Oh ok, NOW I get it

6:22 AM

Ever been talking to somebody about something, then by the time the end of the conversation rolls around, you suddenly realize you’ve been talking about two (or sometimes three) entirely different things?

I’m not naming names, but some people out there (I’m probably one of them) sound like they use Dixie cups for a cell phone (or their service carrier’s one antenna is a set of rabbit ears bolted to the inside of the attic window in a furniture store in downtown Belton).

Doesn’t matter if their new Dufus-berry has all the latest features and can plot GPS coordinates pointing to the nearest gas station from the Antarctic, gets all the satellite sports channels in HDTV, burns DVDs and pops popcorn all at the same time.

Understanding what’s being said between alternating layers of static and dead-silent spots is like trying to communicate with a school of carp whose idea of a breakfast buffet is scouring algae off the bottom of my boat: every two minutes or so there’s suddenly a regurgitating grunt that vaguely resembles a word, but all the syllables in-between just sound like bubbles.

Ok, so what is it about Legalism that implies the word can mean one thing to one group of believers, yet have just about the totally opposite meaning to another? I mean, I’ve never once met a believer who’d argue, “Salvation only comes from following Old Testament law and especially the Ten Commandments.”

What you do hear instead is, “Doing good deeds and following the law isn’t enough because salvation only comes through faith ...“

Fine so far, but then in the next breath come all the But’s, the Real’s and the minutiae of Can’t:

-But a real believer can’t listen to secular (meaning Rock) music
-But a real believer can’t go to R-rated movies
-But a real believer can’t have tattoos, earrings or piercings
-But a real believer can’t wear jeans or tennis shoes to church
-But a real believer only reads the King James translation
-But a real believer can’t be a member of a circus like that so-called church

Gee, what just happened? How’d all those new rules get magically slipped into the playbook? Well just wait, because rules are like flies swarming atop fresh road-kill, and the more the merrier:

-But a real believer can’t touch alcohol
-But a real believer can’t dance (I never could anyway, so there)
-But a real believer can’t go to a movie on Sunday
-But a real believer can’t wear a two-piece bathing suit
-But a real believer can’t associate with sinners
-But a real believer can’t vote a certain way in political elections
-But real believers can’t clap in church

Oops, then we reach a point where the flies get so thick, you can’t even see what first caught their attention:

-But a real believer can't be divorced and become involved in ministry (ouch)
-But a real believer protests adult bookstores and takes pictures of any one going inside
-But a real believer can’t allow unwed mothers (or their kids) into church
-But a real believer can’t permit people of another race to visit their worship service
-But a real believer has an obligation to tell believers belonging to different denominations that they’re going straight to Hell

Shoot. Thinking up new rules to showcase my own self-righteousness (and keep other folks toeing the line) is so much fun I can’t stop.

-But a real church has a steeple, a baptistery depicting the River Jordan and stained glass windows
-But a real church can’t allow drums, electric guitars or video screens in the service
-But a real church has Sunday School, Easter cantatas and Wednesday night prayer meetings. And holds bake sales and car washes to finance their youth ministry
-But a real church can’t try to reach or witness to sinners by making their services creative, relevant or applicable
-But a real church can’t keep growing, and stays small enough where a pastor knows all the members by their first names, visits their sick pets in the animal hospital and sends everybody a personally-signed card on their birthday

Sounds like lots of spare Gotchas keep falling in the bottom of the spiritual parts kit, until finally the only tool churches have left is one big Can’t … which might explain why nothing ever gets done (I won’t even mention that the best way to fix loose nuts or stop squeaking gears is with a tight-fitting wrench that’s got a big handle).

Modern-day legalists might outwardly reject Legalism, without once recognizing that man-made traditions, rituals, “being religious” and “living by the rules” are still the same Pharisaical snare, a powerful web of conditions and guess-work that, once fallen into, traps us in place and prevents us from totally surrendering to Christ and knowing the freedom and joy of following him … not man-made rules and regulations.

Legalism is a maze with no exit, a directionless path leading us away from thanking God for his mercy, and toward forgetting that Christ’s sacrifice truly means Your Grace is enough for me.