Paul's Occupational Interpretation

(satire)

-After 2000 years of haggling and fighting, could there possibly be one more totally irrelevant issue for believers to argue over, disagree with, become factionalized and devisive about? Uh oh, I think maybe so ...


I was taught that the apostle Paul was a tent-maker, but I'm not so sure. See, I'm pretty convinced Paul was actually a sail-maker.

Sure I live on a boat, but that's not my only reason for being contrary to convention.


1. Take a look at the map and see where Tarsus is. Tarsus was not a desert community near a caravan trail with hundreds of nomads stopping by overnight, nor was Tarsus a resort community situated adjacent to the Fertile Crescent Campground or the Cilicia National Park ... the kind of places where people needed tents as they traveled.

Tarsus is on the ocean, and folks traveling the Med on ships needed sails.

2. Tents last a long time; sails do not. Thus, there's more demand for sails and sail-makers than for tents and tent-makers.

3. Paul frequently traversed the Med how? Walking? Camel-pooling? Did he hitch rides from passing chariots or tote a tent timeshare on top of his backpack?

Nope, Paul's choice was a sail boat. And if he was alive today, Paul wouldn't drive a minivan.

He'd choose a catamaran.

-- -- --

I hope the next national religious convention will make the critical Tents vs Sails issue an emergency priority and arrive at some kind of comprehensive interpretation, so local churches will know what their policy should be (and whether it's OK to fire their pastor for using a tent-friendly translation).

Besides, would you want your church welcoming those folks ... the kind who live in tents?


Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
2 Timothy 2:23-24