Somewhere in the middle? I'm not sure ... I guess

I'm looking forward to meeting Jesus.

Not to dying, obviously, but to coming face to face with the man whose love was so overwhelming and all-encompassing that he allowed himself to suffer horribly and be crucified ... knowing the entire time that billions of people would nonetheless sneer, reject him and suffer eternity separated from God.

I keep imagining what it must've been like for the disciples to have known Christ in the flesh. Was he really the way some movies depict him ... perpetually sad with the burden of our sins? Did his eyes always seem distant and focused on some faraway, incomprehensible truth?

Or was Jesus so much like us that even his own brothers, and some family members, thought he was crazy and initially failed to accept that he was the Messiah?

I wonder if Jesus ever told a joke or two during the long, dusty walks between cities or after a long day of healing and preaching to the masses. I've even wondered how Jesus decided what clothes to wear on what days or if he had a favorite food or snack.

I've also wondered if, being human, Jesus had at least some hint of doubt whether God would raise him from death following the crucifixion. I mean, if it had been me waiting in Gethsemane that night watching the guards coming with swords and torches ...

Just one of the traits I'm sure I'd see in Jesus more unlike anything I've seen among men would be his decisiveness. I simply can't accept that the Son of God was big on Maybe, I'm not sure, I changed my mind or Check back with me tomorrow.

And I don't mean just decisive about what scripture says or about preaching the gospel.

I believe the man Jesus Christ lived without uncertainty, was never mealy-mouthed, and anything but vague in every decision ... like who would be included in the twelve, what time he intended to arrive in Jerusalem and even what species of fish and type of bread would feed the five thousand.

Jesus was so decisive and knew what he was about because he had perfect faith ... the only kind of faith that empowered him to reject Satan and temptation, live a life completely free of sin and ultimately conquer death through his resurrection. Perfect faith in his father, the almighty God, and perfect faith in the plan God made for his life and our salvation.

Being decisive as followers of Christ surely grows from that kind of unqualified, absolute and committed faith in God.