This morning in Anderson County around 9:51 AM if you happened to hear what sounded like a 200-pound goat screaming as though its horns were being re-shaped with a John Deere chipper you can relax ... that was just me trying to do some ironing.
I only needed about 4 seconds of ironing to learn:
1) The handle is the only part of an electric iron that doesn't get extremely hot ... and if your fingers go anywhere near the hot part your skin will stick to that part, and stay there
2) I do have a 50-inch vertical leap - it's amazing
3) I can pronouce words I don't recognize
4) I can dance. I can dance!
5) I really need to pay more attention around household items that bite
Glad to say I never said any bad words, not a single one ... maybe because I didn't know any that adequately expressed the incredible sensations my thumb began sharing with me. Now I've got a blister the size of Rhode Island and I'm scared to go near the iron, not even to unplug it or retrieve the pants (they probably didn't need ironing in the first place).
I've decided ironing is Bad Mojo ... and Real Men should have nothing to do with it.
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3 comments:
sorry about your thumb..i think the iron is out to get everyone...i've had MORE than my fair share of the 'iron'
I'll second that real men need to stay away from them. Diddy you Rock!
I'm wretched about touching stoves to see if they're hot, trying to flip bacon over with my fingers, and getting stuff caught in Vise Grips, too.
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