More juicy grist from the malicious church rumor mill

Uh oh. I heard a couple of new ones about our church last week.

These arrived just in time, too ... because the old saws about being "A cult", about "Having statues and ATMs in the atrium", about "Not allowing Bibles into the service" and "You can't join that church unless they audit your tax returns" all sound tired & worn by now.

Heck, even the whispers about "That pastor don't wear no shirt!" hardly brings a grin any more.

So here we go. The first is a certified side-splitter; at least I think so (though that's never saying much). :-) The other rumor is included because it's the first one I've heard that just happens to be true.

1. I heard they're hypocrites over there.
I like this one a lot, because for years the rumor had been "That's the church where anything goes!" So if the gossips are now calling us hypocrites, that must mean we've reformed (huh?) ... and moved up the Legalistic-ladder to become The Church Where Nothing's Allowed.

Because to be called Hypocrites, that means first ...

Actually, I have no idea what that means ... or even why I bothered trying to figure it out. Oh well.

2. They're only interested in getting bigger.
If "getting bigger" means pulling out all the stops to make the name of Jesus Christ famous, I guess the gossips finally scored one right between the eyes.

But I'm sure the gossips aimed that punch below the belt, because a church that's "only interested in getting bigger" sure sounds suspicious. Except that's what the body shoulda been doing since that Sunday morning about 1974 years ago, when the angels pointed to the big "Vacancy" sign over Christ's empty tomb and started singing "He is risen!"

Which is the good news the gossips shoulda been sharing all along.