The $160,000 Lunch - Feel Better Soon!

[Copied from an e-mail I received in this morning's In-Box; thanks Misty!]

Are you having a bad day? Consider this...

In a hospital ICU ward, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am regularly. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred about 11:00 am on Sunday, so a team of experts was assembled. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am, all the doctors and nurses nervously assembled outside the room. Some were holding crosses, Bibles, and other holy objects to ward off evil spirits. As the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part time janitor, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still having a bad day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the sea amid a crowd of cheering spectators. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate both of them.

Feeling better yet?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with a wire attached to him. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a 2x4 breaking his arm. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Still think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly 2000 pigs broke loose and stampeded through a broken fence. The two protesters were trampled to death.

You must be feeling better now! If not...one more:

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was a bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.

There, feeling better now?