How to Give Sadness the Boot

Maybe it's the dreariness outside that's causing so many people to feel sad today.

I wouldn't even mention it except to say that whenever I'm feeling down, blah, unfocused, blue or whatever, I've got two sure-fire solutions based on personal experience ... and both are Absolutely 100% Guaranteed to get you refocused and your mind completely off being sad.

The Blahs Fixer #1: Let's Help the Dog Go Outside
Sometimes Luke gets so enthralled by his favorite characters on Animal Planet that he forgets when it's time to go outside ... and it becomes necessary to gently coax him along, using the side of my foot to help steer him through the porch door. Then I slam the door very quickly behind him ... before he reverses direction and slips back inside.

The other day Luke had different plans. At the last millisecond he faked me out and dodged back inside just missing the rapidly approaching door ... which I proceeded to slam amazingly hard on my bare and unprotected foot. Almost instantly I forgot all about being sad, and spent the next three hours wondering whether I should try driving myself over to AnMed or just relax on the curb and flag down an ambulance.

What if you don't have a dog?

The Blahs Fixer #2: Company's Gonna Be Here In An Hour
Gather up as many loose clothes as you can find. Keep on adding sheets and towels, whether they're clean or not, until you've got a load about 50% larger than your washing machine's rated capacity. Bundle everything up in your arms, making sure the top of the stack is at least a foot higher than the top of your head.

Now, and this is the critical part ... run down the nearest flight of stairs as fast as you can. Don't worry about breaking anything internally, because the clothes are there to protect you. I typically do this one 3, sometimes 4 times a month and it never fails to satisfy.

[Hint: when you do your face-plant, which is the whole point of this exercise, if you don't start rolling around and gagging on the hallway floor because you've knocked the wind out of yourself it only means you're not trying hard enough ... and may need to start thinking about whether you actually enjoy feeing sad.]

So don't let the blahs keep getting you down ... get out there and attack that sadness with gusto!