Christ woulda liked what I like

"My style of worship.
My style of music.
My style of dress.
My style of haircut.
My style of Biblical translation.
My style of politics.
My style of religion.

I believe in Christ because he was just like me."

Cloverfield

Loved it.

what's the problem?

-What's up?
I got this big problem in my life ... and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

-Have you talked to talked to a Godly person about it?
No, it's none of their business.

-Have you prayerfully consulted Scripture?
No, I don't have time.

-Have you asked Christ to take total control of your life?
No, come on. I don't believe all that "Christ is Alive" stuff.


That's the problem.

Pilotage

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

3. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

4. The propeller is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

5. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

6. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

7. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

8. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

9. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

10. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal.

Wanna Cannoli?

I gotta try it: Cannoligram of New York.

Monkey Business

-from Tony Zappone at Wikipedia

"Early in 1964, Zappone was monitoring local police frequencies and overheard a Florida Highway Patrolman requesting a sergeant after he pulled over a chimpanzee driving a compact convertible for speeding on Interstate 4 just east of Tampa.

He rushed to grab a ride with another newsman and arrived in time to photograph the lawman issuing the chimp a citation for speeding and having no driver's license. Subsequently, charges against "Cappy" the chimp were dropped after a Hillsborough County judge ruled no infraction had occurred because at that time there was no requirement in Florida law that chimpanzees have licenses to drive.

Zappone was later commissioned by NBC Productions, Inc. to shoot film footage of Cappy driving around the Tampa area for later use on that network's The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.

During the shoot, he was injured when the animal bit unrelentingly into his right hand during a stop at a downtown Tampa intersection and refused to let go until the light turned green 30 seconds later."

The funniest thing I heard all week

Fran was driving, we'd been trapped in the parking lot of some shopping center on Woodruff Road doing helpless circles for about 15 minutes trying to find an exit.

We were talking about the differences between flying and driving and I said, "Ya know with an auto-pilot, the only thing you really have to worry about is the landing."

Fran kinda shrugged and said, "Joe Hall I'm a sky diver ... so landings don't scare me."

Singing Bulldogs, Crying Poodles

Walking across the Marina City parking lot tonight I spied a a big black pit bull sitting at the tailgate of the pickup truck parked beside me. As I strolled by my eyes locked in on his and I realized he'd seen me long before I'd spotted him.

Nothing happened, nothing at all.

That dog was a pure-T all-out 4-legged BAD MAN. But he seemed 100% bored, as if he was used to biting through engine blocks and outdrives in his spare time ... and yours truly didn't amount to much of a distraction.

The next SUV I passed had a blond cocker-poodle wearing a designer sweater lurking inside on the back seat: even though the windows were rolled up tight Mr. Poo lurched for me, enthusiastically launching at the window and resonating with rabid barks accompanied by a bright flashing of his pearly doggy-orthodontist maintained snappers.

The Poo was having a mood swing, and angrily let me know I didn't belong near his Blazer ... and announced that I'd probably wrinkled his new sweater just by walking past.

Somehow I think there was more than a thin glass window's worth of difference between them.

HAVE YOU SEEN TODAY'S NEWS?!!!!

-from the "Headlines We'll Never See" Department:

God Caught Off-Guard:
Creator urges calm pending full investigation

a short list for Saturday

From where I live there's simply no easy way to get anywhere from here.

Like, it's a 70-mile round trip to get a haircut and a15-mile round trip to check my mail. So I don't do either one very often.

Thus, on the drive to the post office this morning I started counting how many churches I passed along the way ... but forgot about that when I tried memorizing the portable church signs instead.

Here's 4 I remember:

1. It Takes Dirt to Make A Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill
2. Some People Are Anxious to Serve God - As Advisers
3. Jesus Love You and So Do We*
4. Try Less Self Control and More God Control

* Earlier in the week this same sign read "God Loves Your $ And So Do We." I figure that one had to be a late-night practical joker's mischief, right?

the king's clothes

There Will Be Blood.

Overlaying incongruent, sloppily directed scenes with atonal music = an absurdly poor excuse for film-making.

There Will Be Boredom

Just got back from seeing "There Will Be Blood" in Gville with Fran.

TWBB has received more stars at IMDB.com than either The Godfather, Citizen Kane, or The Godfather Part II so I was very anxious to see it.* Ok so I missed something.

Like, why they bothered.

Call me dense; now let's eat.


* check out all these awards.

incommunicado

I'm in the lobby of a hotel in downtown Gville while Fran's at a job interview in the same facility, but my phone is back on the boat in the pocket of the jacket I forgot to bring.

Times like this make me wish I could Twitter. But then you need a phone for that too, right?

All SHook UP

Chris W. said I should see Cloverfield; after reading this I'm more anxious than ever.

Remind me to keep repeating, "It's just a movie, it's just a movie." And to bring some Dramamine along just in case.

I hate movie lists

Top 10 Most Influential Films of All Time (decided by me)

Top-Ranked Films of the Past 10 Years (determined by New York film critics)

Best Films Ever (voted by LA movie reviews)

Highest Grossing Films of All Time (in US dollars)

Best Foreign Film Dubbed in English

Highest Grossing Films of All Time (adjusted for inflation)

Top 20 Unfinished Films

Top 10 Films with the Longest Waiting Lines

Top 5 Films Lost to History

Top 20 Films You've Never Seen

Top 10 Films Never Released


eeeh, the artificial lists and rankings go on and on.

Attention Film & Video Bosses, Experts, Gurus and Pretenders

How many of the top 10 (of the Top 250) Films of all time (as selected by IMDB.com users) have you seen?

Top 250 movies as voted by our users

For this top 250, only votes from regular voters are considered.

Rank	Rating	Title	Votes
1.	9.1	The Godfather (1972)	257,044
2.	9.1	The Shawshank Redemption (1994)	303,921
3.	9.0	The Godfather: Part II (1974)	147,230
4.	8.9	Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)	83,040
5.	8.8	Pulp Fiction (1994)	261,221
6.	8.8	Schindler's List (1993)	175,720
7.	8.8	One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)	130,991
8.	8.8	Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)	185,944
9.	8.8	Casablanca (1942)	115,600
10.	8.8	Shichinin no samurai (1954)	64,516

I'm a movie moron, and thoroughly disagree with the IMDB list.

In a mob, maybe

"The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people."
-President Woodrow Wilson

You Don't Have to be Broke!

Joe Sangl's book is finally here!

-from Joe's web site:

"In this book, I share how my family stopped being broke and won with money. While telling my family's story, I teach the actual tools that we used and still use to this day!

More than anything else, this is a book of HOPE. I know that you CAN do this! I know that you CAN win with money! I know that you do not have to be a straight-A student to win with money (that's really good news for me!).

You CAN break free of financial bondage and win with money. This book was written to show you HOW to do so in a PRACTICAL way!

If you are looking for theory or philosophy, this is the wrong book. If you are looking for immediate help to take your finances to the next level, this is the right book!"

Joe's book can be purchased here.

Seen tonight's forecast?

38° F | 12° F
3° C | -11° C

No no no, not Relativism again

"Every religion says their way is the only way, but there are no universal, absolute truths because everything's relative."

-How can you say that?

"Because it's true."

-You're saying it's true that there are no universal, absolute truths because everything's relative?"

"Exactly. That's how I know all religions are the same."

-And you're sure what you're saying is true?

-Absolutely.

Wow.

Sorry, I didn't recognize you in here without a tie

The other afternoon I was sitting in Fran's car while she used my lap top to do some work-related stuff on the web.

Suddenly I remembered how much water I'd had at lunch ... and there I was on the marina restaurant's parking lot. U-r-g-e-n-c-y rhymes with EMERGENCY and well, you get the idea.

The restaurant didn't open for another 90 minutes but with no other option I ducked inside.

I know (by a first name anyway) 99% of the nice folks who work there, but the point of re-telling this mundane story is that I had trouble recognizing most of them: without uniforms, still dressed in their "casual clothes," they looked so different from the folks I knew.

Entirely different; a simple necktie and button-down shirt can make someone seem familiar when they're totally not.

Man I can be so shallow sometimes, even when I think I'm paying attention.

My daughter's first date ...

... would never happen. Period. Here's why:

Picture some 16-year old guy showing up at night to pick up your daughter for a date.

See, he's gonna take her out ... away from your house ... and drive her around in a car. You trust him to behave and have her home by 11 PM.

Guess that's OK because that's part of "Dating."

Now imagine the same 16-year old guy shows up at your house but instead of leaving with your daughter, you entrust him with your bank cards, the deed to your house, the title to your car and oh, yeah ... your entire life's savings, in cash ... asking only that he bring everything back safely by 11 PM,

Nobody'd do that.

Nobody in their right mind would trust a 16-year old to assume responsibility for their most important material assets, not even for an hour. Yet a daughter is infinitely more valuable than a house or any amount of cash.

Without even mentioning that a daughter is irreplaceable.

Call me old fashioned, call me a dinosaur. Just promise you'll call me if you're gonna be home after 11.

time cRunCh

Wow there's never enough time to fit in all the things that are unimportant and ultimately don't mattermuchtoanyoneelse is there

super SUPER bowl rivals

Rival tribes clash with machetes

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -- Clashes between rival tribes armed with machetes and bows and arrows on Friday marked the third successive day of opposition protests over Kenya's disputed presidential election.

Soldiers and protesters clash in Mombasa.

1 of 3

With more than 20 people killed since Wednesday, the opposition announced a new strategy of economic boycotts and strikes to ratchet up pressure.

The U.S. ambassador, citing "many factors and underlying grievances," compared Kenya's violence to the 1968 race riots in the United States.

At a town hall meeting for Americans in Nairobi, Ambassador Michael Ranneberger said there was "a lot of cheating on both sides" in the December 27 elections that pitted President Mwai Kibaki against opposition leader Raila Odinga.

Kibaki insists he won the election, but international and local observers say the vote count was rigged. Kibaki's power has become more entrenched and he appears unlikely to accede to demands he step down.

The opposition's best hope may rest in wrangling a power-sharing agreement that might make Odinga prime minister or vice president.

Who's gonna preach my Super Bowl funeral?

I keep hearing this: "I couldn't go to a Super Bowl-sized church because I have no way of knowing who'd preach at my funeral."

OK.

#1. When the time comes, you won't know either

#2. You don't know who's gonna be playing in next year's Super Bowl ... or if there'll even be a Super Bowl

#3. Heaven nain't neer nough ferye?

Part 2

I Want to go to a church where the preacher knows my name and acknowledges my contributions

Yup yup, I'm quite sure ... but if a persecution started, would ya want similar recognition and attention from the folks anxious to start the crucifixion line?

What church should I be at?

Picking a church can be hard; let's run down the list:

This one's too big, this one is boring, I like dressing up, I don't like dressing up, that one's a clique, that one's too strict, they don't have a choir, I had a problem with that preacher when I was growing up, they play songs that don't come from the Bible, I don't get fed, I get asked to do too much, that church is a cult, they don't have Sunday School, I don't like the music, they don't preach from the Bible, they take the Bible too literally, they let men wear hats in church, they'll expect me to tithe, they don't oppose Halloween, all the members are hypocrites, they don't have Bingo, they didn't support mandatory pet neutering, nobody cares what I say, everybody there acts like they're big shots, the music is too loud, they have Bingo, I saw one of their members stopped at a red light outside an adult book store after dark, everybody there gossips, it all depends on how much you give, the pastor doesn't know my name, the pastor's always preaching right at ME, the air-conditioner blows on my face and I heard their pastor preaches naked. So where am I supposed to go?

Hmmm, I dunno ... what'd the Holy Spirit say last time you asked?

Treasure Hunting

8:32 AM
As a kid growing up on Florida's Gulf coast I remember being fascinated with pirates ... the buccaneers who'd roamed the Caribbean hundred of years before, preying on treasure-laden galleons sailing from Mexico back to Spain.

The house where we lived was built on an island; to a seven-year-old it seemed likely that Jose Gaspar himself could have left a treasure chest buried no further away than the backyard.

Stop being an adult for a minute and think about it: a treasure beyond description might lie just a few feet away, but where? Somewhere in the back yard? Under the patio? But what if it lay buried under the garage- how would you get to it then?

I KNEW buried treasure was close but how would I know where to start looking, unless I had a map?

-I asked my folks; no map came with the house when they bought it.
-I couldn't find any library books that mentioned a pirate treasure being buried anywhere near my house.
-I consulted school friends to brainstorm their ideas (after swearing them to secrecy, naturally) about where to look.

During times when "Knowing Where to Look" seemed hopeless I regained my enthusiasm by imagining all the things I'd buy once the treasure was mine.

I didn't wanna give up the idea that there were riches waiting nearby, a treasure so close I might literally be sleeping on top of it. But I always ended up stumped, perplexed about what to do next.

Because no matter how much I believed or how overwhelming my enthusiasm became, I simply had no idea where to start digging.


Gee, my childish visions of treasure hunting start sounding a lot like mainstream religion.

The Jolly Roger & The Cross
A mysterious man arrived a long time ago with a treasure. He left the treasure behind and then went away again, abandoning his followers and leaving precious few clues beyond a dusty, ancient map, about "the right way" to find his treasure.

Too often we see believers acting and living their lives just that way: as if Christ left us marooned on a desert island to suffer and muddle through on our own, despite having promised his treasure lies waiting ... if only He'd left us more clues to get us on track so we could finally find it and be sure.

Dead Men Tell No Tales: what we need is a Southern Buccaneer Clue Convention
Convinced that Christ returned to Heaven (awaiting the Rapture as a sour-faced recluse) and took all the clues with Him, many groups of believers created their own clues ... complete with "treasure maps" describing and pointing to the booty ... yet none of the man-made maps seem to agree on how to find the treasure, much less on a common compass heading ... many insisting instead that they alone possess the clues belonging to "the one true map."

Others go so far as to argue that the treasure is exclusively theirs (which explains, I guess, why they intend to keep it guarded so jealously), so looking outside the auspices of their convention is useless.

Yet, to outsiders, do these tight-fisted believers reveal any hint of living treasure-filled lives? Or do they seem more concerned with greedily keeping the treasure hoarded and hidden from view ... instead of sharing their unearned riches?

Yo ho ho and a stained glass window ... Walking the Man-made Plank
There's at least one INFINITE difference between hunting for pirates' treasure and seeking Heavenly treasure: it's too late for treasure hunters to call upon Jose Gaspar, or Blackbeard or Captain Kidd for guidance finding the treasure, because none of them have done much communicating in the past four hundred years.

The map to Heavenly treasure, on the other hand, comes with a 24x7 Help Line ... and unlimited lifetime support.

"Hai-Koi" Poemetry

-humor

My excellent and technological friend Ken's been after me to take up Twittering. So far I've resisted, arguing I'm too long-winded; the other night he suggested Haiku might be the answer.


"Flirting with Goldfish"

I caught the gaze of
A koi seduced by shadows
Reflections, not me.

A Comprehensive Plan for Local Church Success

"We had a meeting, took proposals, created a committee, held a dozen votes, fired a Minister of Music, threatened the preacher, had four members withdraw their tithes and 2 deacons storm out in disgust, but we finally re-painted the church restrooms. Without going over budget."

It's Friday

I lifted this post & Love It because it's so completely without rust:

“'Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.'

Philippians 1:6 is true and He is so much larger than we could ever imagine."

a tale of two believers

One believer embraces religion as proof of his superiority. Because his faith is based on fear and uncertainty, he testifies to his own inerrant righteousness, and lives his faith to justify and glorify himself. He wants to praise God by doing Him favors.

Another believer embraces Christ as proof of God's word. Because his faith is based on love and the resurrection, he testifies to Christ's righteousness, and lives his faith to honor and glorify God. He wants to praise God by being His slave.

Financial Freedom Experience!

Joe Sangl's entire five-session Financial Freedom class will be taught in just one weekend! The class times are:

Friday, January 25^th, 6:30PM – 9:00PM

Saturday, January 26^th, 9:30AM – 1:00PM

Complete the entire Financial Freedom Experience in just one weekend! This five-session class will teach you how to get your finances in order, use your tax refund in the best way possible, pay cash for Christmas 2008 and avoid those nasty credit card bills.

• Cost of the class is $20/individual or $30/family

More info here.

Great Reading Weather

134 Bible Contradictions Explained

I haven't read 'em all yet, but this looks like the kinda weather made for reading.

ps. Earlier this week I got a copy of The Apologetics Study Bible and have had a hard time putting it down.

2fer Wednesday

"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'Thy will be done.'"
C.S. Lewis

"This, then, is the judgement: the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. For everyone who practices wicked hates the light and avoids it, so that his deeds may not be exposed.

But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God."
-John 3:19-21

sounds of silence

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Never mind ... you're not a dog

Your calling might tell you different ... especially if "different" means looking your own way.
But then, somebody else got that calling, rrrrright?

soLiD.



The college football championship's been decided, the Golden Globes got canceled ... and the election's not until November. So try watching these instead:


Hotel Rwanda - 2004
Sometimes in April - 2005
Beyond the Gates [Shooting Dogs} - 2005
The Devil Came on Horseback - 2007

from Kenya

Kenya's turmoil triggers underlying problems

Posted: 8 January, 2008

Kenya (MNN) ? Audio Scripture Ministries partners in Kenya reported that the greatest danger is being out and about.

There are roving vans on the roads around the airport in Nairobi, attacking at random. "Many of our partner ministry teams left Nairobi and went to their villages. The ones who were in town basically were forced to hole up in their homes; that is, they are trying to get off the roads and just out of sight until things calm down," said ASM's Tom Dudenhofer.

As their partner ministries look to the future, the current situation may open doors for people to hear the Gospel.

"People are going to be looking for some answers. The country of Kenya is known as having a long-time influence of Christianity but that the Christianity in the country is very shallow," said Dudenhofer. He said that Kenya is one of the worst places for corruption in Africa. "There's a lot of shallow, moral dissatisfaction with the way things have been going, and people really, really need to get a grip on what it means to be a Christian. They need to get into God's Word, which is one of the real causes for so much of the shallow Christianity."

Belief, Conviction and boating on the Delaware

I believe George Washington crossed the Delaware River on Christmas night 1776, to attack the Hessian troops in Trenton. I believe that's a literal fact.

But I don't measure myself or live according to Washington's life. Even though I just professed my belief.

I mean, nobody would ever look at me and think, "Now there's a guy who totally lives according to his conviction that Washington crossed the Delaware." Even though I absolutely, honestly and completely believe that it happened. I just choose not to have my life affected by what I believe. I mean, not by all of my beliefs.

Hmmmm .... now that it's Monday and I start thinking about it, what I believe about Washington crossing the Delaware is a private matter ... and nobody else's business.

The 20 Richest Women in Entertainment

From Forbes -

1. Oprah Winfrey
2. J.K. Rowling
3. Martha Stewart
4. Madonna
5. Celine Dion
6. Mariah Carey
7. Janet Jackson
8. Julia Roberts
9. Jennifer Lopez
10. Jennifer Aniston
11. The Olsen Twins
12. Britney Spears
13. Judge Judy
14. Sandra Bullock
15. Cameron Diaz
16. Gisele Bundchen
17. Ellen DeGeneres
18. Nicole Kidman
19. Christina Aguilera
20. Renee Zellweger

Kenya Church Massacre

From Reuters.

From The International Herald Tribune.


From the BBC.

Kenya's crisis spreads gloom over Africa

Thu 3 Jan 2008, 12:31 GMT

By Barry Moody

NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenya's sudden spiral into chaos after years as a regional anchor has badly set back Africa's democratic progress and will strike a heavy blow against the economies of a wide swathe of neighbouring nations.

In a few turbulent days since a tarnished election on Dec. 27, Kenya has gone from democratic hope to disaster, from a country seen as an island of stability in a dangerous region to a new trouble spot torn by ethnic bloodletting.

The election, which Kenya's opposition says was rigged to re-elect President Mwai Kibaki, ended a year in which democratic hopes in Africa had already been dented by a totally discredited poll in Nigeria and turmoil in the politics of South Africa, the continent's economic locomotive.

"This is the greatest setback to Africa's reputation since the 60s. Kenya has an iconic status, seen as synonymous with Africa," said Kenya expert Michael Holman.

But analysts do not believe Kenya's crisis will contaminate other nations politically.

"The politics of every country in Africa are very, very separate. African politics are all local and all personal ... I don't think it has any wider implications at all," said Richard Dowden, director of the Royal African Society.

Control Risks senior Africa analyst Chris Melville agreed: "While Kenya is at the heart of an unstable region, we do not consider that the current situation will significantly contribute to regional instability in the short-term."

Chinese New Year?

Nee hao ma?

Oh yeah before I forget, I almost forgot.

The other night Fran & I did Chinese; this is how I like my spring rolls:

Where you can just barely see 'um, under the hot mustard.

PPS- This is what Fran got from Shawn for Christmas, oh wow:

Most Popular of 2007

Here's The Blue Book's Top Posts of '07:

5. The Source of All Leaks
4. Here's MY Plan
3. Farewell, Old Friends
2. From the "Snooze n' Lose" Department
1. Have A Very Mastodon Christmas