Start acting like a Christian!

8:56 AM

Gimme that Old Time Religion--- It's Good Enough For me*

"Accepting Christ is just the first part of salvation, but you gotta do YOUR part by being obedient. Being obedient means following the rules ... and acting like a Christian.

"So what are the basic rules about being Religious and ACTING Like A Christian?

1. That means going to church 3 times in a week (one with stained glass windows and a steeple)
2. That means worshiping (with 18th century hymns, choir robes, an organ & cantatas)
3. That means being reverent (by dressing up in your best coat n' tie)
4. That means praying (especially when others are within ear shot)
5. That means witnessing to others (except when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient)
6. That means abstaining from alcohol and sexual sins (in public)
7. That means walking upright (so it's easier to look down on others)
8. That means not swearing (but cursing with words that rhyme with profanity is legally OK)
9. That means being religious and living apart from the world (by being pious, self-righteous, arrogant and condescending)
10. That means reading the Bible (assumed when you're spotted toting one around in the vestibule on Sunday mornings)
11. That means sharing freely with others (especially your anger, opinions and advice)
12. That means serving (publicly for acclaim, and on committees)
13. That means standing by your principles (and waiting for others to apologize & ask for forgiveness first)
14. That means not seeking revenge (unless the opportunity presents itself)
15. That means creating more n' more rules (so others can be inspired & follow your example)."



-and that's what counts