Minivan Drivers From Hell

Remember the old saw about "Be careful what you pray for, 'cause you just might get it?"

I'm learning to be very careful ... because the past few weeks I've been praying for Patience.

No kidding, prayer works.

Now a whole week can slip by with me still stuck in traffic at red lights, or trapped behind two drivers doing 20 miles an hour side-by-side on Clemson Boulevard. But I just turn up the volume and start wishing "Holy Holy Holy"could somehow play on the radio.

Or I can be waiting in the Express Lane for what seems long enough to let the Post Office know to start forwarding my mail while the customer ahead of me loses count of the pennies she's using to make a $400 purchase, and starts over ... but it won't faze me one bit.

Or I can be waiting in a restaurant while the ice caps melt and North America develops a food crisis waiting for my order to arrive, and never saying a word to the server about "What happened to my food?" Really.

But come Sunday ... whether it's one of the two morning services or the stompin' 6, when the time comes to head up Highway 81 it doesn't make any difference ... I've come to recognize there's hand-to-hand spiritual combat on the horizon.

Happens every time, as every minivan driver, every octogenarian on a moped and every person who's ever failed their driver's test decides it's time to get on the road, pull out in front and start blocking my way.

Last Sunday evening at a red light I was about 2 seconds away from climbing out, walking up to the driver ahead of me and asking if he'd mind if I checked his pulse. Drivers like him may not know it, but they are part of the army opposing me in spiritual warfare.

Seriously.

If I'd said the enemy had been hurling Lust! Greed! or Temptation! in my direction to distract me, even strictest legalists would understand exactly what I meant. But the idea that minivan drivers might somehow fall into the same category as an awfully-on-purpose painted-on skirt probably sounds like a stretch.

But I don't think so.

Here's the reason: if I pull up at church and have to immediately give myself a Timeout to calm down before getting out of my vehicle and walking into God's House, or if I jab my finger in the face of the poor guy on the Parking Team to let him know he's Number 1 for not pointing me to the parking space I want, that means I've lost focus and let myself become distracted just when I need to be most prepared to listen ... and the enemy has won that round.

That awareness applies across the board: any time I allow normal, day to day irritations to come between me and where I want to be, even though snapping at a server (or seeking revenge by not leaving a generous tip) might sound more like a quick skirmish than a nuclear spiritual attack, it's still one more opportunity for the enemy to snicker "Gotcha!" ... and another invitation for a bigger stumbling block to get tossed in my path next time.

If I let trivial annoyances, gossip, disappointments or anger distract me, my weakness just might be an invitation for the enemy to "check back soon" with something much bigger: if I've proved even insigificant distractions cause me to stumble then how on earth will I have the strength and experience to climb over boulders?

Maybe the enemy has the best chance of winning when we don't even realize it's him we've been fighting.