-Hey, this is only here for wipin' a smile under your nose in time for Friday Night, ahead of the Labor Day Weekend ... :-) Love you guys ... and know what? We really don't have any problems after all.
No, I really got BAD problems. Like every time I take a shower, there's 20 gallons of water rushing out from the bottom of my night stand ... and absolutely no idea what's going on.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Big Friday Hook Up
With the inverter's battery cables run through the 1-inch holes drilled through the head (bathroom) cabinet, this morning came time to mount the 70-pound unit in its new home.
The inverter (above) creates 2000 watts of pure sine wave 110-volt AC from a bank of 12-volt golf cart batteries. So I can watch TV, charge the laptop, use the microwave and other conveniences while anchored out, without having to waste fuel by using Calypso's diesel generator (if the genset actually worked, I mean).
The tools practically start jumping up and barking every time they see the coffee cup in my hand, because that means I'm about to release the hounds on a new project.
Here's where the inverter's gotta go (note red & black battery cables previously installed in background). I measured often and carefully, so I've go no doubts everything's gonna fit and fall into place. No problem.
First, the DC cables gotta be bolted to the inverter (the cables aren't yet hooked to the batteries, so they aren't "live").
A little heavy lifting ... and we're underway. Nothing to it so far.
Uh oh Portman, we have a problem. The shelf over the cabinet is keeping me from rotating the inverter into place, with the bottom side down, and creating a critical What-Do-We-Do-Now? wedgey. Suddenly the situation looks dicey indeed.
A little wiggling and some creative carpentry finally moved the shelf outta the way (the best thing about a hammer is it doesn't require batteries and never needs recharging).
Success! Now with that chore finished I'm almost done ... if completing the first 5% of the installation counts for anything.
The inverter (above) creates 2000 watts of pure sine wave 110-volt AC from a bank of 12-volt golf cart batteries. So I can watch TV, charge the laptop, use the microwave and other conveniences while anchored out, without having to waste fuel by using Calypso's diesel generator (if the genset actually worked, I mean).
The tools practically start jumping up and barking every time they see the coffee cup in my hand, because that means I'm about to release the hounds on a new project.
Here's where the inverter's gotta go (note red & black battery cables previously installed in background). I measured often and carefully, so I've go no doubts everything's gonna fit and fall into place. No problem.
First, the DC cables gotta be bolted to the inverter (the cables aren't yet hooked to the batteries, so they aren't "live").
A little heavy lifting ... and we're underway. Nothing to it so far.
Uh oh Portman, we have a problem. The shelf over the cabinet is keeping me from rotating the inverter into place, with the bottom side down, and creating a critical What-Do-We-Do-Now? wedgey. Suddenly the situation looks dicey indeed.
A little wiggling and some creative carpentry finally moved the shelf outta the way (the best thing about a hammer is it doesn't require batteries and never needs recharging).
Success! Now with that chore finished I'm almost done ... if completing the first 5% of the installation counts for anything.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Upstairs, Part II
The staircase to the second floor seemed too narrow for two people to ascend side-by-side; presumably the Onion's working girls proceeded ahead of their patrons, winsomely leading them up the bare wood steps worn so deeply with use it seemed my boots might sink through the other side.
At the top, the landing leading to the individual rooms felt even more narrow than the stairs. Nothing in its seclusive interior appeared to have been changed or "updated" in the 90 years since The Onion's red-light heyday: the only thing missing from the last century were the echoes of piano music and the din of bawdy patrons swelling from the shell of the tired saloon downstairs.
That, and the dissociated patter of bleary-eyed girls more concerned with depositing cash in their tills than with the tasks about to be performed for the uncounted time that night.
-----
Aspen had become boom town by the mid-1880s, attracting thousands of wide-eyed dreamers and prospectors from around the globe, unmarried men and drifters emboldened with dreams of "striking it rich" by subtracting their share from the deep veins of the Mother Lode.
Shaft mining was (and still is) a treacherous, unforgiving way to earn a living, especially for the men who'd surrendered to the economic realities of wildcat prospecting and handed themselves over as menials to break rocks with picks at the end of mile-long tunnels buried thousands of feet underground for the benefit of owners whose profits sometimes seemed more staggering and imposing than the mountains themselves.
Odd assortments of physical artifacts and relics pointing back to the miners' toils, Victorian-era curiosities like rusted lanterns, shovels, stoves, ore carts and loose sticks of dynamite are still found in the original shafts: when the mines closed, cleaning up after themselves hardly seemed financially lucrative or worthwhile. The innominate remains of scores of miners are there too, luckless men who suddenly found themselves trapped beyond reach either by cave-ins, entombed where they fell to explosions, or otherwise fell victim to routine calamities like asphyxiation, floods, or being crushed and ripped apart by machines.
In 1893 President Grover Cleveland repealed the Sherman Silver Purchase Act, effectively kicking the legs out from under silver's value. All but worthless, silver's price plummeted overnight and within weeks dozens of mines (and bordellos) closed forever, forcing thousands of unemployed miners and hundreds of working girls into the streets ... with few options for the future and no direction to follow, beyond the one their boots were already pointing.
-----
What surprised me was that the tiny rooms upstairs where the ladies entertained still had furniture left over from the day. I remember what appeared to be original Victorian-pattern wall paper clinging to the grimy, stain-smeared walls and the gas light fixtures suspended overhead. How many other men had stood in that same spot, glanced around the room and seen the same things I was seeing now?
All that separated me from that day and a familiarity with the players' names, their faces and the deeds they'd performed was the unforgiving, inviolate rush of time. The air itself felt as though the last participants had merely excused themselves and stepped from the room momentarily, rather than endure my interruption, and might return at any second to resolve whatever unconsummated business they'd left behind.
As my flashlight played across the walls to the ceiling and picked out details a hundred years after the fact, I couldn't help sensing another conceit remained, something imparted and deeply soaked into the setting ... a glimmer of moments of lives uncollected, precious seconds cached and still unclaimed between shadows.
-----
What shocked me about the rooms wasn't the museum-caliber preservation, but that the rooms upstairs were so physically small, hardly larger than walk-in closets, and nothing at all like what I'd expected.
But then spaciousness and luxury weren't priorities for desperate, lonely men whose lives were spent trading blood for their dreams in gelid caverns so far underground.
-----
Should I have felt like a voyeur, an intruder standing in the uninvited middle of a performance leftover from last century as I gaped and wondered how many fortunes had changed hands, how many thousands of illicit couplings had occurred, and who'd been the last to trudge upstairs to those rooms?
The stage was still set and the props remained undisturbed and in place: nothing I could see had changed in almost 100 years since the last story had played. Nothing at all ... except that the names, faces and lives of the players had all been either rewritten, forgotten or finally lost forever in the embrace of time.
At the top, the landing leading to the individual rooms felt even more narrow than the stairs. Nothing in its seclusive interior appeared to have been changed or "updated" in the 90 years since The Onion's red-light heyday: the only thing missing from the last century were the echoes of piano music and the din of bawdy patrons swelling from the shell of the tired saloon downstairs.
That, and the dissociated patter of bleary-eyed girls more concerned with depositing cash in their tills than with the tasks about to be performed for the uncounted time that night.
-----
Aspen had become boom town by the mid-1880s, attracting thousands of wide-eyed dreamers and prospectors from around the globe, unmarried men and drifters emboldened with dreams of "striking it rich" by subtracting their share from the deep veins of the Mother Lode.
Shaft mining was (and still is) a treacherous, unforgiving way to earn a living, especially for the men who'd surrendered to the economic realities of wildcat prospecting and handed themselves over as menials to break rocks with picks at the end of mile-long tunnels buried thousands of feet underground for the benefit of owners whose profits sometimes seemed more staggering and imposing than the mountains themselves.
Odd assortments of physical artifacts and relics pointing back to the miners' toils, Victorian-era curiosities like rusted lanterns, shovels, stoves, ore carts and loose sticks of dynamite are still found in the original shafts: when the mines closed, cleaning up after themselves hardly seemed financially lucrative or worthwhile. The innominate remains of scores of miners are there too, luckless men who suddenly found themselves trapped beyond reach either by cave-ins, entombed where they fell to explosions, or otherwise fell victim to routine calamities like asphyxiation, floods, or being crushed and ripped apart by machines.
In 1893 President Grover Cleveland repealed the Sherman Silver Purchase Act, effectively kicking the legs out from under silver's value. All but worthless, silver's price plummeted overnight and within weeks dozens of mines (and bordellos) closed forever, forcing thousands of unemployed miners and hundreds of working girls into the streets ... with few options for the future and no direction to follow, beyond the one their boots were already pointing.
-----
What surprised me was that the tiny rooms upstairs where the ladies entertained still had furniture left over from the day. I remember what appeared to be original Victorian-pattern wall paper clinging to the grimy, stain-smeared walls and the gas light fixtures suspended overhead. How many other men had stood in that same spot, glanced around the room and seen the same things I was seeing now?
All that separated me from that day and a familiarity with the players' names, their faces and the deeds they'd performed was the unforgiving, inviolate rush of time. The air itself felt as though the last participants had merely excused themselves and stepped from the room momentarily, rather than endure my interruption, and might return at any second to resolve whatever unconsummated business they'd left behind.
As my flashlight played across the walls to the ceiling and picked out details a hundred years after the fact, I couldn't help sensing another conceit remained, something imparted and deeply soaked into the setting ... a glimmer of moments of lives uncollected, precious seconds cached and still unclaimed between shadows.
-----
What shocked me about the rooms wasn't the museum-caliber preservation, but that the rooms upstairs were so physically small, hardly larger than walk-in closets, and nothing at all like what I'd expected.
But then spaciousness and luxury weren't priorities for desperate, lonely men whose lives were spent trading blood for their dreams in gelid caverns so far underground.
-----
Should I have felt like a voyeur, an intruder standing in the uninvited middle of a performance leftover from last century as I gaped and wondered how many fortunes had changed hands, how many thousands of illicit couplings had occurred, and who'd been the last to trudge upstairs to those rooms?
The stage was still set and the props remained undisturbed and in place: nothing I could see had changed in almost 100 years since the last story had played. Nothing at all ... except that the names, faces and lives of the players had all been either rewritten, forgotten or finally lost forever in the embrace of time.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Upstairs, Inside The Onion After Hours
The Red Onion is a restaurant on the Cooper Street Mall in Aspen, Colorado. Originally built in the 1890s, the downstairs' most prominent feature is a long wooden bar, which goes a long way toward explaining The Onion's authentic look and feel of an old mining-town saloon.Back when I lived in Aspen, ownership changed hands often which, given the seasonal economic considerations of doing business in a resort town, translated to the reality that The Onion was very seldom (if ever) open for business ... and so sat neglected on its haunches behind the thin cover of newly-planted decorative trees, perhaps entertaining itself with recollections of a more ah, colorful past.
Back in the day, The Red Onion wasn't originally built to be a restaurant but a mining town bordello, with a saloon serving drinks downstairs to loosen-up patrons before its "painted ladies" escorted their marks upstairs for a few raucous moments of expensive diversion and sensual entertainment.
Apart from depictions in movies, there's not much left of the original Old West saloons around any more, and the one time I was fortunate to take a deep breath and venture up the stairs, The Red Onion was still full of itself ... and reeked its identity as the genuine thing.-----
No no no, don't start jumping to conclusions or get the wrong idea: I worked graveyard as a security guard back then, the empty Red Onion was a client, and one night another guard somehow secured a key to the front door and with our flashlights, the two of us dared venture inside.
Despite numerous renovations and "improvements" (like plumbing and electricity) through the years, with the electric power disconnected and the only illumination coming from our flashlights, it was easy to belly up to the century-old bar and imagine that a hundred years' time had never passed.
That night I felt as close to traveling back in time as I'd ever get. Staring back at the reflection of myself in the dim mirror behind the outrageously long bar, I had little trouble imagining myself belonging to a moment that had passed five generations before I was born.
Sure, The Onion had been open under various guises to the public off-and-on since its first life as a bordello had expired, but the second floor had always remained strictly off-limits, and all that 99.9999% of people knew consisted of what they could see from street level outside ... or of what they imagined the upstairs had been like in busier times.
So when Pat, the guard with the key, jerked his flashlight toward the narrow wood stairs I had little hesitation about finding out first-hand what The Onion had been all about. We were going to pay a visit to upstairs, inside a real Old West house of ill repute ...
So when's opening night again?
"One day I'll start trying to live a more Christ-filled life but in the meantime, I've got obligations and prior commitments demanding too much of my time and attention. But I'll get around to rehearsing my part soon as I can."
-memo to self:
The curtain's already up and there are no more rehearsals, postponements or sick calls, nor is there a stand-in or understudy for your role ... a part which continues uninterrupted and without intermission till the curtain falls on Closing Night. Check original author's script as often as necessary for additional clarification, as required.
-memo to self:
The curtain's already up and there are no more rehearsals, postponements or sick calls, nor is there a stand-in or understudy for your role ... a part which continues uninterrupted and without intermission till the curtain falls on Closing Night. Check original author's script as often as necessary for additional clarification, as required.
Come on, come on hurry up! Let's speed things up a little bit!
"Woe to those who draw sin along with cords of deceit,
and wickedness as with cart ropes,
and wickedness as with cart ropes,
to those who say, 'Let God hurry,
let him hasten his work
so we may see it.
Let it approach,
let the plan of the Holy One of Israel come,
so we may know it.'
Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter."
The keepers of the gates
I'm a member of a church that sure gets criticized an awful lot. Most of what I've heard the past 3 years goes beyond simple gossip and meanness, to the point where some critics doubt whether we're all actually on the same team.
Our church gets so many rotten eggs hurled in its direction not because there's a dozen or so of us out in the woods somewhere chanting, worshiping calves or waiting for UFOs, wearing snakes or drinking poison every Sunday morning. Nor does our church get vilified because it's occupied the same red-brick-and-a-steeple building (and had exactly the same members) for the past 80 years, or because it plays traditional 200 year old hymns at "reverent" volume through a pipe organ that cost more than a new aircraft carrier.
If any of those situations was the case, I feel pretty sure the critics would look the other way, find something else to distract them from preaching the gospel and leave us alone. So then what is it that keeps the critics so riled-up and firing brimstone arrows every chance they get?
Could it be because there's finally a church impacting an entire community for Christ ... and the critics-in-the-pulpits are tired of trying to figure out how to answer, "Preacher, how do you explain what's happening over there?"
Their problem is that they can't explain something they've never seen or expected before ... so criticizing someone else is the best they can do.
------
Someone with four lifetimes more vision and wisdom than me pointed out that Jesus wasn't crucified by the tax collectors, lepers, adulterers, prostitutes and sinners. Christ was crucified by the religious leaders and teachers of his time, who were already convinced in their own minds (probably by serving on committees) exactly what the Messiah was gonna be like ... and in their religious, tradition-loving eyes Jesus just wasn't it and didn't preach the message they way they wanted to hear it nor did he reach people by teaching the same way they'd taught themselves to teach.
Christ's message of forgiveness and salvation through grace, not through man-made rules and procedures, turned their scrolls inside out and shook the foundations of the priest-privileges and luxuries they enjoyed.
They'd become idolaters by centering their focus upon themselves, worshiping their man-made rituals and traditions as though their rules were greater than God, and became so removed from God that they failed to recognize the message of the living God when he was standing in plain view before them.
Christ took the legalistic guess-work out of salvation, and his critics couldn't stand to hear it ... nor let him get away with preaching it.
-----
I've been to churches where I didn't feel welcomed. I've sat on hard-backed pews in congregations where every holier-than-thou head seemed turned in my direction with mistrust, as if trying to figure out, "What's that guy doing here?" and then went out of their way to avoid me once the service had ended.
Nobody took much interest in finding out why I was there ... so long as I didn't put my hands in my pockets after the offering plate went by.
You get a definite feeling that if someone ever stood before a congregation like that and asked them, "Do you people go out of your way to insist on keeping sinners on the other side of that door and away from God's kingdom, or not?" you'd expect to get a thunderously overwhelming "YES!" of approval.
Probably a choir-full of Amen's, too ... though what you wouldn't get would be any clapping or arms lifted toward Heaven.
Now I wonder if the same congregation would answer the same question the same way with the same jubilation and enthusiam ... if it was Jesus Christ standing there who did the asking.
Our church gets so many rotten eggs hurled in its direction not because there's a dozen or so of us out in the woods somewhere chanting, worshiping calves or waiting for UFOs, wearing snakes or drinking poison every Sunday morning. Nor does our church get vilified because it's occupied the same red-brick-and-a-steeple building (and had exactly the same members) for the past 80 years, or because it plays traditional 200 year old hymns at "reverent" volume through a pipe organ that cost more than a new aircraft carrier.
If any of those situations was the case, I feel pretty sure the critics would look the other way, find something else to distract them from preaching the gospel and leave us alone. So then what is it that keeps the critics so riled-up and firing brimstone arrows every chance they get?
Could it be because there's finally a church impacting an entire community for Christ ... and the critics-in-the-pulpits are tired of trying to figure out how to answer, "Preacher, how do you explain what's happening over there?"
Their problem is that they can't explain something they've never seen or expected before ... so criticizing someone else is the best they can do.
------
Someone with four lifetimes more vision and wisdom than me pointed out that Jesus wasn't crucified by the tax collectors, lepers, adulterers, prostitutes and sinners. Christ was crucified by the religious leaders and teachers of his time, who were already convinced in their own minds (probably by serving on committees) exactly what the Messiah was gonna be like ... and in their religious, tradition-loving eyes Jesus just wasn't it and didn't preach the message they way they wanted to hear it nor did he reach people by teaching the same way they'd taught themselves to teach.
Christ's message of forgiveness and salvation through grace, not through man-made rules and procedures, turned their scrolls inside out and shook the foundations of the priest-privileges and luxuries they enjoyed.
They'd become idolaters by centering their focus upon themselves, worshiping their man-made rituals and traditions as though their rules were greater than God, and became so removed from God that they failed to recognize the message of the living God when he was standing in plain view before them.
Christ took the legalistic guess-work out of salvation, and his critics couldn't stand to hear it ... nor let him get away with preaching it.
-----
I've been to churches where I didn't feel welcomed. I've sat on hard-backed pews in congregations where every holier-than-thou head seemed turned in my direction with mistrust, as if trying to figure out, "What's that guy doing here?" and then went out of their way to avoid me once the service had ended.
Nobody took much interest in finding out why I was there ... so long as I didn't put my hands in my pockets after the offering plate went by.
You get a definite feeling that if someone ever stood before a congregation like that and asked them, "Do you people go out of your way to insist on keeping sinners on the other side of that door and away from God's kingdom, or not?" you'd expect to get a thunderously overwhelming "YES!" of approval.
Probably a choir-full of Amen's, too ... though what you wouldn't get would be any clapping or arms lifted toward Heaven.
Now I wonder if the same congregation would answer the same question the same way with the same jubilation and enthusiam ... if it was Jesus Christ standing there who did the asking.
Highly Unusual
I'm not up at 12:21AM, I'm still up at 12:21AM. Must be insomnia, because I hardly ever have trouble falling asleep.
Here's the last verse I read a little while ago, before turning out the lights:
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."
Mark 8:36-28 (NIV)
Here's the last verse I read a little while ago, before turning out the lights:
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."
Mark 8:36-28 (NIV)
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."
-Colossians 2:8
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship is a farce,
for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.'"
-Mark 7:7
"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
- Revelation 3:22
-Colossians 2:8
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship is a farce,
for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.'"
-Mark 7:7
"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
- Revelation 3:22
Monday, August 27, 2007
Can't you hear the wind howl
Shoot, I dunno the difference between an icon and a gravatar, but this is my gravatar, for no good reason except that I like it.
The "Little Lie" Lie
Earlier this year I wrote a post mentioning that in our 16-year friendship, B and I have never once had a fight, argument, falling-out or anything even like it. I asked her about that the next time we talked, and after thinking a moment she confirmed Yes, after knowing each other for half of her entire life there's not been a single time either of us snapped back or recoiled in anger, slammed down the phone, administered the silent treatment ... or even raised a voice in the other person's direction.
B and I have been friends through both of our (separate) romantic episodes. Before she got engaged we met for lunch often, had dinner and were alone together occasionally. But even when we were both "unattached and available" there still wasn't one inappropriate word or innuendo to pass between us, not one "little slip-up" or a "Except for that one time" moment in our 16-year history. Nothing ever happened that even comes close.
Since meeting her, knowing and having B as a friend has been too important to risk losing, but there had to be something else that explained how two adults of opposite genders could remain friends for 16 years, without fighting (or disrepecting each other) a single time.
Just took me a long time to figure out what it might be.
-----
The other day a friend was telling me about some issues he's facing in a romantic relationship with a girl he's been seeing off-and-on for several years. The problem comes down to trust because, from what he told me, she's gotten into the habit of "fudging" the truth a little bit ... especially in situations when lying doesn't even seem worth the trouble.
Little stuff, like where she's going, which girlfriends she's hanging out with, and what time she got home from visiting her folks. Then when confronted with "the evidence," her explanation is usually,"I didn't think it mattered." Which then leads him to ask, "Then why lie instead of just telling the truth ... unless there's something you're hiding?"
Which often leads to a fight, because she just doesn't see the situation the same way.
-----
Who are you most likely to tell a lie ... your best friend, or your worst enemy? Are you more likely to lie to someone you cherish, respect and hold close, or to someone you despise, disrepect and don't mind pushing away? Which lie hurts you the most ... the one you're told by a friend, or the one you're told by an enemy? But isn't a Lie always a Lie? Every lie carries the same deceptive intention, along with a willingness to disregard and hurt the person standing in its direction.
Not even your worst enemy appreciates being told a lie; they already hate you and expect you to lie. So why lie to a friend in the first place, and merely confirm the worst things your enemies (and former friends) already know?
Telling lies is another way of saying, "You're too stupid to see nothing's more important in my world than me." Telling a lie is the same as shouting into someone's face, "YOU SUCK!"
Why is is that liars can't see that every lie starts with the two lies they tell to themselves: "He/she's too stupid to catch on, so I can get away with it" and "There's a good reason to lie." But it's the liar who never catches on, because a habitual liar is so deceived that they actually believe their own lies ... starting with those first two lies inside their head, the ones they're convinced no one else can possibly know or hear or see being acted out every day in their lives and relationships.
-----
But the girl in my friend's situation doesn't interpret what she's saying as Lying, or see that what she's doing is dishonest, because she "only does it to keep him from getting mad." She keeps missing the point that Lying is what "makes him mad," and Lying has the side effect of creating suspicion and commitment-killing mistrust as well.
Because if he can't trust her to tell the truth about little insignificant stuff, then how can he possibly trust her to tell the truth when it comes to the big important stuff in a relationship? Sounds like she also hasn't noticed that by the time telling "little white lies" starts to seem so easy, Lying has gone way past being a habit and is showing other people Lying and deception is your way of life.
So take a wild guess what the most-likely person willing to become romantically involved with a Liar is gonna be?
Hmm, that one wasn't as hard figuring out as it seemed.
-----
After describing several of his previous relationships through the years, my friend turned and asked, "Has there been one woman in your life, a woman who, so far as it's possible for you to know, has never once bent the truth or told you a lie?
"Outside of a casual acquaintance, name one woman who's never lied, and then tried to explain it was because she either changed her mind, or lied and argued it's no big deal or it just wasn't important, or lied to keep from hurting your feelings, or lied because she found something else she wanted to do that night, or made plans with you and then didn't follow through, or told you she'd call you and didn't, or been dating someone behind your back and explained "Oh, he's just a friend"?
Gosh, I'm so used to hearing those things so often by now that I'd forgotten they really are outright deceptions and Lies after all. I felt an uneasy hollowness reach out from my heart as I skimmed through the ragged chapters of former liaisons, girlfriends, relationship fiascoes, bad breakups and disastrous friendships.
It started looking like my friend was right, because they all shared the same recurring theme: Why does telling the truth seem so hard and too much to expect, when there's no reason to lie in the first place? Don't I deserve to be treated better than that?
-----
Finally I glanced back up and told him my answer. "B's never lied to me."
My friend's mouth literally fell open. He looked shocked, really stunned, and he was firm about demanding to know if I'd stand by that statement ... even if someone held a gun to my head.
"Yeah, I would" ... and that's telling the truth, too.
See, I knew there had to be something that explained how B and I could be friends for 16 years without fighting, screaming, arguing or falling-out a single time: She's never once lied to me ... and I feel pretty sure her unwavering honesty during all that time goes a long way toward explaining the bond and total trust at the core of our friendship.
B and I have been friends through both of our (separate) romantic episodes. Before she got engaged we met for lunch often, had dinner and were alone together occasionally. But even when we were both "unattached and available" there still wasn't one inappropriate word or innuendo to pass between us, not one "little slip-up" or a "Except for that one time" moment in our 16-year history. Nothing ever happened that even comes close.
Since meeting her, knowing and having B as a friend has been too important to risk losing, but there had to be something else that explained how two adults of opposite genders could remain friends for 16 years, without fighting (or disrepecting each other) a single time.
Just took me a long time to figure out what it might be.
-----
The other day a friend was telling me about some issues he's facing in a romantic relationship with a girl he's been seeing off-and-on for several years. The problem comes down to trust because, from what he told me, she's gotten into the habit of "fudging" the truth a little bit ... especially in situations when lying doesn't even seem worth the trouble.
Little stuff, like where she's going, which girlfriends she's hanging out with, and what time she got home from visiting her folks. Then when confronted with "the evidence," her explanation is usually,"I didn't think it mattered." Which then leads him to ask, "Then why lie instead of just telling the truth ... unless there's something you're hiding?"
Which often leads to a fight, because she just doesn't see the situation the same way.
-----
Who are you most likely to tell a lie ... your best friend, or your worst enemy? Are you more likely to lie to someone you cherish, respect and hold close, or to someone you despise, disrepect and don't mind pushing away? Which lie hurts you the most ... the one you're told by a friend, or the one you're told by an enemy? But isn't a Lie always a Lie? Every lie carries the same deceptive intention, along with a willingness to disregard and hurt the person standing in its direction.
Not even your worst enemy appreciates being told a lie; they already hate you and expect you to lie. So why lie to a friend in the first place, and merely confirm the worst things your enemies (and former friends) already know?
Telling lies is another way of saying, "You're too stupid to see nothing's more important in my world than me." Telling a lie is the same as shouting into someone's face, "YOU SUCK!"
Why is is that liars can't see that every lie starts with the two lies they tell to themselves: "He/she's too stupid to catch on, so I can get away with it" and "There's a good reason to lie." But it's the liar who never catches on, because a habitual liar is so deceived that they actually believe their own lies ... starting with those first two lies inside their head, the ones they're convinced no one else can possibly know or hear or see being acted out every day in their lives and relationships.
-----
But the girl in my friend's situation doesn't interpret what she's saying as Lying, or see that what she's doing is dishonest, because she "only does it to keep him from getting mad." She keeps missing the point that Lying is what "makes him mad," and Lying has the side effect of creating suspicion and commitment-killing mistrust as well.
Because if he can't trust her to tell the truth about little insignificant stuff, then how can he possibly trust her to tell the truth when it comes to the big important stuff in a relationship? Sounds like she also hasn't noticed that by the time telling "little white lies" starts to seem so easy, Lying has gone way past being a habit and is showing other people Lying and deception is your way of life.
So take a wild guess what the most-likely person willing to become romantically involved with a Liar is gonna be?
Hmm, that one wasn't as hard figuring out as it seemed.
-----
After describing several of his previous relationships through the years, my friend turned and asked, "Has there been one woman in your life, a woman who, so far as it's possible for you to know, has never once bent the truth or told you a lie?
"Outside of a casual acquaintance, name one woman who's never lied, and then tried to explain it was because she either changed her mind, or lied and argued it's no big deal or it just wasn't important, or lied to keep from hurting your feelings, or lied because she found something else she wanted to do that night, or made plans with you and then didn't follow through, or told you she'd call you and didn't, or been dating someone behind your back and explained "Oh, he's just a friend"?
Gosh, I'm so used to hearing those things so often by now that I'd forgotten they really are outright deceptions and Lies after all. I felt an uneasy hollowness reach out from my heart as I skimmed through the ragged chapters of former liaisons, girlfriends, relationship fiascoes, bad breakups and disastrous friendships.
It started looking like my friend was right, because they all shared the same recurring theme: Why does telling the truth seem so hard and too much to expect, when there's no reason to lie in the first place? Don't I deserve to be treated better than that?
-----
Finally I glanced back up and told him my answer. "B's never lied to me."
My friend's mouth literally fell open. He looked shocked, really stunned, and he was firm about demanding to know if I'd stand by that statement ... even if someone held a gun to my head.
"Yeah, I would" ... and that's telling the truth, too.
See, I knew there had to be something that explained how B and I could be friends for 16 years without fighting, screaming, arguing or falling-out a single time: She's never once lied to me ... and I feel pretty sure her unwavering honesty during all that time goes a long way toward explaining the bond and total trust at the core of our friendship.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Blog Wars
-from The Technological Nonsense Department
Those of you living in The Upstate who thought you heard thunder this afternoon may have sighed, "Great, it's raining ... just in time to ruin what's left of my weekend."
Well, what you witnessed wasn't a weather phenomenon at all: the thunder you heard was actually a horrific crash resulting from the collision of the two most pervasive forces in The Digital Empire, namely The Blue Book waging an unrestricted Blog War versus AVCLUB.
How could there possibly be a winner in such a cunning, Anything Goes, No Holds Barred, Lights Out Steel Cage Texas Death Match Loser-Must-Leave-Town exchange of digital mega-force? Is there any way to sift through the hot hard-disk ashes and charred web cinders, to know with certainty which side won?
Oh sure, AVCLUB's got its own stylized Death Star, but here at The Blue Book an Old Favorite is still The Best Favorite ... and "This is not the pirate you're looking for" works every time.
Just ask my new pal, Captain Calypso:
Ok here's what really happened: I crawled into Ken's office whining like a scalded three-legged cat, but before I could start begging and sobbing he generously offered me this awesome gift.
Thanks Ken!
Those of you living in The Upstate who thought you heard thunder this afternoon may have sighed, "Great, it's raining ... just in time to ruin what's left of my weekend."
Well, what you witnessed wasn't a weather phenomenon at all: the thunder you heard was actually a horrific crash resulting from the collision of the two most pervasive forces in The Digital Empire, namely The Blue Book waging an unrestricted Blog War versus AVCLUB.
How could there possibly be a winner in such a cunning, Anything Goes, No Holds Barred, Lights Out Steel Cage Texas Death Match Loser-Must-Leave-Town exchange of digital mega-force? Is there any way to sift through the hot hard-disk ashes and charred web cinders, to know with certainty which side won?
Oh sure, AVCLUB's got its own stylized Death Star, but here at The Blue Book an Old Favorite is still The Best Favorite ... and "This is not the pirate you're looking for" works every time.
Just ask my new pal, Captain Calypso:
Ok here's what really happened: I crawled into Ken's office whining like a scalded three-legged cat, but before I could start begging and sobbing he generously offered me this awesome gift.
Thanks Ken!
Got my origami on!
Dropped by AVCLUB's central headquarters this morning, and Ken took time to show me this origami pirate. Wow, it's really amazing to see all the fine details up close in real life 3D space/time:
Is that kewl? Arrrg yeah, and from now on I want him riding beside me in Calypso's helm every time I untie from the dock.
Is it really origami? I dunno, but ask this bad boy and watch what he says (he's got a hinged jaw that opens & closes). Oh heck yeah.
ps. Ken also convinced me to consider something like this:
A kitten tattoo? What is it about a kitten tattoo?
Is that kewl? Arrrg yeah, and from now on I want him riding beside me in Calypso's helm every time I untie from the dock.Is it really origami? I dunno, but ask this bad boy and watch what he says (he's got a hinged jaw that opens & closes). Oh heck yeah.
ps. Ken also convinced me to consider something like this:
A kitten tattoo? What is it about a kitten tattoo?
When waiting counts
The past five months I've been thinking about taking a rifle with me to TZ.
It's perfectly OK (with the right permits) so legality's not the issue; the question has more to do with considerations like (a) Which one could I afford to lose, or have stolen? (b) Will ammunition be available once I'm there? and (c) Which one is powerful enough (because there's things over there that bite real hard and aren't choosy about counting their calories either), without always being "over-gunned."
I've only got one rifle that fits all three criteria, so clearly that must be the "right" choice, right? Well, no. A rifle (particularly one intended for dangerous game) is more than just pieces of metal and wood held together with screws.
A mass-produced, off-the shelf generic one-size-fits-all rifle might fit and "feel right" for most guys and seem like the best choice, but it won't "feel right" for me if it doesn't fit, or if I have the slightest doubt about its quality or its dependability.
The choice becomes more complex remembering that my life, literally, could depend on making the right choice the very first time.
It's futile to expect uniqueness, personality or attractiveness from anything that's easily available or negotiable for a discount. The romance, mystery and intrigue just won't be there, ever, because its only value lies in using it until something better comes along.
A new rifle that arrives looking like it's already spent years being banged around in the back of a safari truck's just not worth keeping for the long haul.
-----
See, I expect us to be together through thick and thin for a long, long time and every time I steal a glance at or pick up my little rifle I wanna hear myself thinking, "Wow, it's not just that you're gorgeous, timelessly stylish and more finely assembled than a handmade Swiss timepiece.
"It's also that you've been designed with one purpose, that you're powerful, utterly capable, reliable and and totally dependable in the stickiest situations. You aren't just the right choice, you're the only choice ... and I'm confident if we're ever out on our own and things start getting hinky, so long as I do my part I can depend on you to do your part ... and together we'll keep our grass outta the fire and have a life-time of adventures together.
"It just feels good knowing you're here and there's not a day that goes by that I don't appreciate you even more. I've never had any doubt that you are the best choice I coulda possibly made. You've never showed me otherwise, and it was totally worth waiting to find you.
"That's just a few reasons why I'm glad you're here ... and I know by tomorrow I'll see even more."
OK, if talking to a rifle sounds weird, then imagine I was talking to a woman instead.
-----
Here's a fact: it's nothing for a man (or woman) to agonize over which rifle to choose from all the available choices and options, then wait six years for delivery of the "Best Royal Grade Rifle" custom-made to fit him or her in every way.
Waiting six years for a rifle seems worth it when that's what we've been looking for, know that's exactly what we want, and that anything less will never do.
But then other times people can't wait five minutes before jumping into bed with a new partner, or think nothing of diving into the first or most convenient relationship that drops into their laps ... because when it comes to waiting and making critical decisions that will affect and impact every facet of their lives forever, expecting folks to Wait for the One Custom-made to Fit in Every Way is asking too much, and they'll reach for whatever's still left on the shelf.
Heck they might even think it sounds stupid hearing that their lives will be impacted forever (think heart ache, or charging elephants) by jumping the gun early and making a mistake.
That's what sounds weird to me.
It's perfectly OK (with the right permits) so legality's not the issue; the question has more to do with considerations like (a) Which one could I afford to lose, or have stolen? (b) Will ammunition be available once I'm there? and (c) Which one is powerful enough (because there's things over there that bite real hard and aren't choosy about counting their calories either), without always being "over-gunned."
I've only got one rifle that fits all three criteria, so clearly that must be the "right" choice, right? Well, no. A rifle (particularly one intended for dangerous game) is more than just pieces of metal and wood held together with screws.
A mass-produced, off-the shelf generic one-size-fits-all rifle might fit and "feel right" for most guys and seem like the best choice, but it won't "feel right" for me if it doesn't fit, or if I have the slightest doubt about its quality or its dependability.
The choice becomes more complex remembering that my life, literally, could depend on making the right choice the very first time.
It's futile to expect uniqueness, personality or attractiveness from anything that's easily available or negotiable for a discount. The romance, mystery and intrigue just won't be there, ever, because its only value lies in using it until something better comes along.
A new rifle that arrives looking like it's already spent years being banged around in the back of a safari truck's just not worth keeping for the long haul.
-----
See, I expect us to be together through thick and thin for a long, long time and every time I steal a glance at or pick up my little rifle I wanna hear myself thinking, "Wow, it's not just that you're gorgeous, timelessly stylish and more finely assembled than a handmade Swiss timepiece.
"It's also that you've been designed with one purpose, that you're powerful, utterly capable, reliable and and totally dependable in the stickiest situations. You aren't just the right choice, you're the only choice ... and I'm confident if we're ever out on our own and things start getting hinky, so long as I do my part I can depend on you to do your part ... and together we'll keep our grass outta the fire and have a life-time of adventures together.
"It just feels good knowing you're here and there's not a day that goes by that I don't appreciate you even more. I've never had any doubt that you are the best choice I coulda possibly made. You've never showed me otherwise, and it was totally worth waiting to find you."That's just a few reasons why I'm glad you're here ... and I know by tomorrow I'll see even more."
OK, if talking to a rifle sounds weird, then imagine I was talking to a woman instead.
-----
Here's a fact: it's nothing for a man (or woman) to agonize over which rifle to choose from all the available choices and options, then wait six years for delivery of the "Best Royal Grade Rifle" custom-made to fit him or her in every way.
Waiting six years for a rifle seems worth it when that's what we've been looking for, know that's exactly what we want, and that anything less will never do.
But then other times people can't wait five minutes before jumping into bed with a new partner, or think nothing of diving into the first or most convenient relationship that drops into their laps ... because when it comes to waiting and making critical decisions that will affect and impact every facet of their lives forever, expecting folks to Wait for the One Custom-made to Fit in Every Way is asking too much, and they'll reach for whatever's still left on the shelf.
Heck they might even think it sounds stupid hearing that their lives will be impacted forever (think heart ache, or charging elephants) by jumping the gun early and making a mistake.
That's what sounds weird to me.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
On Facebook & stuff
I decided to kill 15 minutes this afternoon while Mr. Wonder-Washer takes care of tomorrow's jeans today, and wandered around Facebook's newest stupification (my word, yaaa), "COMPARE FRIENDS."
We'll skip over exactly what that means because I'm not sure what that means, but as I was about to click away from the page that revealed my friends apparently think Bald Eagles are more kissable than me, I noticed an ominous orange skull in a lower sidebar with the caption "Find Out When You Will Die."
I guess if a dummy clicked on the skull, paid them some money, a computer would then calculate the precise moment (if not the actual means) of his earthly departure.
Look I know computers are smart and everything, but come on, does anybody (except a dummy) really believe that type of forecasting actually works?
I mean, if I paid them my dummy-money and they said I was gonna die on such-and-such a date, shoot, then all I'd have to do is stay home and watch TV that day. End of forecast.
Just one reason why I'm pretty sure it's a scam ... and one more thing to interfere with my plans.
We'll skip over exactly what that means because I'm not sure what that means, but as I was about to click away from the page that revealed my friends apparently think Bald Eagles are more kissable than me, I noticed an ominous orange skull in a lower sidebar with the caption "Find Out When You Will Die."
I guess if a dummy clicked on the skull, paid them some money, a computer would then calculate the precise moment (if not the actual means) of his earthly departure.
Look I know computers are smart and everything, but come on, does anybody (except a dummy) really believe that type of forecasting actually works?
I mean, if I paid them my dummy-money and they said I was gonna die on such-and-such a date, shoot, then all I'd have to do is stay home and watch TV that day. End of forecast.
Just one reason why I'm pretty sure it's a scam ... and one more thing to interfere with my plans.
But I gave MYSELF permission
Ezekiel 3:20
"Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood."
The Holy Spirit never gives us permission to sin; choosing to go ahead and sin anyway feels like a privilege we're entitled to grant ourselves anytime it seems convenient.
You've already heard this old saw: "God's already promised to forgive me for anything I do, so what's the big deal if I slip up and sin some anyway?"
Whoa, hold your horses. Grace isn't something we were given any choice about arbitrarily dispensing to ourselves. Grace comes from God's mercy alone, through Christ sacrificing himself on the cross for our sins ... not the other way around.
"Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?"
Romans 6:16
Oh gosh, the word Sin sounds so Puritanical and Judgmental. You never hear the word "sin" outside of church anyway, so if a little sinning sounds like fun and isn't hurting anybody, that should be private stuff between God n' me or whoever I'm doing it with.
"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient."
Ephesians 5:6
There's a not-so-subtle difference between humbly asking for forgiveness and selfishly expecting to be forgiven. God knows our hearts, God knows where our faith truly lies, and God knows when we lie and deceive ourselves about living by our faith:
"For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."
Romans 1:17
God doesn't hate sin because sinning is fun, exciting and glamorous and he's not the grumpy old man upstairs who wants to make sure we're miserable, scared and brooding while we're living in his apartment downstairs. God hates sin because sin ignores his word and mocks his holiness: sin is pursuing our wants, instead of seeking his will.
All sin, any sin, is a deviation from God's flawless design and is therefore imperfect, pernicious, rebellious and unacceptable in his eyes. God hates sin because it's a perversion of his perfect design and plan for our lives. For believers, sinning means forgetting who we are, and ignoring who God planned for us to be:
"In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God."
Psalm 10:4
Only the enemy is foolish enough to believe he's smarter, more in touch or more powerful than God.
---
"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness."
Romans 6:13
People willing to set their faith aside to pursue a good time in the moment are looking for a distraction from being reminded who they are in the present, believing that breaking God's law today will somehow fix what's broken inside them tomorrow. Sinning today has never been enough or satisfied them, but they still expect to be forgiven and free to sin the same way tomorrow. And next weekend too, if that's what happens to suit them.
Drugs (illegal or otherwise; or getting blasted with alcohol) sure sound appealing when reality seems dull or overwhelming. The prospect of sexual conquests (guys) and romantic adventures (ladies) are actually the two opposite sides of one sin coin revealed at the same time: a woman trading disinterested sex for emotion, and a man exchanging half-hearted emotion for sexual gratification.
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
1 Corinthians 6:18
All sin is abhorrent and separates us from God's perfect plan for our lives. Obedience means staying faithful during trials and temptations, keeping God's word in our hearts and honoring him in every thought, word and deed.
"Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood."
The Holy Spirit never gives us permission to sin; choosing to go ahead and sin anyway feels like a privilege we're entitled to grant ourselves anytime it seems convenient.
You've already heard this old saw: "God's already promised to forgive me for anything I do, so what's the big deal if I slip up and sin some anyway?"
Whoa, hold your horses. Grace isn't something we were given any choice about arbitrarily dispensing to ourselves. Grace comes from God's mercy alone, through Christ sacrificing himself on the cross for our sins ... not the other way around.
"Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?"
Romans 6:16
Oh gosh, the word Sin sounds so Puritanical and Judgmental. You never hear the word "sin" outside of church anyway, so if a little sinning sounds like fun and isn't hurting anybody, that should be private stuff between God n' me or whoever I'm doing it with.
"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient."
Ephesians 5:6
There's a not-so-subtle difference between humbly asking for forgiveness and selfishly expecting to be forgiven. God knows our hearts, God knows where our faith truly lies, and God knows when we lie and deceive ourselves about living by our faith:
"For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."
Romans 1:17
God doesn't hate sin because sinning is fun, exciting and glamorous and he's not the grumpy old man upstairs who wants to make sure we're miserable, scared and brooding while we're living in his apartment downstairs. God hates sin because sin ignores his word and mocks his holiness: sin is pursuing our wants, instead of seeking his will.
All sin, any sin, is a deviation from God's flawless design and is therefore imperfect, pernicious, rebellious and unacceptable in his eyes. God hates sin because it's a perversion of his perfect design and plan for our lives. For believers, sinning means forgetting who we are, and ignoring who God planned for us to be:
"In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God."
Psalm 10:4
Only the enemy is foolish enough to believe he's smarter, more in touch or more powerful than God.
---
"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness."
Romans 6:13
People willing to set their faith aside to pursue a good time in the moment are looking for a distraction from being reminded who they are in the present, believing that breaking God's law today will somehow fix what's broken inside them tomorrow. Sinning today has never been enough or satisfied them, but they still expect to be forgiven and free to sin the same way tomorrow. And next weekend too, if that's what happens to suit them.
Drugs (illegal or otherwise; or getting blasted with alcohol) sure sound appealing when reality seems dull or overwhelming. The prospect of sexual conquests (guys) and romantic adventures (ladies) are actually the two opposite sides of one sin coin revealed at the same time: a woman trading disinterested sex for emotion, and a man exchanging half-hearted emotion for sexual gratification.
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
1 Corinthians 6:18
All sin is abhorrent and separates us from God's perfect plan for our lives. Obedience means staying faithful during trials and temptations, keeping God's word in our hearts and honoring him in every thought, word and deed.
Great Deal, or No Deal at all?
"If you go shopping looking for a deal, you're going to find and go home with one."
-advice I received from a preeminent antique collector
Depending on traffic, it usually takes anywhere between 47 and 48 seconds to drive the 200 yards from the dock parking lot to the marina cafeteria (if you're asking "Why not just walk?" it's because after 3 or 12 beers, everybody loves the challenge of hitting a moving target- especially a bumbling, flat-footed target like me).
Last night 47 seconds was just long enough to tune in 106.9 and hear a snippet from Chip Ingram, who asked his live congregation, "When you look back on your life and think of all the things that caused you the most anguish, hurt and frustration isn't it strange that the pains we remember come from our relationships, and not from things in our finances?" (my paraphrase).
Chip was emphasizing the folly of worrying about money, but I want to take his question in a different direction because it got me thinking, "If we already know our emotional vulnerability is intertwined with our relationships, then why the heck aren't we more careful when it comes to making decisions about who we're gonna start dating in the first place?"
I mean, I'm just about 100% convinced I'll never suddenly wake up and find myself at the altar, married to a woman I'm meeting for the very first time.
No, we're gonna start dating first ... and I'm also convinced a First Date must come before a second (or even 19th) date. So it's much easier walking around emotional minefields, even if it takes longer and requires more patience, than it is convincing myself it's perfectly safe to close my eyes, cover my ears and try tap-dancing my way through. Even when I'm in a hurry to get where I'm going.
Or maybe you're tired of sitting around bored on weekends, but not necessarily interested in commitment or even starting a relationship, and decided "recreational dating" is a valid substitute for the real pursuit. But a little recreational dating is like having a little "recreational exploratory surgery" and happens for the same reason: you're uneasy about what's causing all the heart pains and stomach-churning deep down inside, and whether it's ever going to stop.
---
It's only after a First Date that the tiny seed of a commitment can take root , or that a bad relationship can start growing tangled vines around the trunk protecting around our hearts and its weight can begin holding us back from growth.
Looking back now, I see how often a Weed-Eater (or better yet, a John Deere riding mower) was actually what I needed ... not adding fertilizers or hormones by following-up with a second date.
-In 1921 this Holland & Holland .577 Nitro Express double rifle sold for about $1500. Two years ago the same rifle went for $175,000 ... and good luck trying to find one out there at anywhere near that price today. Only Holland & Holland is Holland & Holland, and there aren't any "deals" on a Holland available anywhere.
A genuine keeper, not the latest look-a-like or imitation but The Real Deal, can be agonizingly hard to find ... and there just aren't any "Deals" out there worth the investment. Least of all when it comes to dating and relationships.
Proverbs 4:23
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Proverbs 24:11-13
"Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
-advice I received from a preeminent antique collector
Depending on traffic, it usually takes anywhere between 47 and 48 seconds to drive the 200 yards from the dock parking lot to the marina cafeteria (if you're asking "Why not just walk?" it's because after 3 or 12 beers, everybody loves the challenge of hitting a moving target- especially a bumbling, flat-footed target like me).
Last night 47 seconds was just long enough to tune in 106.9 and hear a snippet from Chip Ingram, who asked his live congregation, "When you look back on your life and think of all the things that caused you the most anguish, hurt and frustration isn't it strange that the pains we remember come from our relationships, and not from things in our finances?" (my paraphrase).
Chip was emphasizing the folly of worrying about money, but I want to take his question in a different direction because it got me thinking, "If we already know our emotional vulnerability is intertwined with our relationships, then why the heck aren't we more careful when it comes to making decisions about who we're gonna start dating in the first place?"
I mean, I'm just about 100% convinced I'll never suddenly wake up and find myself at the altar, married to a woman I'm meeting for the very first time.
No, we're gonna start dating first ... and I'm also convinced a First Date must come before a second (or even 19th) date. So it's much easier walking around emotional minefields, even if it takes longer and requires more patience, than it is convincing myself it's perfectly safe to close my eyes, cover my ears and try tap-dancing my way through. Even when I'm in a hurry to get where I'm going.
Or maybe you're tired of sitting around bored on weekends, but not necessarily interested in commitment or even starting a relationship, and decided "recreational dating" is a valid substitute for the real pursuit. But a little recreational dating is like having a little "recreational exploratory surgery" and happens for the same reason: you're uneasy about what's causing all the heart pains and stomach-churning deep down inside, and whether it's ever going to stop.
---
It's only after a First Date that the tiny seed of a commitment can take root , or that a bad relationship can start growing tangled vines around the trunk protecting around our hearts and its weight can begin holding us back from growth.
Looking back now, I see how often a Weed-Eater (or better yet, a John Deere riding mower) was actually what I needed ... not adding fertilizers or hormones by following-up with a second date.
-In 1921 this Holland & Holland .577 Nitro Express double rifle sold for about $1500. Two years ago the same rifle went for $175,000 ... and good luck trying to find one out there at anywhere near that price today. Only Holland & Holland is Holland & Holland, and there aren't any "deals" on a Holland available anywhere.A genuine keeper, not the latest look-a-like or imitation but The Real Deal, can be agonizingly hard to find ... and there just aren't any "Deals" out there worth the investment. Least of all when it comes to dating and relationships.
Proverbs 4:23
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Proverbs 24:11-13
"Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,'
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
Eat honey, my son, for it is good;
honey from the comb is sweet to your taste."
D is for Discernment
It's kinda troubling how the "D" in my middle name kept changing meanings through the years.
I'm pretty sure D first stood for Dummy (and said so on my birth certificate), then switched to Dejection back in high school, quickly followed by Detachment in college and Dropping the ball (or Delirium?) when it came to relationships and emotional attachment.
OK so it's taken some time, but I've got a better grip on the frame these days, and recognize that standing upside down and tilting my head sideways to see things that ain't in The Big Picture still won't make 2+2 ever add up to 6.
I've become a big fan of Discernment instead ... and of relying less on Disagreement, Divisiveness, Digression and Delusion, too.
Proverbs 17:10
"A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool."
Proverbs 2:4-6
"And if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
I'm pretty sure D first stood for Dummy (and said so on my birth certificate), then switched to Dejection back in high school, quickly followed by Detachment in college and Dropping the ball (or Delirium?) when it came to relationships and emotional attachment.
OK so it's taken some time, but I've got a better grip on the frame these days, and recognize that standing upside down and tilting my head sideways to see things that ain't in The Big Picture still won't make 2+2 ever add up to 6.
I've become a big fan of Discernment instead ... and of relying less on Disagreement, Divisiveness, Digression and Delusion, too.
Proverbs 17:10
"A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool."
Proverbs 2:4-6
"And if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding."
Psalm 34:4
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."
Thine sound bites
This is only a personal gripe, but it irketh me abundantly when I hear people trying to talk "real spiritual," embellishing their sentences with archaic words like Thee, Thou, Thine and Art.
Maybe some regional dialects in remote enclaves of England and Scotland still include Early Modern English left-overs from Shakespeare's day, but that's not really the point.
Do folks think they're adding a little "extry" holiness and importance to their thoughts by using archaic words like "Thee" and "Goest"?
Or could it be that "Thine" sounds more reverent and righteous than "Yall's"?
Christ spoke Aramaic after all, and never said "Thee" or "Thine" a single time ... because early modern English was still 1400 years in the future. And in the Old Testament, God didn't speak or reveal his holiness using words like "whicheth."
Anyway, for folks who still insist upon speaking like a scribe in King James's court, there's no point only going halfway with things, so here's a few Early Modern English grammar considerations to keep in mind.
And besides, what's more fun than keeping up with a few new rules?
* The letter S had two distinct lowercase forms: S as today, and f (long s). The former was used at the end of a word, and the latter everywhere else, except that by the turn of the seventeenth century, double-lowercase-s was written sf (instead of the older ff); hence earlier happineſſe and later happinesſe.
* U and V were not two distinct letters, but different forms of the same letter; V was used at the start of a word, and u in its interior; hence vnmoued (for modern unmoved), vſe (for use).
* Latin-derived words that today end in -al often ended in -all; hence maternall, actuall.
* The capital letter V was written double for capital W; hence VVeather, VVhen.
* One-syllable words often doubled the last consonant before adding this e; hence ſpeake, cowarde, manne (for man), runne (for run).
* Also due to French influence, words that today end in -ic and -ac were often spelled with -ique or -aque. Later, these words began to be spelled with -ick or -ack; hence prophetique, zodiaque.
* Words and adjectives denoting a person's origin that today end in -an but not -ian were often written with -ain or -aine; hence Romain, Germaine.
* The sound ʌ was often written; hence ſommer, plombe (for modern summer, plumb).
* The pronouns me and ye were often written mee and yee, respectively (like thee).
Verily I bestowest thanks upon Wikipedia, whencst I dost speaketh of and attributeth mine own sources.
Maybe some regional dialects in remote enclaves of England and Scotland still include Early Modern English left-overs from Shakespeare's day, but that's not really the point.
Do folks think they're adding a little "extry" holiness and importance to their thoughts by using archaic words like "Thee" and "Goest"?
Or could it be that "Thine" sounds more reverent and righteous than "Yall's"?
Christ spoke Aramaic after all, and never said "Thee" or "Thine" a single time ... because early modern English was still 1400 years in the future. And in the Old Testament, God didn't speak or reveal his holiness using words like "whicheth."
Anyway, for folks who still insist upon speaking like a scribe in King James's court, there's no point only going halfway with things, so here's a few Early Modern English grammar considerations to keep in mind.
And besides, what's more fun than keeping up with a few new rules?
* The letter S had two distinct lowercase forms: S as today, and f (long s). The former was used at the end of a word, and the latter everywhere else, except that by the turn of the seventeenth century, double-lowercase-s was written sf (instead of the older ff); hence earlier happineſſe and later happinesſe.
* U and V were not two distinct letters, but different forms of the same letter; V was used at the start of a word, and u in its interior; hence vnmoued (for modern unmoved), vſe (for use).
* Latin-derived words that today end in -al often ended in -all; hence maternall, actuall.
* The capital letter V was written double for capital W; hence VVeather, VVhen.
* One-syllable words often doubled the last consonant before adding this e; hence ſpeake, cowarde, manne (for man), runne (for run).
* Also due to French influence, words that today end in -ic and -ac were often spelled with -ique or -aque. Later, these words began to be spelled with -ick or -ack; hence prophetique, zodiaque.
* Words and adjectives denoting a person's origin that today end in -an but not -ian were often written with -ain or -aine; hence Romain, Germaine.
* The sound ʌ was often written
* The pronouns me and ye were often written mee and yee, respectively (like thee).
Verily I bestowest thanks upon Wikipedia, whencst I dost speaketh of and attributeth mine own sources.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Not even a close call, you see
"If the Lord had not been on our side when men attacked us, when their anger flared against us, they would have swallowed us alive; the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away."
Psalm 124:2-5
It's just not that hard to remember
Back in September 2006 I uploaded a music video recorded live during one of Vernon's Sunday morning worship services at Bible Baptist of Olorien in Arusha, Tanzania, East Africa.
I titled the video "Best Swahili Church Song Ever?" because of all the songs I heard, this one was my favorite (it still is).
Only thing was, the words are kinda indistinct now and it wasn't long before I forgot what the meaning was in Swahili.
Then this morning a 14-year old YouTube user clued me back in.
Yesu ni Wangu
Yesu ni wangu wa uzima wa milele
Wauzima wa milele
"Jesus is mine for evermore, for eternity
He is forever more ... for eternity.
He loves us
He cares for us."
Hmm. Seems like no matter whether it's sung in Swahili or in English, with organ music or without, with electric guitars or with a piano ... the meaning's still there and the same for eternity.
------------
"Msishug hulikie sana chakula kiharibikacho bali shughulikieni chakula kidumucho; chakula cha uzima wa milele. Chakula hicho, nitawapeni mimi Mwana waAdamu, ambaye Baba Mungu mwenyewe amenithibit isha.''"
-Yohana 6:27
"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."
John 6:27 (NIV)
Sifu safari, ya'll!
Yesu ni Wangu
Yesu ni wangu wa uzima wa milele
wa uzima…wa milele
Yahweh Yahweh Yahweh Yahweh
eh Yahweh Yahweh eh (eh Yahweh)
eh Yahweh Yahweh eh (eh Yahweh)
Anatupenda wa uzima wa milele
Anatujali wa uzima wa milele
wa uzima…wa milele
I titled the video "Best Swahili Church Song Ever?" because of all the songs I heard, this one was my favorite (it still is).
Only thing was, the words are kinda indistinct now and it wasn't long before I forgot what the meaning was in Swahili.
Then this morning a 14-year old YouTube user clued me back in.
Yesu ni Wangu
Yesu ni wangu wa uzima wa milele
Wauzima wa milele
"Jesus is mine for evermore, for eternity
He is forever more ... for eternity.
He loves us
He cares for us."
Hmm. Seems like no matter whether it's sung in Swahili or in English, with organ music or without, with electric guitars or with a piano ... the meaning's still there and the same for eternity.
------------
"Msishug hulikie sana chakula kiharibikacho bali shughulikieni chakula kidumucho; chakula cha uzima wa milele. Chakula hicho, nitawapeni mimi Mwana waAdamu, ambaye Baba Mungu mwenyewe amenithibit isha.''"
-Yohana 6:27
"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."
John 6:27 (NIV)
Sifu safari, ya'll!
Yesu ni Wangu
Yesu ni wangu wa uzima wa milele
wa uzima…wa milele
Yahweh Yahweh Yahweh Yahweh
eh Yahweh Yahweh eh (eh Yahweh)
eh Yahweh Yahweh eh (eh Yahweh)
Anatupenda wa uzima wa milele
Anatujali wa uzima wa milele
wa uzima…wa milele
Thursday, August 23, 2007
God's Plan for My Life: Revealed!
It's on our minds all the time: we wonder whether God really has a plan for our lives, and then fret about trying to figure out what it might be.
So for convenience, I came up with some possibilities and ideas of my own.
There must be a schedule for every minute of my life:
4:08am- Wake up
4:40- Start coffee
5:00am- blog
8am thru 5pm- boat stuff
5pm thru 9:30pm- watch TV, check email, MySpace, Facebook
9:30pm bedtime
Don't I need a schedule or a timetable so I'll know exactly where to find time for God in my life? NO
I'm pretty sure this is God's Plan for my career & employment:
-God's Number One Priority is for me to be happy
-Dismiss any job or position that's clearly beneath my skills and abilities, to avoid compromising my witness
-God understands how the saying "Nothing personal, it's just business" applies at the office
-Powerful and financially successful people are adored & admired by others for their skills, and make great witnesses once they've reached the top. That's why it's OK to do whatever it takes to get there
Doesn't God's plan make room to pursue my personal goals, priorities and ambitions for achievement, prestige, fame and success? NO
God's Plan for My Finances
-God's goal is making me happy
-God loves me, and doesn't expect me to tithe when my finances get tight
-God will bail me out of any financial crisis that I create, if I just pray hard enough
-God's promised me I'll have all the money and financial security I'll ever need
Isn't God my private bank and heavenly ATM? NO
What About God's Plan for My Dating & Relationship Life?
-God wants me to be happy in every way
-Identify attractive girls; invite them to church and impress them
-Especially pursue non-believing women, witness and try to convert them
-Charming believing women away from dead-end relationships with non-believing men, then dropping and forgetting them to find another woman who needs saving, is effective witnessing and a rewarding and fruitful ministry ... so long as you're convinced you're only doing it for the woman's own good
-Invite women over for after-hours "quiet time" and reflection, especially when confident of your own ability to resist temptation
-Humbly (but quickly & firmly) terminate all involvement with a woman at the first sign of trouble, disappointment or premature commitment
-Sit by the phone; wait for Miss Perfect Christian's call: Heaven knows she can't wait to meet you and see her world get rocked upside down
When it comes to marriage, dating and relationships, God lets me be a free agent and negotiate my own terms because it's a sexual ball-game out there on an uneven playing field: NO WAY
Believing that God has a perfect plan for our lives doesn't mean his plan is obscure or secreted away at some far off destination in the future, and that soon as we've worked our way there, everything in life will suddenly CLICK! and start pouring divine meaning and purpose into our lives.
God's plan for our lives means loving him first and above all (including ourselves), honoring his word with our thoughts and our deeds, and surrendering our lives and our purpose completely, permanently and totally to him.
Total Surrender doesn't mean surrendering a little bit, or saying "Fine then, I'll surrender ... but I'm keeping this part tucked away for myself." Surrendering is not a give-and-take proposition nor is surrendering an offer of negotiation for better terms.
Surrender means admitting defeat in every way, and giving up on resisting and fighting God's purpose for our lives.
Too often when we feel confused and uncertain about whether God has a plan for our lives, our confusion is the result of trying to merge God's plans and purpose with our own. And who do ya think's gonna win that little battle every time?
Psalm 25:12
"Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him."
Psalm 25:14
The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
So for convenience, I came up with some possibilities and ideas of my own.
There must be a schedule for every minute of my life:
4:08am- Wake up
4:40- Start coffee
5:00am- blog
8am thru 5pm- boat stuff
5pm thru 9:30pm- watch TV, check email, MySpace, Facebook
9:30pm bedtime
Don't I need a schedule or a timetable so I'll know exactly where to find time for God in my life? NO
I'm pretty sure this is God's Plan for my career & employment:
-God's Number One Priority is for me to be happy
-Dismiss any job or position that's clearly beneath my skills and abilities, to avoid compromising my witness
-God understands how the saying "Nothing personal, it's just business" applies at the office
-Powerful and financially successful people are adored & admired by others for their skills, and make great witnesses once they've reached the top. That's why it's OK to do whatever it takes to get there
Doesn't God's plan make room to pursue my personal goals, priorities and ambitions for achievement, prestige, fame and success? NO
God's Plan for My Finances
-God's goal is making me happy
-God loves me, and doesn't expect me to tithe when my finances get tight
-God will bail me out of any financial crisis that I create, if I just pray hard enough
-God's promised me I'll have all the money and financial security I'll ever need
Isn't God my private bank and heavenly ATM? NO
What About God's Plan for My Dating & Relationship Life?
-God wants me to be happy in every way
-Identify attractive girls; invite them to church and impress them
-Especially pursue non-believing women, witness and try to convert them
-Charming believing women away from dead-end relationships with non-believing men, then dropping and forgetting them to find another woman who needs saving, is effective witnessing and a rewarding and fruitful ministry ... so long as you're convinced you're only doing it for the woman's own good
-Invite women over for after-hours "quiet time" and reflection, especially when confident of your own ability to resist temptation
-Humbly (but quickly & firmly) terminate all involvement with a woman at the first sign of trouble, disappointment or premature commitment
-Sit by the phone; wait for Miss Perfect Christian's call: Heaven knows she can't wait to meet you and see her world get rocked upside down
When it comes to marriage, dating and relationships, God lets me be a free agent and negotiate my own terms because it's a sexual ball-game out there on an uneven playing field: NO WAY
Believing that God has a perfect plan for our lives doesn't mean his plan is obscure or secreted away at some far off destination in the future, and that soon as we've worked our way there, everything in life will suddenly CLICK! and start pouring divine meaning and purpose into our lives.
God's plan for our lives means loving him first and above all (including ourselves), honoring his word with our thoughts and our deeds, and surrendering our lives and our purpose completely, permanently and totally to him.
Total Surrender doesn't mean surrendering a little bit, or saying "Fine then, I'll surrender ... but I'm keeping this part tucked away for myself." Surrendering is not a give-and-take proposition nor is surrendering an offer of negotiation for better terms.
Surrender means admitting defeat in every way, and giving up on resisting and fighting God's purpose for our lives.
Too often when we feel confused and uncertain about whether God has a plan for our lives, our confusion is the result of trying to merge God's plans and purpose with our own. And who do ya think's gonna win that little battle every time?
Psalm 25:12
"Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him."
Psalm 25:14
The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
Job 28:28
"And he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord- that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.' "
John 9:31
"We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will."
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I'm at a standstill because I'm scared of screwing things up
Here ya go, pictured below are the dreaded 4/0 marine battery cables for my inverter (shown with a quarter, for comparison).
Tackling the inverter's installation all by myself will be the most difficult, complex and involved boat-related task I've ever attempted. Months and months of planning, figuring and measuring has brought me to the point where it's time to get started, and I'm well aware that Doing the job right is gonna use up every bit of knowledge & confidence I've got and exceed the work-experience I'm carrying under my belt.
Think of the job as heart transplant surgery combined with replacing your brain's cortex and entire central nervous system all at the same time, while keeping all your memories and emotions completely intact.
The cables are so thick because they gotta push 200+ amps (same amount going into your house) of constant DC current back and forth across the boat, from the battery bank all the way to the inverter, and connect with the engine's alternator, bonding circuit, main AC panel and (new) central DC and fuse panels.
Installation means drilling 8 (I counted eight?) 1" holes so the cables can be run through all the plywood bulkheads and fiberglass decks separating the individual components.
Even day-dreaming about drilling 8 inches of holes through water-tight decks and Screwing Things Up gives me hives because there's permanent consequences associated with unintentionally letting water in, and diluting my living environment.
Then there's also the possibility of drilling eight holes only to find out the cables are too short to reach, or that I've drilled all my holes into a dead-end compartment, or of finding out the holes are too close together for the cables to bend and go through the other side.
But the truly terrifying part is imagining how other people might react to me screwing things up. Do I really wanna be ridiculed for the rest of my marina-life for one insignificant little catastrophe (like sinking or burning up my own boat)? Do I really wanna take that risk ... or should I just give up now, and let somebody else do the job for me? Do I really wanna be doing this, especially when I'm not sure of the outcome?
Finally, this morning I realized my predicament comes down to this:
Installing the inverter is the task I was assigned, and no amount of fear, hesitation or uncertainty on my part is gonna somehow help or inspire those inch-thick cables to get moving and start worming their way in or find their own way through fiberglass walls. Just ain't gonna happen, no matter how much I worry and fret about screwing things up.
I can't run battery cables without drilling holes where no holes presently exist. Period. In the long term, the only thing worse than screwing things up would be to have stood around doing nothing, imagining how the cables ought to be run, waiting for the cables to install themselves ... and living with remembering I was too scared to even try tackling the big job and finding out whether I could actually do it.
Today's "Doing This Job Right Requires Drilling Holes in My Head" Playlist: *
Let's Get It Started - the band's Overdrive (live) version
- From The Thursday Mixed (laundry) Bag Department:
Joe Sangl's just about turned me into a cheap nickel-squeezing curmudgeon, and probably likes it that way. There, I said it: No more will I feed $20 worth of quarters into greedy commercial washers and dryers every week just to have clean clothes (for Sundays anyway).
I hooked myself up with the $42 dollar Wonder-Washer from Amazon, and now do my own laundry instead, without ever once setting foot on dry ground.
Does it work? You bet it works. The all-electric Wonder-Washer requires no external plumbing and cycles a pair of jeans and a shirt in just 15 easy minutes. And "So what?" if it looks like a church picnic-sized community blender ... the Wonder-Washer's probably my best new friend.
"Turns out my Personal Business is everybody's business after all"
These ARE My Clothes Clothes:
* On boats, the lavatory is correctly referred to as the "head."
Tackling the inverter's installation all by myself will be the most difficult, complex and involved boat-related task I've ever attempted. Months and months of planning, figuring and measuring has brought me to the point where it's time to get started, and I'm well aware that Doing the job right is gonna use up every bit of knowledge & confidence I've got and exceed the work-experience I'm carrying under my belt.
Think of the job as heart transplant surgery combined with replacing your brain's cortex and entire central nervous system all at the same time, while keeping all your memories and emotions completely intact.The cables are so thick because they gotta push 200+ amps (same amount going into your house) of constant DC current back and forth across the boat, from the battery bank all the way to the inverter, and connect with the engine's alternator, bonding circuit, main AC panel and (new) central DC and fuse panels.
Installation means drilling 8 (I counted eight?) 1" holes so the cables can be run through all the plywood bulkheads and fiberglass decks separating the individual components.
Even day-dreaming about drilling 8 inches of holes through water-tight decks and Screwing Things Up gives me hives because there's permanent consequences associated with unintentionally letting water in, and diluting my living environment.
Then there's also the possibility of drilling eight holes only to find out the cables are too short to reach, or that I've drilled all my holes into a dead-end compartment, or of finding out the holes are too close together for the cables to bend and go through the other side.
But the truly terrifying part is imagining how other people might react to me screwing things up. Do I really wanna be ridiculed for the rest of my marina-life for one insignificant little catastrophe (like sinking or burning up my own boat)? Do I really wanna take that risk ... or should I just give up now, and let somebody else do the job for me? Do I really wanna be doing this, especially when I'm not sure of the outcome?
Finally, this morning I realized my predicament comes down to this:
Installing the inverter is the task I was assigned, and no amount of fear, hesitation or uncertainty on my part is gonna somehow help or inspire those inch-thick cables to get moving and start worming their way in or find their own way through fiberglass walls. Just ain't gonna happen, no matter how much I worry and fret about screwing things up.
I can't run battery cables without drilling holes where no holes presently exist. Period. In the long term, the only thing worse than screwing things up would be to have stood around doing nothing, imagining how the cables ought to be run, waiting for the cables to install themselves ... and living with remembering I was too scared to even try tackling the big job and finding out whether I could actually do it.
Today's "Doing This Job Right Requires Drilling Holes in My Head" Playlist: *
Let's Get It Started - the band's Overdrive (live) version
- From The Thursday Mixed (laundry) Bag Department:
Joe Sangl's just about turned me into a cheap nickel-squeezing curmudgeon, and probably likes it that way. There, I said it: No more will I feed $20 worth of quarters into greedy commercial washers and dryers every week just to have clean clothes (for Sundays anyway).
I hooked myself up with the $42 dollar Wonder-Washer from Amazon, and now do my own laundry instead, without ever once setting foot on dry ground.
Does it work? You bet it works. The all-electric Wonder-Washer requires no external plumbing and cycles a pair of jeans and a shirt in just 15 easy minutes. And "So what?" if it looks like a church picnic-sized community blender ... the Wonder-Washer's probably my best new friend.
"Turns out my Personal Business is everybody's business after all"
These ARE My Clothes Clothes:
* On boats, the lavatory is correctly referred to as the "head."
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Into the Wild ... when I find time
"What would possess a gifted young man recently graduated from college to literally walk away from his life?" *
Read this book, then shoot me an email and tell me what you think. I'd like to know what you're feeling at the end, and if there's anything you found interesting or troubling while learning about his decisions and how Planning impacted his life. Not a trick question; really I'd like to find out. How's that for a quick review.
Now can you find time to sit down and do it ... or just wait till next year, when the movie comes out on DVD?
Even before the arrival of online retailers like Amazon.com, Paris had more bookstores lining its streets than the US could count in all fifty states combined. But since I can't read or speak French, so what?
Back in 2004, Reading at Risk: A Survey of Literary Reading in America reported that literary reading had dropped in every age group, with the steepest rate of decline - 28 percent - occurring in the youngest age groups. Fewer than half of American adults are now reading literature. (1)
The survey also points to an overall decline of 10 percentage points in literary readers from 1982 to 2002 (that's 20 million potential readers). Unfortunately, the rate of decline is increasing and has nearly tripled in the last ten years ... from 5 to 14 percent since 1992. "This report documents a national crisis" and "reflects a general collapse in advanced literacy."
But while reading may have declined, "the number of people doing creative writing increased by 30 percent, from 11 million in 1982 to more than 14 million in 2002." However, "The number of people who reported having taken a creative writing class or lesson decreased by 2.2 million during the same time period."
OK, big deal. So what's all that mean, anyway?
Well, if DVD rentals, Ipod, home computer, plasma TV screens and video game sales have exploded during the same period, the survey might at least suggest that more American adults are interested in entertaining, distracting, expressing and tickling themselves than they are in learning HOW to express themselves ... or in discovering and exploring anything that's not already situated between their ears.
Most of us are convinced we aren't Morons and already know pretty much everything about life worth knowing; that our life experiences and our personal relationships are more valuable, intense and interesting than anyone else's [doesn't nearly everybody who knows what the word means have their own blog by now? 2].
So with little in life left for us to learn or appreciate (and without an audience of eager readers or listeners around to entertain), what's left for us to do with our time ... but sit back and be entertained ourselves?
One excuse is that reading is too slow and takes too much time! If we see a 90-minute DVD (or a challenging new video game) side-by-side on a shelf with a thick book, picking up the book and taking time to read it looks like too much work and requires too much dedication compared to sinking back in an armchair chair and punching PLAY.
Our time is more precious than ever, and all we're asking for is immediate gratification and an entertaining distraction from our hectic lifestyle. And make that the sooner the better. So we plunge our heads to the shoulders into the snack food bag and start chowing down ... when what our minds crave might be something unfamiliar and nutritious. Like a sit-down brain meal with a good book.
Whether we spend two hours watching an action thriller (for the sixth time), downloading playlists for our Ipods or reading a thick best-seller doesn't alter the fact that two hours is still two hours: what we do with the balance of our time doesn't change that the amount being withdrawn and subtracted from our account's still the same.
Learning is almost always hard (especially for me) and many of us try to avoid it whenever we can. Learning makes us uncomfortable when Learning means being confronted with the possibility that we actually didn't know nearly as much as we thought we did. Or even as much as the next guy, and just look at him ... but haven't we been told from the beginning that life's supposed to be All About Me, after all?
Learning something about ourselves that we didn't already know can also hint that up until now we've been merrily waltzing through life, smug and happy keeping up with the music, without once noticing we forgot to put pants on before leaving the house between our ears.
And is there anything in the world more embarrassing than being embarrassed?
Sources:
* Amazon.com editorial review
1. NEA Newsroom
2. estimated 60 million bloggers worldwide. Blog Herald
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Sometimes I STILL feel like a teen!
Alden Ellis is one of the youth pastors at NewSpring Church. Here's an excerpt from his blog on August 14:
Worth keeping in mind, even for those of us whose teen years elapsed back in the Dark Ages.
"Some of you maybe asking, “How do I keep Jesus first, as I live the changed live?” So in closing, here are a couple of things God placed on my heart to share with all of you. If you want to live out the changed life be sure to do these two things:
- ASK FOR HELP
- Ask for Help from JESUS: We must PRAY and ask Jesus for continued strength and encouragement to live the changed life. Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
- Ask for Help from OTHERS: We all need ACCOUNTABILITY in our lives. We need other people in our lives to encourage us and call us out when we are doing something stupid. Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
- Ask for Help from JESUS: We must PRAY and ask Jesus for continued strength and encouragement to live the changed life. Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
- STAY CONNECTED
- Stay Connected to JESUS: The best way to stay connected to Jesus is through HIS WORD, the Bible! We must read the Bible daily, allowing Him to speak to us through His love letter to us. There is so much wisdom, encouragement, strength, and instruction that we must seek out if we want to continue to keep Jesus first and live the changed life. Proverbs 7:2-3, “Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.”
- Stay Connected to Others: We all need COMMUNITY/FELLOWSHIP. We need to join together on a regular basis to worship together, to pray together, to learn together, to just fellowship with each other. We need friendships with like minded people who are passionate about keeping Jesus first in their lives."
- Stay Connected to JESUS: The best way to stay connected to Jesus is through HIS WORD, the Bible! We must read the Bible daily, allowing Him to speak to us through His love letter to us. There is so much wisdom, encouragement, strength, and instruction that we must seek out if we want to continue to keep Jesus first and live the changed life. Proverbs 7:2-3, “Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.”
Worth keeping in mind, even for those of us whose teen years elapsed back in the Dark Ages.
Suits me - updated
This morning I read the four gospel accounts of events immediately following the discovery of Christ's resurrection:
"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb." -John 20:1-3
"When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others." -Luke 24:9
"But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' " - Mark 16:7
"Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." - Matthew 28:9-10
Look, if the resurrection wasn't a literal event, but a hoax pulled off by cunning disciples eager to suffer agonizing deaths as martyrs for the lie they created, or a total fiction tacked on to gospel accounts centuries later by diabolical scribes in a basement, then Christianity itself must be an utter farce ... which would make believers the most spectacularly misguided and deceived population of people ever to live on the planet. There's just no room for ambiguity here.
But if his resurrection was real and Christ did rise from the dead, then there's no ambiguity either that the Messiah's resurrection stands alone as the single-most spectacular event since creation.
What struck me in re-reading the gospel accounts was that none of the people who first witnessed the most awesome and powerful event in human history were told, Go to the others and tell them what you have seen, but first dress yourselves appropriately in your best ... which shall mean hereinafter suits and ties for men, and calf-length skirts for ladies.
I just get the feeling there was too much joy and excitement filling the empty tomb that Sunday morning for any of the first-hand witnesses of God's awesome power to even start thinking about their appearance, or cause them to stay home that day because "I just don't have anything to wear!"
Much less notice what anyone else happened to be wearing, either.
Matthew 28:5-10
Luke 24:1-12
Mark 16:1-7
John 20:1-8
"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb." -John 20:1-3
"When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others." -Luke 24:9
"But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' " - Mark 16:7
"Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." - Matthew 28:9-10
Look, if the resurrection wasn't a literal event, but a hoax pulled off by cunning disciples eager to suffer agonizing deaths as martyrs for the lie they created, or a total fiction tacked on to gospel accounts centuries later by diabolical scribes in a basement, then Christianity itself must be an utter farce ... which would make believers the most spectacularly misguided and deceived population of people ever to live on the planet. There's just no room for ambiguity here.
But if his resurrection was real and Christ did rise from the dead, then there's no ambiguity either that the Messiah's resurrection stands alone as the single-most spectacular event since creation.
What struck me in re-reading the gospel accounts was that none of the people who first witnessed the most awesome and powerful event in human history were told, Go to the others and tell them what you have seen, but first dress yourselves appropriately in your best ... which shall mean hereinafter suits and ties for men, and calf-length skirts for ladies.
I just get the feeling there was too much joy and excitement filling the empty tomb that Sunday morning for any of the first-hand witnesses of God's awesome power to even start thinking about their appearance, or cause them to stay home that day because "I just don't have anything to wear!"
Much less notice what anyone else happened to be wearing, either.
Matthew 28:5-10
Luke 24:1-12
Mark 16:1-7
John 20:1-8
Don't Wake for Me!
I've already described the aggravation of putting up with inconsiderate folks who ignore the NO WAKE ZONE buoys and signs around the marina, but this weekend prompted (provoked?) me to memorialize just what I'm talking about.
On Sunday afternoon, the wake created by a cretin who ignored the buoys was violent enough to actually pitch books from their shelves and toss dishes across the cabin ... literally worse than anything the tornado threw at Calypso back in June.
So I decided to wait in the helm with a videocamera, and capture the next passing event.
Turns out I didn't have to wait long to spot another pontooner (and a day-boat right behind him) ignoring the buoys and blasting through the NO WAKE zone ... and uploaded the footage on YouTube.
On Sunday afternoon, the wake created by a cretin who ignored the buoys was violent enough to actually pitch books from their shelves and toss dishes across the cabin ... literally worse than anything the tornado threw at Calypso back in June.
So I decided to wait in the helm with a videocamera, and capture the next passing event.
Turns out I didn't have to wait long to spot another pontooner (and a day-boat right behind him) ignoring the buoys and blasting through the NO WAKE zone ... and uploaded the footage on YouTube.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Praying for self-control is useless
"The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him;
the cords of his sin hold him fast."
-Proverbs 5:22 (NIV)
Oh boy, let's start Monday off with a bang. I've given up on trying to stop sinning.
That's right, I've finally accepted that trying to stop sinning is hopeless. I know because I've tried and tried and prayed as hard as I could, but then there I go right on sinning, just like Paul admitted to the Romans.
"I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate."
-Romans 7:15 (NLT)
It's especially tough to stop sinning here at the marina on weekends.
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
-Matthew 5:28 (NIV)
"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."
-Job 31:1 (NIV)
There wasn't any choice about giving up when it came to trying to stop myself from sinning, because I don't have the self-control or will power to do it. No matter how much or how hard I prayed for a shortcut.
Self-control was useless ... what I needed was God-Control.
So I gave up trying to stop sinning when I realized believing in Christ meant I'd already been rescued, and what I had to do was start living a life that was dead to sin. Totally, in every way. As the perfect new creation God intended.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
-2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
Giving up on self-control meant realizing I was powerless to stop sinning, and grasping that my old sinful nature had died once Christ began living within me.
"Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God."
-Romans 6:8-10 (NIV)
I gave up on the vanity of self-control and the bankruptcy of valiant efforts because I finally understood that being raised with Christ meant that I was made completely new in him. I was dead to sin ... and free from the grip of its temptations.
"So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God.
"For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."
-Romans 7:4-6 (NIV)
the cords of his sin hold him fast."
-Proverbs 5:22 (NIV)
Oh boy, let's start Monday off with a bang. I've given up on trying to stop sinning.
That's right, I've finally accepted that trying to stop sinning is hopeless. I know because I've tried and tried and prayed as hard as I could, but then there I go right on sinning, just like Paul admitted to the Romans.
"I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate."
-Romans 7:15 (NLT)
It's especially tough to stop sinning here at the marina on weekends.
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
-Matthew 5:28 (NIV)
"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."
-Job 31:1 (NIV)
Oh man, that's a lot more weight than I can handle ... and Jesus said those words 2000 years ago, when women weren't even seen in public unless they were covered in dresses flowing from head down to toe. Long before halter tops, string bikinis, low-riding jeans and tan lines showed up on the scene.
I mean did Christ really expect me to read and live those words to the letter, without ever stumbling a single time? Is that realistic to expect from me? Hmm ... I thought that if I kept looking hard & long enough, maybe I could find a little wiggle room somewhere in scripture to let me off the hook.
"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."
-Mark 9:47 (NIV)
Surely he didn't mean that literally, did he? Did he?
"Every word of God is flawless;
he is a shield to those who take refuge in him."
-Proverbs 30:5 (NIV)
So that's what I've been up against.
"I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me."
-Romans 7:22-23 (NLT)
My chances of stopping myself from sinning started looking awfully bleak because the law showed me my sins, but trying to follow the law wasn't saving me from them.
"For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death."
- Romans 7:11 (NIV)
I tried reading the Bible more and more often and prayed God would take temptations and all my bad habits away from me. That didn't work out as easily as I wanted, so I tried self-control till my eyes crossed ... and started feeling out of control and hopeless instead.
"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" -Romans 7:24There wasn't any choice about giving up when it came to trying to stop myself from sinning, because I don't have the self-control or will power to do it. No matter how much or how hard I prayed for a shortcut.
Self-control was useless ... what I needed was God-Control.
So I gave up trying to stop sinning when I realized believing in Christ meant I'd already been rescued, and what I had to do was start living a life that was dead to sin. Totally, in every way. As the perfect new creation God intended.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
-2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
Giving up on self-control meant realizing I was powerless to stop sinning, and grasping that my old sinful nature had died once Christ began living within me.
"Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God."
-Romans 6:8-10 (NIV)
I gave up on the vanity of self-control and the bankruptcy of valiant efforts because I finally understood that being raised with Christ meant that I was made completely new in him. I was dead to sin ... and free from the grip of its temptations.
"So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God.
"For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."
-Romans 7:4-6 (NIV)
Does that mean I'll never sin again? No, but it does mean by surrendering to Christ, and being re-born with him, that I'm dead to sin ... and no longer held captive in its snares.
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