I'm Most Thankful for ...

(satire)

This is the season when folks are given to reflecting about the things they're most thankful for, so it seems appropriate to share mine.

I'm most thankful for being ME. And here's the reasons why:

-I looked at all the poverty, disease and malnutrition that plagues most of the people living in the world, so I thoughtfully chose to be born here in the US

-Lots of folks whine and blame their present circumstances on their childhoods, so I looked at all the possible alternative and then picked my parents very carefully

-Even before I was born good health and longevity seemed important, to I chose to give myself those things. And also the general ability to keep everything in my life under control, too

-One little thing I did overlook was picking which college football teams will win every game, but no biggie

Other that that, anybody can read back over the blessings I choose for myself and see I did a pretty good job picking my life.

The only BIG thing I forgot to give myself before I was born was eternal life ... but with my long record of perfection and success, I figure there's no reason I can't negotiate my hereafter with The Almighty ... because I get to pick whether he exists, too (which makes me a VIP in His eyes)

When I get to Heaven He might even look forward to hearing a few ideas I got about hell and fairness, and making Himself clearer in scripture about what's sinful. And what stuff I can get away with when He's not looking

Heck, look at me jumping the gun. Maybe I'll just worship a god of my own creation till I die ... like sex, money or material success. Since I decided before I was born that they're all equally important with God anyway.

I mean, I musta given myself plenty of time to change my mind if I'm wrong.

Didn't I?

"He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind." - 1 Samuel 15:29


Hey, enjoy today's games ... and hope your teams win!