are we having sex?

What's the distinction between "Sex" and "Not Actually Sex"?

Is oral sex really the same thing as "having sex"? And what about doing .... and then there's ... well, you get the idea. I mean, none of those things are really "having sex" so they're not technically sins, are they?

Who're we trying to fool?

If you were married, would you mind if your spouse did the same things, those things that "aren't actually having sex," with someone else? Would it be easy to look the other way and convince ourselves, "Well technically it's not adultery so it must be OK" ... and merrily go on about our business?

Or would "not actually having sex" start looking ... and feeling ... a lot like sin, after all? And then imagine how "We're not actually having sex" sounds from a Heavenly perspective.

Who're we trying to fool by playing sex word-games ... and who's being fooled?