Know Your Destination

Remembered this morning that Thanksgiving's just around the corner. And with even more rain, fog and gloomy weather on the horizon I realized I was ready for some real winter ... with snow, mountains and yes ... even skiing.

I picked up the phone and called Skimpy Travel looking for a great deal on a vacation getaway. Skimpy himself answered the phone.

"Thanksgiving ski vacation? Sounds great!" Skimpy squealed excitedly. "Already have a destination in mind?"

"You bet," I said. "Death Valley."

"Death Valley? California?" Skimpy cleared his throat. "Uh, I'm pretty sure there's no skiing in Death Valley. That's the hottest place in the US."

"I always heard that as a kid ... but I don't think it'll be that bad."

Skimpy sounded like he wasn't sure whether I was kidding. "You don't think Death Valley's hot? Even during the winter the average temperature is over ..."

I cut Skimpy off. "But I don't believe it, that's the whole point. Back in college I found out all that stuff about Death Valley is a fairy tale somebody made up a long time ago to scare people. And if I think there's skiing in Death Valley, then what's it to you?"

"Well you're right, sir. It is your decision. What travel dates did you have in mind?"

"I want to leave on November 23 and return the day after Christmas."

I heard Skimpy groan. "It's gonna be tough finding a flight on Thanksgiving Day."

"What are you talking about? Thanksgiving's on November 20."

Skimpy typed something into his keyboard. "I don't think so. I'm looking at my calendar, and it says ..."

"Don't bother me with somebody else's little rules," I interrupted, getting angry. "I never met the people who print calendars and it's a free country, buster. I've got a right to celebrate Thanksgiving any day I want ... or not at all if I choose not to."

"Anything you say, sir. Now you want to fly back on December 26 ... "

But by then I'd already lost patience and hung up on Skimpy ... because there's no point arguing with zealots who think Christmas falls on December 25th every year. Each person is free to find their own Christmas and decide what Christmas works best for themselves.

And don't anybody try to tell me it's hot in Death Valley, either. That's an old superstition.

Besides, I'm pretty sure all flights lead to Death Valley ... and finding my own route is the best way to get there.