When We Cherish And Respect Each Other -updated 12.24

Here's a caveat: Feel free to stop reading whenever you start disagreeing. It won't hurt my feelings.

There's one fundamental difference between men and women: Women want to be cherished, and Men want to be respected.

While the distinction may seem simple on its face, it's what's underneath that tends to cause problems when two people commit to live together as man and wife.

We live in a social climate that leaves us in a perpetual state of expectation ... when will I graduate, when will I find the right job, when will I find my perfect someone , when will I have kids ... all ultimately pointing to When will I have it all and find real happiness?

On our Journey To Happiness we think we need to lose the right amount of weight, get our hair done at the right place, wear the right clothes, have the right job and plan the right wedding ... yet the USA divorce rate has passed one out of every two marriages because getting everything just right is awfully darn hard.

We're used to Having It Our Way, in Every Way ... or else it's the highway. And disappointment or divorce drops us right back in the loop asking When?

I'm convinced three things are essential to marriage: each partner must set Self aside and focus on putting Christ first. Always and before everything else: No one ever stormed into divorce court shouting, "I shoulda listened to the advice column in Cosmo ... because Jesus and all that talk about patience and forgivenesss really messed up my life!"

The second is that a woman must only commit to a man who has earned her respect, while a man must only commit to a woman he would lay down his life for without hesitation.

If that sounds silly or melodramatic right now it might not seem so bad the day after a long night of fighting, name-calling and throwing breakables through the dining room. In fact, it's the search for those two essential affirmations that leads many married people into extramarital affairs.

Women should refrain from provoking, name-calling, moodiness, secrecy and threats. Men must never allow sarcasm, conceit, anger, secrecy, unilaterally making plans or emotional withdrawl to become tools for subordination or revenge.

Always treat each other as precious, valuable and irreplaceble ... especially when children are involved ... remembering that a thousand years from now whatever you were fighting about will hardly seem worthwhile.