I think what it means is, "Paid employee, I'm mad nobody's listening to my opinions ... and I'm afraid any new direction means I won't be a church big shot any more."
Could be, hmmm.
How can it be that you, my king, would die for me? -Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. - Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.
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