Count me among the folks who're shocked at how expensive life really is.
With gasoline hovering around $3 bucks a gallon, ground beef at $2 per pound and milk at almost $4 dollars a gallon, it's not hard to see why many Americans have trouble making ends meet.
I did some Googling and realized I'm totally clueless when it comes to guessing what "Expensive" means at the high end:
The Most Expensive House in the World
Donald Trump's French Regency-style estate, which is undergoing the final stages of a massive renovation, includes 475 feet of waterfront, an 18-bedroom mansion, eight-car garage, conservatory, carriage house, guest house and pool house. The most startling aspect of the place, however, is the $125 million price tag, the highest asking price ever for a private residence in the United States, and perhaps the world.
The Most Expensive Automobile
The 1930 Type 41 Royale engine had massive displacement: 12.7 liters (over 700 cubic inches), roughly twice the size of the largest muscle cars from the 1960s. This is still the largest engine of any car ever sold privately.
Equally massive was the 15-foot wheelbase, which stands about five feet tall at the hood. A mere six Royale's were produced and two were never sold. Current asking price: $10.3 million dollars.
The Most Expensive Yacht
At $95.448 million, the Annaliesse is an astounding 280 feet and features a full-service spa, meeting room, dining room, salon, children's play area and a library/theater room with a 100" screen. The owner's stateroom has a king-size bed, a 42-inchTV and panoramic windows that can be covered with a remote control. There are 15 other staterooms (the yacht can accommodate 36 passengers), and many common areas with sofas and armchairs scattered amidst marble columns.
The Most Expensive (and Fastest) Motorcycle
The $150,000 MTT Turbine Superbike is the world's first turbine powered street legal motorcycle in its class, and been recognized by Guinness World Records as the "Most Powerful Motorcycle Ever to Enter Series Production" and the "Most Expensive Production Motorcycle".
Powered by a Rolls Royce Allison gas turbine engine, the SUPERBIKE has demonstrated over 300 hp and been clocked at 227 mph. The bike features carbon fiber fairings, a rear-mounted camera with LCD color display, forward-and rear-looking radar detector with laser scrambler, one touch "Smart Start" ignition, and more.
Most Expensive Golf Clubs
Honma Twin Marks MG-R18 5-Star Amazing Spec. A set of ten irons, three woods, a putter and a staff bag will set you back more than $36,000.
Here's a few other figures I found for comparison.
Worldwide, Malaria causes one million deaths annually. Malaria kills almost 3000 children every day; Tanzania alone will suffer almost 100,000 deaths this year. In the time it takes to read this paragraph, two more people will be dead.
The Tuberculosis epidemic in Third World countries continues 2.2 million deaths annually worldwide.
Leishmaniasis, a parasitic disease spread by the bite of infected sand flies, is more than 90% fatal. In India alone, as many as 200,000 die every year.
Sleeping Sickness, a fatal disease caused by a protozoa transmitted by tsetse flies, threatens 60 million people worldwide.
Two million children die annually from diarrheal diseases, many of them caused by parasites including Filariasis (round worms). It's estimated 25% of the world's population is infected with Ascariasis, an acute intestinal infestation caused by round worms. Once anchored to the intestinal wall, round worms can grow up to 12" in length.
Measles still kills more than 400,000 children annually, lives that could be spared with a simple immunization.
There are hardly any new medicines in the pipeline for diseases like tuberculosis, malaria, sleeping sickness and leishmaniasis. Instead, the drug giants are focusing almost exclusively on the afflictions of the affluent north, according to Médecins sans Frontières.
Their report points out that there are eight new drugs on the way for impotence and seven for obesity.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Too Hot to Handle
The bedroom air conditioner quit working last night, making sleep in the 90+ degree temperature almost impossible. So here's a few things I thought about in the meantime:
Favorite TV Shows
Now that LOST is on hiatus until season 3, my new favorite show is "Hogan Knows Best" on VH1. This reality series follows the Hogan family through their day to day lives in their 20,000 square foot home in Clearwater, Florida. Say whatever you want, any 52-year old guy with tie-dyed bandanas and a platinum-dyed goatee deserves to be taken seriously, brother.
My next favorite show is "The Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery Channel. Crab fishing in the Bering Sea is the most dangerous occupation on earth ... more deadly than coal mining, lumberjacking or motorcycle racing. Incredible action and real-life drama make this show practically addictive.
I also enjoy any televangelist offering prayer rugs, magic healing water, blessed key chains, self-annointing oil or apostolic hair extensions ... in exchange for supporting his ministry through your generous love offering. Bonus Points if there's a close-up of the guy and his wife sobbing during his sales pitch; two Gold Stars if his wife's eye liner starts running down her cheek.
I forget whether there's any other show I like, guess not.
Life's Biggest Disappointment:
After graduating from college I approached a wrestling promoter and told him if he'd just give me a chance in the ring, I had a schtick guaranteed to make me the worst villain in wrestling history. I'd dress in a cat costume so I could use my whiskers and tail as weapons and call myself "Mr Biggles - the Backyard Bone Breaker." Then he told me professional wrestling was FAKE.
I think he was terrified, and only threw me out of his office because my idea was years ahead of its time.
What Makes Women Attractive?
Young and ancient; innocent and corrupt; in every woman, a mystery. - John Fowles, The Magus (probably the only 900 page novel I've read in just 3 sittings; yes it is that good)
Would I Ever Bungi Jump Over Victoria Falls?
No ... and you can't make me.
Dumbest Urban Gangsta Idiom I Ever Did Hear:
Yesterday I saw P. Diddy on a TV commercial for ProActiv Solution. Diddy informed us it's essential for him to wear the right clothes, drive the right car and have unblemished skin to "Preserve his sexy." He said it with a straight face, too.
Being somewhat less hip than P. Diddy, I preserve my sexy by occasionally trimming my nose hair.
TODAY'S AWESOME TUESDAY PLAYLIST
Don't get mad, but in general songs written by women strike me as a bit too whiney, introspective and self-pitying. These are two of the powerful exceptions; more words would be wasteful. [... in every woman, a mystery. Indeed.]
Throwing Fire At the Sun - Heather Nova ("Oyster" CD)
Sugar - Heather Nova ("Live From the Milky Way" CD)
Hogan Knows Best
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/hogan_knows_best/series.jhtml
The Deadliest Catch
http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/deadliestcatch/deadliestcatch.html
Bungi Jumping at Victoria Falls
http://www.whereisevan.com/africa99-2.html
ProActiv Solution Celebrity Testimonials
http://www.proactiv.com/celeb/spot.php?pactvid=339cc64b15e1479f3313002755c4161c
Friday, May 26, 2006
May 26, 1944 - Huburt Sammons
I never met my great uncle Huburt.
Huburt Sammons was my grandmother Hall's younger brother, a gunnery instructor in the Army Air Force. At 7:19 PM on May 26, 1944 Uncle Huburt and a crew of 9 other airmen aboard B-24 Liberator #42-51180 departed Goose Bay, Canada en route on a 9 hour 46 minute direct flight to Nutts Corner, North Ireland. 62 other aircraft left Canada that night on the same route.
Shortly after reaching a cruising altitude of 11,000 feet, flight B24 #1180 (Code Name Bloomer Tare) vanished over the Atlantic. The last radio message the crew received before being being passed off to Canadian air traffic control was, "You are now leaving the United States. God Bless You."
Huburt was 26 years old.
My great-grandmother Maude Sammons only received two telegrams about Huburt's disappearance: the first one simply said his flight was overdue in Ireland; a few days later a second telegram reported Huburt was presumed dead. When I was about 6 years old I remember seeing the framed black and white photograph of Uncle Huburt in his Air Force uniform and cap at my great-grandmother Sammons's house and asking my father, "Who's that man?"
But the Air Force never offered any details or explanations about the flight's disappearance.
After all, in 1944 America was engaged in a desperate war with the Nazis in Europe and the D-Day Invasion of France was just 11 days away. By the end of World War II America had suffered 407,316 war-related deaths and the disappearance of 10 airmen during a routine ferry flight across the Atlantic seemed insignificant. Beyond ordering aircraft departing along the same route that night to report any signs of wreckage or survivors, no formal search was ever undertaken.
For whatever reasons, the official Aircraft Accident Report was classified Confidential until just a few years ago. Earlier this year I assembled copies of reports including documents from Air Force Achives, the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, and from the airplane manufacturer's (Douglas-Tulsa) records. It's interesting to compare what the different sources recorded as fact.
Even though it's been 22,644 days, 13 hours and 25 minutes since Huburt disappeared, it's still interesting that the reports don't always agree on what happened ...
Weather conditions were perfect for an Atlantic crossing... absolutely clear all the way to Ireland. According to the Air Force Accident Report from May 29, 1944 "There was no contact with the plane after its departure from Goose Bay" at 7:35 PM. Yet Huburt's aircraft was one of 62 airplanes en route to Ireland that night - and no one recorded a distress call on the radio?
An Air Force Description of Accident report 18 days later on June 16 1944 indicates the plane contacted Cape Harrison Radio (Labrador) at 8:54 PM, not 7:35 PM as previously recorded ... which is exactly the same time a log entry from Royal Canadian Air Traffic Control indicates radar contact with the aircraft was lost over the Mealy Mountains ... 204 miles from Goose Bay.
The Individual Aircraft Record Card, obtained from the National Air and Space Museum, indicates the the aircraft was "condemned" with a code which, according to the Smithsonian, "we have not seen before, FFC. We can conjecture only, but it is possible this might have been short-hand for Friendly Fire Casualty." [my italics]
Friendly fire? On a routine ferry flight across the Atlantic? Why would the Air Force use an unfamiliar code to indicate why Huburt's airplane went missing?
My father, who was 16 years old at the time, remembers talking to Huburt just before he left for Ireland that summer in 1944. But no one's sure what happened to Huburt's black and white photograph after my great-grandmother passed away in 1974.
May 26, 1944 was 62 years ago ... had he survived Uncle Huburt would be 89 years old today. But I'd still like to know what happened that night over the Atlantic, if only because I don't know happened.
I recently spoke on the phone with the great-niece of 2nd Lt. Elvin L. Pentecost, who was the airplane's co-pilot that night. You can see his memorial here: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=11048202
The airplane's pilot, 2nd Lt. Virginius Stell, Jr., attended VMI until joining the Army Air Force. An anonymous classmate maintained a memorial page, including a photograph, until last month.
Navigator 2nd Lt. James R. Thompson's sister also maintained a web memorial until just a few weeks ago; I was never able to locate her address, and can only assume she's passed away.
Flight B24 1180 Crewmen
Virginius R. Stell, Jr. - pilot
Elvin L. Pentecost - co-pilot
James R. Thompson - navigator
Ernest D. Lampkin - bombadier
Edward J. Harlacher
Copeland A. Forrester
John Demko
Warren F. Carr
Huburt D. Sammons
George H. Brown
Their names are listed individually among the missing at the American Battle Monuments Commission:
http://www.abmc.gov/search/wwii.php
B-24 Liberator image:
http://www.aviation-history.com/consolidated/b24.html
Huburt Sammons was my grandmother Hall's younger brother, a gunnery instructor in the Army Air Force. At 7:19 PM on May 26, 1944 Uncle Huburt and a crew of 9 other airmen aboard B-24 Liberator #42-51180 departed Goose Bay, Canada en route on a 9 hour 46 minute direct flight to Nutts Corner, North Ireland. 62 other aircraft left Canada that night on the same route.
Shortly after reaching a cruising altitude of 11,000 feet, flight B24 #1180 (Code Name Bloomer Tare) vanished over the Atlantic. The last radio message the crew received before being being passed off to Canadian air traffic control was, "You are now leaving the United States. God Bless You."
Huburt was 26 years old.
My great-grandmother Maude Sammons only received two telegrams about Huburt's disappearance: the first one simply said his flight was overdue in Ireland; a few days later a second telegram reported Huburt was presumed dead. When I was about 6 years old I remember seeing the framed black and white photograph of Uncle Huburt in his Air Force uniform and cap at my great-grandmother Sammons's house and asking my father, "Who's that man?"
But the Air Force never offered any details or explanations about the flight's disappearance.
After all, in 1944 America was engaged in a desperate war with the Nazis in Europe and the D-Day Invasion of France was just 11 days away. By the end of World War II America had suffered 407,316 war-related deaths and the disappearance of 10 airmen during a routine ferry flight across the Atlantic seemed insignificant. Beyond ordering aircraft departing along the same route that night to report any signs of wreckage or survivors, no formal search was ever undertaken.
For whatever reasons, the official Aircraft Accident Report was classified Confidential until just a few years ago. Earlier this year I assembled copies of reports including documents from Air Force Achives, the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, and from the airplane manufacturer's (Douglas-Tulsa) records. It's interesting to compare what the different sources recorded as fact.
Even though it's been 22,644 days, 13 hours and 25 minutes since Huburt disappeared, it's still interesting that the reports don't always agree on what happened ...
Weather conditions were perfect for an Atlantic crossing... absolutely clear all the way to Ireland. According to the Air Force Accident Report from May 29, 1944 "There was no contact with the plane after its departure from Goose Bay" at 7:35 PM. Yet Huburt's aircraft was one of 62 airplanes en route to Ireland that night - and no one recorded a distress call on the radio?
An Air Force Description of Accident report 18 days later on June 16 1944 indicates the plane contacted Cape Harrison Radio (Labrador) at 8:54 PM, not 7:35 PM as previously recorded ... which is exactly the same time a log entry from Royal Canadian Air Traffic Control indicates radar contact with the aircraft was lost over the Mealy Mountains ... 204 miles from Goose Bay.
The Individual Aircraft Record Card, obtained from the National Air and Space Museum, indicates the the aircraft was "condemned" with a code which, according to the Smithsonian, "we have not seen before, FFC. We can conjecture only, but it is possible this might have been short-hand for Friendly Fire Casualty." [my italics]
Friendly fire? On a routine ferry flight across the Atlantic? Why would the Air Force use an unfamiliar code to indicate why Huburt's airplane went missing?
My father, who was 16 years old at the time, remembers talking to Huburt just before he left for Ireland that summer in 1944. But no one's sure what happened to Huburt's black and white photograph after my great-grandmother passed away in 1974.
May 26, 1944 was 62 years ago ... had he survived Uncle Huburt would be 89 years old today. But I'd still like to know what happened that night over the Atlantic, if only because I don't know happened.
I recently spoke on the phone with the great-niece of 2nd Lt. Elvin L. Pentecost, who was the airplane's co-pilot that night. You can see his memorial here: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=11048202
The airplane's pilot, 2nd Lt. Virginius Stell, Jr., attended VMI until joining the Army Air Force. An anonymous classmate maintained a memorial page, including a photograph, until last month.
Navigator 2nd Lt. James R. Thompson's sister also maintained a web memorial until just a few weeks ago; I was never able to locate her address, and can only assume she's passed away.
Flight B24 1180 Crewmen
Virginius R. Stell, Jr. - pilot
Elvin L. Pentecost - co-pilot
James R. Thompson - navigator
Ernest D. Lampkin - bombadier
Edward J. Harlacher
Copeland A. Forrester
John Demko
Warren F. Carr
Huburt D. Sammons
George H. Brown
Their names are listed individually among the missing at the American Battle Monuments Commission:
http://www.abmc.gov/search/wwii.php
B-24 Liberator image:
http://www.aviation-history.com/consolidated/b24.html
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Colossal Thursday - LOST Season 3
What About The Big Foot Last Night On LOST's Season Finale?
Ancient accounts describe the The Colossus of Rhodes, one of the original 7 Wonders of the Ancient World, as being built around several stone columns or block towers on the interior of the structure, standing on a 50 foot white marble pedestal near the Mandraki harbour entrance on the island of Rhodes. Iron beams were driven into the stone towers, and bronze plates attached to the bars formed the skinning.
The statue stood about 120 feet tall, roughly the same height as the Statue of Liberty.
The Colossus stood for only 56 years until Rhodes was hit by an earthquake in 224 B.C. The statue snapped at the knees and fell over onto the land.
Bronze is an alloy made of aproximately 60% copper and 40% tin. (I think that means it's susceptible to magnetic fields; i.e. electro-magnetic radiation) Magnetic radiation can also wreak havoc with stuff like mechanical compasses ... which explains how all kinds of stuff like airplanes, sailboats, ships and balloons carrying canned foods get sucked into the dimension we know as "the island."
Gotta always remember to keep punching in those numbers - 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42
Sometimes saying "I was wrong" just ain't enough, Mr. Locke.
Today's Playlist:
Mr Big - Free (live) [one drummer, one bass and Paul Kossoff's indomitable Les Paul. Whoa!]
Mr Big Stuff - Heavy D & The Boyz
I'm Too Tough For Mr Big Stuff - Vicki Anderson
Resources:
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.crystalinks.com/colossus.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.crystalinks.com/seven.html&h=451&w=312&sz=25&tbnid=kFklZxYlwH0J:&tbnh=124&tbnw=85&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcolossus%2Bof%2Brhodes%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D&start=3&sa=X&oi=images&ct=image&cd=3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossus_of_Rhodes
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Oh Baby
Geepers, where does all the time go?
If you've been wondering where I've been this week, I've been pouring through old photo albums. Baby photos and stuff. It's kinda like those diet-craze or hair replacement TV commercials featuring lurid "Before & After" images.
Please, be gentle with your comments ...
Today's Playlist:
Baby Face - War
PS. Visit here http://www.expectnet.com/game
and guess Rainey Wilson's arrival date. Use AllAboutRainey to enter once you get to the site.
Ken was the first friend I made at New Spring and inspires me daily to Calm Down & Be More Patient. Ken also loves After Effects as much as I do (but works much faster).
Meg went to the same college as my mom, and so far she's never yelled at me for leaving dirty dishes in her kitchen or for leaving olive oil stains on the upholstery. And while I live behind a locked gate with guard dogs, surveillance cameras and motion detectors, Ken and Meg are the most gracious, welcoming & hospitable hosts you'll ever meet.
That makes them just about Perfect in my book, except for one little thing: Ken uses a Mac.
(Ken I'm pleading with you ... Turn your back on the dark side, and come back into the light.)
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Going Ape On Sunday
When I was a kid I always wondered what Tarzan did on Sunday mornings.
I mean, didn't everybody go to church?
We always went to church, regardless of any other considerations. And because my family (parents, aunts, uncles and both sets of grandparents) all went to the same church every Sunday morning it was difficult for me to think outside the box and imagine what else Tarzan, living in his tree house with Jane and Cheetah, would do ... except go to church.
I assumed that when Sundays rolled around Tarzan and Jane walked (or rode elephants) to whatever church was located in the nearest village, came home for lunch and then lounged around the treehouse until bedtime on Sunday night (no one would travel on foot through the jungle at night to catch an evening service, not even Tarzan).
Guess my 7-year old brain just assumed all the action in Tarzan's life managed to take place between Monday morning and Saturday night, leaving his life action-free and "adventureless" on Sunday morning ... because no episode of Tarzan I can remember ever showed Tarzan going to church.
Meanwhile this 7-year old would spent the hour-long worship service yawning during hymns, squirming in the pews and imagining how totally awesome it'd be to ride elephants to church every week. Like, "I would love worshipping if I could ride elephants to church!"
I guess there's more than one way to ride an elephant - anyway I've found a church that gave me that kind of enthusiasm ... without racking up a big peanut bill in the process.
In a little while I'm gonna slide the car key into the ignition, grin just for a second and say to myself, "Ungawa ... New Spring!"
www.newspring.cc
http://www.kenkifer.com/bikepages/humor/tarland.htm
Friday, May 19, 2006
Da Vinci Code Box Office
Let me start off with 100% disclosure: I didn't read Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code.
I tried several times but the novel read like hastily scribbled notes ... as though Brown had barely enough time to jot down chapter points on paper napkins following his in-flight meals during "research" jaunts between Rome, Paris, London, etc., without later bothering to flesh out the spotty, follow-the-author dialogue or include even a smidgeon of digestible prose.
Maybe Brown was already thinking ahead to a movie deal ... after all, Hollywood is notorious for seducing novelists with huge checks and then mutilating a carefully-crafted work with car crashes, gratuitous nudity and special effects to achieve "good box office."
No matter. We can only guess how much Brown received from the film's $125,000,000 budget (it's estimated Brown earned $50 million from book sales alone) ... but the figure was certainly a good deal less than what Tom Hanks received for playing the lead role, and for his part Hanks isn't even giving interviews.
While The Da Vinci Code opens today here in the US, showings over the past two days in Europe and the Middle East have drawn remarkably poor reviews, not to mention scathing criticism from academic theologians protesting the film's reckless disregard for historical evidence.
Not that Dan Brown, with his sackfuls of money and TV talk show appearances, is likely to be much worried over such small details.
You can read more reviews here:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0382625/usercomments
I tried several times but the novel read like hastily scribbled notes ... as though Brown had barely enough time to jot down chapter points on paper napkins following his in-flight meals during "research" jaunts between Rome, Paris, London, etc., without later bothering to flesh out the spotty, follow-the-author dialogue or include even a smidgeon of digestible prose.
Maybe Brown was already thinking ahead to a movie deal ... after all, Hollywood is notorious for seducing novelists with huge checks and then mutilating a carefully-crafted work with car crashes, gratuitous nudity and special effects to achieve "good box office."
No matter. We can only guess how much Brown received from the film's $125,000,000 budget (it's estimated Brown earned $50 million from book sales alone) ... but the figure was certainly a good deal less than what Tom Hanks received for playing the lead role, and for his part Hanks isn't even giving interviews.
While The Da Vinci Code opens today here in the US, showings over the past two days in Europe and the Middle East have drawn remarkably poor reviews, not to mention scathing criticism from academic theologians protesting the film's reckless disregard for historical evidence.
Not that Dan Brown, with his sackfuls of money and TV talk show appearances, is likely to be much worried over such small details.
You can read more reviews here:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0382625/usercomments
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The Biggest Dummy You'll Ever Meet
I'm totally commited to the concept of empowerment.
To me empowerment means the capability of solving most any situation solo, that is, without hiring either "professionals" or anyone who brags about their "work experience." That's why I'm a big fan of the "Dummy" book series.
You've seen them at the bookstore with titles like ...
Auto Repair for Dummies
Investing for Dummies
Long Haul Trucking for Dummies
Dating and Finding a Mate for Dummies
On my bookshelf at home I've already got
Cooking for Dummies
Basic Sewing for Dummies
Competitive Chainsaw for Dummies
Sponge Diving for Dummies
Home Electrical Wiring for Dummies
Vacuuming and Kitchen Clean-up for Dummies
Haircuts and Non-Surgical First Aid for Dummies
Here's some other Dummy books I'd like to see:
Blues Guitar for Dummies
Home Dentistry & Plastic Reconstructive Surgery for Dummies
Talk Like A Yankee for Dummies
Blogging for Dummies
Writing Self-Help Books for Dummies
LOST for Dummies
But the one I'd like to see the most would be The Dummies Guide to Guides for Dummies
Just hope I can remember the title by the time it hits the bookshelves.
To me empowerment means the capability of solving most any situation solo, that is, without hiring either "professionals" or anyone who brags about their "work experience." That's why I'm a big fan of the "Dummy" book series.
You've seen them at the bookstore with titles like ...
Auto Repair for Dummies
Investing for Dummies
Long Haul Trucking for Dummies
Dating and Finding a Mate for Dummies
On my bookshelf at home I've already got
Cooking for Dummies
Basic Sewing for Dummies
Competitive Chainsaw for Dummies
Sponge Diving for Dummies
Home Electrical Wiring for Dummies
Vacuuming and Kitchen Clean-up for Dummies
Haircuts and Non-Surgical First Aid for Dummies
Here's some other Dummy books I'd like to see:
Blues Guitar for Dummies
Home Dentistry & Plastic Reconstructive Surgery for Dummies
Talk Like A Yankee for Dummies
Blogging for Dummies
Writing Self-Help Books for Dummies
LOST for Dummies
But the one I'd like to see the most would be The Dummies Guide to Guides for Dummies
Just hope I can remember the title by the time it hits the bookshelves.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Going for the Gold
Got the word yesterday on the chipped tooth situation. The remedy, the fix and the cure, comes out to be just two words: ROOT CANAL
A picture's worth 10,000 words in this case, so pictured above is what's likely to give your dentist the idea that a ROOT CANAL might be in order.
I made the silly mistake of asking the dentist what the term ROOT CANAL actually meant. Here's a hint: any time a dentist, physician or gastroenterologist unscrews the top of a sedative dispenser and asks "How many would you like?" before answering well, it's not hard to guess the reason why.
If you don't spent too much time visualizing what that length of stainless steel drilling rod is doing whirling around at the bottom of your tooth's pulp tissue then this self-explanatory image of what a ROOT CANAL involves actually ain't so bad (reach for sedatives now).
But, as with so many things in life, the Big Pay-off comes at the very end. What makes having a ROOT CANAL exciting in the long run is that you've got so many options available when it comes to choosing your mouth's new appearance.
Unless I get an e-mailbag full of responses to the contrary, here's a rough approximation of what my new smile will probably look like.
Oh yeah, there is one other bit of good news. So far as I can tell there's no actual law requiring that a dentist perform your next ROOT CANAL ... I called around yesterday and found out that my favorite vet can do the same job for much, much less money.
And he'll throw in a free flea dip and grooming, just in time for swimsuit season.
Today's "It's Better to Look Good Than It Is to Feel Good" Playlist includes some of my all-time favorites ...
Make Me Smile - Chicago
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide - ZZ Top
Come to Papa - Bob Seger
A picture's worth 10,000 words in this case, so pictured above is what's likely to give your dentist the idea that a ROOT CANAL might be in order.
I made the silly mistake of asking the dentist what the term ROOT CANAL actually meant. Here's a hint: any time a dentist, physician or gastroenterologist unscrews the top of a sedative dispenser and asks "How many would you like?" before answering well, it's not hard to guess the reason why.
If you don't spent too much time visualizing what that length of stainless steel drilling rod is doing whirling around at the bottom of your tooth's pulp tissue then this self-explanatory image of what a ROOT CANAL involves actually ain't so bad (reach for sedatives now).
But, as with so many things in life, the Big Pay-off comes at the very end. What makes having a ROOT CANAL exciting in the long run is that you've got so many options available when it comes to choosing your mouth's new appearance.
Unless I get an e-mailbag full of responses to the contrary, here's a rough approximation of what my new smile will probably look like.
Oh yeah, there is one other bit of good news. So far as I can tell there's no actual law requiring that a dentist perform your next ROOT CANAL ... I called around yesterday and found out that my favorite vet can do the same job for much, much less money.
And he'll throw in a free flea dip and grooming, just in time for swimsuit season.
Today's "It's Better to Look Good Than It Is to Feel Good" Playlist includes some of my all-time favorites ...
Make Me Smile - Chicago
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide - ZZ Top
Come to Papa - Bob Seger
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The $160,000 Lunch - Feel Better Soon!
[Copied from an e-mail I received in this morning's In-Box; thanks Misty!]
Are you having a bad day? Consider this...
In a hospital ICU ward, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am regularly. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred about 11:00 am on Sunday, so a team of experts was assembled. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am, all the doctors and nurses nervously assembled outside the room. Some were holding crosses, Bibles, and other holy objects to ward off evil spirits. As the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part time janitor, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
Still having a bad day?
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the sea amid a crowd of cheering spectators. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate both of them.
Feeling better yet?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with a wire attached to him. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a 2x4 breaking his arm. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Still think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly 2000 pigs broke loose and stampeded through a broken fence. The two protesters were trampled to death.
You must be feeling better now! If not...one more:
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was a bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.
There, feeling better now?
Are you having a bad day? Consider this...
In a hospital ICU ward, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am regularly. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred about 11:00 am on Sunday, so a team of experts was assembled. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am, all the doctors and nurses nervously assembled outside the room. Some were holding crosses, Bibles, and other holy objects to ward off evil spirits. As the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part time janitor, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
Still having a bad day?
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the sea amid a crowd of cheering spectators. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate both of them.
Feeling better yet?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with a wire attached to him. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a 2x4 breaking his arm. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Still think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly 2000 pigs broke loose and stampeded through a broken fence. The two protesters were trampled to death.
You must be feeling better now! If not...one more:
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was a bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.
There, feeling better now?
Greatest Mob Movies
Watched "GoodFellas" last night before my tooth woke up and decided it was ready for more playtime ... by 11:30 I had a pretty good approximation of what childbirth must feel like. Around 3:15 AM I had confidence in my capacity to handle twins without even wincing, and forgot all about trying to get any sleep.
Anyway, "GoodFellas" is a nicely done film. Martin Scorcesese portrays gangsters much more realistically and with less romanticism than Francis Coppola did with either of the first two Godfather movies. All three are worth checking out if you haven't seen them already.
While I'm waiting for an emergency medical evacuation flight back to the dentist, here's Today's Playlist ... from the "GoodFellas" soundtrack.
[Cue the pain neurons now ... rolling, and ... action!].
Anyway, "GoodFellas" is a nicely done film. Martin Scorcesese portrays gangsters much more realistically and with less romanticism than Francis Coppola did with either of the first two Godfather movies. All three are worth checking out if you haven't seen them already.
While I'm waiting for an emergency medical evacuation flight back to the dentist, here's Today's Playlist ... from the "GoodFellas" soundtrack.
[Cue the pain neurons now ... rolling, and ... action!].
JUMP INTO THE FIRE - Harry Nilsson
Monday, May 15, 2006
Always Be Very Clear
Think I spoke too soon. About 2 hours ago the familiar symptoms (imagine holding your gums to the ungrounded side of a 220-volt power feed) returned - this time they brought their friends.
I'm pretty sure the wrong tooth got drilled. In fact, once the Novacaine wore off I felt quite certain.
Write this part down because it's very important: when the dentist asks "So the right side hurts?" don't be in a hurry and start slobbering, "Yes, oh my yes ... just please make it stop."
Instead ask, "My right ... or your right?"
I'm pretty sure the wrong tooth got drilled. In fact, once the Novacaine wore off I felt quite certain.
Write this part down because it's very important: when the dentist asks "So the right side hurts?" don't be in a hurry and start slobbering, "Yes, oh my yes ... just please make it stop."
Instead ask, "My right ... or your right?"
Wh' Hoppnd?
OK civilized world, it's time to calm down.
There's a perfectly good reason Papa wasn't up & online with Today's Playlist this morning. Around 10PM last night one of my molars experienced what felt like a four-hour hot wax injection, which left me feeling as miserable as Steve Jobs at a Why Windows Rocks! convention until well after 3:00 AM.
I spent this afternoon getting thoroughly X-rayed, probed, drilled real good and being coaxed back down into the dentist's chair. Turns out the problem was probably just a cracked tooth ... which probably was the result of either my jaw hitting the floor Thursday night when Libby died on Lost [I had it taped], or from my intensive training as an Olympic-caliber Laundry Diver.
I was worried I might end up with my tongue epoxied to the roof of my mouth, but I can form basic syllables now, and so far so good.
Today's Playlist focuses on a single, simple theme ... can you guess what it is?
Drilling Holes in His Head Is Not the Answer - Eleven Minutes Away
Eyeball Drilling - Negative Creeps
Some Drilling Implied - Guided By Voices
str8 Drilling - tinka [not sure; but it sounds like Christian Rap has arrived ...?]
There's a perfectly good reason Papa wasn't up & online with Today's Playlist this morning. Around 10PM last night one of my molars experienced what felt like a four-hour hot wax injection, which left me feeling as miserable as Steve Jobs at a Why Windows Rocks! convention until well after 3:00 AM.
I spent this afternoon getting thoroughly X-rayed, probed, drilled real good and being coaxed back down into the dentist's chair. Turns out the problem was probably just a cracked tooth ... which probably was the result of either my jaw hitting the floor Thursday night when Libby died on Lost [I had it taped], or from my intensive training as an Olympic-caliber Laundry Diver.
I was worried I might end up with my tongue epoxied to the roof of my mouth, but I can form basic syllables now, and so far so good.
Today's Playlist focuses on a single, simple theme ... can you guess what it is?
Drilling Holes in His Head Is Not the Answer - Eleven Minutes Away
Eyeball Drilling - Negative Creeps
Some Drilling Implied - Guided By Voices
str8 Drilling - tinka [not sure; but it sounds like Christian Rap has arrived ...?]
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Whose Plan Are You On???
As Christians we believe in God's will - and trust that because He knew every one of us before we were born then He also has a Perfect Plan for our lives.
But sometimes no matter how hard we try life throws us a curve ball, whether it's a situation involving finances, relationship issues, a sudden death or illness, which might lead us to start wondering why God's plan isn't proceeding as exactly and as smoothly as we expected. Did God really intend for my marriage to fall apart? Did God really intend for me to suddenly lose my job? Why couldn't God have made my car swerve and avoid t-boning that minivan?
The problem is we might be thinking of God's Perfect Plan as a kind of "schedule" for our lives - an agenda we sometimes wish we could print out and keep folded in pocket to consult along the way - so we could completely avoid making hard decisions ... and possibly even some mistakes.
Nobody enjoys making mistakes, so we tend to imagine God as the Supreme travel agent, our almighty "friend in the business" whose only concern (once we've agreed to "give Him our business") is handling all of life's arrangements so we're left free to enjoy a totally hassle-free straight-line journey from Point A in this world ... all the way to Point B in Heaven.
Some of us go so far as to act in our dating lives as though God's Plan promises us reservations at The Perfect Marriage And Relationship Restaurant ... and all we have to do is sit down and wait for our main course to arrive at the table so we can dive right in.
Making basic decisions (Where should I work? Who should I date? Where should I live?) based on the notion that all we have to do is wait for God to run ahead and pick up all the sharp objects from our paths - and then hold the door to the future open for us - starts sounding awfully self-centered ... and very legalistic.
Instead of being spiritual spectators our faith should give us the strength, courage and enthusiasm to get up from the bleachers and become involved on the playing field by making hard decisions, by moving forward and acting on the direction God has given us. I believe God expects us to be challenging, dynamic and interactive ... not only in sharing our faith but also in how we make decisions and choices affecting our lives - as part of our witness to others.
If we live as though God's Plan means all we have to do is sit back and wait for God to show up in the driveway Monday morning to chauffeur us to The Perfect Career, that He will work a deal with the bank to fix our bad credit or finance that new house, or that He will FedEx the Perfect Partner directly to the altar, then I think maybe we're pursuing our own agendas more closely than we're seeking His Plan.
Maybe facing obstacles and emotional hardships is actually part of God's plan ... because confronting an overwhelming situation can have only two possible outcomes: Either we endure through Faith and know that God really is in control no matter what; Or we come to doubt God's plan and fall back on our own schemes ... and miss out completely on the abundance God promised.
But sometimes no matter how hard we try life throws us a curve ball, whether it's a situation involving finances, relationship issues, a sudden death or illness, which might lead us to start wondering why God's plan isn't proceeding as exactly and as smoothly as we expected. Did God really intend for my marriage to fall apart? Did God really intend for me to suddenly lose my job? Why couldn't God have made my car swerve and avoid t-boning that minivan?
The problem is we might be thinking of God's Perfect Plan as a kind of "schedule" for our lives - an agenda we sometimes wish we could print out and keep folded in pocket to consult along the way - so we could completely avoid making hard decisions ... and possibly even some mistakes.
Nobody enjoys making mistakes, so we tend to imagine God as the Supreme travel agent, our almighty "friend in the business" whose only concern (once we've agreed to "give Him our business") is handling all of life's arrangements so we're left free to enjoy a totally hassle-free straight-line journey from Point A in this world ... all the way to Point B in Heaven.
Some of us go so far as to act in our dating lives as though God's Plan promises us reservations at The Perfect Marriage And Relationship Restaurant ... and all we have to do is sit down and wait for our main course to arrive at the table so we can dive right in.
Making basic decisions (Where should I work? Who should I date? Where should I live?) based on the notion that all we have to do is wait for God to run ahead and pick up all the sharp objects from our paths - and then hold the door to the future open for us - starts sounding awfully self-centered ... and very legalistic.
Instead of being spiritual spectators our faith should give us the strength, courage and enthusiasm to get up from the bleachers and become involved on the playing field by making hard decisions, by moving forward and acting on the direction God has given us. I believe God expects us to be challenging, dynamic and interactive ... not only in sharing our faith but also in how we make decisions and choices affecting our lives - as part of our witness to others.
If we live as though God's Plan means all we have to do is sit back and wait for God to show up in the driveway Monday morning to chauffeur us to The Perfect Career, that He will work a deal with the bank to fix our bad credit or finance that new house, or that He will FedEx the Perfect Partner directly to the altar, then I think maybe we're pursuing our own agendas more closely than we're seeking His Plan.
Maybe facing obstacles and emotional hardships is actually part of God's plan ... because confronting an overwhelming situation can have only two possible outcomes: Either we endure through Faith and know that God really is in control no matter what; Or we come to doubt God's plan and fall back on our own schemes ... and miss out completely on the abundance God promised.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Whatcha Doing This Weekend?
You don't even have to ask and most people will enthusiastically start sharing with you how hectic, just how really busy, their lives have become.
We're all trying to squeeze our personal lives into the gaps of schedules that seem overloaded past bursting with financial demands, family obligations, the nuisances of running errands, buying groceries, running the kids back and forth, keeping salon appointments or trying to catch the latest sale at the neighborhood Big Box Store.
Weekends always turn out to be the worst. Seems like there's never enough time to fit everything in and by the time the alarm clock starts erupting like a little volcano on Monday morning, the weekend's flown by in a hazy blur.
Take a look at what's out there competing for your attention this weekend: The NBA Playoffs, Desperate Housewives, Law and Order, CSI: Miami, and Survivor are all gonna be on TV. Local movie theaters are showing Mission: Impossible III, United 93 and Ice Age: The Meltdown.
And I won't even go into stuff like yard sales, birthday parties and weddings, or finally getting around to cleaning out the garage.
"I'm just too busy" is the excuse most often given for skipping church ... people live such hectic, fast-paced lifestyles that we feel justified thinking that sometimes it's absolutely necessary and OK to take time off from church so we can spend the extra time "getting caught up." Because as everyone knows life ain't as easy as it used to be ... and sometimes a hour spent in church gets in the way, seems wasted and becomes too much of a bother.
Here's what some other folks will be doing with their time this weekend:
-In Darfur, the Sudanese government will spend its weekend using its air force, combined with Arab "Janjaweed" militias and mass starvation, to continue the systematic slaughter of black Sudanese ... including Christians. At the present rate an estimated 2500 people will be murdered between Friday afternoon and Monday morning
-6900 people in Africa will spend this weekend dying from malaria ... which was preventable with just $6 of medication
-In India 3 million people will go to sleep Saturday night suffering from leprosy - and 15-20% of them are infectious. Another estimated 19 million Indians will spend their weekend suffering with symptoms of filariasis ... parasitic worms
-By Monday morning 172,800 people will have spent their weekend starving to death
-Worldwide 500,000 people will die, having spent their last weekend without knowing Christ
Looks like it's gonna be a very busy weekend after all.
www.newspring.cc
17 Countries Where Christians Are Persecuted:
http://www.epm.org/articles/pers17.html
We're all trying to squeeze our personal lives into the gaps of schedules that seem overloaded past bursting with financial demands, family obligations, the nuisances of running errands, buying groceries, running the kids back and forth, keeping salon appointments or trying to catch the latest sale at the neighborhood Big Box Store.
Weekends always turn out to be the worst. Seems like there's never enough time to fit everything in and by the time the alarm clock starts erupting like a little volcano on Monday morning, the weekend's flown by in a hazy blur.
Take a look at what's out there competing for your attention this weekend: The NBA Playoffs, Desperate Housewives, Law and Order, CSI: Miami, and Survivor are all gonna be on TV. Local movie theaters are showing Mission: Impossible III, United 93 and Ice Age: The Meltdown.
And I won't even go into stuff like yard sales, birthday parties and weddings, or finally getting around to cleaning out the garage.
"I'm just too busy" is the excuse most often given for skipping church ... people live such hectic, fast-paced lifestyles that we feel justified thinking that sometimes it's absolutely necessary and OK to take time off from church so we can spend the extra time "getting caught up." Because as everyone knows life ain't as easy as it used to be ... and sometimes a hour spent in church gets in the way, seems wasted and becomes too much of a bother.
Here's what some other folks will be doing with their time this weekend:
-In Darfur, the Sudanese government will spend its weekend using its air force, combined with Arab "Janjaweed" militias and mass starvation, to continue the systematic slaughter of black Sudanese ... including Christians. At the present rate an estimated 2500 people will be murdered between Friday afternoon and Monday morning
-6900 people in Africa will spend this weekend dying from malaria ... which was preventable with just $6 of medication
-In India 3 million people will go to sleep Saturday night suffering from leprosy - and 15-20% of them are infectious. Another estimated 19 million Indians will spend their weekend suffering with symptoms of filariasis ... parasitic worms
-By Monday morning 172,800 people will have spent their weekend starving to death
-Worldwide 500,000 people will die, having spent their last weekend without knowing Christ
Looks like it's gonna be a very busy weekend after all.
www.newspring.cc
17 Countries Where Christians Are Persecuted:
http://www.epm.org/articles/pers17.html
Thursday, May 11, 2006
I Can't Make This Stuff Up
When I was a kid I loved science fiction ... movies, books, cartoons, whatever. I was fascinated by flying saucers, Star Trek and time travel but it never occured to me that the words used by talking robots could ever be used to form a new religion.
Pulp author L. Ron Hubbard apparently had more imagination than the rest of us, and launched the Church of Scientology back in 1952. Soon afterwards, Scientology left earth's orbit and departed for celestial space .... boldly going where not even Mormons had gone before.
You may've already heard a little about Scientology through headlines about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Silent Birth. Here's some of Scientology's other basic beliefs:
-We are all immortal spiritual beings, known as thetans.
-Through the process of "auditing", a person can become free of "engrams" and "implants" to reach the state of "Clear," followed by the state of "Operating Thetan". Each state represents the recovery of the native spiritual abilities of the individual, and confers dramatic mental and physical benefits.
-The thetan has lived through many past lives and continues to live beyond physical death.
-A person is basically good, but becomes "aberrated" by experiences of pain and unconsciousness in his or her life.
-What's true for you consists of what you have observed. No other beliefs should be forced as "true" on anyone.
-Humans retain many emotional problems caused by early stages of evolution [suddenly sprouting feathers or having your tail fall off tends to do that].
-The ultimate goal is to get the soul (thetan) back to its native state of total freedom, thus gaining control over matter, energy, space, time, thoughts, form, and life. This freed state is called Operating Thetan, or OT for short.
I'm not sure what any of all that means but I'm sorta disappointed not to find light sabers, wookiees, or Queen Amidala's handmaidens mentioned anywhere (Sabe's a real hottie). Bummer.
Thursday's Thetan's All-Clear (so turn loose the asteroids) Playlist:
Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft - Klaatu
[I liked Klaatu better when I still thought they were The Beatles. Oh well.]
Freaks Come Out At Night - Whodini
O Superman - Laurie Anderson
Pulp author L. Ron Hubbard apparently had more imagination than the rest of us, and launched the Church of Scientology back in 1952. Soon afterwards, Scientology left earth's orbit and departed for celestial space .... boldly going where not even Mormons had gone before.
You may've already heard a little about Scientology through headlines about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Silent Birth. Here's some of Scientology's other basic beliefs:
-We are all immortal spiritual beings, known as thetans.
-Through the process of "auditing", a person can become free of "engrams" and "implants" to reach the state of "Clear," followed by the state of "Operating Thetan". Each state represents the recovery of the native spiritual abilities of the individual, and confers dramatic mental and physical benefits.
-The thetan has lived through many past lives and continues to live beyond physical death.
-A person is basically good, but becomes "aberrated" by experiences of pain and unconsciousness in his or her life.
-What's true for you consists of what you have observed. No other beliefs should be forced as "true" on anyone.
-Humans retain many emotional problems caused by early stages of evolution [suddenly sprouting feathers or having your tail fall off tends to do that].
-The ultimate goal is to get the soul (thetan) back to its native state of total freedom, thus gaining control over matter, energy, space, time, thoughts, form, and life. This freed state is called Operating Thetan, or OT for short.
I'm not sure what any of all that means but I'm sorta disappointed not to find light sabers, wookiees, or Queen Amidala's handmaidens mentioned anywhere (Sabe's a real hottie). Bummer.
Thursday's Thetan's All-Clear (so turn loose the asteroids) Playlist:
Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft - Klaatu
[I liked Klaatu better when I still thought they were The Beatles. Oh well.]
Freaks Come Out At Night - Whodini
O Superman - Laurie Anderson
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
How to Give Sadness the Boot
Maybe it's the dreariness outside that's causing so many people to feel sad today.
I wouldn't even mention it except to say that whenever I'm feeling down, blah, unfocused, blue or whatever, I've got two sure-fire solutions based on personal experience ... and both are Absolutely 100% Guaranteed to get you refocused and your mind completely off being sad.
The Blahs Fixer #1: Let's Help the Dog Go Outside
Sometimes Luke gets so enthralled by his favorite characters on Animal Planet that he forgets when it's time to go outside ... and it becomes necessary to gently coax him along, using the side of my foot to help steer him through the porch door. Then I slam the door very quickly behind him ... before he reverses direction and slips back inside.
The other day Luke had different plans. At the last millisecond he faked me out and dodged back inside just missing the rapidly approaching door ... which I proceeded to slam amazingly hard on my bare and unprotected foot. Almost instantly I forgot all about being sad, and spent the next three hours wondering whether I should try driving myself over to AnMed or just relax on the curb and flag down an ambulance.
What if you don't have a dog?
The Blahs Fixer #2: Company's Gonna Be Here In An Hour
Gather up as many loose clothes as you can find. Keep on adding sheets and towels, whether they're clean or not, until you've got a load about 50% larger than your washing machine's rated capacity. Bundle everything up in your arms, making sure the top of the stack is at least a foot higher than the top of your head.
Now, and this is the critical part ... run down the nearest flight of stairs as fast as you can. Don't worry about breaking anything internally, because the clothes are there to protect you. I typically do this one 3, sometimes 4 times a month and it never fails to satisfy.
[Hint: when you do your face-plant, which is the whole point of this exercise, if you don't start rolling around and gagging on the hallway floor because you've knocked the wind out of yourself it only means you're not trying hard enough ... and may need to start thinking about whether you actually enjoy feeing sad.]
So don't let the blahs keep getting you down ... get out there and attack that sadness with gusto!
I wouldn't even mention it except to say that whenever I'm feeling down, blah, unfocused, blue or whatever, I've got two sure-fire solutions based on personal experience ... and both are Absolutely 100% Guaranteed to get you refocused and your mind completely off being sad.
The Blahs Fixer #1: Let's Help the Dog Go Outside
Sometimes Luke gets so enthralled by his favorite characters on Animal Planet that he forgets when it's time to go outside ... and it becomes necessary to gently coax him along, using the side of my foot to help steer him through the porch door. Then I slam the door very quickly behind him ... before he reverses direction and slips back inside.
The other day Luke had different plans. At the last millisecond he faked me out and dodged back inside just missing the rapidly approaching door ... which I proceeded to slam amazingly hard on my bare and unprotected foot. Almost instantly I forgot all about being sad, and spent the next three hours wondering whether I should try driving myself over to AnMed or just relax on the curb and flag down an ambulance.
What if you don't have a dog?
The Blahs Fixer #2: Company's Gonna Be Here In An Hour
Gather up as many loose clothes as you can find. Keep on adding sheets and towels, whether they're clean or not, until you've got a load about 50% larger than your washing machine's rated capacity. Bundle everything up in your arms, making sure the top of the stack is at least a foot higher than the top of your head.
Now, and this is the critical part ... run down the nearest flight of stairs as fast as you can. Don't worry about breaking anything internally, because the clothes are there to protect you. I typically do this one 3, sometimes 4 times a month and it never fails to satisfy.
[Hint: when you do your face-plant, which is the whole point of this exercise, if you don't start rolling around and gagging on the hallway floor because you've knocked the wind out of yourself it only means you're not trying hard enough ... and may need to start thinking about whether you actually enjoy feeing sad.]
So don't let the blahs keep getting you down ... get out there and attack that sadness with gusto!
What's Picadillo Anyway?
If you read yesterday's post you might be wondering What's Picadillo?
Picadillo is a spicy Spanish and Latin American dish made from seasoned ground meat and vegetables like tomatoes, peppers, and onions. I grew up with Picadillo served Cuban-style, with yellow rice (arroz amarillo) and black beans (frioles negros).
Why is this important? Because it's summer and when the humidity's topping 90%, Picadillo is one of the few meals you can actually enjoy on a blistering afternoon without worrying about falling asleep or feeling groggy afterwards.
And as everyone knows, I'd rather try dribbling a wasp nest than waste an afternoon sawing zzzzz's with Mr Sleepy Time.
Papa Ridgeback's Personal Picadillo Recipe # 1
butter
olive oil
1 pound ground beef
1 large onion
2 cloves garlic
8 ounce can whole tomatoes
1 1/2 tablespoons tomato paste
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 cup beef stock
1 small can green peas
yellow or white rice (remember to add 2 bay leaves and butter while boiling yellow rice)
Sautee the finely-chopped onion and garlic in butter and olive oil, then add the ground beef and continue cooking over medium heat until browned. Stir in the tomato paste and whole tomatoes, then cover the mixture with beef stock. Simmer for about 30 minutes. Add sliced Spanish olives and green peas before serving over yellow rice.
Some people don't like tomato sauce; the next one uses white cooking wine instead
Papa Ridgeback's Personal Picadillo Recipe #2
2 onions, finely sliced
3 garlic cloves, finely sliced
3 tablespoons butter (minimum)
1 pound ground beef
salt and pepper
majoram (more is better)
oregano
500ml white cooking wine
250ml sliced Spanish olives
3 tablespoons canned green peas
butter
olive oil
pimentos
yellow or white rice (remember to add 2 bay leaves-and butter- if boiling yellow rice)
Satuee the onions and garlic in olive oil and butter until they're translucent, then add the ground beef. Season with oregano, marjoram, salt and pepper to taste. When the meat's done add the cooking wine and pimentos. Allow to simmer for while you make the rice (about 20 minutes).
Just before serving, add the olives and green peas to the meat mixture, and serve over the rice.
Hint: be sure to use enough butter ... and I like to add 1/4 cup of diced tomato to the yellow rice about halfway through.
You can find a nice recipe for Frioles Negros here:
http://www.recipezaar.com/141305 (adding cooked chopped bacon highly recommended!)
Papa's Picadillo Preparation Playlist:
Black Magic Woman/Gypsy Queen live - Santana - Abraxas
Black Magic Woman/Gypsy Queen - Santana - Sacred Fire Live in South America
Ya No Queda Nada (Reggaeton Album Version) - Tito Nieves
I Like It Like That - Tito Nieves
Ni Como Aminga Ni Como Amante - Grupo Niche
Monday, May 08, 2006
Get Your Guayabera On
I'm awfully glad Capri Pants for Men never quite caught on. The fall camouflage craze made masculine fashion sense kinda touch and go there for a bit (can you imagine Camo Capris for Men?), but except for a handful of waiters dashing through chi chi sushi bars in Atlanta I think the Capris for Men danger, at least for now, has passed.
Capri Pants For Men is plenty nauseous enough ... but I gotta wonder how long it'd be before guys wearing capri pants started wanting wedges, too. All I can say about that is, Yikes.
On the other hand I'm kinda sorry guayabera shirts also struck out. I don't have any explanation; 100% cotton guayabera shirts seem like they'd be perfect summer casual attire here in the Upstate ... but what do I know about things?
A friend brought me back a guayabera shirt from Havana several years ago, but clumsy as I am I'd probably spill picadillo all over the front ... so I've never worn my guayabera, not a single time.
Maybe I'll try it on in a few minutes, after cueing-up today's playlist ...
Take Time Out for A Terrific Tuesday Playlist:
Falling In and Out of Love/Amie - Pure Prarie League
Can't You See (live) - Marshall Tucker Band - Searchin' for a Rainbow
[If you're feeling anxious about ever finding your Perfect Someone, listen to these two songs and remember ... your Perfect Someone is still out there waiting to find you, too.]
River Seeks the Deep - Rafael - Music to Disappear In II
Healing Dance - Raphael - Music to Disappear In II
Why Didn't I Think of This Before?
I hardly ever drank coffee until about 2 years ago.
Then I met a genuine coffee meister (I don't wanna use his real name so let's call him "Ken") whose insights and brewing brilliance reversed my negative biases against coffea arabica. Now it seems like the day never quite kick-starts without it.
Still coffee-making was a chore and being chronically ADD I stayed fidgety about waiting 4 minutes for my little single-cup French Press to finish brewing. Then lightning struck my idea antenna like a howitzer and made me realize I'd been overlooking a simple solution.
Last night I pre-filled a 4-cup Mr. Coffee and moved it to my nightstand.
Viola! I've got hot coffee without having done more than roll over in my sleep.
Tonight I'm putting a George Foreman grill (I figure frozen bacon will thaw properly overnight) beside the Mr Coffee and plan on staying in bed really late or until the phone starts ringing ... anyway I start feeling guilty if I'm not up & moving by 5am.
Today's Playlist: It's dreary today in the Electric City so we'll keep things smooth and mellow ... at least until the sun burns off the murk.
Drifting - Jimi Hendrix (sweeter, more memorable than you might imagine)
Pick Just One So You Don't Spoil Your Supper:
Fantasia On A Theme By Thomas Tallis - Ralph Vaughan Williams
If you do classical music at all this moody, introspective piece probably deserves a listen during the after-lunch doldrums. At least it's more rewarding than surfing Ebay for Kula Shaker bootlegs or answering wrong numbers on the office phone.
Mountain Jam - The Allman Brothers Band -The Fillmore Concerts
Dwayne Allman's guitar (between 27:25-30:36) becomes a voice of contrition and comes closer to expressing ... well, if you've ever had a heartache and then got an unexpected chance at starting over I don't have to say anything else - but no fair skipping ahead to hear it first.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Adventure Is Where You Find It
Ken's new house has a big sprawling yard. So far Ken's been using a push-power to get the mowing done. Obviously Ken could be spending his time more efficiently and productively.
That's why this morning I topped up the tank, and right now am heading up Highway 81 on my little John Deere lawn tractor to Ken's house. It's 6.5 miles or about 4 hours from where I live to Ken's house, so my ETA is around 2 pm. I figure that's plenty of time to get back home before dark, but I checked the headlight before leaving and besides, there's plenty of gas stations between here and Ken's house.
Won't Ken be very, very surprised.
Today's Don't Honk At Papa While He's Riding His John Deere In Traffic Playlist:
Can't Find My Way Home - Widespread Panic (Uber Cobra)
Friday, May 05, 2006
Confessions of An Emotionally Shallow Mind
This is gonna be real hard, so I'll try to be real quick, too.
It takes me a long time to figure stuff out - I'm one of the people who just don't get it. Like, Wednesday night at New Spring the programs had a glossy white reverse side that spelled BIG in a cool stylized white font ... so I spent the next 36 hours trying to peel the white letters away - thinking there was a stubborn decal glued underneath.
Wait, it gets worse. I've met maybe 5 folks who claim they can see auras and each time I was told either my aura's battery's run down, or somewhere back in the garage waiting for parts. I even dated a Clinical Psychologist for two years; she told me I have roughly the same complexity as a saltine cracker. When it comes down to hearing "What's wrong? You should just know what's wrong!" well, you may as well try getting an answer from a traffic cone.
I also hate being cornered and forced to listen to other peoples' favorite songs because I already know I'll like my favorite songs better... but ballooning around the blog-o-sphere yesterday I found Jewel's 1000 Miles Away.
Looking back on the 56 or so of my relationships that have ended so badly, 1000 Miles Away best relives what it's like waking up at 3 AM and feeling like you've been abandoned on a forgotten planet ... and the total unfairness of suddenly realizing you've been in love alone.
Don't worry, I'm gonna snap myself out of it before The Jerry Springer Show comes on in a little bit. In the meantime I've got a full box of scented Kleenex ready beside the keyboard so here we go with today's playlist:
1000 Miles Away (acoustic live) - Jewel
Ball and Chain - Big Brother and The Holding Company
I Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding (Live at Monterey preferred)
Come Live With Me - Ray Charles (very hard to find; try Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers Live at Carnegie Hall instead)
Special Papa Ridgeback Growl-Out today to My Boy Brent - it's his last day in Greenville.
Brent, this one's for you: How Many More Times - Led Zeppelin
It takes me a long time to figure stuff out - I'm one of the people who just don't get it. Like, Wednesday night at New Spring the programs had a glossy white reverse side that spelled BIG in a cool stylized white font ... so I spent the next 36 hours trying to peel the white letters away - thinking there was a stubborn decal glued underneath.
Wait, it gets worse. I've met maybe 5 folks who claim they can see auras and each time I was told either my aura's battery's run down, or somewhere back in the garage waiting for parts. I even dated a Clinical Psychologist for two years; she told me I have roughly the same complexity as a saltine cracker. When it comes down to hearing "What's wrong? You should just know what's wrong!" well, you may as well try getting an answer from a traffic cone.
I also hate being cornered and forced to listen to other peoples' favorite songs because I already know I'll like my favorite songs better... but ballooning around the blog-o-sphere yesterday I found Jewel's 1000 Miles Away.
Looking back on the 56 or so of my relationships that have ended so badly, 1000 Miles Away best relives what it's like waking up at 3 AM and feeling like you've been abandoned on a forgotten planet ... and the total unfairness of suddenly realizing you've been in love alone.
Don't worry, I'm gonna snap myself out of it before The Jerry Springer Show comes on in a little bit. In the meantime I've got a full box of scented Kleenex ready beside the keyboard so here we go with today's playlist:
1000 Miles Away (acoustic live) - Jewel
Ball and Chain - Big Brother and The Holding Company
I Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding (Live at Monterey preferred)
Come Live With Me - Ray Charles (very hard to find; try Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers Live at Carnegie Hall instead)
Special Papa Ridgeback Growl-Out today to My Boy Brent - it's his last day in Greenville.
Brent, this one's for you: How Many More Times - Led Zeppelin
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Unravelling the Hanso Foundation
The secret founder of the Hanso Foundation is Shankar Haran.
In Hindi, words sounding similar to "Shankar" include values, correction, an improvement, purification, an embellishment, a refinement, and education.
Similar-sounding words to "Haran" are removing, carrying off, seizing, taking away, plunder, ruin, destruction.
Just sayin'.
ps. Does anybody know if next week is a repeat?
In Hindi, words sounding similar to "Shankar" include values, correction, an improvement, purification, an embellishment, a refinement, and education.
Similar-sounding words to "Haran" are removing, carrying off, seizing, taking away, plunder, ruin, destruction.
Just sayin'.
ps. Does anybody know if next week is a repeat?
My 50" Vertical Leap
This morning in Anderson County around 9:51 AM if you happened to hear what sounded like a 200-pound goat screaming as though its horns were being re-shaped with a John Deere chipper you can relax ... that was just me trying to do some ironing.
I only needed about 4 seconds of ironing to learn:
1) The handle is the only part of an electric iron that doesn't get extremely hot ... and if your fingers go anywhere near the hot part your skin will stick to that part, and stay there
2) I do have a 50-inch vertical leap - it's amazing
3) I can pronouce words I don't recognize
4) I can dance. I can dance!
5) I really need to pay more attention around household items that bite
Glad to say I never said any bad words, not a single one ... maybe because I didn't know any that adequately expressed the incredible sensations my thumb began sharing with me. Now I've got a blister the size of Rhode Island and I'm scared to go near the iron, not even to unplug it or retrieve the pants (they probably didn't need ironing in the first place).
I've decided ironing is Bad Mojo ... and Real Men should have nothing to do with it.
I only needed about 4 seconds of ironing to learn:
1) The handle is the only part of an electric iron that doesn't get extremely hot ... and if your fingers go anywhere near the hot part your skin will stick to that part, and stay there
2) I do have a 50-inch vertical leap - it's amazing
3) I can pronouce words I don't recognize
4) I can dance. I can dance!
5) I really need to pay more attention around household items that bite
Glad to say I never said any bad words, not a single one ... maybe because I didn't know any that adequately expressed the incredible sensations my thumb began sharing with me. Now I've got a blister the size of Rhode Island and I'm scared to go near the iron, not even to unplug it or retrieve the pants (they probably didn't need ironing in the first place).
I've decided ironing is Bad Mojo ... and Real Men should have nothing to do with it.
LOST: Housekeeping Back at the Shaft?
For all the Losties out there who're still reeling from last night's Reservoir Dogs-like climax, here's some ideas about why the bloodletting was bound to happen:
1) Fewer characters means a tighter plot, and fewer loose ends to tie up
2) Ana Lucia's unpopularity meant her departure was welcomed ... and long overdue
3) Lower production costs (i.e. actors' salaries)
4) Nobody really believed the romance between Hurley and Libby was plausible
5) Now we've got to be concerned about the nature of Michael's determination to find Walt
6) Maybe Walt isn't really Walt anymore ... he's the "Other Walt"
What's stressing me the most is whether we'll ever find out the real reason Libby happened to be sharing space-time with Hurley back at the institution. Libby's eyes always kinda hinted she had that replicant thing going on. Her irritating preoccupation on the beach with picnic details like blankets, drinks, etc. certainly suggested OCD tendencies ... and that can be a bad thing when you're stranded on an uncharted tropical island for the duration.
While we're waiting for the emotional fallout to spread further angst over the island, today's playlist is dedicated to Walt's still-missing son Michael ...
So Far Away - Carole King
1) Fewer characters means a tighter plot, and fewer loose ends to tie up
2) Ana Lucia's unpopularity meant her departure was welcomed ... and long overdue
3) Lower production costs (i.e. actors' salaries)
4) Nobody really believed the romance between Hurley and Libby was plausible
5) Now we've got to be concerned about the nature of Michael's determination to find Walt
6) Maybe Walt isn't really Walt anymore ... he's the "Other Walt"
What's stressing me the most is whether we'll ever find out the real reason Libby happened to be sharing space-time with Hurley back at the institution. Libby's eyes always kinda hinted she had that replicant thing going on. Her irritating preoccupation on the beach with picnic details like blankets, drinks, etc. certainly suggested OCD tendencies ... and that can be a bad thing when you're stranded on an uncharted tropical island for the duration.
While we're waiting for the emotional fallout to spread further angst over the island, today's playlist is dedicated to Walt's still-missing son Michael ...
So Far Away - Carole King
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
The Loudest Band of All Time?
I was putting together today's playlist and for no reason at all thought of a band from back in 1968 that promoted itself as "the loudest band in history."
After googling around a bit I learned that Blues Cheer guitarist Leigh Stevens and bassist Dickie Petersen cabled between 8 and 10 100-watt Marshall heads together, turned the volume to infinity, and kept on going until either their speaker coils caught fire or their amplifiers' tubes exploded.
Blue Cheer played so loud drummer Paul Whaley nailed his drum kit to the stage floor to keep it from vibrating away. There's one article indicating Blue Cheer had to cut their show at Chicago's Kinetic Playground short because the rearmost wall farthest from the stage cracked floor to ceiling due to the vibration ... and that a number of people had already left the show with their ears bleeding
I'm guessing that was some serious volume.
Today's playlist includes Blue Cheer's 1968 AM radio hit:
Summertime Blues
* * * * *
That wasn't much fun, was it? Let's switch over to Enya, and give our ears a break.
Shepherd Moons
Storms in Africa
How Can I Keep from Singing?
Na Laetha Geal M'oige
Na Laetha Geal M'oige gets better with every listen ...
After googling around a bit I learned that Blues Cheer guitarist Leigh Stevens and bassist Dickie Petersen cabled between 8 and 10 100-watt Marshall heads together, turned the volume to infinity, and kept on going until either their speaker coils caught fire or their amplifiers' tubes exploded.
Blue Cheer played so loud drummer Paul Whaley nailed his drum kit to the stage floor to keep it from vibrating away. There's one article indicating Blue Cheer had to cut their show at Chicago's Kinetic Playground short because the rearmost wall farthest from the stage cracked floor to ceiling due to the vibration ... and that a number of people had already left the show with their ears bleeding
I'm guessing that was some serious volume.
Today's playlist includes Blue Cheer's 1968 AM radio hit:
Summertime Blues
* * * * *
That wasn't much fun, was it? Let's switch over to Enya, and give our ears a break.
Shepherd Moons
Storms in Africa
How Can I Keep from Singing?
Na Laetha Geal M'oige
Na Laetha Geal M'oige gets better with every listen ...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
The Rules Were Different Then?
Remember what Einstein said about travelling at the the speed of light ... that you could never reach 186,000 miles per second, not ever, largely because (a) accelerating to light speed would require infinite energy; and (2) your mass would become infinite as you neared 186,000 mps?
Good enough for me, except for one thing. Physicists agree that in the first few nanoseconds following the Big Bang the universe expanded much, much more rapidly than Einstein's speed of light limitation allows ... unless of course you've got infinite power at your disposal.
Hmmm ... have scientists ever explained where that infinite power following the Big Bang came from?
Several years ago I asked a physics professor friend about this. He explained, "The rules were different then. Time as we know it didn't yet exist."
Really? Or maybe there's another explanation.
"From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can oppose what I do. No one can reverse my actions." Isaiah 43:13 [NLT]
"I am the LORD, and I do not change" Malachi 3:6 [NLT]
Science may allow itself a bit of fudging to explain incongruities ... but The Creator is without contradiction.
Today's playlist is way out there. Way, way out there. Don't let the moonbeams hitcha.
Kelly Watch the Stars - Air
Shattered In Aspect - Faith and the Muse
Angel's Breath - Sky of Grace
Flying and Floating - Paul Avgerinos
Mastodon - Steve Roach
Monday, May 01, 2006
Don't Read This If You're A Clemson Fan
Feels just like fall today, doesn't it?
Fall reminds me of football. College football. And Steve Spurrier's gonna be starting another exciting year coaching the Gamecocks. That's good news if you're a Carolina fan.
There's good news on two fronts for Clemson fans:
1) Spurrier's First Annual Tiger Thrashing Series doesn't start until November 25 - that's almost seven months away ... plenty of time to dump those season tickets on Ebay
2) Team-rowing, Badminton and Competitive Gardening are still wide open in the ACC
If you're a Clemson fan and read this after being asked not to:
Ok ... Smile Now and Have A Great Monday
Fall reminds me of football. College football. And Steve Spurrier's gonna be starting another exciting year coaching the Gamecocks. That's good news if you're a Carolina fan.
There's good news on two fronts for Clemson fans:
1) Spurrier's First Annual Tiger Thrashing Series doesn't start until November 25 - that's almost seven months away ... plenty of time to dump those season tickets on Ebay
2) Team-rowing, Badminton and Competitive Gardening are still wide open in the ACC
If you're a Clemson fan and read this after being asked not to:
Ok ... Smile Now and Have A Great Monday
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