Sure I'm saved ... just do the math

Salvation: the 51% solution

-51% Faith is all I need to feel like I'm saved
-51% Devotion is all I need to get God on MY side
-51% Forgiveness means I can still hold grudges and settle scores when I want to
-51% Obedience means I can keep my favorite sins intact & ready when I need them
-51% Involvement means my free time's not being wasted by volunteering at church
-51% Integrity means you can trust me, mostly. Really
-51% Commitment means I can walk out, quit or go church-shopping any time I feel like it
-51% Sacrifice means lots of cash leftover for BIG WEEKEND BLOW-OUT! sales
-51% of the way is as close to the cross as I'm willing to go