I gotta do something HUGE for God!

I've heard people say, "I don't know care what it is, I just wanna do something HUGE for God!" On my way to do laundry, that got me to thinking ... :-)

There's this dude who wakes up one morning and suddenly decides he wants to do something awesome for God. Something so HUGE its impact will be unmistakable and immediately felt around the world. He thinks about it for a few minutes, and decides to be a televangelist.

But an hour later, after calling the major networks and satellite channels, he's discovered all the slots for religious programming are full. Not to be defeated by disappointment, Dude calls his pastor on the phone (at home) and excitedly exclaims, "I've been called to preach this Sunday."

There's no record of how the pastor responds ... but the church's minister of music doesn't answer when Dude dials his number a few minutes later. Still eager to do something huge right away, Dude drives over to the church office only to find the door locked with a sign in the window reading, "Closed for Seniors' Day."

Fearful that his opportunity to do something HUGE for God is slipping away, Dude glances around and sees trash from cars on the highway blowing across the church parking lot ... and suddenly has a brainstorm of a HUGE idea.

Within the hour he's standing at the corner of the church property with a sign in each hand (one endorses blue laws and the other protests the latest Hollywood blockbuster), yelling "Is God your co-pilot?" and "When you're dying, you're frying!" to drivers cruising past.

But after about an hour of standing around in the heat without much result, Dude's ready to call it a day and go home. So Dude starts walking across the parking lot just in time to see the church van, full of seniors back from picking apples, pulling in ahead of him.

He waves, trying to get away before they stop, but then just as he's about to open his car door the wind blows a scrap of newspaper against the van's windshield ... which causes the driver to lose control and plow into dude at full speed.

The next instant in Heaven Dude opens his eyes, looks up at the pearly gates and shakes his head. "Lord, I don't get it. Here I was trying to do something awesome, something really BIG and earth-shattering for you ... and now just look what happened. Is that what you wanted from me?"

God shakes his head and sighs. "No Dude, what I wanted was for you to pick up trash from the church parking lot."