Batteries not included - updated

The "Ex" (the shrink) mentioned in a previous post had another observation that's stuck with me.

She had her own theory about why, when bad things happen to us (say a car accident), we have a tendency to look back and convince ourselves, "If only I'd left the house 10 seconds sooner." Or, "If only I'd stopped to get gas, like I was supposed to."

We like to pretend things woulda been different if only we could use life's remote control, hit the button to re-wind time, and do an insignificant thing different that we could've changed the sequence of events leading up to the moment when disaster snuck up and grabbed us.

It's like the football fan who's convinced his team lost the big game because he didn't have his Lucky Shirt tucked in just right, or because he forgot to walk backwards three times around his favorite recliner before the game started. He's convinced two half-billion dollar sports franchises are more affected by what he wears, or by the way he walks around his living room, than they are by coaching, game planning or team practice.

If only I'd ...

The reason, the good doctor explained, is our persistent need to feel in control of our lives ... even with situations and events that took place in the past.

You can expand her point to include most any ordeal that either hurt , disappointed, or caused us to think "That would never have happened if only I'd ..." or "If only I hadn't ..."

If I'd only done one little thing different, that wouldn't have happened underscores our belief that we've actually had control over the billions of sequences of events that've happened to every one of us up to this second in our lives all along.

We don't like getting nasty surprises, especially when we're convinced we don't deserve them. And none of us like accepting the fact that we don't have a cushy seat reserved in Heaven's VIP Departure Lounge while we're watching the clock here on earth waiting to catch our flight home.

It scares us to think our lives might just be out there in the cosmos somewhere, bouncing between random bumpers like an un-numbered foosball, and that misfortune can still surprise us no matter how young we are, no matter what degrees we've earned, no matter where we live and no matter how much money we net after taxes.

We'd rather brick up the windows than acknowledge tragedy might show up unexpectedly at our doorstep, enter without knocking, move in like an uninvited guest and change our safe little routines forever.

We'll trust lucky key rings, astrologers, superstitions and even our own ability to prevent tragedies rather than place our faith where it matters most ... in the Creator himself.

If only I could do it over again ... if only we weren't so audacious.