Learn Small Boat Repair in Your Spare Time!

Based on my experiences, here's pretty much all you need to know about How to Work on Boats:

1. Before getting started on any job, step onboard and carefully organize all new parts to be installed, any new expensive specialized tools required for the job, and your car keys on the deck. Now step back, and kick them all over the side.

This saves aggravation later, from doing it accidentally.

2. When working with your upper body sweat-wedged deep inside a tight-fitting engine hatch, be certain to leave one foot dangling over the side, between the boat's hull and the dock.

The pain receptors in your foot will alert you to drop whatever small screw, last-of-its kind bolt or exotic washer you're holding, and brace yourself for any sudden wave action created by passing boats.

3. Always insist that the new wiring harness you just made, which looks like something a seasick rat would build from straw, duct tape and loose hair, was actually installed by the boat's previous owner.

Any subsequent "repair" work you do will seem like an improvement, by comparison.

4. Be outgoing and personable, always eager to interrupt what you're doing to "take a break" and make small talk for at least an hour with anyone walking by.

When you finally get back to work, you'll have completely forgotten what you were doing ... which you probably did incorrectly in the first place.

5. Always carefully measure three times before cutting any part of a boat with a Skil Saw.

You'll be more impressed than ever at your ability to zip through critical sructural members, like the keel, without realizing it.

6. Expensive, hard-to-replace personal items like prescription eyeglasses, Ipods or handheld VHF radios should always be loosely carried in an unbuttoned shirt pocket.

When they fall out and disappear into the bilge, you'll know exactly where to reach under water and find them.

7 (a). Never read installation manuals or trouble-shooting guides.

This confusing, troublesome literature is intended only for professional installers, who get paid $90 an hour to sit and read it.

7 (b). Only install the minimum number of parts included with replacement components (like pumps, ignition coils and battery chargers).

Dreadfully expensive items are over-engineered, and come with more parts than absolutely necessary for quick installation.

8. Understand that a boat can float and be 100% leak-free.

But not at the same time.

9. You can double your boat's value by simply doing all the work yourself.

If you spend four times what the boat originally cost.

10. You'll feel a new sense of accomplishment when all the work on your boat is finally completed.

But nothing like what you'll feel after selling it.