I like fun movies. I like fun a lot.
I started wondering the other day about why some movies are a dull waste of popcorn, and why others so effectively fill my craving for vapidity in a way that neither Fear Factor nor Britney & Kevin can match. I'm talking of course about the great action films that kept us on the edge of our seats for a full 90 minutes ... films like Khiladiyon ka Khiladi and Master Bhagwan's classic Bhagambhag.
If you love romance but found Kaagaz Ke Phool too dark & depressing, what about Parinda? Back in the 80s didn't every red-blooded teenaged guy secretly wish he was Kishan, so he could save Paro's life by marrying her himself? College girls rebelled against Disco and John Travolta's platform shoes en masse and started wearing nose rings after watching Rati Agnihotri's role as the elusive Sapna in Ek Duuje Ke Liye.
So what if the actors are speaking Hindi or Tamil? They don't need dialogue, they've got faces. The movie critics, those limp-wristed snobs who think filmmaking is an art, can keep their so-called classics like Citizen Kane, Limelight, and Metropolis. When I sit down in a dark theater with my popcorn bucket I'm not there to start thinking or to be challenged ... I want six bucks' worth of Thrills & Entertainment.
Speaking of entertainment, frankly I get depressed every time I start imagining how Lara Croft: Tomb Raider would've ROCKED if Aishwarya Rai had been cast instead of Angelina Jolie. Aishwarya really knows how to wear sindoor and I wish she'd do her next film with Rob Schneider ... but I don't see any reason to start making Deuce Bigalow sequels because as far as I'm concerned they can keep making the same movie over and over again because it was so funny the first time.
The only other thing I wish is that movies were shorter, and didn't last so long.
All right, Mr. Narayanan, I'm ready for my close-up.
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