Thursday, October 18, 2007

Fear, not Choice

Back in college, Don and I had a friend named Tim. Tim was from Illinois, was raised Catholic, and played on the offensive line. You may have already guessed, because he played college football, that Tim was quite strong.

One time I saw Tim pick up a 150-pound barbell (not a dumbbell or curling bar) and do a standing military press ... with one hand ... so your guess woulda been correct.

Tim had even stronger morals and values than that: another friend's girlfriend once made a "suggestive overture" to Tim. He responded by first addressing her appropriately (rather than by name), then let her know she had a CHOICE to make: either she told her boyfriend what she'd done, or he would.

She had a big choice to make ... and neither outcome looked pretty or desirable.

The reason Tim didn't take the girl up on her offer wasn't because Tim was afraid of her boyfriend (or of anybody else). Tim also faced a choice , but his decision not to have sex with the girl was based on strength ... not on opportunity or convenience.

Also worth mentioning that Tim didn't have sex with his friend's girlfriend and then lie about what he'd done, or sneak around behind his friend's back and then claim that he hadn't. Tim didn't have a quickie on the floor beside the couch and then apologize "I'm sorry, but I was drunk" to her boyfriend. Or shrug "It was just that one time."

Tim could do one-handed presses with 150 pounds, for pete's sake. Tim wasn't easily impressed ... not by what either men could do or by women thought about him ... which meant he wasn't afraid to tell the truth, always, and then act according to strength.

Tim was too strong to be weak.

And lying, like making excuses, is a playground for weaklings.

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