You know you're headed for trouble when ...

Not too many details are mentioned, but recently-birthdayed ORP had a post on her blog yesterday that's been rattling around in my brain like a marble at the bottom of a coffee can.

If I may paraphrase, When is it appropriate to be friends with someone who's married ... of the opposite sex?

I don't mean a casual acquaintance or someone you recognize from work ... I mean "a good, good" or "close personal" friend.

I still struggle with being a knee-jerk legalist ... it's just hard to let go of what's comfortable & familiar ... because hollering about rules for other folks (adults, I mean) to live by can quickly lead to a deep, slippery slope.

So no rules ... merely a few observations and suggestions as a self-reminder.

1. If your "best" or "closest" friend is a MPOS (Married Person of the Opposite Sex) then both of you are leaving the door open for your "friendship" to conveniently blossom into something else. Something that's sinful and wrong. Afterwards, saying "It just happened" or "We suddenly realized we shared the same feelings" is a pretty durn lame excuse.

2. A yellow light should fill your eyeballs if you find yourself tempted to ask a MPOS (or accept a MPOS's invitation) to have lunch alone (dinner is completely out of the question). Or join you at any sort of function or activity away from their (or your) spouse. Even riding together in the same car, just the two of you, is a bad, bad idea.

3. A red light should should go off any time you find yourself alone with a MPOS. Even if you're at work during business hours, for Pete's sake leave the bloomin' office door open.

3a. An alarm should start ringing inside your head if you disregard [3], and find yourself alone with a MPOS after 10 PM.

3b. If background noise (like, your fluttering heartbeat) prevents you from hearing alarms because you're alone with a MPOS after 11 PM, find the nearest available light socket ... flip the switch on ... and firmly insert tongue. Repeat as necessary to return to reality and achieve desired results.

4. Sharing your personal (especially relationship) problems in confidence with a MPOS is selfish and disregards the inherent trust, devotion and emotional intimacy of their marriage. [see #1, above]

5. The nature of a pre-existing friendship with a MPOS changed forever soon as he/she got married ... and pursuing or developing a close friendship with a MPOS ex post facto should be reason enough to skip back to [1] ... and re-read a bit more closely.