Thine sound bites

This is only a personal gripe, but it irketh me abundantly when I hear people trying to talk "real spiritual," embellishing their sentences with archaic words like Thee, Thou, Thine and Art.

Maybe some regional dialects in remote enclaves of England and Scotland still include Early Modern English left-overs from Shakespeare's day, but that's not really the point.

Do folks think they're adding a little "extry" holiness and importance to their thoughts by using archaic words like "Thee" and "Goest"?

Or could it be that "Thine" sounds more reverent and righteous than "Yall's"?

Christ spoke Aramaic after all, and never said "Thee" or "Thine" a single time ... because early modern English was still 1400 years in the future. And in the Old Testament, God didn't speak or reveal his holiness using words like "whicheth."

Anyway, for folks who still insist upon speaking like a scribe in King James's court, there's no point only going halfway with things, so here's a few Early Modern English grammar considerations to keep in mind.

And besides, what's more fun than keeping up with a few new rules?

* The letter S had two distinct lowercase forms: S as today, and f (long s). The former was used at the end of a word, and the latter everywhere else, except that by the turn of the seventeenth century, double-lowercase-s was written sf (instead of the older ff); hence earlier happineſſe and later happinesſe.
* U and V were not two distinct letters, but different forms of the same letter; V was used at the start of a word, and u in its interior; hence vnmoued (for modern unmoved), vſe (for use).
* Latin-derived words that today end in -al often ended in -all; hence maternall, actuall.
* The capital letter V was written double for capital W; hence VVeather, VVhen.
* One-syllable words often doubled the last consonant before adding this e; hence ſpeake, cowarde, manne (for man), runne (for run).
* Also due to French influence, words that today end in -ic and -ac were often spelled with -ique or -aque. Later, these words began to be spelled with -ick or -ack; hence prophetique, zodiaque.
* Words and adjectives denoting a person's origin that today end in -an but not -ian were often written with -ain or -aine; hence Romain, Germaine.
* The sound ʌ was often written ; hence ſommer, plombe (for modern summer, plumb).
* The pronouns me and ye were often written mee and yee, respectively (like thee).


Verily I bestowest thanks upon Wikipedia, whencst I dost speaketh of and attributeth mine own sources.