Post Match Wrap-Up

A few minutes ago the USA lost convincingly to Ghana 2-1 and was eliminated from the FIFA World Cup.

Six Important Things Every American Should Know About Soccer:

1) The rest of the world calls soccer "football" but real football involves tackling, sacking and going deep with the bomb.

2) In real football the players don't wear short pants, or hold hands after scoring.

3) There are no penalties in soccer; they're called fouls, offenses or infringements. A sanction may cause a player to be "expelled from the field of play and its immediate surrounds."

Call me a sandwich short of a picnic, but I couldn't handle the sanction of getting expelled from the immediate surrounds for an infringement. Especially not if I was wearing short pants and another man was holding my hand at the same time.

4) The most sloppily dressed team usually wins.

5) In soccer, every time a team loses it's always blamed on either (a) the coach or (b) a controversial call from a Referee ... as though for 90 minutes the players had all they could do just running around chasing & pointing at the ball.

6) Soccer's fun to watch ... for about 4 minutes (if you include a Cadillac commercial). Then you start wishing a brawl would erupt and start spreading across the stands.

... just a few reasons why soccer's still a drag, and the USA's still #1.