Great Deal, or No Deal at all?

"If you go shopping looking for a deal, you're going to find and go home with one."
-advice I received from a preeminent antique collector

Depending on traffic, it usually takes anywhere between 47 and 48 seconds to drive the 200 yards from the dock parking lot to the marina cafeteria (if you're asking "Why not just walk?" it's because after 3 or 12 beers, everybody loves the challenge of hitting a moving target- especially a bumbling, flat-footed target like me).

Last night 47 seconds was just long enough to tune in 106.9 and hear a snippet from Chip Ingram, who asked his live congregation, "When you look back on your life and think of all the things that caused you the most anguish, hurt and frustration isn't it strange that the pains we remember come from our relationships, and not from things in our finances?" (my paraphrase).

Chip was emphasizing the folly of worrying about money, but I want to take his question in a different direction because it got me thinking, "If we already know our emotional vulnerability is intertwined with our relationships, then why the heck aren't we more careful when it comes to making decisions about who we're gonna start dating in the first place?"

I mean, I'm just about 100% convinced I'll never suddenly wake up and find myself at the altar, married to a woman I'm meeting for the very first time.

No, we're gonna start dating first ... and I'm also convinced a First Date must come before a second (or even 19th) date. So it's much easier walking around emotional minefields, even if it takes longer and requires more patience, than it is convincing myself it's perfectly safe to close my eyes, cover my ears and try tap-dancing my way through. Even when I'm in a hurry to get where I'm going.

Or maybe you're tired of sitting around bored on weekends, but not necessarily interested in commitment or even starting a relationship, and decided "recreational dating" is a valid substitute for the real pursuit. But a little recreational dating is like having a little "recreational exploratory surgery" and happens for the same reason: you're uneasy about what's causing all the heart pains and stomach-churning deep down inside, and whether it's ever going to stop.

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It's only after a First Date that the tiny seed of a commitment can take root , or that a bad relationship can start growing tangled vines around the trunk protecting around our hearts and its weight can begin holding us back from growth.

Looking back now, I see how often a Weed-Eater (or better yet, a John Deere riding mower) was actually what I needed ... not adding fertilizers or hormones by following-up with a second date.

-In 1921 this Holland & Holland .577 Nitro Express double rifle sold for about $1500. Two years ago the same rifle went for $175,000 ... and good luck trying to find one out there at anywhere near that price today. Only Holland & Holland is Holland & Holland, and there aren't any "deals" on a Holland available anywhere.

A genuine keeper, not the latest look-a-like or imitation but The Real Deal, can be agonizingly hard to find ... and there just aren't any "Deals" out there worth the investment. Least of all when it comes to dating and relationships.


Proverbs 4:23
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Proverbs 24:11-13
"Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.

If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,'
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?

Eat honey, my son, for it is good;
honey from the comb is sweet to your taste."