Men Don't Cry

Seems like 80% of the people I meet in the world these days have broken boats ... and want them fixed by 5 PM. The other 20% either work in grocery stores or restaurants.

One day last week Mike and I finished lunch at our usual place and stepped up to the counter to pay. Our server took a look at me and said, "Smile. God loves you!"

Mike got a big kick from hearing that so I asked her, "Where do you go to church?"

Guess where she said.

I almost jumped out of my socks. "For pete's sake, don't you know that's a cult? Don't you know you can't be a member over there unless they check your tax returns? Don't you know they've got a statue of their pastor in the atrium? And isn't he the guy that preaches with no shirt on? That's what I've heard."

She shook her head, "I've never seen anything like that" ... and told us how her life had been changed. Then Mike jerked his head at me, "That's where he goes."

See, they're everywhere. In places you'd least expect.

This restaurant is closer to Georgia than it is to the church auditorium. Five dozen churches must dot the highways in between. I always want to hear how, but more interested in Why, people end up finding their way there.
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Men and women are different, they really are.

A woman can sit within arm's length and reveal every sordid, embarrassing detail of her personal life ... stuff that would make a cow flop wince ... from family issues to sexual indiscretions and abortions ... and stare you in the eye the whole time without batting an eye.

Must be because being emotionally driven, Women want to know What are you thinking? or Does that change what you think of me?

Women are open and out there when it comes to expressing their emotions ... and communicating with women is often no harder than just shutting up and listening your heart out.
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But men? Men? No further back than Sunday afternoon our dear Francis shrugged during lunch and sighed, "There's no understanding men at all. Except you, Joe Hall." (I'm less complicated and easier to understand than cat litter, she means.)

What Fran said about men is true, so true. Men are like emotional oysters ... and what aggravates women so much is that they'd like nothing better than prying the shell open and finding there's a pearl hidden inside.
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A woman will readily confess to despair, acknowledge her fears and explain her vulnerabilities in hopes of sharing with a confidant who's heard of a solution. But a man will tighten the ropes around his heart until he's paralyzed with grief rather than admit a single flaw or weakness. Suggesting to another man, even when he asks for one, There is an Answer is too often misunderstood as So you think you're smarter than me?
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Maybe that's one reason it's harder inviting men to church than women: Until they know Christ men are usually pretty darn pleased with the messes they've made of their lives ... and a few are even proud to admit they don't mind the smell.
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Men don't cry ... unless they think it's too late.

The time a man seems most eager and ready to hear about Christ seems to be when he's run so far for so long he's slammed into a wall he didn't see coming. Whether it's marital infidelity, health concerns, a stormy relationship with his kids, a drinking problem, disaster at work or financial upheaval, it takes a big surprise slap in the face to finally get a man's spiritual attention.

Even then men aren't usually eager to hear There is an answer. A man who's choking beneath buried emotions is bitterly convinced, "No, you don't know all the things I've done and it's too late for me. God could never forgive me ... after all the pain I've caused people who didn't deserve it, I couldn't expect him to either."

Then you can almost hear the clam slamming itself shut with self pity ... and the silence afterwards is as painful as it is deafening. And you never end up reading about those experiences here at The Blue Book.
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One of the worst, most ill-considered decisions church leaders made in time past was portraying Christ as something he never was ... a sad-faced, bath-robed wimp with perfect hair and a perpetual tear on his cheek. Is there a man alive today who wants to model himself like that?

Wimps don't allow themselves to be flogged or crucified, conquer sin with forgiveness and rise from the dead to kick Satan's gut. Only a man who's decisive and infinitely strong could step up and hit a home run with that pitch. Jesus Christ was a man.

He wasn't called The Pansy of Peace or The Woosie from Galilee.

God didn't send a wimp to die for our sins. He sent his son, a a man strong enough to die in our place ... a man who called us friends.

And we should stop trying to remake Christ into a limp wristed lady-man ... or anything other than who he told us he is.