Gonna Want One?

-- Part 7 (conclusion) --
Welcome to The Happy Helmet

Movie theaters will become obsolete much sooner than we think. So will CDs, DVDs, MP3 players, big screen TVs and home theater systems.

Books will vanish before that, and nutty, unsafe behavior like space exploration, automobile racing, sky diving, bungi jumping and mountain climbing will also have disappeared ... due to lack of interest.

The internet will have vanished, and Ipods and portable DVD players will seem like leftovers from the Stone Age compared to what's coming next.

Technology will have created something that's better than anything you can imagine, an experience more new, improved and exciting than the original.

And every one of us will be convinced we can't live without one.

What the heck am I talking about?

The Totally Awesome Entertaining and Simulated Life Happy Helmet!

You might start seeing ads like this:

Imagine watching hallucination-quality movies packed full of stunning 3D action and special effects thrills ... as though reality's happening right before your eyes! Imagine uncompressed skull-rattling surround sound so real you can feel it!

Imagine having all of life's experiences at your disposal- just waiting for your indulgence!

Only slightly larger than a conventional motorcycle helmet, once you've tried on The Happy Helmet you won't even notice it's there. You'll almost start wondering how you lived without one- But no you won't ... because your Happy Helmet experience will already be underway!

But The Happy Helmet doesn't just do movies, music and video games!

The Happy Helmet offers a comprehensive library of experiences, emotions and relationship simulations... ready whenever you need one!

Forget About Imagination! With the touch of a button you can:
-Conquer New Challenges ... from your couch!
-Feel what it's like to climb Mount Everest in total comfort and safety!
-Drive and win exciting NASCAR races! Crash all you want without risking hospitalization or injury!
-Be the winning quarterback in the Super Bowl ... and score all you want!
-Put yourself in life-like real combat with the latest new action games like World War III: Mid-East Meltdown!, Korean Nuclear Exchange! and Borderline: Terror Time in Texas!

Optional Happy Helmet Romance Package Firmware Upgrade Offer:
-If your current marriage is dull and boring, why not try spending a new honeymoon in Paris with Angelina? Inside The Happy Helmet is better than being there!
-Need Even More? If Angelina starts getting on your nerves, just change channels and do Las Vegas Jessica Biel-style any time you're ready!
-(Happy Helmet for Women includes Nick Lachey, Matthew McConaughey and Patrick Dempsey ... with no additional service charges or late fees!)

Thousands of testimonials from satisfied owners all say identically the same thing word for word: Life inside The Happy Helmet is indistinguishable from actually being alive! ... (and not just because we've wired them to think so, we promise!)

Real Life Will Never Be The Same! Order Yours Now!

Notice: Routine hygiene maintenance care by a trained professional strongly recommended.

If The Happy Helmet has a catch, it's gonna be that once you've put it on, The Happy Helmet can't come off.

Not ever, because the interface requires surgical attachment to the brain stem. But wearing the helmet 24x7 won't be a problem, because a heavy duty feed bag (included) will guarantee you'll stay nourished, full and happy ... without ever having to interrupt your entertainment experience.

Let's hope the first run of Happy Helmets don't get shipped with defective backup batteries. Just in case the electricity ever goes out, or somebody forgets to pay the power bill.