A Spider's Tale ... and a near-death encounter

I swung by the office yesterday afternoon to check on dj ... and ran into "bodyguard" J's wife Sz, and two of their small children in their car on the parking lot.

Suddenly as we were talking, one of the boys in the backseat began screaming and pointing in my direction (I'm used to evoking this kind of reaction, from small toddlers in particular).

But Sz said, "He's pointing at the spider. Would you mind getting it for me, please?"

Sure enough, there was a spider lowering itself from the top of the window by a single thread of silk.

I'm not particularly affected by spiders so I reached inside the rear window, caught the spider and held it cupped in my hand. Sz and I finished talking a few seconds later and as I walked away I noticed there was bodyguard J and P talking with Sd at the side staircase.

Wanting to get rid of my new friend right away, I glanced down and noticed the spider had escaped from my hand ... and discovered him vaulting over my watchband. Then he disappeared up my shirt sleeve.

Look, I take P very seriously when he describes what happens to folks who, trying to be "funny," take their eight-legged friends within close physical proximity of him. It ain't pleasant. And there I was walking straight toward him with the missing spider I'd plucked from Sz's car scrambling around loose somewhere inside my shirt.

Sd waved and said "Hello." Immediately nightmarish visions of being motioned over for a quick "howdy" and then watching the spider launch from my collar and leap toward P's forehead flashed behind my eyes ... making me wonder how truly bad it'd be if P decided I'd intentionally brought a spider along as a joke.

But I guess he never even saw me, because I slipped past without a word and in just a few more steps I was inside the building ... and out of harm's way.

I'm glad things turned out like they did: explaining to the paramedics why my legs were folded behind my shoulders and my arms tied in figure-8's, just for having a stupid spider inside my shirt, would've been more humiliating than I could handle.