
We don't worship a God whom we created in OUR IMAGE. We don't serve a God who says MAYBE or IF YOU'D RATHER. And we can't live hoping a DEAD IDOL will fix what's broken inside us.
We worship the God who says, I AM.
We serve the God who says, I DO NOT CHANGE.
We live because CHRIST IS ALIVE within us.
We worship the God who says, I AM.
We serve the God who says, I DO NOT CHANGE.
We live because CHRIST IS ALIVE within us.
Finally, a connection
-Whichever way the wind blows, there goes my wireless connection.
Haven't been able to log-on till now; I thought it must be the Flu, or something to do with BassMasters. Either way, the iPhone is already Absolete (my word coinage, meaning "absolutely obsolete"). Check out the HAMBURGER PHONE instead ... and make mine medium-rare:
Haven't been able to log-on till now; I thought it must be the Flu, or something to do with BassMasters. Either way, the iPhone is already Absolete (my word coinage, meaning "absolutely obsolete"). Check out the HAMBURGER PHONE instead ... and make mine medium-rare:
| ||||||||
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
It's been going around
Scientists didn't get the vaccine right this year, and lots of folks been succumbing to "A mild case of Flu."
So why isn't "a mild case of Flu" called "Having the Mu"?
So why isn't "a mild case of Flu" called "Having the Mu"?
Whatever happened to that crotchety old guy?
When I was a kid I used to cringe every time I heard the name Paul. Seems like he spent most of the New Testament sailing around the Med & writing scolding letters to churches. He called believers "Brothers," but Paul didn't sound like the kind of relative you hoped would make a surprise appearance at Thanksgiving or Christmas.
At least, that was my old impression.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." -Roman 12:9-10
"The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." - Romans 13:12
"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." -Romans 13:10
"What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?" - 1 Corinthians 4:21
"I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." -1 Corinthians 2:3-5
At least, that was my old impression.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." -Roman 12:9-10
"The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." - Romans 13:12
"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." -Romans 13:10
"What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?" - 1 Corinthians 4:21
"I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." -1 Corinthians 2:3-5
Monday, February 25, 2008
Outta the Water, outta the Oscars too
I feel so left outta Hollywood. Like I found out this morning the Academy Awards were last night, and didn't even know it. To make matters worse, reading through the nominees, I realized I haven't seen a single one.
Blame it on sheer exhaustion following 3 days of nail-biting tension during The 2008 BassMaster Classic. Yeah, that sounds as good as anything else.
ps. My guy didn't win the Classic, either.
Blame it on sheer exhaustion following 3 days of nail-biting tension during The 2008 BassMaster Classic. Yeah, that sounds as good as anything else.
ps. My guy didn't win the Classic, either.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Notes from the BassMaster Parking Lot
Two things I notice while watching Marina City host 25,000 enthusiastic bass-fishing fans for the Classic this weekend:
1) Drivers unfamiliar with the marina tend to pull in and abruptly Slam On The Brakes ... as if trying to fathom how a massive lake magically appeared in their windshield. An urgent case of STOP is likely to happen anywhere that suits them, but especially when there's 10 vehicles stacked up waiting to get around.
Hint: parking spaces are for stopping. Lanes are for moving. Please.
2) Folks piloting huge SUV's and trucks with 60" tires, quad-shocks on each wheel, 16" lift kits, with off-roading decals and header pipes will pull into Marina City with all the thunder of Thor commandeering Valhalla ... but then slam on the brakes to creep over speed bumps at a snails' pace ... more slowly than I can crawl through calculus equations in my head (and I never took calculus).
I mean if you wanna see the sights, then pull outta the way of folks who know where they're going.
And don't be scared of hitting speed bumps if you're qualified to drive a Big Rig.
1) Drivers unfamiliar with the marina tend to pull in and abruptly Slam On The Brakes ... as if trying to fathom how a massive lake magically appeared in their windshield. An urgent case of STOP is likely to happen anywhere that suits them, but especially when there's 10 vehicles stacked up waiting to get around.
Hint: parking spaces are for stopping. Lanes are for moving. Please.
2) Folks piloting huge SUV's and trucks with 60" tires, quad-shocks on each wheel, 16" lift kits, with off-roading decals and header pipes will pull into Marina City with all the thunder of Thor commandeering Valhalla ... but then slam on the brakes to creep over speed bumps at a snails' pace ... more slowly than I can crawl through calculus equations in my head (and I never took calculus).
I mean if you wanna see the sights, then pull outta the way of folks who know where they're going.
And don't be scared of hitting speed bumps if you're qualified to drive a Big Rig.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Who ya gonna campaign for in November?
-from "Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee"
"The two fastest-growing church bodies in the United States and Canada, according to a newly published report, are ones whose beliefs are known to conflict with traditional Christian teaching.
"The two fastest-growing church bodies in the United States and Canada, according to a newly published report, are ones whose beliefs are known to conflict with traditional Christian teaching.
"Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, regarded by many Christians as cults, reported the largest membership increases in a year, according to the National Council of Churches’ 2008 Yearbook of American & Canadian Churches." - read more here
Acts of Worship, Patterns of the World, Reaching the World
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:1-2
---
"These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.
---
"These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.
Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.
He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." -Mark 16:13-15
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The MegaMellow Message?
Yesterday on the FM I heard a radio preacher, I can't remember his name, suggest something like, "It makes you wonder how the message is being mellowed in megachurches to attract such big numbers."
Diggity diggity then, radio dog: did ya forget that no church ever started out being a megachurch?
Why is it so tempting, and so easy, for "traditional" churches to assume that "megachurches" must be "mellowing down the message" ... assuming a priori that otherwise, megachurches wouldn't reach so many people for Christ? Why do critics keep trying to limit God and squeeze him down to fit their convenient little church-in-a-box?
A church that's not adding seats is a church that's stopped reaching people for Christ. Period.
This question could be posed instead: "It makes you wonder why traditional Me-First churches are alienating people from God by keeping the Gospel of Jesus Christ all to themselves."
So what's the biggest difference between a scripturally-based "megachurch" and the scripturally-based church down the street?
A megachurch has more seats.
Diggity diggity then, radio dog: did ya forget that no church ever started out being a megachurch?
Why is it so tempting, and so easy, for "traditional" churches to assume that "megachurches" must be "mellowing down the message" ... assuming a priori that otherwise, megachurches wouldn't reach so many people for Christ? Why do critics keep trying to limit God and squeeze him down to fit their convenient little church-in-a-box?
A church that's not adding seats is a church that's stopped reaching people for Christ. Period.
This question could be posed instead: "It makes you wonder why traditional Me-First churches are alienating people from God by keeping the Gospel of Jesus Christ all to themselves."
So what's the biggest difference between a scripturally-based "megachurch" and the scripturally-based church down the street?
A megachurch has more seats.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
ChurchMaster Classic
-humor
This weekend Marina City is hosting the acclaimed BassMasters Classic fishing tournament; you can catch live coverage on ESPN.
Having spent a considerable amount of my life knowing what fish look like (and which side of a boat floats), I consider myself something of an expert when it comes to offering suggestions, advice and opinions about fishing.
So this morning I trotted down to the marina office and jumped right in with some helpful suggestions and criticism about how to run a fishing tournament ... just like we did at my old marina.
-We need a dress code. Something about anglers wearing outfits color-coordinated with their bass boats scares me
-Engines are too loud. Turn 'em down and be respectful of those of us trying to sleep!
-Too many contestants. I like a more personal tournament, where all the contestants know my name
-I don't want people from Georgia riding around on my lake. (They're my relatives, after all)
You can imagination the enthusiastic suggestions I received in turn ...
(Please send cash in lieu of flowers to facilitate my speedy and complete bodily recovery.)
Roll bass, roll tide.
:-)
This weekend Marina City is hosting the acclaimed BassMasters Classic fishing tournament; you can catch live coverage on ESPN.
Having spent a considerable amount of my life knowing what fish look like (and which side of a boat floats), I consider myself something of an expert when it comes to offering suggestions, advice and opinions about fishing.
So this morning I trotted down to the marina office and jumped right in with some helpful suggestions and criticism about how to run a fishing tournament ... just like we did at my old marina.
-We need a dress code. Something about anglers wearing outfits color-coordinated with their bass boats scares me
-Engines are too loud. Turn 'em down and be respectful of those of us trying to sleep!
-Too many contestants. I like a more personal tournament, where all the contestants know my name
-I don't want people from Georgia riding around on my lake. (They're my relatives, after all)
You can imagination the enthusiastic suggestions I received in turn ...
(Please send cash in lieu of flowers to facilitate my speedy and complete bodily recovery.)
Roll bass, roll tide.
:-)
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Vantage Point
People been asking me, "So where's the best place to 'catch' all the action at this weekend's Bassmaster Classic?"
I'd have to say a firm answer is still up in the air.
I'd have to say a firm answer is still up in the air.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
President Bush in Tanzania
"DAR ES SALAAM, Tanzania (CNN) -- President George W. Bush signed a multi-million dollar aid deal with the government of Tanzania Sunday morning on the second stop of his five-nation tour of Africa.The compact, agreed with Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete, will provide a $698 million Millennium Challenge grant to the nation. Bush's six-day tour of the continent is intended to stress U.S. initiatives to combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and poverty in the region.
Billboards and dancers wearing President Bush's likeness Saturday welcomed the U.S. leader and first lady Laura Bush to Tanzania Saturday.
Enthusiastic crowds lined the road from Dar es Salaam's airport to the hotel where the Bushes are staying. Billboards along the road expressed thanks to the president for anti-AIDS efforts and other U.S. help." - read full story
Saturday, February 16, 2008
No, I'm fine thank you
Overheard during breakfast ...
A server wearing rubber gloves, carrying a bucket filled with cleaning supplies, approached the folks sitting at the booth beside me and said, "I gotta go clean the restroom. Can I get ya'll anything else?"
A server wearing rubber gloves, carrying a bucket filled with cleaning supplies, approached the folks sitting at the booth beside me and said, "I gotta go clean the restroom. Can I get ya'll anything else?"
churchsportsbook.com?
-from today's Anderson Independent Mail:
A state Senate subcommittee has approved legislation that would exempt the two groups from South Carolina’s 200-year-old law that prohibits dice and card games."
Some faiths teach that tithing is an "old covenant" remnant and no longer applies to believers, which has lead some cash-crunched congregations to consider "alternative income streams" ... like gambling.
Wonder what we'd see first?
Bingo baptism services? Blackjack for Baptists? Dice for Christ? Slot machines in the vestibule? Fundamentalist Football parlay cards?
Ugh, seems like we don't mind parting with money ... so long as we're having double-down FUN! doing it.
"Anderson faith leaders don't see gambling as a possibility for their churches
ANDERSON COUNTY — Some Anderson faith leaders say they are wary of the chance that churches and nonprofits soon could be able to host card and casino nights to raise money.A state Senate subcommittee has approved legislation that would exempt the two groups from South Carolina’s 200-year-old law that prohibits dice and card games."
Some faiths teach that tithing is an "old covenant" remnant and no longer applies to believers, which has lead some cash-crunched congregations to consider "alternative income streams" ... like gambling.
Wonder what we'd see first?
Bingo baptism services? Blackjack for Baptists? Dice for Christ? Slot machines in the vestibule? Fundamentalist Football parlay cards?
Ugh, seems like we don't mind parting with money ... so long as we're having double-down FUN! doing it.
Friday, February 15, 2008
sea change at Daytona?
Toyota Steals American Thunder During Daytona Qualifying ...
"DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. -- On a milestone day for Toyota, NASCAR's newest manufacturer, veteran drivers stole the show Thursday at Daytona International Speedway.
With a push from Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Tony Stewart, Denny Hamlin won the second Gatorade Duel 150 qualifying race for Sunday's Daytona 500 in a green-white-checkered-flag finish that took the event four laps beyond its posted distance. The victory for Toyota was the second for a foreign manufacturer in NASCAR's top series. Jaguar driver Al Keller won a road-course race in Linden, N.J., in 1954."
Race Lineup
| 1. | Jimmie Johnson | Chevrolet |
| 2. | Michael Waltrip | Toyota |
| 3. | Dale Earnhardt Jr. | Chevrolet |
| 4. | Denny Hamlin | Toyota |
| 5. | Reed Sorenson | Dodge |
| 6. | Tony Stewart | Toyota |
| 7. | Ryan Newman | Dodge |
| 8. | Jeff Gordon | Chevrolet |
| 9. | Casey Mears | Chevrolet |
| 10. | Kasey Kahne | Dodge |
-source
Thursday, February 14, 2008
a living love letter
"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." -1 John 4:19-21
"You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." - II Corinthians 3:3-6
"You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." - II Corinthians 3:3-6
News that's new
Swiss bank UBS reports huge loss for 2007 after subprime debacle
"Swiss banking giant UBS said on Thursday it had suffered a net loss of 4.4 billion Swiss francs (4.0 billion dollars, 2.7 billion euros) in 2007 after losing billions in the US mortgage crisis.
The loss -- the bank's first-ever full-year loss -- compared to a profit of 12.3 billion Swiss francs in 2006 and was in line with forecasts." -source
Thai elephant at Sydney zoo pregnant
"Sydney's Taronga Zoo has officially announced the pregnancy of one its Asian elephants. The elephant is expected to give birth in June 2009.
The eight-year-old elephant, named Thong Dee, is one of four female elephants brought to Taronga Zoo from Thailand in 2005.
News of the pregnancy was leaked to the media, when Lee Rhiannon, an MP from the Greens Party, expressed concern the zoo had put the animal at risk by allowing her to get pregnant before reaching maturity.
Taronga Zoo denies the elephant is too young to reproduce, saying experts examined the female Asian elephants at the zoo last year and all were found to be healthy and fertile." - source
Saudi Arabia: Halt Woman’s Execution for ‘Witchcraft’
"(New York, February 14, 2008) – King Abdullah should halt the execution of Fawza Falih and void her conviction for “witchcraft,” Human Rights Watch said in a letter to the Saudi king.
"The religious police who arrested and interrogated Fawza Falih and the judges who tried her in the northern town of Quraiyat never gave her the opportunity to prove her innocence against absurd charges that have no basis in law.
“The fact that Saudi judges still conduct trials for unprovable crimes like ‘witchcraft’ underscores their inability to carry out objective criminal investigations,” said Joe Stork, Middle East director at Human Rights Watch. “Fawza Falih’s case is an example of how the authorities failed to comply even with existing safeguards in the Saudi justice system.” -source
Zimbabwe's inflation surges to 66,000 per cent
"HARARE (AFP) — Zimbabwe's inflation rate, already the highest in the world, has soared to a new high of 66,212.3 percent, according to official figures obtained by AFP on Thursday.
""This means that prices as measured by the all items CPI, increased by an average 66,212.3 percent between December 2006 and December 2007." -source
Shanghaiese Symbol for LOST:
失
"Swiss banking giant UBS said on Thursday it had suffered a net loss of 4.4 billion Swiss francs (4.0 billion dollars, 2.7 billion euros) in 2007 after losing billions in the US mortgage crisis.
The loss -- the bank's first-ever full-year loss -- compared to a profit of 12.3 billion Swiss francs in 2006 and was in line with forecasts." -source
Thai elephant at Sydney zoo pregnant
"Sydney's Taronga Zoo has officially announced the pregnancy of one its Asian elephants. The elephant is expected to give birth in June 2009.
The eight-year-old elephant, named Thong Dee, is one of four female elephants brought to Taronga Zoo from Thailand in 2005.
News of the pregnancy was leaked to the media, when Lee Rhiannon, an MP from the Greens Party, expressed concern the zoo had put the animal at risk by allowing her to get pregnant before reaching maturity.
Taronga Zoo denies the elephant is too young to reproduce, saying experts examined the female Asian elephants at the zoo last year and all were found to be healthy and fertile." - source
Saudi Arabia: Halt Woman’s Execution for ‘Witchcraft’
"(New York, February 14, 2008) – King Abdullah should halt the execution of Fawza Falih and void her conviction for “witchcraft,” Human Rights Watch said in a letter to the Saudi king.
"The religious police who arrested and interrogated Fawza Falih and the judges who tried her in the northern town of Quraiyat never gave her the opportunity to prove her innocence against absurd charges that have no basis in law.
“The fact that Saudi judges still conduct trials for unprovable crimes like ‘witchcraft’ underscores their inability to carry out objective criminal investigations,” said Joe Stork, Middle East director at Human Rights Watch. “Fawza Falih’s case is an example of how the authorities failed to comply even with existing safeguards in the Saudi justice system.” -source
Zimbabwe's inflation surges to 66,000 per cent
"HARARE (AFP) — Zimbabwe's inflation rate, already the highest in the world, has soared to a new high of 66,212.3 percent, according to official figures obtained by AFP on Thursday.
""This means that prices as measured by the all items CPI, increased by an average 66,212.3 percent between December 2006 and December 2007." -source
Shanghaiese Symbol for LOST:
失
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Gossip Hound
No one enjoys being the subject of gossip, but sometimes the dirt blows back in the most doggone directions.
Coupla years ago the girl I was dating came by after work and told me, "I ran into So-and-So today, and she said she saw you driving down Clemson Boulevard this afternoon with your daughter."
The girl I was dating continued, "When I told So-and-So you didn't have a daughter, So-and-So's eyes started bulging in their sockets.
"Well," So-and-So confided, "The girl I saw was riding in the front seat and had long blond hair so I just assumed it was Joe's daughter.'" Implying something else, of course, which is what gossips do.
A few days later, we introduced So-and-So to my "daughter" ....
Coupla years ago the girl I was dating came by after work and told me, "I ran into So-and-So today, and she said she saw you driving down Clemson Boulevard this afternoon with your daughter."
The girl I was dating continued, "When I told So-and-So you didn't have a daughter, So-and-So's eyes started bulging in their sockets.
"Well," So-and-So confided, "The girl I saw was riding in the front seat and had long blond hair so I just assumed it was Joe's daughter.'" Implying something else, of course, which is what gossips do.
A few days later, we introduced So-and-So to my "daughter" ....
Guys, avoid self-destructing on Valentine's Day
-humor
Word up, dude. You may think a woman loves reading a bunch of goo when she opens her Valentine card, but choose the words you write very carefully ... and don't scribble down the first thing that pops in your head just because it sounds romantic.
There's sweet-sounding lines that'll backfire & kill romance faster than ketchup stains a new white shirt. Some fool-hardy examples include:
- Seems like ages ago, but I remember you were hot when we first met
- I wonder what's going on inside your head. Probably nothing, but ...
- You're the one I think about spending my life with any time we're together
- Even a loser could see there's something special about you
- I've learned not to dwell on the past, and promise to quit bringing it up
- I don't know what I did to deserve this
- I hope you never catch me doing anything that makes you mistrust me
And please, avoid this next one at all possible cost:
- It's like I've known you my entire life, probably because you remind me of my mom
Hope everybody has The Valentine's Day they've been dreaming about! xxx ooo xxx, swak, etc.
Word up, dude. You may think a woman loves reading a bunch of goo when she opens her Valentine card, but choose the words you write very carefully ... and don't scribble down the first thing that pops in your head just because it sounds romantic.
There's sweet-sounding lines that'll backfire & kill romance faster than ketchup stains a new white shirt. Some fool-hardy examples include:
- Seems like ages ago, but I remember you were hot when we first met
- I wonder what's going on inside your head. Probably nothing, but ...
- You're the one I think about spending my life with any time we're together
- Even a loser could see there's something special about you
- I've learned not to dwell on the past, and promise to quit bringing it up
- I don't know what I did to deserve this
- I hope you never catch me doing anything that makes you mistrust me
And please, avoid this next one at all possible cost:
- It's like I've known you my entire life, probably because you remind me of my mom
Hope everybody has The Valentine's Day they've been dreaming about! xxx ooo xxx, swak, etc.
It's the smallest son of arboreal pterosaur
"A tiny, toothless pterodactyl with bat-like wings, bird-like claws and a sharp, pointy beak has just been identified from a remarkably well-preserved Chinese fossil, according to a paper published today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences." -source
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Batteries not included?
The Cheapest Car in the World
The Tata Nano
The Tata Nano4-Door Hatchback
Distributed In India
98,094 Rupees; $2,497
The Nano is a pet project of Ratan Tata, chairman of India-based Tata Motors, who imagined a low-cost vehicle that could safely transport a family in India who otherwise couldn't afford a car. It is about 10 feet long and five feet wide. The 2-cylinder petrol engine delivers 33 horsepower and a top speed of just over 60 mph. The basic model has no radio, air-conditioning or air bags, but it does have seat belts and a catalytic converter to reduce air pollution, and it gets 50 miles to the gallon. It meets all current safety and emissions requirements in India, and will be ready for market later this year. - Forbes
it's the little things that count
Did ya know that "Something," "Wonderful Tonight" and "Layla" were all written about the same woman?
Pattie Boyd
Ok guys ... so what're you doing for your sweetie on Thursday? Say.
Pattie BoydOk guys ... so what're you doing for your sweetie on Thursday? Say.
So true, sadly
-from Tuesday's "What's Wrong With This Guy Anyway?" Department:
I was still half-asleep this morning when I reached under my head to re-arrange the pillow. Thing is, I grabbed the back of my hoodie instead.
I figured this out after about 5 minutes.
I was still half-asleep this morning when I reached under my head to re-arrange the pillow. Thing is, I grabbed the back of my hoodie instead.
I figured this out after about 5 minutes.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Acts of Obedience and Reverence
-satire
Being Totally Religious: Lesson #4
How should believers act around non-believers? More importantly, how should believers act in church? Often it's easy to tell where a believer's heart is simply by how he or she acts.
Start by studying these Acting Lessons.
Acting Obedient Around Non-believers:
1. Act Stern when meeting strangers. There's no better indication of your self-righteousness than a frown to let others know "Something's wrong with you." Sneer, as required
2. Act Superior by making dagger eyes, then stare & scowl at their clothes. People who dress poorly reflect badly on the entire congregation and can only deflate how others measure your importance
3. Act Busy by ignoring church visitors: besides, they're likely to be sinners
4. Act Indignant by wincing and snorting before answering questions. This lets sinners know you're offended by their faults & weaknesses
5. Act Suspicious or Betrayed when confronting new situations and challenges. What you don't already know is obviously unimportant anyway
Reverence in Church: keeping up the act
1. Act tired and fatigued, to let others know you've been busy doing the Lord's business
2. Act generous, to make sure your voice gets heard first at Budget Meetings
3. Act reverent and morose, because no matter how hard others may try to be perfect, they can only disappoint you
4. Act as though nothing's ever good enough, but be patient before voicing your opinion; everybody knows they'll hear it eventually anyway
5. Act like you have the church's best interests at heart; it's the best way to get exactly what you want without others catching on
Being Totally Religious: Lesson #4
How should believers act around non-believers? More importantly, how should believers act in church? Often it's easy to tell where a believer's heart is simply by how he or she acts.
Start by studying these Acting Lessons.
Acting Obedient Around Non-believers:
1. Act Stern when meeting strangers. There's no better indication of your self-righteousness than a frown to let others know "Something's wrong with you." Sneer, as required
2. Act Superior by making dagger eyes, then stare & scowl at their clothes. People who dress poorly reflect badly on the entire congregation and can only deflate how others measure your importance
3. Act Busy by ignoring church visitors: besides, they're likely to be sinners
4. Act Indignant by wincing and snorting before answering questions. This lets sinners know you're offended by their faults & weaknesses
5. Act Suspicious or Betrayed when confronting new situations and challenges. What you don't already know is obviously unimportant anyway
Reverence in Church: keeping up the act
1. Act tired and fatigued, to let others know you've been busy doing the Lord's business
2. Act generous, to make sure your voice gets heard first at Budget Meetings
3. Act reverent and morose, because no matter how hard others may try to be perfect, they can only disappoint you
4. Act as though nothing's ever good enough, but be patient before voicing your opinion; everybody knows they'll hear it eventually anyway
5. Act like you have the church's best interests at heart; it's the best way to get exactly what you want without others catching on
Going Deeper (really deeper) [fixed broken demo video link]
Come on, you know you want one ...
The VideoRay Deep Blue Submersible Robot
"The VideoRay Deep Blue is ideally suited for deep missions. The Deep Blue can easily accommodate modular instrumentation and tools such as: scanning imaging sonar for low visibility environments; manipulator for object retrieval or intervention; positioning system for exhaustive area searches; water quality sensor, metal thickness gauge, and more. The Tether Deployment System (TDS) is included for quick coiling and recoiling of the tether." $46,500
-view demo video
-VideoRay web site
The VideoRay Deep Blue Submersible Robot
"The VideoRay Deep Blue is ideally suited for deep missions. The Deep Blue can easily accommodate modular instrumentation and tools such as: scanning imaging sonar for low visibility environments; manipulator for object retrieval or intervention; positioning system for exhaustive area searches; water quality sensor, metal thickness gauge, and more. The Tether Deployment System (TDS) is included for quick coiling and recoiling of the tether." $46,500-view demo video
-VideoRay web site
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Hold on tight
-from today's "Ouch, But I'm Sure It Only Looks Painful" Department:
Here's a youtube clip of several different guys firing a 577 Tyrannosaur rifle at an indoor range.
The 577 T-Rex is one of the hardest-kicking rifles around ... about like having a 160-lb weight free-fall into your shoulder ... and most of the "victims" appear to have no idea what's in store.
Enjoy :-)
Here's a youtube clip of several different guys firing a 577 Tyrannosaur rifle at an indoor range.
The 577 T-Rex is one of the hardest-kicking rifles around ... about like having a 160-lb weight free-fall into your shoulder ... and most of the "victims" appear to have no idea what's in store.
Enjoy :-)
My favorite Pharisee
4: 21 AM
... is the one who says "Rules and traditions define who I am and what my faith means. My religion's rules and traditions cease being man-made soon as they become important and sentimental to me."
... is the one who says "Rules and traditions define who I am and what my faith means. My religion's rules and traditions cease being man-made soon as they become important and sentimental to me."
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Breaking News
-from the "News That'll Never Happen" Department:
God Uncertain Regarding Election Outcome
Expressing concern over latest primary results, Creator calls mud-throwing, name-calling and back-room intrigue His candidate's "best chance" for victory.
God Uncertain Regarding Election Outcome
Expressing concern over latest primary results, Creator calls mud-throwing, name-calling and back-room intrigue His candidate's "best chance" for victory.
Selfishness Pays ... with interest [improved & super-updated]
"We deserve ours ... and all you other people can get in line behind us and wait till we're done."
The US is the greatest country on earth, right? The rest of the world is jealous, and that's why they hate Americans. Americans enjoy the highest standard of living and are the wealthiest people in the world, right?
Wrong ... in fact, the US isn't even close.
Standard of Living
1. Norway
2. Sweden
3. Canada
4. Belgium
5. Australia
6. United States
7. Iceland
8. Netherlands
9. Japan
10. Finland
-source
Snoozing in The American Dream Land
-U.S. students scored lower on science/literacy than their peers in 16 of the other 29 OECD jurisdictions and 6 of the 27 non-OECD [Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development] jurisdictions - source
-The US ranks #21 in Litericy (behind Armenia and Barbados)
-The US is the world's largest debtor nation.
"In recent years, the US trade deficit has reached roughly 6% of the GDP, a level former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker calls unsustainable." -wiki
-Every US citizen owes the federal government $$30,378.80 (babies and children are citizens, so figure about $79,000 per taxpayer). "Poor" countries like China and India are lending money to the US to service its debt)
Check out the National Debt Clock here.
-The second most expensive item in the US budget (after Defense spending) is paying interest on the national debt ... more than $1 billion per day in 2006. (NASA's annual budget is about $15 billion per year)
-Though accounting for only 5 percent of the world's population, Americans consume 26 percent of the world's energy -more energy info here
-The US ranks #45 in both Life Expectancy and Suicide Rates
---
I'm not crossing the line into politics, but look at today's headlines.
I hope it's not s sign of things to come that OPEC and other global oil suppliers, worried about the shrinking value of the dollar, might start asking to be paid in currencies other than dollars. Or that Great Britain is mussing with the idea of "constructive accommodation" with Islamic Shariah law.
Meanwhile Congress borrows another $168 billion to stimulate the world's greatest consumers into spending themselves even further into debt.
Don't get me wrong: Americans enjoy tremendous political freedom and have greater economic opportunity than any country in the world. Still I wonder if the US is the greatest country on earth ... or maybe just the most selfish.
I guess we'll find out when the bills come due.
The US is the greatest country on earth, right? The rest of the world is jealous, and that's why they hate Americans. Americans enjoy the highest standard of living and are the wealthiest people in the world, right?
Wrong ... in fact, the US isn't even close.
Standard of Living
1. Norway
2. Sweden
3. Canada
4. Belgium
5. Australia
6. United States
7. Iceland
8. Netherlands
9. Japan
10. Finland
-source
Snoozing in The American Dream Land
-U.S. students scored lower on science/literacy than their peers in 16 of the other 29 OECD jurisdictions and 6 of the 27 non-OECD [Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development] jurisdictions - source
-The US ranks #21 in Litericy (behind Armenia and Barbados)
-The US is the world's largest debtor nation.
"In recent years, the US trade deficit has reached roughly 6% of the GDP, a level former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker calls unsustainable." -wiki
-Every US citizen owes the federal government $$30,378.80 (babies and children are citizens, so figure about $79,000 per taxpayer). "Poor" countries like China and India are lending money to the US to service its debt)
Check out the National Debt Clock here.
-The second most expensive item in the US budget (after Defense spending) is paying interest on the national debt ... more than $1 billion per day in 2006. (NASA's annual budget is about $15 billion per year)
-Though accounting for only 5 percent of the world's population, Americans consume 26 percent of the world's energy -more energy info here
-The US ranks #45 in both Life Expectancy and Suicide Rates
---
I'm not crossing the line into politics, but look at today's headlines.
I hope it's not s sign of things to come that OPEC and other global oil suppliers, worried about the shrinking value of the dollar, might start asking to be paid in currencies other than dollars. Or that Great Britain is mussing with the idea of "constructive accommodation" with Islamic Shariah law.
Meanwhile Congress borrows another $168 billion to stimulate the world's greatest consumers into spending themselves even further into debt.
Don't get me wrong: Americans enjoy tremendous political freedom and have greater economic opportunity than any country in the world. Still I wonder if the US is the greatest country on earth ... or maybe just the most selfish.
I guess we'll find out when the bills come due.
Friday, February 08, 2008
"I remember a time when churches made it their business to ..."
"... make sure folks in the community behaved and started acting right. If the churches can't do that, then why on earth do we bother keeping the doors open in the first place?
"We gotta stand up right now and do something publicly to protest against liquor, adult book stores, pornography, TV programming, rock music, public health clinics, Sports Illustrated, local government, The Olson Twins, flu shots and fluoride, tight jeans and orange hair dye, the political party I disagree with, karaoke ... and especially folks who own cats should have to keep them leashed and licensed, too."
Time spent obsessing on man-made problems is time lost toward pursuing God's solution.
"We gotta stand up right now and do something publicly to protest against liquor, adult book stores, pornography, TV programming, rock music, public health clinics, Sports Illustrated, local government, The Olson Twins, flu shots and fluoride, tight jeans and orange hair dye, the political party I disagree with, karaoke ... and especially folks who own cats should have to keep them leashed and licensed, too."
Time spent obsessing on man-made problems is time lost toward pursuing God's solution.
"Pity the Poor Pharisees"
5:34 AM
Did the Pharisees get the short end of the spiritual stick? I mean, just think about it for a minute.
In the New Testament the Pharisees were a strict sect of Rabis whose compulsive devotion to rules and traditions might be politely described as obsessive.
But the Pharisees grew up religiously going to temple and "only doing the best they could," staying busy trying to be very strict and religious, to earn God's favor. Then, through no earthly fault of their own, Christ arrived on the scene ... and overturned their legalistic apple cart.
So how were they to know God made His own plans instead?
Oh my ... here they'd devoted their entire lives to publicly proving their piety, but still somehow managed to get it all wrong. How were the poor Pharisees, who loved rules SO MUCH, to know the rules had changed? How had their hard work, Legalism and traditions managed to fail them?
----
The Pharisees rejected Christ because they loved & worshiped what was safe and familiar, Legalism, instead of the living God. Which caused the Pharisees to miss recognizing the Messiah when he stood in the flesh before them. Their laws had become legal bars wedged so tightly together that their own rules kept them from seeing outside the cells of their spiritual captivity.
The Pharisees didn't love the Spirit; they loved their self-importance. They also loved emphasizing their OBLIGATION to force others to respect their self-righteousness.
Shoot, not even the light got inside the Pharisees' man-made reformatory.
Here's a story-book ending to the story ...
The best part for 21st-century believers is that after witnessing the Resurrection the Pharisees realized their man-made errors, apologized for all the confusion, Rules n' Traditions they'd created, and went voluntarily extinct (taking their R n' T music with them).
I mean, can you imagine what churches would be like today if the Pharisees had quietly escaped from the temples ... and slipped into modern-day pews, committees and the blog-o-sphere instead?
Did the Pharisees get the short end of the spiritual stick? I mean, just think about it for a minute.
In the New Testament the Pharisees were a strict sect of Rabis whose compulsive devotion to rules and traditions might be politely described as obsessive.
But the Pharisees grew up religiously going to temple and "only doing the best they could," staying busy trying to be very strict and religious, to earn God's favor. Then, through no earthly fault of their own, Christ arrived on the scene ... and overturned their legalistic apple cart.
So how were they to know God made His own plans instead?
Oh my ... here they'd devoted their entire lives to publicly proving their piety, but still somehow managed to get it all wrong. How were the poor Pharisees, who loved rules SO MUCH, to know the rules had changed? How had their hard work, Legalism and traditions managed to fail them?
----
The Pharisees rejected Christ because they loved & worshiped what was safe and familiar, Legalism, instead of the living God. Which caused the Pharisees to miss recognizing the Messiah when he stood in the flesh before them. Their laws had become legal bars wedged so tightly together that their own rules kept them from seeing outside the cells of their spiritual captivity.
The Pharisees didn't love the Spirit; they loved their self-importance. They also loved emphasizing their OBLIGATION to force others to respect their self-righteousness.
Shoot, not even the light got inside the Pharisees' man-made reformatory.
Here's a story-book ending to the story ...
The best part for 21st-century believers is that after witnessing the Resurrection the Pharisees realized their man-made errors, apologized for all the confusion, Rules n' Traditions they'd created, and went voluntarily extinct (taking their R n' T music with them).
I mean, can you imagine what churches would be like today if the Pharisees had quietly escaped from the temples ... and slipped into modern-day pews, committees and the blog-o-sphere instead?
Thursday, February 07, 2008
more annoying add-ons
"Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow."
-But blog to put off doing all three, haha.
"To achieve lasting literature, fictional or factual, a writer needs perceptive vision, absorptive capacity, and creative strength. "
-I'd settle for remembering "Righty tighty, lefty loosey."
"We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing much of our routine work. Printing is no longer the only way of reproducing books. Reading them, however, has not changed. "
-And reading will remain the easiest part of writing.
(all quotes from Lawrence Clark Powell)
-But blog to put off doing all three, haha.
"To achieve lasting literature, fictional or factual, a writer needs perceptive vision, absorptive capacity, and creative strength. "
-I'd settle for remembering "Righty tighty, lefty loosey."
"We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing much of our routine work. Printing is no longer the only way of reproducing books. Reading them, however, has not changed. "
-And reading will remain the easiest part of writing.
(all quotes from Lawrence Clark Powell)
the post I almost wrote ...
was gonna be about the nerve of some people.
See, there was a new guy here at The Breakfast Place who talks way too loud and has way too much fun to be taking his job seriously (which, as you know, can be disruptive and distracting when you're online and trying to eat ... while buried under the crushing burden of trying to stay caught up on Facebook).
This dude had the audacity to call his daughter on the phone, in front of everybody, and sing her a roof-shaking Happy Birthday for her sixth birthday.
Then, cringe, he had the nerve to come over and actually start talking to me. One on one. Telling me about his life and goals and stuff. I could hardly get a word in edge-wise.
Turns out he goes to Redemption. Turns out their message last night came from Galatians.
Turns out new friends can show up when you're least expecting it ... and I learn a lot from posts that don't get written.
See, there was a new guy here at The Breakfast Place who talks way too loud and has way too much fun to be taking his job seriously (which, as you know, can be disruptive and distracting when you're online and trying to eat ... while buried under the crushing burden of trying to stay caught up on Facebook).
This dude had the audacity to call his daughter on the phone, in front of everybody, and sing her a roof-shaking Happy Birthday for her sixth birthday.
Then, cringe, he had the nerve to come over and actually start talking to me. One on one. Telling me about his life and goals and stuff. I could hardly get a word in edge-wise.
Turns out he goes to Redemption. Turns out their message last night came from Galatians.
Turns out new friends can show up when you're least expecting it ... and I learn a lot from posts that don't get written.
borrowed
-from the "Humor, Hopefully" Department:
Yesterday a friend's blog included a post titled 5 Weird Facts. Here's 5 of my own ...
- Sometimes I still count using my fingers
- I watch movies without ever knowing the characters' names (I gotta see faces to follow the plot)
- I get uneasy every time something familiar becomes "New & Improved! or Updated"
- Everything tastes better with Texas Pete
- I can't decide whether I'd rather have:
cat whiskers, or compound eyes
grasshopper legs, or twin USB ports for nostrils
my hair replaced with outdoor carpet, or feathers
Yesterday a friend's blog included a post titled 5 Weird Facts. Here's 5 of my own ...
- Sometimes I still count using my fingers
- I watch movies without ever knowing the characters' names (I gotta see faces to follow the plot)
- I get uneasy every time something familiar becomes "New & Improved! or Updated"
- Everything tastes better with Texas Pete
- I can't decide whether I'd rather have:
cat whiskers, or compound eyes
grasshopper legs, or twin USB ports for nostrils
my hair replaced with outdoor carpet, or feathers
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Pickfordese
"It would have been more logical if silent pictures had grown out of the talkies instead of the other way around."
"Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo."
"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."
-Mary Pickford
Hey ... can I get some answers about my life, please?
"Prayer is fine for some people, but other times I need advice from a living person with a face about what to do and where to go with my life."
You mean like ...
and least of all ...
You mean like ...
and least of all ...
Start acting like a Christian!
8:56 AM
Gimme that Old Time Religion--- It's Good Enough For me*
"Accepting Christ is just the first part of salvation, but you gotta do YOUR part by being obedient. Being obedient means following the rules ... and acting like a Christian.
"So what are the basic rules about being Religious and ACTING Like A Christian?
1. That means going to church 3 times in a week (one with stained glass windows and a steeple)
2. That means worshiping (with 18th century hymns, choir robes, an organ & cantatas)
3. That means being reverent (by dressing up in your best coat n' tie)
4. That means praying (especially when others are within ear shot)
5. That means witnessing to others (except when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient)
6. That means abstaining from alcohol and sexual sins (in public)
7. That means walking upright (so it's easier to look down on others)
8. That means not swearing (but cursing with words that rhyme with profanity is legally OK)
9. That means being religious and living apart from the world (by being pious, self-righteous, arrogant and condescending)
10. That means reading the Bible (assumed when you're spotted toting one around in the vestibule on Sunday mornings)
11. That means sharing freely with others (especially your anger, opinions and advice)
12. That means serving (publicly for acclaim, and on committees)
13. That means standing by your principles (and waiting for others to apologize & ask for forgiveness first)
14. That means not seeking revenge (unless the opportunity presents itself)
15. That means creating more n' more rules (so others can be inspired & follow your example)."
-and that's what counts
Gimme that Old Time Religion--- It's Good Enough For me*
"Accepting Christ is just the first part of salvation, but you gotta do YOUR part by being obedient. Being obedient means following the rules ... and acting like a Christian.
"So what are the basic rules about being Religious and ACTING Like A Christian?
1. That means going to church 3 times in a week (one with stained glass windows and a steeple)
2. That means worshiping (with 18th century hymns, choir robes, an organ & cantatas)
3. That means being reverent (by dressing up in your best coat n' tie)
4. That means praying (especially when others are within ear shot)
5. That means witnessing to others (except when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient)
6. That means abstaining from alcohol and sexual sins (in public)
7. That means walking upright (so it's easier to look down on others)
8. That means not swearing (but cursing with words that rhyme with profanity is legally OK)
9. That means being religious and living apart from the world (by being pious, self-righteous, arrogant and condescending)
10. That means reading the Bible (assumed when you're spotted toting one around in the vestibule on Sunday mornings)
11. That means sharing freely with others (especially your anger, opinions and advice)
12. That means serving (publicly for acclaim, and on committees)
13. That means standing by your principles (and waiting for others to apologize & ask for forgiveness first)
14. That means not seeking revenge (unless the opportunity presents itself)
15. That means creating more n' more rules (so others can be inspired & follow your example)."
-and that's what counts
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Urgency vs Heaven can wait
Funny how prayers for the things I want can be riddled with wide-eyed urgency ... like "Heavenly Father, I can't wait ... let my will be done!"
Because my time-scale becomes much more laid-back & patient when it comes to answering "Your will be done."
Because my time-scale becomes much more laid-back & patient when it comes to answering "Your will be done."
Exactly
The other day I heard that the minister at a local community outreach program had serious misgivings about "recommending" our church to the folks he served.
His explanation was that "Their pastor doesn't take religion seriously."
Ah ... wasn't that the key point of Christ's message, after all?
- - -
"I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" - Galatians 3:2-3
His explanation was that "Their pastor doesn't take religion seriously."
Ah ... wasn't that the key point of Christ's message, after all?
- - -
"I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" - Galatians 3:2-3
Monday, February 04, 2008
Blood Sucking Leeches
If you feel safe, comfortable and satisfied at your church then give this message a listen.
ps. Where did the "feel good church" thing come from anyway?
ps. Where did the "feel good church" thing come from anyway?
What's that in the lake, a duck?
Are ya tired of reading my long-winded boat stories?
You should be there when they're happening in real-life: I'm especially tired of living them.
I pulled up the anchor this morning and decided to circle the unfamiliar little island before heading back, so I'd be more familiar next time out.
So then I see a duck about thirty feet ahead, slightly off to the right. But as I get closer the duck shows no indication of moving. When I'm about 20 feet away I realize it ain't no duck.
It's the top of a tree.
Never mind that the depth finder indicated there was 35 feet of water underneath me: the lake's down almost 20 feet and all sorts of stuff that's been submerged for 40 years has started rearing up from the bottom. I jerked both engines into reverse and crept backwards like a blind mouse right outta there.
Well, I'm sure I had a point when I started ... I'm just glad it's not protruding through the bottom of the hull.
You should be there when they're happening in real-life: I'm especially tired of living them.
I pulled up the anchor this morning and decided to circle the unfamiliar little island before heading back, so I'd be more familiar next time out.
So then I see a duck about thirty feet ahead, slightly off to the right. But as I get closer the duck shows no indication of moving. When I'm about 20 feet away I realize it ain't no duck.
It's the top of a tree.
Never mind that the depth finder indicated there was 35 feet of water underneath me: the lake's down almost 20 feet and all sorts of stuff that's been submerged for 40 years has started rearing up from the bottom. I jerked both engines into reverse and crept backwards like a blind mouse right outta there.
Well, I'm sure I had a point when I started ... I'm just glad it's not protruding through the bottom of the hull.
Seems like there's always seams somewhere
8:23 AM
-same GPS coordinates
It's raining hard right now and I'm pleasantly surprised Calypso's 24-year old canvas top is keeping 99% of the water out.
A 99% success rate sounds pretty good ... except that it's 47 degrees outside and a 47 degree body-bath don't feel good.
Funny how leaks seem to show up most often near seams in the fabric, hmmm.
-same GPS coordinates
It's raining hard right now and I'm pleasantly surprised Calypso's 24-year old canvas top is keeping 99% of the water out.
A 99% success rate sounds pretty good ... except that it's 47 degrees outside and a 47 degree body-bath don't feel good.
Funny how leaks seem to show up most often near seams in the fabric, hmmm.
UFO over Lake Hartwell
7:05 am
N 34 29.65
W 082 48.471
Ok that was weird.
I anchored out last night near an unnamed island. Then a few minutes before dawn this morning I glanced out Calypso's port port (left window) just in time to see a bright, pulsing white light streak across the sky.
It's impossible to estimate an object's size and speed without knowing its distance, but what I saw was too low and way too fast to be an airplane: it moved through a 90-degree field of view in about 6 seconds ... in other words it would've appeared at one horizon and disappeared at the other in about 12 seconds.
Whoa.
I jumped to the helm for a better look before the light totally disappeared from sight ... and immediately encountered the unexpected: the light was attached to a radio tower on shore and towers don't fly,
The light appeared to be moving at an incredible speed because Calypso was pivoting counter-clockwise on her anchor line.
So there ya go. Boats move; radio towers not so much. End of mystery.
Sorry to report there were no flying saucers diving to their secret base at the bottom of Lake Hartwell, no little green men in silver suits stealing cattle, no lurid tale of abduction by extraterrestrials, not even a telepathic robot instructing me to "Take me to your leader."
But I'm still pretty sure I did see Oprah's face in an oatmeal cookie once.
From Monday's "What's that got to do with anything?" Department
Last night when I arrived the lake was smooth as glass. Shoot, conditions were so calm that once I was on course I literally didn't have to touch the wheel the whole way out.
Well, the weather forecast said conditions would change overnight and they did: right now there's a combination of wind and current trying to push Calypso backwards toward the shallows.
Precisely where I don't want her to go because rocks, stumps, jagged roots and who knows what other nasties lurking down there would eagerly disrespect her integrity and thoughtlessly punch unwelcome holes in her bottom.
Thank goodness her anchor is solid. Thank goodness her anchor's still holding.
Why are boats named after women anyway?
Calypso would rather be GOING than sitting still and she's letting me know she's restless & morose by twisting n' groaning against her anchor. That's her way of pouting & saying she'd rather be making waves in public with her throttles open and the wind in her face and she thinks her anchor is weighing her down.
She can't grasp that her anchor's there for a reason: to keep her safe and afloat in the worst possible conditions.
At least from my perspective that means Calypso's anchor is also her most dependable friend.
N 34 29.65
W 082 48.471
Ok that was weird.
I anchored out last night near an unnamed island. Then a few minutes before dawn this morning I glanced out Calypso's port port (left window) just in time to see a bright, pulsing white light streak across the sky.
It's impossible to estimate an object's size and speed without knowing its distance, but what I saw was too low and way too fast to be an airplane: it moved through a 90-degree field of view in about 6 seconds ... in other words it would've appeared at one horizon and disappeared at the other in about 12 seconds.
Whoa.
I jumped to the helm for a better look before the light totally disappeared from sight ... and immediately encountered the unexpected: the light was attached to a radio tower on shore and towers don't fly,
The light appeared to be moving at an incredible speed because Calypso was pivoting counter-clockwise on her anchor line.
So there ya go. Boats move; radio towers not so much. End of mystery.
Sorry to report there were no flying saucers diving to their secret base at the bottom of Lake Hartwell, no little green men in silver suits stealing cattle, no lurid tale of abduction by extraterrestrials, not even a telepathic robot instructing me to "Take me to your leader."
But I'm still pretty sure I did see Oprah's face in an oatmeal cookie once.
From Monday's "What's that got to do with anything?" Department
Last night when I arrived the lake was smooth as glass. Shoot, conditions were so calm that once I was on course I literally didn't have to touch the wheel the whole way out.
Well, the weather forecast said conditions would change overnight and they did: right now there's a combination of wind and current trying to push Calypso backwards toward the shallows.
Precisely where I don't want her to go because rocks, stumps, jagged roots and who knows what other nasties lurking down there would eagerly disrespect her integrity and thoughtlessly punch unwelcome holes in her bottom.
Thank goodness her anchor is solid. Thank goodness her anchor's still holding.
Why are boats named after women anyway?
Calypso would rather be GOING than sitting still and she's letting me know she's restless & morose by twisting n' groaning against her anchor. That's her way of pouting & saying she'd rather be making waves in public with her throttles open and the wind in her face and she thinks her anchor is weighing her down.
She can't grasp that her anchor's there for a reason: to keep her safe and afloat in the worst possible conditions.
At least from my perspective that means Calypso's anchor is also her most dependable friend.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Luke-Warm Coffeewalker
"Starbucks said it will close 100 underperforming U.S. stores, or roughly 1% of its current coffee shops, by the end of September. It also cut the pace of new store openings by 425 outlets for fiscal 2008. Starbucks currently operates more than 11,160 U.S. stores.
“By reducing the number of openings, we expect to optimize our resources and potentially reduce cannibalization of our existing stores,” founder and CEO Howard Schultz said.
McDonald’s has moved onto Starbucks’ turf in the past year, selling new coffee, undercutting Starbucks on price, and installing coffee baristas. Recently, Starbucks started testing $1 coffee and free refills at a few of its locations in Seattle." - source
OK so I still buy mine at the grocery store, by the 1-lb pre-ground bag.
The Runaway Baptist?
"Novelist John Grisham said it is time for Baptists to stop reading the Bible with so-called narrow literalness and celebrate diversity."
-source
-source
Locard's exchange principle
"Locard was the director of the very first crime laboratory in existence, located in Lyon, France.
" Locard's exchange principle states that 'with contact between two items, there will be an exchange' (Thornton, 1997).
"Essentially Locard's principle is applied to crime scenes in which the perpetrator(s) of a crime comes into contact with the scene, so he will both bring something into the scene and leave with something from the scene. Every contact leaves a trace.
"An easier way to remember this is that 'Every Contact Leaves a Trace.'"
-wiki
" Locard's exchange principle states that 'with contact between two items, there will be an exchange' (Thornton, 1997).
"Essentially Locard's principle is applied to crime scenes in which the perpetrator(s) of a crime comes into contact with the scene, so he will both bring something into the scene and leave with something from the scene. Every contact leaves a trace.
"An easier way to remember this is that 'Every Contact Leaves a Trace.'"
-wiki
Friday, February 01, 2008
word up
fac·ile \'fa-səl\ adj [MF, fr. L facilis, fr. facere to do — more at do] (15c)
1 a (1): easily accomplished or attained ‹a ~ victory› (2): shallow simplistic‹b : used or comprehended with ease c : readily manifested and often lacking sincerity or depth
-from Merriam Webster Dictionary and Thesaurus
Rules, traditions and legalism are much more facile than faith.
1 a (1): easily accomplished or attained ‹a ~ victory› (2): shallow simplistic‹b : used or comprehended with ease c : readily manifested and often lacking sincerity or depth
-from Merriam Webster Dictionary and Thesaurus
Rules, traditions and legalism are much more facile than faith.
boldly going, etc etc
From the "Friday Fone Fun" iDepartment:
So it's not really a Tricorder - but don't tell iSpock.
Just beam me up before the ibattery runs down.
Disclaimer: Some of my best friends use Macs.
So it's not really a Tricorder - but don't tell iSpock.
Just beam me up before the ibattery runs down.
Disclaimer: Some of my best friends use Macs.
words count
This morning I did a search through the New Testament (NIV) for the word "Encourage" and counted 36 hits.
The Book of Acts contained the most instances with 10. Then I looked for "Joy" too and found about 70 hits.
But "Love" was the clear & inevitable winner, with about 257.
Then I searched for "Scold" but Scold wasn't there. Not in either the Old or the New Testament. Neither was "Retaliation," "Sarcastic," "Demean," "Browbeat" or "Condescend." Not anywhere.
Hmmm. Can't find those words anywhere in Scripture ... so what're they doing written inside my heart?
The Book of Acts contained the most instances with 10. Then I looked for "Joy" too and found about 70 hits.
But "Love" was the clear & inevitable winner, with about 257.
Then I searched for "Scold" but Scold wasn't there. Not in either the Old or the New Testament. Neither was "Retaliation," "Sarcastic," "Demean," "Browbeat" or "Condescend." Not anywhere.
Hmmm. Can't find those words anywhere in Scripture ... so what're they doing written inside my heart?
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